by Jennise K
“Don’t worry, Riv. We’re taking care of them nicely. They’re nicer to Letty as well now. She is their only grandchild after all. She stays over at theirs during the weekends sometimes. Aunt Prue and I think it’s a good idea because it takes their mind off…the pressure. We’re actually having a gathering at our new place tonight. Everyone will be there. Even Romanov’s cousin and friends from America. I’ll make sure Uncle and Aunty have a nice time, so don’t worry. I think everything is working out nicely, Riv. Time does heal the harshest of wounds after all, right?”
Every night, I pray that that’s true.
I try to smile at the picture on the gravestone as I feel the familiar wretched pain of guilt bubble in my chest.
“I hope you’re having a nice rest, Riv,” I whisper as I try to stand back on my feet, letting the knee-length dress glide against my legs as I get up. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
Not being able to look at the smiling boy in the picture anymore, I turn around and begin walking away.
Two months and they had just told us that his case has turned cold last night. The grave is empty save some of the things they retrieved from his car and his favourite things. The police says that there is nothing they can do at the moment except rule this case as an accident.
Mr. and Mrs. Welshnit are devastated. Of course, they don’t know who to blame except the system. But I know all this is my fault. And every day I spend trying to make it up to them silently.
My pace increases, and Romanov’s grip on my hand tightens.
“Sweet dreams, Riv.”
“Let’s go home?” Romanov smiles at me as I slide into the passenger’s seat. His hand finds mine on my lap and gives it a tight squeeze.
Despite my red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, I smile back at my soulmate. Once again, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have him in my life. Through these past few months, I had settled into a very dark space of guilt—the guilt of ruining so many lives, of being the cause for so many tears. I felt that my mum, River, Sophia, Jaydin, Mr and Mrs. Welshnit would have been better off if I didn’t exist.
Sometimes I still think that. But then Romanov reminds me that people’s fates are only in their own hands. No one else’s. Their emotion, their decision, their fate.
That gets to me every time. How can I disagree just because guilt gnawed at me?
Still, the guilt continues to tear at my conscience sometimes. After all, they all died or had their lives turned upside down because of me one way or another.
“Let’s go home.” I nod, curling my finger around Romanov’s.
“How much chaos do you think Gran Liz and Aunt Meryl are causing right now?” Romanov’s soft voice flutters around the silent vehicle, and I turn towards him.
“Last I heard, they were planning on preparing twelve different types of dishes.”
Romanov blinks. “What?”
“Twelve. Twelve dishes,” I reply, drawling out the words, then immediately grin when Romanov’s eyes snap towards me in a glare.
“I know what you meant. I just couldn’t believe it. What are they making?”
“Everything. Trust me. They couldn’t decide, so they’re making everything they can. Grandma Liz is determined to make butter chicken and puri as well!”
“I’m suddenly feeling very nervous about the kitchen.” Romanov gulps.
I chuckle at him. Romanov is never this laid-back and real in front of anyone else. He’s never nervous, never afraid, never reluctant. But when he’s with me, he’s everything he never is in front of everyone else.
He tells me about his fears and his doubts. He tells me about his ideas and asks for my opinion. Sometimes he cries when he misses his parents. Sometimes he’s cold because of something that goes on inside his head.
Regardless of everything, he always allows me to be beside him. When he fears a case won’t be won or a business proposal won’t be accepted, he lets me encourage him. When he doubts a new idea at work, he lets me give him alternatives. When he’s upset, he lets me hold him while he cries and pretends not to be that affected.
Sometimes there are moments when I can’t believe how blessed I am to have this man beside me. How lucky I am that our souls decided to recognise each other and love each other.
He lets me hold him at his weakest, and he holds me at mine.
“I love you very, very much, do you know that?” I eye the man driving the car. A small smile settles on his lips, and I can only gasp when he suddenly drives the car off the road and parks it on the side.
He turns towards me.
I’m sure I’m looking just as confused as I’m feeling. I try to read him. His face gives off nothing.
“What?” I chuckle, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze. Just as I always do, I begin twirling my engagement ring unconsciously.
His lips meet mine even before I can comprehend his movement. I smile into the kiss as I feel his palms frame my face.
“I love you, you little minx,” Romanov murmurs against my lips and places a quick peck on me before moving back.
“Let’s go home,” Romanov announces, turning on the car again. I blush when I notice the lightness in his voice.
“Okay.”
And then we drive back onto the main lane.
~
“It smells good out here,” Romanov whispers as we get out of the car and begin walking towards the front door.
“Yeah, it does! Smells like pizza, huh?” I whisper back, locking my hand into his.
“Why couldn’t we just have a barbecue in the backyard?”
“Because you know exactly how Gran and Aunt Meryl are when they get together, don’t you?”
“Don’t tell me Aunt Meryl gave you another one of her collections to wear tonight,” Romanov groans under his breath so that only the two of us can hear. I smirk at him in return, knowing exactly how unsettled he gets when I wear one of Aunt Meryl’s creations at events.
“Yeah. It’s just a simple dress this time,” I assure him, tightening my hold on his arm before pulling him down so I can peck his right cheek.
“It’s backless, isn’t it?” Romanov turns towards me suspiciously.
“Nope.” I shake my head as we stop to close the front door behind us.
“It’s really short, isn’t it?” Romanov whispers as we get closer to the kitchen.
“Not shorter than anything anyone has seen me in.” I glance at him with a smile.
“Okay, as long as you’re comfortable in it, I guess,” Romanov murmurs as he leans down to place a peck on my temple before pulling me into the kitchen.
“Hey, kids!” Aunt Meryl sings as she continues to stir what smells like chocolate and banana. I feel myself begin to salivate.
“I’m already hungry,” I whisper to Romanov. A chuckle leaves his lips as we settle on the high chairs in front of the kitchen island.
“Would…would you like to cut the potatoes?” Grandma Liz asks Romanov nervously. Everyone in the kitchen also begins to get nervous as we just glance between the two.
There’s a painful stretch of silence before Romanov clears his throat and pulls the chopping board towards him. “Sure…Gran.”
A collective amount of sighs of relief leaves the rest of our lips, and I watch Grandma Liz looking wide-eyed at Romanov.
“Potatoes, was it?” Romanov coughs awkwardly as he looks up at Gran.
Gran blinks and immediately begins nodding. “Right…right away, dear!”
“I love you,” I whisper into Romanov’s ear before placing a loud peck on his cheek. I’m doing this a lot nowadays—kissing him randomly.
“Just get married already,” Grayson groans as he enters the kitchen, a very happy Letty in his arms.
“Shut up.” I poke a tongue out at him before taking Letty from him when she begins to reach for me.
“Hey kiddo,” I say, smiling at the sweet little peanut. “Look at you smile. You’re having a good day today, huh?
“Ma…ma.”
The grey-eyed beauty giggles before turning towards Romanov. Then she begins reaching for him instead.
It’s no secret by now. Letty likes Romanov more than she likes me.
After the whole disaster with Yvette, Romanov had immediately decided to turn Oakenfield castle into a hotel tourist attraction and sell the other mansion as well. Ee’d bought a new home together and decided to move Letty in with us. Prue was already too busy with work even though she would never admit it, and I was the legal guardian after all.
I like this new home better, anyway. The property is quite large with a good amount of land coverage. It also has another building, a five-minute walk away from the main house. Apparently, in the olden days, the help used to live there. The building has approximately five apartments, so it is convenient. After renovating all the outdated things, it’s become a perfect place for some of the workers to stay.
A week ago, Marsha approached me about finally getting a divorce from her second husband. She and the kids moved in the very next day.
“Rome, she wants you.” I lean towards Rome, waiting for him to take Letty before she begins to create a fuss like she always does.
Already used to this, the tall man casually gets off the chair and walks over to the sink.
“I’ll cut the potatoes.” I nod as he takes Letty from my arms and immediately places a kiss on her forehead. Letty immediately rests her head on his chest and begins to fall asleep.
It’s also another thing about my niece, too. Letty loves to use Romanov as her bed.
“I’m going to take her to the living room,” Romanov announces. I turn around and watch as he dumps himself beside Alexander, Matthew, and Matthew’s wife, Charlotte, on the couch.
“Where’s Theia?” I ask Aunt Meryl, turning back around and picking up a cleanly peeled potato.
“Out in the back patio. She’s having a video call with one of her patients.”
“She needs to have a day out away from everything to be honest.” Gran sighs as she begins sautéing the onions.
“I agree.” I nod, pouring the chopped up potato into a bowl and picking another.
“Maybe you should whisper it into Alexander’s ears?” I suggest to Aunt Meryl.
I do believe that Theia needs a break. In fact, both she and Alexander need one. Ever since they arrived again last Friday, Alexander keeps insisting that this is a break for them, but it really isn’t. Even though they are thousands of miles away from home, they’re always busy either with the kids or with work.
“I’m ready as long as you and Rome agree to babysit the kids, Liv!” Alexander yells from the living room, and I turn towards him with a grin.
“Really?” I smile at the man.
“Yeah sure! I’ll admit, I think we need a holiday as well.”
I turn towards Aunt Meryl and Gran.
It’s a good idea, Aunt Meryl mouths.
“We can take care of the little monsters.” Gran nods positively.
“Okay! Pack your bags! I agree!”
Alexander turns around, surprised. “Really?”
“Yeah, man, you and Thi need a break,” Romanov answers instead. I turn back to the potatoes. The boys have gotten it under control now.
“I agree. Char and I are even going for a spin around Germany. You guys should do it too,” Matthew’s says.
“How many dishes are done?” I ask Aunt Meryl, suddenly realising that we’re only hours into the start of the gathering.
“Just the desserts left, dear,” Marsha replies as she walks in with a line of girls behind her, bags of what looks like ingredients in their hands.
“God, are you planning on feeding an army?” I blurt out, staring at the things they put out one by one.
“No, just a group of almost twenty people.” Aunt Meryl chuckles.
“Never mind.” I sigh. “Sounds like a small army unit, after all.”
“Erm, Olivia?”
My head turns towards the voice I’ve known quite well. The man’s red-rimmed eyes give a blunt evidence of stress and lack of sleep. It’s written all over his face, but he still manages to pull the corner of his lips into a smile when I turn to face him.
Dominic motions towards the backdoor, and I watch as he’s already beginning to silently make his way towards the door. Of course, I do know what he wants to talk about with his face looking like that. And whenever we have this conversation, that also has me standing at a crossroad again.
A part of me doesn’t want to follow him because of how childish I think he is about Isabelle and of how he’s been avoiding it for months. Still, the other part of me—the part that has seen the tiredness behind his jokes, the part that has wondered how much he was hurting during full moons—wants to follow him and to help him and my best friend find their own happy ending.
Watching the door close behind him as he steps out, I turn to glance at a weary-looking Aunt Meryl. I slowly get off from the high chair and make my way outside as well.
“Hey.” Dominic sighs as he turns around, running his palm across his tired face.
“Hey.” I send him a small smile. I’m sure it must show the pity I feel for his situation. I’m also sure that he must hate to see this emotion on my face, but watching him right now, I can’t help it. So, I let myself be.
“Hey.” He sighs again, letting his shoulders slump as he turns back around, looking at the large backyard.
“Do you need an intervention, Dom?” I place my palm on his shoulder as I take a step closer to him. His tense muscles melt under the warm pressure of my hand, and I hear as he sighs, still not turning around.
We stand there like that for a while, our only communication, the palm that I have on his shoulder. Time drags by, and still, I find myself completely calm, letting Dominic borrow some of my calm energy, to feel the earthy grounds of our world while the beast inside him wrecks more havoc day by day, pulling him closer and closer to utter lack of control—to destroying himself until he finds Isabelle.
“Yes,” he replies after a few minutes of silence.
“I’m booking the earliest flight to London then.” I nod, running my hand on his back comfortingly.
“No!”
I frown. “But why?”
Seeing his determined light brown eyes staring into mine, I realise this now—I cannot figure this man out.
“I’ll find her when I’m ready. Right now… I just need to know…”
My eyes narrow as the tall, strong, caramel-skinned man shuffles on his feet in front of me.
“What do you need to know, Dom?”
“Who the fucking hell is Charles?”
For a few seconds, I wonder if I should let my jaw drop to the ground just as it really wishes to right now and get mad at the lycan in front of me for being so childish for so long and letting such a misunderstanding affect his health, or to laugh on his face.
It doesn’t take too long to piece out why he was so upset that day when I was FaceTiming Issy. Him knowing Charles’s name is proof enough that he’d heard our conversation.
I realise that this may the reason he’s been particularly stressed out lately, which surprisingly irritates me. The fact that he has been stressing out for so long because of such a misunderstanding instead of demanding a clarification is driving me up the wall. His ego stopped him from finding out that Charles is actually just Issy’s puppy. Instead, he wallowed in jealousy and pain for the past two months.
Ugh, Dominic!
If there is a way to make this man stop being so stubborn and approach my best friend, telling him who Charles is so easily is definitely not one of them.
I have a very deep feeling that if Dominic can help it, he will never approach Issy. And to be quite frank, that won’t do at all!
There is no way I’m going to ease his burden this easily. If he wants to stop feeling so jealous, he’ll have to get himself to London and find out for himself. It’s about time he stops being so stubborn and begins to give himself a chance.
So, looking at the man in his eyes, I shrug.
“Charles? Who is this Charles you speak off? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Dominic.”
The man could only stare back at me with two suddenly very blank-looking eyes.
~
“Everything already set up?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The decorations in the dining room?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The food?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Lights?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“What about the desserts?”
“Perfect, ma’am.”
“Have the guests started arriving?”
“Almost everyone has arrived, ma’am.”
I turn around sharply, hurriedly trying to put on the small diamond stud that belonged to my mum. “What?”
“You’re late, ma’am.”
“Oh no, Gray, I’ve got to get down there, now!”
“For once I agree with you wholeheartedly, ma’am,”
“If you call me ‘ma’am’ one more time, Gray, I’ll kick your face.”
“Ooohh! Feisty!”
I almost throw a shoe at his head, but he’s quick as he turns around and rushes out of the room, chuckling.
A sigh leaves my lips, and I stand up. I turn towards the balcony just as another chilly gust of wind flows into the room, brushing gently against my skin. I smile, inhaling the night air.
As days go by, I’ve learned to appreciate these small things that usually go unnoticed. These small things strangely make me happy.
Suddenly, I freeze, waiting for it to happen again, and it does as I feel another soft tap on my shoulder.
I whirl around. Then beam at the person standing in front of me.
“Hello.”
“Sophia! When did you get discharged from the hospital?” I ask as I take a step forward and grasp the still frail-looking girl’s hand in mine.
When Sophia had jumped from the balcony that horrible night two months ago, I had really thought it was the end. I was terrified and extremely upset. Romanov’s emotions were also amplifying inside me, and so I had another fainting spell.