The Right Way

by Ashey, Katie

  “What the hell is going on in here?” Martin bellowed as Evelyn grabbed me by the shoulders.

  Sidestepping away from me, Jonathan replied, “She’s a fucking psycho, that’s what.”

  “Tell them what you said!” I shrieked.

  Fear momentarily flashed in Jonathan’s eyes before he averted his gaze to the floor. When he remained silent, I stepped forward to jab my finger at him. “Go on. Tell them how you think I’m a money grubbing slut who is exploiting the baby for money.”

  A strangled gasp erupted from Evelyn as she brought both of her hands to her face. “Jonathan, you didn’t really say that, did you?”

  Jerking his chin up defiantly, he replied, “I did.”

  “What?” She shook her head in disbelief. “How could you be so . . . cruel?” she questioned in an agonized whisper.

  “Come on, Mom. You know her reputation and how she—”

  “Don’t. Do not insult the mother of Jake’s child,” Martin growled. I’d never seen him look so . . . fierce . . . for me. “You said it for your own selfish reasons.”

  Throwing up his hands, Jonathan shouted, “I don’t need this bullshit.” He then ran out of the bedroom door and down the stairs. At the sound of a door slamming, Evelyn asked Martin, “Aren’t you going to go after him?”

  With a furious shake of his head, Martin replied, “The way I feel at the moment I’ll just make it worse.”

  Noah stepped forward. “I’ll go.”

  “Thank you, honey,” Evelyn replied.

  “I don’t know if I can do any good.”

  “At least you’re willing to try.”

  As Noah started out of the bedroom, the adrenaline started to fade, and I found myself free-falling to the point where I could no longer stand. With Jonathan’s words echoing in my ears, I collapsed down onto the bed. Although I swore I wouldn’t cry, the tears began to flow, and I couldn’t make them stop. Just like I couldn’t stop hearing Jonathan’s words on repeat. Much like my mother’s if I was honest.

  Jesus, after all the guys you’ve spread your legs for, aren’t you lucky the one who knocked you up got killed?

  Aren’t you lucky the Nelson’s don’t mind babysitting you, Presley? Better them than me.

  Aren’t you lucky?

  Well, right now, I didn’t feel lucky. I felt burned. Hated.

  And the tears fell.

  Chapter Five: Jonathan

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I sprinted as fast as I could from the shit show I’d just created along with my parents’ disapproval. The faster I ran the more I realized I couldn’t shrug it away. It clung to me like a second skin.

  “How could you be so cruel?”

  “For your own selfish reasons.”

  Their words continued echoing in my ears as I flung open the front door and raced out onto the porch. It was bad enough they couldn’t see through Presley, but then for them to attack me when I was just trying to help?

  Sure, I could’ve handled the situation in a better way, but at the same time, it had to be said. Even though I’d pissed my parents off, I didn’t regret confronting Presley. She might’ve had my parents snowed, but she sure as hell didn’t me.

  After digging the Jeep’s keys out of my pocket, I hopped inside. Before I could slam the door, someone grabbed it. It was Noah. “What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to get out of here.”

  “What, were you just going to leave me stranded?”

  “No. I knew you’d get a ride back with Maddie.”

  “Yeah right. You weren’t thinking of me at all. You were too busy being a selfish asshole.”

  I rolled my gaze to stare at the ceiling of the car. “Fabulous. I can now add you to the list of people I’ve pissed off and who hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you. I’m just calling you out for being a jackass.”

  Something spiteful twisted within me at him calling me a jackass. Tilting my head, I chided, “Careful, Noah. With all the cursing you’re doing, you’re going to owe Maddie a fortune to her Cuss Can with all your profanity.”

  Noah’s face darkened to an almost maroon color. I knew it was a low blow, yet I’d let it fly. Punching my shoulder, Noah growled, “Don’t you dare fucking mock Maddie. Not only is she my girlfriend, but you know how much she meant to Jake.”

  “It’s still lame to ask someone to give money every time they cuss.”

  Jerking his chin at me, Noah commanded, “Go on. Crank the car.”

  “So now you’ll let me leave?”

  “You’re not going anywhere.”

  “I’m not?”

  “No. I told you to turn on the car so we wouldn’t sweat our asses off in this heat. The two of us are going to sit here and have a rational conversation on how to get your head out of your ass.”

  “You’re outta line, man.”

  Noah’s dark brows shot up into his hairline. “I’m out of line? You’re the one who just went off on the mother of your dead brother’s baby!”

  Red streaked across my vision. “It’s. Not. Jake’s. Baby,” I bit out.

  “Yeah, it sure as hell is his baby.”

  “And how can you be so sure,” I challenged.

  “Because I heard it from Jake himself.”

  Furrowing my brows, I replied, “What the fuck are you talking about? Presley started making her claims about the baby after Jake was killed.”

  Noah didn’t reply. Instead, he stalked around the front of the Jeep. After jerking open the door, he climbed inside before turning to me with an intense look. “It’s past time you heard the whole story involving the ring.”

  Throwing my hands up, I replied, “What else is there to say? Jake pawned his baseball cards to buy Maddie a ring because for reasons I cannot begin to fucking understand, he wanted to get engaged at eighteen. Then he got his dumbass blown up before he could give it to her.”

  “There’s a lot more to it.”

  “Fine. Enlighten me.”

  “In Jake’s suitcase from the farm, your mom found a notebook. Inside, there was a letter he’d written to Maddie sometime between the time he hung up with Presley and the time he was killed.”

  Holy fucking hell. My mouth dropped open so far it must’ve banged against my knees. In the last hours of his life, Jake had taken the time to write a letter? The fact it was one of the last things he did was surprising enough, but he could barely form coherent sentences when he was texting me. Not to mention the fact he’d met Maddie because he needed a tutor to help him pass some of his classes.

  “Shocking that Jake wrote a letter, isn’t it?” Noah remarked in my silence.

  A laugh bubbled from my lips. “I was trying to think which one I was more blown away about—that or my mom not telling me about the letter.”

  “Considering the contents of what he wrote, I think your mom wanted to limit the people who knew.”

  “Why? What did it say?”

  “Since it was addressed to Maddie, the full contents are not for me to reveal.”

  “Then why even bother telling me about it?”

  “Because there are a few lines that I read aloud to Presley because they concerned her.”

  I sucked in a breath. “What did Jake say?”

  “He told Maddie that Presley was pregnant, and he knew it was his.”

  Holy shit. As the air wheezed from my body, I gasped, “He did?”

  Noah nodded. “He also told her that for once in his life, he was going to do the right thing. He planned to support Presley by being a father to his child.”

  Turning my gaze from Noah, I stared out the windshield. Even though I couldn’t believe it, I knew it had to be true. Noah wasn’t one to bullshit. Mom had mentioned Jake’s transformation, and I’d seen some evidence of it, despite being at college. But plans to support Presley? Doing the right thing? What the fuck? She didn’t deserve anything from us. Yet, if the words were true . . . could I really argue with my dead brother?


  No. I wouldn’t. I had to face the facts. Regardless of how I felt about her, Presley was having Jake’s baby. Even though he was dead, there was going to be a living, breathing part of Jake here on earth. Sure, Jason and I were parts of him, but when it came to his child, it was even more specific DNA. A shudder ran through me.

  “I can’t believe it.” At Noah’s frustrated grunt, I held up my hands. “I do. It’s just so fucking incredible.”

  “I know. I was completely floored myself when I read the letter.”

  “You’ve known all this time, and you didn’t think to tell me?”

  “I didn’t think I would have to. I thought Presley’s word would’ve been enough.”

  The mention of Presley sent thundering remorse crashing down on me for the things I’d said to her. Jesus, I really was an unimaginable bastard. If Jake was alive, he would’ve beaten my ass.

  “I know Mom knows, but what about Dad?”

  “Yeah, she told him. Your mom knew about the letter even before she asked me to find the girl the ring belonged to.”

  “Why would she ask you to find the girl if she already knew the ring was for Maddie?”

  A shadow of a smile played on Noah’s lips. “Somehow she saw it would be better for me in the long run. Like, I had some questions of my own to figure out in life—questions that helped me see through to the future.”

  Peering curiously at him, I asked, “Did you figure them out?”

  A far-away look came over his face. “Yeah. I did.”

  As I stared intently at him, I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous at his peaceful expression. I wanted that same peace. I didn’t want to wake up from nightmares in a sweat or freak out at loud noises in broad daylight. “I sure as hell wish I could figure my shit out,” I lamented.

  “You mean how not to be an asshole to people?” he jokingly asked.

  “Well, there’s that.”

  “Here’s a suggestion. Think long and hard before you open that fucking mouth of yours.”

  “Har fucking har,” I grumbled.

  Noah’s laughter faded slightly. “I’m sorry, bro. You want to talk about it?”

  Unease pricked itself along my spine. “I thought we just did?”

  “I think we both know there’s more going on.” At my continued hesitation, Noah’s amused expression became grave. “Okay, man, let’s go balls to the wall on the transparency.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll pass.”

  Shaking his head, Noah said, “You’re my dorm-mate. I see a lot you don’t think I do.” He stared pointedly at me. “I hear a lot more than you think.”

  Heat rushed over me at his words, and I immediately ducked my head. “You’ve heard the nightmares.”

  “Yeah, I have.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I don’t know. I guess because I thought it wasn’t right for me to pry when you’re grieving. And since I know you as well as I do, I knew it was the last thing on earth you would want to talk about since it…”

  “Since it what?”

  Giving me a sheepish look, Noah said, “It might make you feel weak.”

  “Jesus Christ,” I grunted. Although I scoffed at the insinuation, I knew there was truth in what he said. It was the same reason I’d balked at the idea of therapy. If I hadn’t been losing my fucking mind on the field, I would’ve never, ever gone.

  “Trust me, I get it. I had to sort through a lot of my own shit when it comes to talking about my feelings and emotions. Especially about how my dad left and losing my grandfather.”

  “Man, this conservation has taken a real estrogen turn.”

  Scowling, Noah replied, “That’s a total avoidance comment.”

  With a sigh, my head fell back against headrest. “You want the truth?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  “As of this week, I’m not avoiding my feelings anymore.”

  Noah creased his brows at me in confusion. “What does that mean?”

  I exhaled a noisy breath. “I’m seeing a therapist.”

  While he appeared momentarily taken aback, a pleased expression came over his face. “Dude, that’s awesome.”

  I snorted. “Now that’s pretty fucking surreal hearing you praise me for yacking up my issues to a shrink.”

  “Seriously, I think it’s the best thing you could possibly do.” He thumped me on the back. “And I’m proud of you man.”

  “You can save the pride. I didn’t willingly go. You could say I went kicking and screaming.” I then filled Noah in on what had happened at practice and Coach’s demand.

  “He was right to mandate you go.”

  “Yeah, I can see that now.”

  “You can?”

  Nodding, I replied, “I’ve only had the nightmare once since I started therapy this week. It was every night before that.”

  “How often do you go?”

  “Well, it was just the one time this past week. But I’m supposed to go three times next week.”

  “Holy shit, three times.”

  “Tell me about it.” Although I wouldn’t admit it, I was actually glad I was going so much next week. If one session had lessened the nightmares, I wondered if seeing Ziegler would do even more.

  “Let me guess. You’re working at an accelerated pace so you won’t miss too much practice?” Noah asked.

  “You know me too well, bro.”

  He grinned. “Damn straight.”

  “I just hope it’s going to keep working.”

  “It will. Keeping shit all bottled up inside is never good. I’m sure once you get rid of all the shit, your head will be completely back in the game. Then you can get your ass back to doing what you love.”

  “Oh, I’m still hooking up regularly with hot chicks,” I teased.

  Rolling his eyes, Noah said, “Football. I was talking about football.”

  I laughed. “I know. I just had to ride you for a minute.”

  “That was totally something Jake would’ve said,” Noah mused.

  “Yeah, it was.”

  The funny memory of Jake began to fade as the acrid smell of smoke filled my nostrils. The sound of the explosion jolted through me. “Jake? Jake, where are you?”

  “Jonathan?”

  I swung my gaze to Noah who stared at me with wide eyes. Fuck, I was so damn sick of that look

  Reaching for the water bottle in the console, I unscrewed the lid and downed a few long gulps. When I finished, I turned to Noah. “Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t apologize. You can’t help it.”

  I brought my hand over my face. “How about a subject change?”

  “Okay.”

  “What happens now?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was wrong about Presley. I have to go inside and apologize, right?”

  Noah’s forehead creased in thought. “While I know it’s the obvious thing to do, I’m not sure it’s the best thing at the moment.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I don’t think you’re in the right place mentally and emotionally to apologize.” He shook his head. “There’s still shit you have to work out in therapy before you get anywhere near Presley again. And I’m not just saying that for Presley’s sake. I mean it for yours.” He jerked his chin at me. “Take a look at your face.”

  Leaning forward, I peered at my image in the rearview mirror. “Motherfucker,” I muttered at the angry red scratches that lined my cheeks. “She really went off on me, didn’t she?”

  Noah nodded. “But you totally deserved it.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m aware of that.”

  “Look, why don’t you just go back to Atlanta for now? Maybe your doctor can give you some tips on how to handle the apology.”

  “After the way I acted, I’m pretty sure it’s going to have to involve an epic gesture.”

  “I would agree.”

  “That covers Presley, but what about Mom and Dad?”

&
nbsp; “I’ll try and smooth things over to buy you some time.”

  “You’re not going to tell them about me getting benched, are you?”

  “God no.” When I exhaled in relief, Noah added, “Oh don’t even think you’re getting off that easy. You’re the one who needs to tell them.”

  With a grunt, I said. “How you of all people can say that is beyond me. You know what a giant asshole my dad is when it comes to football.”

  “Yes, I’m aware of that. But at the same time, they deserve to know why you were benched. I think they would get where you’re coming from.”

  “Once again, you should know my dad better than to say that.”

  “Come on, Jonathan. The man might be an asshole, but he just lost his son. He’s grieving just like you are.”

  “Don’t forget my dad is like the poster child for not expressing emotion because it’s weak and womanly.”

  “Trust me, I’m aware of how emotionally stunted your dad is.”

  “Then you should get that there is no way in hell he’s going to give me a grief pass for getting benched.”

  Sighing, Noah replied, “You’re probably right.”

  “I know I am.”

  “At least you know your mom will understand.”

  “I hope so. She’s so obsessed with the baby. In her eyes, I was attacking the baby by going off on Presley.”

  “You’re still her son. I know she’s worried about you.”

  Great. There was another thing for me to add to the ever-growing list of things I felt guilty about. “Maybe I could call her when I get back home.”

  “I think that would be a good idea. Tell her what you’re going through.” At my hesitation, Noah added, “Even though she deserves your total honesty, you can hold off about football for the moment.”

  I exhaled a relieved breath. “Okay. I’ll talk to her tonight.”

  “Good.”

  I cocked my brows at him. “We good?”

  Noah smiled. “Yeah, man.”

  “Good.” Jerking my thumb at the door, I replied, “Now get out of my Jeep, so I can get the hell out of here.”

  “Fine. I’m going.”

  As he reached for the doorknob, I grabbed his shoulder. When he turned back to look at me, I said, “Thanks, Noah.”