Anais Eternal

by Paige Graffunder

  "Whatever we find in there—" Etachs started, but I cut them off.

  "She's alive, I know that much and that's all we need."

  "If she is in bad enough shape, you might need to heal her, or we will risk her dying on the way out, and I can't carry you both."

  "Then we give her a peaceful passing into the next life."

  "You mean kill her?" Etachs looked horrified at the prospect.

  "Better than leaving her here in the claws of these people." Etachs appeared to mull this over, the conflict still written clearly on their face. They stood still and silent, searching for an argument to my brutal pragmatism, but eventually they nodded. Etachs took another deep breath and put their terminal away, reaching out for my hand. I laced my fingers together with theirs and slid my wrist in front of the security panel. The door before us slid open and there was no preparation in this world or any other for what we saw.

  The Monster

  Tatiana dangled, suspended from a series of cables sank deep into her flesh. There was no blood, the skin around where they had been thrust into her healed into neat little puckers of scar tissue around them. She was naked, unconscious, limp, lifeless. Her normally golden skin a harsh and ugly pallid sack stretched tight upon her bones. Her form, once lithe and shapely, now gaunt and fragile. I felt my heart shatter as I gazed upon her.

  I made to rush into the room, but Etachs' grip on my hand stopped me short. I turned to look at them, my brows drawn down in barely contained fury. They were keeping me from my sister; this was an inexcusable trespass. And then I saw their face. They were not looking at Tatiana. They were looking at the Himlani perched on a stool in the far corner of the room. They sat looking placidly at the doorway as though they could see us. I checked to be sure that my magic was still shielding us, it was, but by the way their smile curled their lips it seemed like they were able to see us anyway. Then they spoke, they spoke the Himlani language, but where I usually found it harsh to my ears, their voice was lilting and musical, sweet like honey dripping from a comb in the heat of summer.

  "I was wondering how long it would take you to come, much longer than I had anticipated," they said, lifting their hand with an air of unfathomable nonchalance. Their gaze shifting to it, inspecting their claws, as though they were entirely disinterested. I felt my fury rise. I shook my hand loose from Etachs' grip and stepped fully into the room, raising my Rounder. Before I could think too hard about it, I fired in rapid succession at this monster who had done this to my sister. Ignoring the anguished, frantic tugging on the bond between Etachs and I as they tried to stop me, their hands reaching and failing to catch my arm. My aim was true, and all of my shots found their mark, or they should have, except…

  Every shot I fired dropped to the ground an inch from the seated Himlani, clattering uselessly against the metal floor. The corners of their lips pulled up in a smile, as they turned to face me directly.

  "There you are..." they purred and fired from a weapon held in the hand curled against their stomach. I hadn't even noticed, the only thing I had time to think was that I had been more foolish than anyone had a right to be. The projectile pierced my stomach, and I felt my magic falter, as I looked down. Some kind of dart was embedded in my skin. I lifted my hands to it, but I was too weak to grasp it to pull it free. I observed myself sinking to the floor, and then there were clawed hands around me, pulling me back through the doorway as my magic flickered out. I caught a glimpse of Etachs' panicked face as they dragged me from the room, and then everything faded to black.

  There were only glimpses for a while, the floor bouncing in my vision, then Etachs' face pressed close, pink tears cascading down their cheeks as they spoke words, I couldn't hear well enough to comprehend. Pain, terrible gut-wrenching pain. Emptiness as I realized I could not touch my magic. And then what felt like an eternity of nothing. An empty black sea yawning out in all directions. There were no thoughts, no sounds, just nothing. I floated in the void silent, empty, devoid of light and feeling.

  ◆◆◆

  Etachs saw the firearm just as Anais stepped into the room. They tried to grab Ana, but she was too quick, too full of rage. They had tried everything, tugging at the bond, and as the dart penetrated Ana's belly Etachs felt something inside of them break. They darted forward to catch Ana as she sank to the ground, grabbing her with one arm, the other brandishing a dagger at the Himlani, as Ana's magic faded rendering them fully visible. The other hissed at Etachs' sudden appearance, their brows drawing up in surprise before they settled it back into the impassive, neutral expression they had worn before.

  "A traitor..." they cooed, their eyes surveying Etachs' patchwork and mottled scales. "And a defect." The cold emptiness of their musical voice pierced Etachs to their core, and they snarled a response, clutching Anais to their chest.

  "If love is a defect, I don't ever want to be perfect."

  "Love?" purred the other, one eyebrow raising. "You love this creature?"

  Etachs said nothing, but began to slowly back out of the room, dragging Ana's limp body in their arm, the other holding the blade between them and the monster. A cold smile spread across the monster's lips. "Foolish. To love one's food is only asking for pain."

  "You have no idea what pain is yet, but you will," Etachs growled back in reply. "Speak your name, Monster, so I might remember it." The other rose from their stool with all the grace of some terrible, vengeful angel, and raised the dart gun towards Etachs. The blade was free of Etachs' hand before the other knew it had happened, the weapon clattering to the floor as the blade pierced their palm, slamming it back into the wall, pinning it to the immovable surface the hilt splaying their palm flat. The Monster screamed in mingled pain and frustration as black blood poured from the wound.

  Etachs laid Anais on the floor gently and took another blade from their belt, and began to cut the cables suspending Tatiana, cradling Tatiana’s frail frame in their arms as they did. The Monster merely seethed and watched. Once Tatiana was free, the ragged ends of the severed chords and feeds still protruding perversely from her skin, Etachs laid her next to Ana. The Monster reached up to the blade embedded in their palm, and Etachs had another blade through it instantly, pinning their other hand to the wall through their already immobilized wrist. Etachs strode forward and pushed their face into the Monster's.

  "Your name," they snarled. The other looked back coolly, through cruel eyes.

  "Thrixx," they said, their mouth curling into a smile that held no laughter, only brutal ferocity. Etachs withdrew, lifting each Fae over a shoulder, gingerly, stepping to the doorway.

  "Why not kill me now, Defect?" hissed Thrixx.

  Etachs turned back, their eyes full of rage and pain and sadness. "You are not mine to kill, Thrixx, but death is coming, coming like a storm, and you will not weather it." Etachs disappeared through the doorway. Etachs ran, cradling the Fae sisters to them as they sprinted, every muscle screaming, calling over their earpiece to anyone who could hear them.

  They had been met by a blood-smeared and injured Kai; their eyes still alight with battle-induced rage. They looked at Etachs and the Fae and tried to take Ana from their claws, but Etachs had drawn away. Kai had not hesitated, taking Tatiana instead. They made their way back to the bunker, not stopping until they were safely behind the reinforced walls.

  Anais Eternal

  They kept trying to get me to leave her side, but I wouldn't, I couldn't. I would sit here until I knew she was safe. We managed to get the chords from Tatiana's body. She was alive, but completely unresponsive. I held Ana's hand in my own, mindful that my claws did not injure her, and peered at her face, paler than it should be, but peaceful in her state of sleep. I realized I had never seen her fully relaxed before, and the thought made me sad. This was not the natural sleep of someone who was merely tired. This was not even sleep like she experienced after she healed my defected brethren. This was the sleep of the nearly dead from exhaustion.

  I let my eyes wander down her
face, across the graceful curve of her neck to her bare shoulder. We had to cut her shirt off to get to the wound. The dart had been full of something, what we didn't know yet. Cyvlre was working on it in the lab. The sheet was pulled around her chest, tucked around her body, leaving her arms exposed. Cylvre connected a port with nutrients and fluids to her implant wrist, for dispersion to her body to keep her alive, and had done the same for Tati. I knew I shouldn't, but my eyes traveled over the rest of her, the swell of small breasts, the flatness of her belly, the curve of hips below the fabric. I shut my eyes abruptly. I can't do this. I shouldn't do this. I opened my eyes and found I had leaned forward, pressing my brow to hers. I felt her breath puff against my cheeks as she exhaled, slow and even.

  She was alive, that was all that mattered. She would come out of this, just like she had before. Whatever was in that dart didn't kill her. But Tatiana... Tatiana was different. Nothing was keeping Tatiana in her state, but there she was anyway. All her reflexes were active, her eyes open and blinking, but empty. Her gaunt face was a horror to behold, even without the contrast of knowing her glowing, golden features before. I was afraid she would never return. I ran my mental fingers along the bond between Ana and me, letting myself show her all the things I couldn't say to her. Showing her the way my heart had shattered when the dart had claimed her, the frantic, panicked realization that the person you loved most in the world had just been killed in front of you— the second to be claimed by your own people. How many acts of complete destruction could one heart endure?

  I closed my eyes against the tears threatening to spill over my scaled cheeks, and just held her hand. The others had left me to my vigil, all except Ayesha who sat curled up against her neck across from me. Her head was tucked under her wing, but I knew she wasn't asleep. Like me, she would stay here, silent and wakeful, until she rose.

  ◆◆◆

  The first thing I felt was a strumming on my heartstrings, like mournful notes on a long-forgotten instrument. I was floating, submerged in a sea of nothing, I was nothing, everything was nothing. Then, like the creation of anything at all, the strumming, a low vibration of agony. As I felt it, I had nerves to feel it with, its song creating what I had lost. Slowly, I was no longer nothing in a sea of nothing. I was a heart first, each beat spreading arteries and veins out through a shape they seemed to know even if it was a mystery to me. Then I was lungs, and air, and life. Bones followed, muscles, tendons, cartilage, and skin.

  Soon the sea I was in was no longer nothing. It was liquid and moving, a gentle lulling that began to quicken its pace like an excited heartbeat. Soon I was lost in a sea of confusion, noises filtering through the water to my ears, faint but familiar. There was light. I flexed my new limbs and stroked forward towards it. I drew near, and as I did there was pain, there was fear, but that voice... I knew that voice. I pressed on and as my face breached the sea of emptiness, I gasped, my eyes flickering open.

  I stared up at the bare concrete ceiling. At first it was all I was aware of. Then I felt the soft brush of feathers against my neck, Ayesha uncurling from her wing and laying her head against my shoulder. Then warmth... warmth of scales pressed against my cheek... a hand clasping mine gently. I gave the clawed fingers a squeeze and the warmth left as Etachs sat up, eyes shocked, pink rivers of tears marring their face. I blinked in the light, which while not bright, seemed to me like the first light I had ever encountered.

  "Wha—" I started to ask, but before I could finish even the first word Etachs' lips were on mine, their mouth hungry as they kissed me. I stiffened in surprise, not immediately recognizing what was happening, but when their tongue touched my bottom lip in a silent request for permission, I relaxed into the kiss, my lips parting, tongue snaking out to meet theirs, tentatively at first, but with growing enthusiasm. I lifted the hand not held in theirs with a weak and aching arm, curling my fingers into their hair, holding them against me, deepening the kiss. After a moment Etachs pulled away and I let my hand slip from their hair. Breathlessly, I looked up at them.

  "I—" I started, but Etachs shook their head, quieting me.

  "We need to talk about this, but not now." They inclined their head at something behind me. I turned with aching muscles to the side and saw a ghost. No. Not a ghost, my sister's wasted body. I choked out a sob as I reached out to her, fighting my weak muscles to sit up. Ayesha hopped onto my chest, just as Etachs gently pushed me back to the bed.

  "You got her," I sobbed, turning my eyes to Etachs. "You still got her. Oh, Etachs, is she alive? What's wrong with her?" Etachs swiped the backs of their fingers over my cheeks tenderly, clearing the tears from my face. I wrapped my fingers around their wrist, just needing to have them close.

  "Of course, I got her, and to answer your second question, we don't know. Cylvre says, other than malnutrition, which we are correcting, there is nothing wrong with her. Brain activity and vital functions are all relatively normal, but she is completely unresponsive other than reflexive action."

  I frowned. "I don't understand."

  Etachs looked at Ayesha, who looked back with her piercing black eyes. After a moment she launched herself from my chest and alighted at the foot of the bed Tatiana was lying on. As her talons scratched across my skin, I realized that aside from a sheet, I was completely naked. Despite the situation, I felt my cheeks heat. Pushing myself into a sitting position, one hand securing the sheet to my chest, I lowered my gaze, and took a deep shuddering breath in an effort to collect myself. Etachs placing a steadying hand on my back.

  "I don't know how else to explain it," said Etachs. "Physically there is nothing wrong with her at all, but aside from reflexive action she doesn't respond. We have tried everything aside from putting implants in to interface with her directly." My eyes shot up to their face, but they stroked my back reassuringly. "We would never do that without her consent; you know that." I relaxed into their touch and nodded, my eyes still fixed on Tatiana's gaunt, hollowed out face. "Anyway, nothing has worked."

  I leaned against Etachs as I let their words bounce around in my head. I reached into my magic, and felt it answer. I exhaled a deep breath of relief. That dart had acted as a siphon for my gift, I had felt it pour out of me, spiraling out like a draining sink. I had been deeply concerned that it wouldn't come back, that it had burned out of me completely. I let its whispers fill my mind and felt happily wrapped in its embrace, relishing the feeling for a short while before getting to the task at hand.

  I ran my hands in my mind’s eye along the threads connecting my communion. I found the one leading me to Tati and ran its silken length through my fingers, the chord the same blue as her eyes, speckled with green. I began to follow it, hand over hand, walking down a hallway inside myself, following it like breadcrumbs out of myself and into my sister’s mind. The hallway descended further than it had before; she had gotten so far away from me in these months we had been separated. After what seemed like an eternity, I found myself faced with a large, ornately carved ebony wood door that was not there before. I put my mental hands to it, and quickly drew back, cradling them to my chest. It was colder than ice, so cold it burned. Frowning, I dug deeper inside myself, summoning heat from my Fae magic. My hands warmed and I pressed them against the door.

  The door held firm for a moment and then it shimmered, melting beneath my magic, wavering in unreality before turning liquid and splashing down around my feet. Through the door there was a huge library. It was packed to the brim with shelves; they were labeled, but disorderly as though someone or something had gone rifling through them without regard for where to put things away. I walked among the shelves, trailing my fingers along the labels. Edible plants, maps of woods, names of people we had known, a small model of our pod home that was incomplete. Boxes spilled over the floor about our parents and then a large shelf with no labels, but with a sticky place on the metal where a label had been removed. There was nothing spilled, but there were clear spots in the dust on the shelves as though a large amount o
f boxes had been dragged off of it in a hurry.

  I looked down and at my feet I could see wheel tracks through the grimy floor. I followed them through the labyrinthine twist of disorderly shelves, down, down, down until I found the cart, dumped over, next to an antique steamer trunk. There was a large and complicated lock on the front, but the thread was sticking out of the corner. I tugged on the lock, but it did not budge. I sat on the floor in front of it and stared at it, frowning. There were all the letters of the Fae alphabet on it, great and small letters. The lock was niggling at a memory, but I couldn't place it. Something from when I was small. A song half remembered with words I couldn't place.

  A melody, lilting and soft, floated through the hazy parts of my mind where things in the time before lived. A voice singing words that I couldn't make out. Like I was trying to listen to them through four feet of water. I closed my eyes, wrapping the thread around my fingers, laying my hands on the lid of the box. It vibrated beneath my palms. I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against it. Through the rough and ragged leather, I heard something so quiet I wasn’t sure if it was real. As I sat there leaned against the trunk buried in the bottom of my sister’s mind, I realized it was the same melody that the lock called to mind.

  My brows furrowed as I dug deeper into my memory than I ever had before. I had left these memories to the haze of the past long before. I didn't want a clearer picture of what my life could have been if the world had not ended. Remembering meant missing, and missing meant pain, and pain meant discontent. I couldn't be sorry about things I barely remembered. I couldn't miss the life I would have had if I didn't remember what it was like. But it looked like I was going to have to sink into those memories. There was only one person in the known universe that could make me even try, and she was inside that box.