Sean continues touching Janet; her clothes are constricting his pursuit. He knows once she awakes the mood will be spoiled. His hand slips under her t-shirt, her breasts are plump and waiting for him, nipples hard.
He nuzzles his mouth to her ear, “Please Janet. I love you.”
When no reaction comes from her, he continues kneading, and caressing her body. Every time a moan escapes her lips, his erection responds. He unbuttons his jeans to give him some room. He looks to Janet’s face. She is awake with a sultry smile on her lips. He crushes his mouth to hers, invading her mouth with his tongue. Her hands lock behind his head, pushing him closer.
“Are you sure?” Sean his voice barely a whisper.
All Janet does in nod her head. He loses himself to the passion that had been boiling in his veins. A first for them since she woke up and he will make sure it’s the best she ever had. His mind far from Nancy and his one-night almost a year ago.
WRAPPED IN HER ARMS, a smile on his lips, Sean knows he needs to tell Janet. Afraid she will throw him out of her life he remains silent. During his passion, all that mattered had been Janet. However, thoughts of Nancy and her primal urges slams into forefront. Now he must live with his shame, his regret.
“Why are you home so early?” Janet ponders.
“To see you, of course.”
Sean pulls her closer and plants a kiss on the top of her head. Janet appears to be faraway in her thoughts. One of the many reasons he can’t spill the truth about Nancy. Her coldness breaks the spell; he grumbles and leave her on the bed. Stomping from the bedroom and retreating in the bathroom. Slam the bathroom door rattled in its hinges. He grips the bathroom sink, takes a long deep look at the reflection in the mirror. This must stop Sean. Nancy was a one-night stand in a time you were helpless.
“It don’t make it right.”
He turns on the shower, letting the water run over his aching muscles. Sean fights the images of Nancy. Her straddling him on the office chair, spread-eagle across his desk, his face buried between her legs. The thoughts come to fast and his body responds, even though he doesn’t want it to. He shuts off the hot water and stands in the cold water letting it coat his body. The guilt making his gut clench.
CHAPTER FOUR
Janet prays Sean thinks she is sleeping, in her moment of weakness. She had lost her sexual desire. Nothing Sean has done, her in general. He was so moody as of late, she knows it’s her, but she can’t help her feelings. You are going to lose him, Janet. Not sure if that’s her Mother or Dawn in her brain. All Janet knows she needs to snap out of the shit, either move on without Sean or find a way to love him. Janet does love Sean O’Malley, but not the way he deserves.
A silent tear escapes her eye as Sean leaves her side. A slam of the door, she knows in her heart she is the reason. As more tears threaten to fall, Janet recoils further in the blankets. Only if she could get over her planned murder. Her thoughts fall to Gary Anderson, the man who tried to kill her. She had been completely in love with him. She daydreamed about the perfect existence with this man. Sean had forbidden her to visit him in prison, but she must see him. She needs answers.
As she ponders on defying Sean, she tries to figure out a way to see him. This makes her jump out of bed and retrieve the scrapbook from its hiding place. Straining to hear, the water still running. Janet opens the book, newspaper articles ranging to ones she had written about the murders. Ending with his trial and conviction. As she is shuffling through the clippings, she notices the name of his lawyer. Derrek J. Zimmerman, she recognizes this name. If her memory serves her correct, he was a few years ahead of her in high school. She plans to contact Derrek, maybe he can get her into the prison to see him.
The water ceases and Janet hurriedly shoves the scrapbook back between her nightstand and bed, she prays Sean never finds this book. She also prays he never realizes she is planning on writing a book about her ordeal. Janet pulls the duvet over her head praying Sean thinks she is sleeping as he walks back in the room.
The bed divots due to the weight of Sean sitting on the edge. Janet peeks out from under the blanket, deep blue eyes meet her brown eyes. A smile spreads across her face, not fully reaching her eyes.
“Why hello there Mr. O’Malley.” Trying to sound upbeat.
Sean leans over strumming her cheek he kisses her forehead, “Do you feel better?”
Stretching Janet nods, “Yes that was wonderful. You’re home early. Everything alright with you?”
Sean’s mind is in a jumble, but he manages to reply, “Yeah, a long day didn’t feel like dealing with everything at work.”
Janet doesn’t reply to this, Sean has been distant and distracted for a long while, she hopes it’s her depression the cause. She had noticed he doesn’t want to spend time in the garage like he used to. Once upon a time he practically lived in that smelly and dirty place. However, now he loathes to stay there for a whole day. This seems odd to Janet but dismisses it due to her putting her life on hold and refusing to move forward.
SITTING IN HER OFFICE, Nancy Jasper ponders over her encounter with Sean. He hasn’t looked her way since that night while his girlfriend was fighting for her life. She smiles and remembers the way he touched her that fateful night. He had been so gentle and understanding. Never had he promised her anything she assumed that night would be one of many. Hurt she had been used in the vilest manner by someone she trusted. The venom boils to the surface, she can’t contain anything and decides she is going to ruin his life. He will rule the day he ever messed with Nancy Jasper. She slams out her office door, strutting through the garage on her way out. No one even notices her leaving, thoughts rage in her brain, her long black hair flowing behind her. She will not be someone who they ignore anymore. Sean is going to pay.
Nancy Jasper sits outside the small home; she is hoping to catch a glimpse of her target. The curtains in the front of the cottage are open. She can see right into what she believes is Sean’s and Janet’s living room. She can see rustic décor through the window. She sits there like she is holding a vigil, desperate to lay eyes on her target. After a few more minutes, Nancy can see no movement, this strikes her as odd.
Nancy needs to take a closer look; she leaves her car and sidles through the grass to the side of the house. Deathly quiet are her surroundings, her senses highly on alert for any movement or sound. Suddenly she hears familiar noises from the house. She crouches down and walks under the window. Slowly rising she peers inside the glass pane. Her eyes cannot believe what she is seeing. Sean and his woman in bed together in the heat of passion. Her vision falters, she has a burning shooting through her chest.
Nancy clenches her fists, blood trickles down her palms from her fingernails digging in her flesh. As she turns away from the window and heads back to her car, she focuses on her true enemy Janet Reynolds.
SEAN LEAVES THE BEDROOM and heads out to the living room, he notices movement out the corner of his eye through the window. A car speeds by outside and he thinks he recognizes the car. He shrugs it off due to the fact he has spent more time than enough working on the whole towns automobiles. He continues through the living room heading into the kitchen, his mind far from the car, he is determined to make things work with Janet. Shoving his one-night of weakness far from his mind, he can’t continue and he determined never let Janet find out. She would leave him for sure. Only if she would move on and snap out of her funk. It is getting old and more and more he’s finding Nancy’s advances at work harder to resist. Conflicting thoughts ravage his mind. This is not about him; everything is about Janet and he will help her move forward if it’s the last thing he does.
“Janet lunch,” he bellows, slamming a pot in the sink.
“Coming,” a distant reply barely noticeable to his ears from the bedroom.
A few minutes of silence, Sean sits at the table waiting for Janet to emerge from the bedroom. Once again he finds the courage to suppress his anger because Janet is acting like a fool. He knows she can’t
help her feelings.
While Sean is lost in his own thoughts Janet walks to the kitchen and sits at the table.
“Sean,"
He looks up from staring at his empty plate, “yeah. We need to talk.”
Janet is silent, “Janet this has to stop. You need help, I no longer know what to say or do to help you.”
A pregnant pause Janet bows her head defeated, “Sean, please I told you I am fine. In fact, I am going tomorrow to see an old friend from high school.”
Sean looks over the table to Janet, “oh really. Wow. OK. What’s her name?”
“Her name...” of course he assumes it’s a woman. “Her name is Denise Zembra.”
Sean smiles at this tremendous news about Janet’s lunch date, “Well then I hope this means you’re almost back to normal then.”
Janet nods her head. Sean lips spread across his face in the widest smile he had in a long time. A genuine smile reaching to his ice-blue eyes. They start eating their lunch, Sean in a much better mood as of hearing about her lunch tomorrow.
Janet searches Sean’s face for any reason of him not believing her story about an old friend. She called Dereck’s law firm and asked to come in and talk to him about Gary. Deceiving Sean was the furthest from her mind, but it can’t be helped. He has forbidden her to even speak Gary’s name in his presence. How could she bring up she was going to visit his lawyer?
She had never kept a secret from Sean before, she feels a bit liberated about having something he knows nothing about. Does this mean their relationship is doomed?
After their awful quiet lunch, Janet rises from her seat. Sean looks up from staring at his plate, “Where are you heading?”
Janet smiles at him, “I am going to pick up something for dinner, and visit Dawn, as well.”
Sean nods but doesn’t say anything in response. Her plans are at least the truth; she needs to fill Dawn in on her plan. She hears Sean’s phone ring and him grumble. Janet swiftly dresses and heads out the cottage door to her car. With a new plan and spring in her step, she hopes her car starts it’s been awhile since she has even tried to turn the engine over. The automobile starts and Janet drives towards Derby, straight to Patty’s Pub, which her best friend Dawn is currently the manager.
CHAPTER FIVE
Parking her car outside the bar, Janet with sheer determination leaves her car unlocked. She walks inside the bar, the door opens on this warm day, which is unusual for February. Dawn is behind the bar serving the few customers when Janet walks in and sits in her usual seat.
“Well as I live and breathe. Janet about time you get your ass in here,” Dawn says as she walks over to Janet. “The usual?”
Janet nods her head and Dawn mixes her a drink, a rum and Diet Pepsi, her favorite. After making this big decision she finds she needs a drink. Dawn sits the drink in front of her on a coaster. Janet gulps it down in one sitting, she pushes the glass towards Dawn, “Another Please.”
“Sure thing. Is everything alright?” Dawn questions as she makes another drink.
“Yes, why are you asking?” Janet retorts.
“Well. I haven’t seen you in months. You show up drinking no less.” Dawn sits the drink back in front of her friend. “Is everything good between you and Sean?
Janet down the next drink before she answers, “Everything is OK I guess. Only I made a decision.”
Raising her eyebrows, “What decision?” Almost knowing what is coming next.
“I am going to do whatever it takes to visit Gary.” Janet replies smiling at her statement.
“Umm Janet, I don’t think that’s best. What did Sean say?” Dawn’s voice crackles a bit.
“Well, he didn’t say anything,” Janet pauses. “I didn’t tell him. You know his thoughts about Gary. I need to do this Dawn. I need this.”
Dawn takes in a deep breath and slowly releases it, “I hope you know what you’re doing. I don’t want to visit you in the hospital again. I couldn’t take it.”
Janet reaches out and puts her hand over her friends’ hand, “Dawn I will be fine. Besides I will have Gary’s lawyer with me always. I see him in the morning.”
Shaking her head, “Janet honey, I hope you know what you’re doin.”
A few minutes later, after Janet finished three drinks, she stands up from the bar stool and heads back out to her car. She didn’t have time to let Dawn she was leaving, but she didn’t want to talk anymore about her plans. As she heads into the grocery store to pick up dinner to make Sean his favorite meal, spaghetti and meatballs with garlic sauce. Janet stops outside and looks around, the strangest feeling she is being watched. She shakes her head and continues walking through the automatic doors. She is being paranoid.
CHAPTER SIX
Nancy Jasper sits outside of the bar watching Janet through the door. She refuses to get a closer look; she may recognize her. Nancy has no clue even if she knows she works with her boyfriend. This is not the time to introduce herself, she will wait and watch her a few days. She feels like a stalker, the urge to slap Janet strong she must suppress her feelings. Nancy eyes Janet the whole way across the street, she is going to the store.
Suddenly Nancy notices Janet stopping, she lays down flat on the seat of the car. Her heart beating franticly, chills radiating through her body as to almost being caught. After a few minutes Nancy rises and adjusts the bag next to her, duct tape and zip ties poking out from the top. As Nancy decides she had enough watching Janet for the day, her phone rings as she is pulling out the space. She pushes a button on her steering wheel, the phone answers and a male voice come out of her car stereo speakers.
“Nancy, we need to talk.” Says the husky male voice she remembers so well.
“About what Sean. You made it clear this morning at the garage. What more could you want?” Nancy answers.
“I need to see you, tonight at the garage. Be there.”
Before she can answer he, the phone goes dead, smiling maybe she is finally getting her way after all.
“I knew he would be crawling back to me.”
She speeds off to her house to prepare for her encounter with Sean O’Malley the love of her life. Suddenly her mood has genuinely improved since she left work to know Janet’s routine during the day. She holds off her plan for the time being. She needs see what Sean has up his sleeve later this evening.
AS SEAN O’MALLEY SITS in his living room waiting on Janet, he come to a decision. If Nancy still works for his company, he will never be able to move on from his deception. All he wants is to forget that night ever happened. He calls Nancy, he plans on firing her tonight to finally be free of the guilt.
Ten minutes after the call, Janet returns humming to herself. Sean smiles as he crosses the living room, to help her carry in groceries. Sean hopes his and Janet’s lives can now get back to normal. He hopes to god getting rid of Nancy is the right thing to do. Maybe him loving her earlier has perked her mood.
“You seem in a good mood. Your talk with Dawn It was a good one? Sean asks his curiosity perked.
Janet smiles, “Yes I did Sean. I feel reborn almost.”
Shaking his head, he hasn’t a clue why a talk with her best friend could result in such a mood change. He shrugs it off, concentrating on his task at hand tonight. As he thinks maybe he should tell Janet about what he did when he didn’t know if she was going to live or die. Even though he can barely live with himself, he cannot bring the courage to come clean. He resists the urge once again. The guilt setting up shop in his stomach as if he swallowed a tape worm.
Sean heads to the bedroom, Janet is sitting on the bed looking at a book. He has never seen this book, it’s a large book what looks to be newspaper clippings. If he wouldn’t have known better, he would think it’s about Gary Anderson. She doesn’t know he’s there, he walks gently into the room and his suspicions are correct. The book is all about Gary and his murderous rampage. He stomps towards the bed, not being able to think straight, he grabs the book out of Janet’s hands.
“What pray tell is this Janet?” the rage in his voice apparent.
Wide-eyed Janet is speechless, chocolate brown eyes darting upward, “Sean...Ummm...”
This is all she could get out when the book suddenly went by her head, she could feel the air barely touching her ear. Janet flinches as Sean grabs her by her arms. His hands digging into her flesh.
“Sean your hurting me.” Janet pleads.
Sean’s grip becomes tighter on Janet’s upper arms; no doubt his grip is going to leave bruises. She can’t fathom he would react this badly to a few newspaper clippings.
“Ummm.... Sean, I can explain...Please...let go...you’re hurting me.” Janet babbled. Panicked she doesn’t know what else to say. Her arms are throbbing and she wants him to let her go.
Sean releases her, she rubs her arms at the red marks, they are going to bruise. He scoffs, leaning up against the wall.
“I am all ears. I cannot wait to hear your side of why you have this scrapbook.” The criticism seething from his voice.
Janet breaths a cleansing breath, the throb in her arms subsiding. She knows she is defeated as she bows her head. She doesn’t know how to explain so he would understand how she feels about her ordeal.
Her voice cracking, “Sean, I love you. I have no closure. The pain and guilt of surviving eats at my soul. I need to face him Sean. I need closure. I believe it’s only then I will be able to be free of it all and move forward. It’s the only way we can move forward, together.” The tears streaming from her eyes. As she looks past Sean, her eyesight blurry from the tears.
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