Bear to Want: Kodiak Den #1 (Alaskan Den Men)

by Amy Lamont

  Kaden

  I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at the look on Alyssa’s face as we drove closer and closer to my house. I knew she was flipping out. And I knew, as her mate, I should probably be more supportive.

  But I also knew the only way to reassure her was for her to get there and meet everyone and see she had nothing to fear. And I’d make sure she had nothing to fear.

  A wave of possession and protectiveness slammed me like a fist, knocking the amusement right out of me. My bear rose up, ready to defend our woman.

  Amusement returned hot on the heels of my animal instincts. And this time it was directed solely at myself. My mate was going to have me running in circles.

  My mate. I glanced over to where she sat in the passenger seat of my truck, gnawing on her bottom lip and looking totally adorable. I turned my attention back to the road and a sense of peace I’d never known—not as a kid living with my family and certainly not as a soldier landing in one godforsaken place after another—settled over me. It felt like there was never a time I wasn’t waiting for her. And while I’d wait forever if that were what it took, the happiness I felt knowing I didn’t have to wait anymore made every day of the last seven years, even those spent in hellholes nursing injuries and dealing with unimaginable shit—worth it.

  Another glance showed me I’d earned her attention. She stared at me with a crinkle between her brows and her lips pursed like she was concentrating on a puzzle.

  “What?” I asked before sliding my gaze back to the road.

  “Nothing. Just wondering how I got here.”

  “Well, sweetheart, first we had breakfast. And then we loaded up in the truck. Though how you managed to get up in the cab after the plate of pancakes you ate is beyond me.”

  A quick look at her had my lips twitching. Her narrowed eyes told me I’d earned her anger. Guess it wasn’t too smart to accuse a woman of overeating and being too heavy to get up in the truck, but if she had any doubt about how I felt about her curves after yesterday and last night, she definitely hadn’t been paying close enough attention.

  “Funny man,” she grumbled under her breath and I stopped holding back my grin. She’d definitely been paying attention.

  My phone rang and I grabbed my earpiece from the console and shoved it over my ear, hitting the talk button at the same time. “Black.”

  “Dude, did she take the job?” Mason’s voice blared in my ear.

  “I don’t know. Want me to pass her a note?”

  “Don’t be a dick. I’m happy for you that you finally got laid. God knows you needed it. But we do have a business we need to get up and running. I stopped by the police department and found out they had someone calling in looking for an investigator in the area. Let’s get rolling on things so we aren’t missing out on clients.”

  I held back my growl at Mason’s getting laid comment. Wasn’t the first time he’s given me a hard time like that. But when I didn’t have Alyssa sitting next to me, he’d learn that was the last time he talked about my woman that way. “Copy that. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Try closing your eyes. Maybe if you’re not looking directly at her, you won’t be thinking with your dick. You can actually have a conversation about the job. And don’t forget to push the tuition reimbursement...”

  This time I did let out my growl. Right before I hung up on Mason and yanked the earpiece out of my ear, tossing it back in the console.

  “Everything okay?” Alyssa asked.

  I smiled at her. “Everything’s great. Just Mason being his usual dickhead self.”

  She laughed. “What exactly did that entail?”

  Damned if I was going to tell her about Mason’s smack talk. She’d probably blush from now until next Tuesday. I shook my head. “Nothing. But he did want to know if you’d given any more thought about the job. Told me to remind you about the tuition reimbursement. You can get your degree online while you work.”

  “Get my degree online?”

  Something in her voice caught my attention. I twisted to look at her for long moments before focusing back on the road.

  “Did I misunderstand what Mason offered?” I did my best to keep things neutral.

  “He just said I could get some college credits that way. I figured I’d transfer them over to Oregon State when I start there in the spring.”

  My heart stopped. “Oregon State?”

  “Yeah. They offered me a scholarship. I deferred enrollment until spring so I could save a little more. I’d like to be able to focus on my classes so I’m hoping I’ll be able to afford working only part-time.”

  “You’re still planning on going to school in Oregon?” I erased all expression and fought to keep the anger out of my voice. Never knew the skills I’d learned in hostage negotiating would come in handy in conversations with my woman.

  “I-I don’t know. It’s what I’ve been planning for as long as I can remember.” Her voice was tiny and my heart ached.

  She’d been planning on school for as long as I’d been planning on claiming her and making her mine. For the first time since I had her under me yesterday, I started to think this might not be the done deal I thought it was. Plans for our future together had been foremost in my mind for a while now.

  But apparently Alyssa’s plans didn’t match mine. My bear rose up and snarled and I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

  I stared out the windshield as steely determination set in. No more waiting. There’s no way Alyssa was leaving Kodiak and leaving me behind. She was mine.

  Now I just had to make that clear to her.

  Alyssa

  I will not freak out. I will not freak out. No matter how many times I repeated those words over in my head, I couldn’t seem to take my own advice.

  “Easy, sweetheart.” Kaden dropped his arm over my shoulder as he lead me from his truck to the front door of a log cabin tucked into a stand of trees.

  I glanced around and was pleasantly surprised to note the other homes here were tucked in their own spots along a single-track road. My breath started coming a little easier.

  “I don’t know what I expected.” I shook my head at my silliness, and internally acknowledged my lie. I knew exactly what I expected—a clump of houses built right on top of each other with hordes of Kaden’s relatives waiting to greet us. “This is really beautiful.”

  And it was. The house had a long front porch with several rocking chairs on one side of the front door and a small table and chairs taking up the other side. I raised an eyebrow at the pots of flowers hanging from the porch roof. I shot a look Kaden’s way.

  He followed my gaze and grinned. “My mom. They were a welcome home present.”

  I nodded and went back to my inspection as Kaden guided me through the front door. I stopped dead when we stepped into the great room. I didn’t know where to look first.

  One of the main focal points was an enormous stone fireplace. A mix of worn leather chairs and plush brown sofas were placed around it, a ginormous big screen television over the mantle.

  The TV made me smile. That would have been the only thing I’d been right about had someone asked me what I thought Kaden’s place looked like.

  One entire wall was composed of floor to ceiling windows. The view from anywhere in the room was breathtaking—tall spruce trees with mountains in the distance, green as far as the eye could see.

  At the other side of the room, a long farmhouse table and enough chairs to seat an army divided the room in half. Beyond that I could see a fully updated kitchen with stainless steel appliances, a center island with a cook top and four stools tucked under the counter, long marble countertops, and warm pine cabinets.

  Just the sight of that kitchen made me want to start cooking, something I loved to do. The facts I worked long hours and my little kitchenette didn’t allow me to do more than heat two pots on the stove kept me from doing it too often. Not to mention cooking for one could get depressing.

  “What
do you think?”

  I twisted to find Kaden leaning on the back of the couch, his arms crossed over his chest. His pose was casual, but something about his careful watchfulness made me feel like a mouse about to get pounced on by a cat.

  I studied his face another moment and I realized something. The connection I’d felt when we made love yesterday, when he’d been buried so deeply inside me I didn’t know where he ended and I began, that connection was still there. The bonds didn’t break when we rolled out of bed.

  The knowledge gave me the courage to take a step toward him. And then another. Until I stood directly in front of him, looking up into his ruggedly handsome face.

  “I love your home. It’s beautiful.” I stood on my tiptoes, bracing my hands on his folded arms, and pressed a fast kiss to his lips—the first I’d given him instead of the other way around. “It feels like home.”

  He relaxed his arms and dropped his hands to my waist, pulling me in closer so I stood between his feet. A satisfied smile touched his lips, but I had only a few seconds to enjoy being responsible for putting that look on his face before he pulled me in closer even closer.

  Kaden dipped his head and, without saying a word, claimed my mouth with his own.

  I looped my arms around his neck and sank into his kiss. He’d kissed me more times than I could count yesterday, but this one felt different from all of those.

  His lips were gentle but demanding at the same time. He feasted on my bottom lip as if he had all the time in the world, but the way his hands clenched on my hips spoke of urgency.

  When his tongue stroked along the seam of my lips, I opened to him, moaning when he dipped inside, rubbing his tongue along mine. Little flames of need licked at my skin, the slow burn building.

  Kaden’s hands convulsed on my hips and tugged me closer still. His arms shifted around my back so he held my body tightly to his. I wiggled until my soft curves fit perfectly into the hard planes of his body. In this position, I could feel every inch of him against me.

  Kaden deepened the kiss and I tilted my head to give him free rein. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to stay right here forever, his mouth sealed over mine, making me feel desired at the same time he made me feel safe and protected.

  Or if I wanted him to strip my clothes off me and lay me out on the rug in front of that fireplace and continue teaching me all the ways we could find pleasure in each other’s bodies.

  Turns out I didn’t have to decide. Kaden had already made up his mind. And I knew this because he pulled his mouth from mine and stared down at me. His eyes all but glowed with desire, gold rimming the dark, dark brown.

  “I want to fuck you and hear you scream my name.” He cupped my jaw and rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. “I want to stay buried in you until you admit you’re mine. Until you promise to stay here with me.”

  My heart stuttered to a stop and then commenced beating at double its usual speed. My lips parted, but I couldn’t utter a single sound.

  I should be terrified by his words. But I wasn’t. I was so many things all at once, but afraid wasn’t one of them. The feeling that stood out strongest was the deep sense of longing.

  Despite my plans, despite all the rules I’d made for myself, there was something deep down inside me, something as primal as the bear inside of him, that wanted this more than anything.

  I wanted him. And us together. This home he’d created. The job I’d been offered. I wanted to know his friends, his family. I wanted to belong to him. To spend my nights beside him. All of it. Everything. There was no room inside me for fear.

  “Say yes, Alyssa.” Kaden’s voice was a deep rumble.

  I stared up into his eyes and mimicked his position, lifting a hand to cup his cheek. “Yes.”

  He sucked in a deep breath and something too big to name flared behind his eyes. His hands slid down and lifted me against him, my feet leaving the ground as his mouth came down on mine, hard and deep and claiming.

  I lost myself in his kiss. In the feeling of his hands on my body, of his strength pressed against my softness. The word he demanded repeated itself over and over again in my mind. Yes. Yes. Yes.

  “Yoo-hoo, hello! Anybody home?” A feminine voice called loudly from the entryway.

  I jolted in Kaden’s arms and he pulled his mouth from mine. I looked up at him, completely bewildered as a chuckle escaped him.

  He rested his forehead against mine and smiled. “That’s my mother. Perfect timing as usual.”

  My eyes grew wide. “Your mother?”

  Even I could hear the panic in my voice.

  He flashed me a big smile. “Relax, babe. My mother’s been dying to see you. Don’t worry. She won’t bite.”

  And that’s when the emotion I’d been expecting hit me—fear. A ginormous ball of fear hit me squarely in the chest harder than that wrecking ball Miley Cyrus was always going on about.

  Crap.

  Chapter 10

  Alyssa

  “And Mason told me about the job offer. It sounds like a great opportunity. And of course, you’ve always been so bright and so hard working. You’ll be perfect for the position. Oh, look, there’s Kaden’s uncle. Let me go grab him so you have a chance to chat with him.” Kaden’s mother launched her petite frame from the worn leather chair and weaved her way through the people in the room.

  I blinked and looked around myself. In the two hours since Kaden’s mother had arrived, other family members had streamed in slowly but surely. Most of them I knew to some degree. Kodiak was a small town and I worked at two of the favorite hangouts for the local werebears.

  But my interactions with all of them had always been superficial. I wore my customer service smile like it was part of my uniform, both at Sheila’s and the Bear Trap. I’d made a lot of assumptions over the years about the bear shifters’ opinions of me. Assumptions I was starting to think were completely unfounded.

  From the moment she’d arrived, Kaden’s mother had been warm and welcoming. Not to mention chatty. I don’t think she’d come up for breath for longer than a few seconds unless she was running off to greet a newcomer.

  And while not all of Kaden’s relatives shared her chattiness, all of them had been nothing but kind and friendly. Of course, part of the reason for that may have been the fact Kaden kept his arm thrown over my shoulders and my body plastered to his side for a good portion of the afternoon. I don’t think anyone had any intentions of being anything but nice to me, but should the thought have occurred to them, the fiercely protective looks Kaden kept giving me would have made it clear it wouldn’t be tolerated.

  I sank deeper into the cushions of the chair I’d been sitting in while Kaden’s mom and I talked. Sipping the glass of wine that had seemed to magically stay filled all afternoon, I took the opportunity to look around the room.

  Kaden’s brothers and sister arrived shortly after their mother. A few cousins and aunts and uncles wandered in, most carrying food or beer or wine. I’d seen Mason stroll in a little while ago. He’d given me a wave, but didn’t stop on his path to the counters laden with food.

  As each person walked in, my stomach became a roiling pit of dread. I’d waited all afternoon, but not one snide comment or nasty look had been pointed in my direction.

  In fact, quite the opposite had happened. Everyone had been unfailingly polite, but more, they’d been interested in me and my life. Several had given me off-handed compliments, admiring everything from my work ethic to my masses of dark blonde hair.

  Which brought me to now, alone for the first moment since Kaden’s house had begun filling with people. I took the opportunity to check in with myself and figure out how I felt about being thrust into this crowd of Kaden’s friends and family.

  And what I came up with was—content. I felt content and happy and like I wasn’t the little girl with her nose pressed against the glass looking at what everyone else had but never me.

  Kaden had given me a gift beyond anything I could remember receiving
before. He’d shared his family with me and made me feel a part of it. And the feeling was indescribable. Unlike anything I’d ever felt before.

  Sort of like my feelings for Kaden.

  I scanned the room, searching for him with my gaze. I located him standing with a group of his male cousins. Kaden was shaking his head at whatever one of the men was saying, a small grin tipping up the corners of his lips.

  And as I kept my eyes pinned to him, I swear, he sensed me. His head turned and his gaze landed on me in an instant. He tipped his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

  I offered him a soft smile, and I knew I must have worn the lovesick look normally only attributed to Disney princesses. But for the first time in my life, I didn’t care if my true feelings showed on my face. Didn’t care if Kaden could see the crazy kaleidoscope of feelings he set free inside of me.

  One of his shifter cousins said something and clapped a hand on Kaden’s shoulder. Kaden offered me one last grin before turning his attention back to his conversation.

  But the warmth that had been unfurling in my chest from the second our eyes met didn’t dissipate when he looked away. It continued to grow. And a feeling I almost didn’t recognize sprouted up deep inside me.

  Hope.

  “I see Kaden didn’t waste any time marking you.” A woman I recognized dropped into the chair Kaden’s mom vacated moments ago.

  I drew my brows together, not quite sure what she meant. “Hi, Krista. I didn’t realize you were related to the Blacks.”

  Krista Phelps had graduated high school the year before I did. I can’t say she’d never made snide comments about me or sent me nasty looks, but in her case, it didn’t make me special. Krista was tall, platinum blonde, gorgeous, and predatory. I didn’t know if it was her looks or something in her werebear genes, but she’d always had an overabundance of confidence. A confidence that made her feel superior to all of us mere mortals. She’d made an art of picking on the humans in our high school.

  She waved her hand dismissively. “I’m not related to the Blacks. I came with Kaden’s cousin.”