Julia

by Marty Sorensen

  *

  When Julia opened her eyes in the morning, Hugh’s side of the bed was empty. She listened, but his bathroom door stood open and no sound came from it. She didn’t check the time, she just took a shower and got dressed in a beige slacks and a cream blouse. Without makeup or jewelry she went out to the dining room. Lizzie sat alone eating oatmeal. She looked up when she saw her mother, spoon still in mouth, but didn’t react. Julia went to her and put a long kiss on her forehead and hugged her tight, having to be careful about cereal and milk and spoon.

  “How’s my baby today? Are you doing all right?”

  Lizzie nodded without missing a spoonful.

  Julia looked around the room and saw toast and coffee on the sideboard. She took a piece and began it eat it dry.

  Lizzie dropped her spoon and said, “Mommy, today my pony.”

  Julia frowned but then raised her eyebrows. She spoke in a cartoon-serious kind of voice. “A pony? Hmm. I didn’t know about this. When did this happen?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “Yesterday when.”

  “Yesterday Daddy told me.”

  “Oh, he must not have been busy.”

  “I don’t know. He said.”

  “And he said he would get it today?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You know, Honey, he forgot to tell me. But I haven’t seen him yet. He got up before me. I was a lazybones today.”

  Lizzie laughed. “Lazybones,” she said to herself. Then she volunteered, “The Park.”

  “Oh, I see, you’re going to ride the ponies in Central Park.”

  “No, my pony. In the park.”

  “Okay, if Daddy said that.”

  “Where is Daddy?”

  “I don’t know. He must be at work. I’ll go see if I can find him. You’ll wait here for Mary, okay?”

  Lizzie nodded and dipped her spoon in the oatmeal.

  Julia walked down the hall to Hugh’s office. She heard his voice behind the closed door. She started to knock, and then held her hand back. Down the hall a sound of footsteps disturbed her. Then she knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. She knew that inside Hugh talked to someone on the phone, and that he waited for his checks. Maybe he talked to the fire marshal, or-she realized she had just made up excuses for herself. She wasn’t sure if she hesitated just because it would be an unpleasant scene to talk to Hugh, or because she didn’t want to talk to him at all.

  “Mommy!” Lizzie ran down the hallway to her mother and opened the door to Hugh’s office. She stood with the door open, watching her father.

  Hugh sat at his desk, listening to his phone. He put his hand up for Lizzie to stop. Then he motioned her to leave the room.

  “My pony,” she said, loud.

  He shook his head and tightened his lips, pointing to the phone, but smiling.

  Lizzie stood still.

  Hugh noticed Julia standing in the doorway. He became serious as he moved his eyes down to his desk.

  Lizzie looked back at her mother. Julia put her hand on the child’s shoulder and pulled her out of the room, closing the door. She knelt down and ran her hand over Lizzie’s hair. “Darling, you can see that Daddy’s very busy. Now is not the time to talk to him about the pony.”

  “He promised.”

  “Of course he did, Lizzie. But can’t you see he’s got things on his mind.”

  Lizzie looked at the door, barely restraining herself from running back into Hugh’s office. More footsteps came from down the hallway.

  Lizzie turned as Grace came around the corner. She ran to her grandmother and grabbed her hand. “My pony. I want my pony.”

  Grace smiled down to the child with a face of bewilderment. “Oh my, a pony. I don’t know about a pony. Is it in your room?”

  “No, it’s in the park.”

  Grace frowned and looked at Julia. “Do you know what this is about?”

  Lizzie turned back to watch and listen to her mother, her eyes opened wide in anticipation.

  Julia sighed. “Elizabeth said that Hugh promised her a pony today.”

  Grace leaned down to speak to Elizabeth. “Sweetheart, your father meant a stuffed pony. I’m sure. Why don’t you go down to your room and see if that’s what he meant.”

  Lizzie ran back to her mother. “No. A real pony. He said a real pony.”