Julia

by Marty Sorensen

  *

  Julia opened the door to Lizzie’s room and found her little girl listening to Mary read her The Poky Little Puppy.

  She went over to them and sat next to them on the bed. “Listen, Honey, I want you to go out with me, for a walk. Okay?”

  Lizzie looked at Mary, but Mary was looking at Julia. Lizzie nodded.

  “Let’s get your coat on.”Julia helped her put on her coat, then smoothed it out, and said, “Why don’t you take your teddy bear? It can keep you company while I shop?”

  Lizzie nodded and looked around the room. She picked up her bear, but then hesitated. She picked up her Raggedy Ann and held it, too.

  “Oh, my, that’s a lot to carry,” Mary said.

  “No, that’s fine,” Julia said. “I’ll help her. It’ll be fun.”

  Lizzie smiled and hugged the dolls tight.

  Julia led her out of the room. “We’ll be back in just-“

  Mrs. Willow came up the stairs. “Mrs. Stuart-“ she stopped, surprised, as if she caught them, “there’s a man on the phone, from a travel agency. He needs to speak to you. In the library.”

  Julia’s heart almost stopped. At first she thought it was Grace. She feared her face gave her away. But she smiled and said, “Oh-“ and motioned Mary to come closer. She whispered, “it’s a surprise for my husband. I’m planning a trip for us. Please don’t tell him, it will ruin the surprise.” She waited, looking back and forth between the two women.

  Mary smiled broadly and nodded. Mrs. Willow said, without whispering, “I understand.”

  “Sweetheart, stay her for a minute. I won’t be long.” Julia went into the library and picked up the phone.

  “Yes?”

  “Mrs. Stuart?”

  “Yes.”

  “This is Mr. Halliday, from Algonquin Travel.”

  “Yes, what is it about? I’m ready to go out the door.”

  “Well, you know, the SS Washington is leaving today. We didn’t actually hear back from you, and there is an opportunity to sell your stateroom if you are not going to make the trip. It’s possible her sister ship, the SS Manhattan, will be leaving next week or so, although not guaranteed, but, you see, I’m under some pressure from my management here, there are many people who-“

  “No, Mr. Halliday, you may not-” She caught herself before she said ‘sell my stateroom’. She looked around the room and lowered her voice. “As I said, I’m about to go out the door. Thank you.” She hung up and went back out in the hallway.

  Lizzie stood between Mary and Mrs. Willow, looking unhappy. She looked up at Julia with pleading in her eyes.

  “Come on, Darling, we’ve got shopping to do. Give me one of your dolls to carry.”

  Lizzie compared the two and handed her mother the teddy bear. Together they went out the door and turned right up toward 76th.

  “We’re going up the street a couple of blocks, Honey.”

  Lizzie looked up but said nothing.

  When they reached 77th, Julia turned right and they walked down to Madison, where they got in a cab.

  “Pier 86.” Julia turned to Lizzie and handed her back the bear. “Darling, guess what. I decided to go for a ride on a boat. Would you like that?”

  Lizzie nodded. An adventure.

  They entered the cavernous Pier through a large door but took five minutes to get inside the walls. Julia took the bear back and held on to Lizzie and warned her to not move away. “I can’t carry you-you need to hold on to me. You’ll get lost.” She pulled Lizzie close and forced her to look up. “Do you understand me?”

  Lizzie nodded, looking around, unhappy at a dark forest of coats and legs pressing in on her. She moved in closer to her mother, facing her, making it hard for Julia to move. Julia took hold of the sleeve of Lizzie’s coat.

  They raised their heads as a voice came over a loudspeaker. “Passengers with who have purchased passage please move to your left and through the gate.”

  Julia pulled Lizzie along with the group of people moving to the left. They finally arrived at a picket fence, with people moving inside a gate and others crowded. Once inside the gate, Julia gave their passenger voucher to a man in a maritime uniform under the sign of “Bursar”.

  “Your luggage, Madam? Did you send it on ahead?”

  Julia looked down at Lizzie. “Yes, it’s already on board, they tell me.”

  “Oh, I see, you have a luxury cabin. Of course. Please, follow this gentleman.”

  “Come on, Lizzie, it’s a really big boat, you’ll see. We’re going on board now.”

  Lizzie frowned. “What about Daddy? Where’s Daddy?”

  Julia understood that Lizzie could tell this was not a little boat around the East River. It loomed huge and black above them.

  “Later, Sweetheart. Let’s get on board first.” They followed the man up to the edge of the pier.

  “You have a choice,” he said, “people like to walk up the gangplank, or you can go inside here and take an elevator.”

  Julia smiled at Lizzie. “Oh, let’s walk up the gangplank, it’s not very high up there.”

  They walked hand in hand up the gangplank, Lizzie looking down at the water and out at the crowds in the pier.

  “May I see your voucher, please?”

  Julia handed him her voucher. She spoke down to Lizzie. “Nice uniform on the man, huh?”

  “I see, please follow me just down the Boat Deck. It’s not far for your accommodations.”

  They followed him just a few feet, when he opened a door and ushered them in. Inside the hallway, he opened another door, and held it open for them to enter the stateroom. “Your luggage, Madam? It does not appear to have arrived.”

  She waved him off. “Oh no, that’s fine. We’ll get whatever we need on the ship or in France-“ She looked down at Lizzie, but the little girl was trying to reach up to look out a porthole.

  The steward picked up a small table and brought it over to Lizzie. “Here you are, Miss, you can use this to see out the porthole.” Then he turned back to Julia. “If you’d like me to point out the amenities on the , I can-“

  “No, that won’t be necessary. I’ve read the brochure, and we do have plenty of time.”

  “Thank you, Madam. I’ll be available on the intercom anytime during the voyage.”

  “Well, maybe one thing. Lizzie, shall we have a treat?”

  Lizzie stepped down from the table and nodded.

  “Okay, how about a chocolate soda? Or would you like strawberry? Oh, I know, we’ll get both and we can have some of each.” She turned to the steward. “If you wouldn’t mind?”

  “Certainly, Madam, I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Lizzie, Darling, why don’t we go up to the deck and watch when the ship leaves the pier for the trip-around New York? Lots of people are there, and we can try out the deck chairs. And, they have a pool, that would be great to see. And-“

  But she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  “Wow, that was fast, wasn’t it, Darling.” Then she spoke louder. “Please come in.”

  The response was a louder knock. Julia went to the door and opened it. A man in a uniform with gold braid on the cuffs and shining ornaments on his shoulder stood outside.

  “Mrs. Stuart?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mrs. Julia Stuart?” The man looked around her, and smiled when he saw Lizzie. “I’m First Officer Allen. Would you please remain here for-“

  Before the man could finish his sentence, Hugh appeared behind him. “That’s her, that’s my little girl.”

  “Daddy! Daddy!” Lizzie ran to Hugh and he picked her up.

  Behind him two uniformed policemen, one with blue sergeant’s stripes, stood, their arms across their chests.

  “Obviously, this is my daughter. As you can plainly see, my wife has attempted kidnapping. I’m leaving now with Elizabeth.”

  Julia moved forward, but the first office blocked her way. “I’m sorry, but they have a warrant.” />
  “But I’m not going to leave my daughter,” she said in panic.

  “We can’t keep you on this ship, Ma’am, but you will have to pick up your belongings before you-“

  Hugh appeared again behind the officer. “Please, let me talk to my wife alone.”

  The office nodded and backed out of the way. Hugh closed the door. He glared at Julia and maintained the intensity of it, not moving his head as he spoke, eyes fixed on her. “You stay on this ship. If you attempt to leave, as soon as you are onshore, I will have you arrested and then I will have you declared criminally insane and you will be locked up for the rest of your life. Stay in this room. Don’t cross me, Julia. You know I will do it.”

  Not giving her a chance to reply, Hugh turned quickly around and left, banging the door behind him.

  Julia turned the knob, and intended to pull the door open, but then let it go and fell back on chair in hysterical tears. Her head in her hands, she rocked back and forth, sick and heavy with the knowledge of what she had done. Would she never see her little Lizzie ever again? She wiped the tears from her face and looked around the room. Nothing. Lizzie had left nothing. Everything of hers had been taken with her.

  The sound of a crowd, from outside, grew. The ship was getting ready to leave. She stood, wiped her face again, and went to the porthole to look out on the pier. The window looked out on the pier below where people were waving to the ship. She left her stateroom and went up to the Boat Deck filled with passengers looking and waving, but Julia could not get close to the railing and could not see anything beyond them except the high windows of the pier. They were making it impossible for her to get a chance to see her daughter being taken away.

  The passengers crowded the railing, waving and yelling, and she could not force her way. They were saying goodbye, all these people, but there was no confetti, no cheering and exaggerated screaming, no people leaning dangerously over the railing to wave a handkerchief or throw a roll of bright red confetti. No band on the pier playing jazzy music. She remembered when she and Hugh had left on the honeymoon on the Normandie, bound for Paris then, too. She felt him at her side, smiling, waving to his sister and parents. Then she shook the image away.

  Finally, standing between two people, she stood on her toes to look down at the pier, and saw the policemen and Hugh, carrying Lizzie out beyond the white picket fence. She had a glimpse for one second and then they disappeared around a wall and took Julia’s world with them.

  Her world became dizzy as it seemed the whole wall of the pier shifted to her right, then she understood it was the ship leaving. She stood high again, knowing it was in vain, that she would not see anyone down below waving to her. The ship moved past the pier and into the channel. She stepped out of the way of people leaving the railing and let them past, then went back and leaned on it, holding it tight with both hands, looking at the skyline floating past in a bad dream, falling ever far away until the Statue of Liberty appeared small, then larger. People gathered again around her, pointing and exclaiming, as they passed the statue, waving to people on the island. Then they broke up in different directions, leaving her alone.

  Julia walked along the railing of the Boat Deck until she reached the end of it, stopped by a gate with a sign that read “Danger: Ship Personnel Only.” Beyond the gate were several sailors putting things into a large, square hold using giant cranes that leaned out from a mast. Beyond them lay the open sea, and there was nothing beyond the open sea.

  She walked back along the Boat Deck, lost in her thoughts, oblivious to the people she passed, and entered her stateroom. In the middle of the sitting room on a coffee table was a dish with two sodas on it, one light brown, one pink, with outsized straws sticking out the top, neat white napkins next to them. Julia picked up the chocolate shake and sipped, imagining Elizabeth enjoying the taste. Then she sat in a chair and put her head down, putting her hands over her eyes so that everything was black. After a moment she sat back up and felt the loneliness creep into her bones.

  Next to her on a side table was a telephone and a brochure. She opened it and noted the number for the Communications Office. How to send a cable.