Lean into It

by Betty Balaba

  I was not sure whether to shake his hand or give him a hug, so I did not do either.

  “Please, I feel honoured to be here,” I heard him say.

  I thought he was going to leave but he kept talking.

  “Have you been taking pictures for long?”

  “Always a little, but more in the last 6 months, really.”

  We walked as he looked over some of them. I could see Sophie’s eyes following us round the room.

  “You are really talented.”

  “Thank you.” I could not help my smile deepening.

  Sophie obviously couldn’t contain herself any longer and suddenly appeared at my side. Her face told me that I better introduce her fast.

  “This is Sophie, a good friend of mine.”

  James took her hand and shook it.

  “Sophie, this is James.”

  I did not say how we knew each other, which Sophie took as self-prompted cue to unashamedly delve. “Have you known each other long?”

  Sophie looked from me to James and back again. He scratched his ear. “No, not long. We met at the hospital.” That was all he said.

  Sophie’s face was very smiley. “Tell me. Are you a doctor?”

  I could have killed her then.

  “Yes, I’m a surgeon.”

  Sophie kept grinning. “Of course you are!”

  I grabbed Sophie’s arm. “Please get me a drink, do you mind?”

  “What drink?”

  “Surprise me.”

  Sophie grinned, moving away. She knew it was more than her life was worth to stick around. “Sure,” she said as she winked at me.

  James smiled at her as she left.

  “She’s a bright spark.” He said.

  “Yes.” I agreed. “Let’s hope she does not electrocute any of us.” Turning back to him, I mentioned again: “I really appreciate your coming. It was a lovely surprise.”

  “You’re welcome. I wouldn’t have missed it,” he replied, now looking directly at me. “I have a meeting I have to attend so, reluctantly, I have to go.”

  “Yes, of course. No problem.”

  He smiled and moved closer, giving me a hug. I hugged him back. We slowly parted. “We’ll talk soon.”

  I nodded. Sophie approached as he was leaving.

  “Oh, my goodness! Becca Johnson. Dark horse supreme. I see you kept the doctor for yourself,” she chuckled.

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure if it will be anything yet… but I like him.”

  “Becca, it better be something, because I’m very excited for you.”

  “Thanks.” I said, grinning at her.

  Moments later, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and came face to face with Jenny. I had not seen her in a while. She looked me up and down. I had lost a lot of weight since I had last seen her.

  “You are looking good Becs! Love the dress; very elegant.”

  “Thanks.”

  She smiled. “You look well. Welcome back.” She gave me a hug. I smiled.

  I introduced her to Sophie and they got on straight away, like I knew they would. I could already hear them talking about bags and comparing fashion notes. The exhibition was going well, people seemed to be having a good time and I recognised some faces from the hospital. Nick, my favourite pudding-yielding nursing assistant, saw me as I had picked up a flowered carrot. He shyly waved to me. I waved back, grinning. He was holding a box. Dare I say it, but it looked like a cake box. He weaved his way through the crowd. After giving me a hug, he presented me with the box.

  “This is all for you.” And he winked. He helped me open the lid of the box. I gasped. It was a chocolate cake in the shape of a camera. It was stunning! I smiled. “Not for my mum then?” He laughed.

  “Thanks to you, I didn’t go hungry at the hospital.” I said.

  “Congratulations on your exhibition.”

  “Thank you and thanks so much for coming, and with a gift too!”

  We hugged. I had seen Nick most days of the four months my mother had been in hospital and had got to know him well. He was definitely one of the good guys. Emma hovered at my side. Once Nick had walked away to take a proper look at the photos, she took my hands in hers, grinning. “Very well done, Becca.”

  Emma had been doing her three days in the office for two months now and it suited her. I had not seen her this relaxed since… well, never. Sophie had told me that in the end Emma had decided not to take part in that conference. ‘More trouble than it was worth’, she had said. I could not agree more.

  “How’s work?” I asked.

  “It will still be there in the morning.” I chuckled and she joined in.

  “How’s your mum?”

  “She is doing much better, thanks.”

  “I am glad.”

  “Are you enjoying the extra day at home?” I asked, although knowing the answer.

  “Definitely. I am embracing the work-life balance.”

  “Good for you.”

  “Your photos are amazing!”

  “Thank you!”

  “I bought the print of the morning mist over the countryside. It is what I wish the view was like outside my kitchen window.”

  “Do you want to escape to the country?”

  “In my dreams, but then reality hits and I know I would die of boredom.”

  I smiled. Emma may have fostered a relaxed appearance but I knew she was a city person through and through.

  She gave me a hug. “Again, very well done, Becca. This is a very impressive string to your bow.”

  “Thanks, and thanks for coming.”

  “I would not have missed it.” I believed her.

  “We should do lunch sometime soon.”

  “Definitely.” It would be good to see her again. After my initial doubts, I had really warmed to her.

  As she turned to leave, I shouted after her. “Enjoy the view!”

  She chuckled as she saluted me.

  Holly and Kate, my new boot camp mates, arrived together. I went near the entrance to meet them. They looked great out of boot camp attire. We shrieked ‘hello’ at each other, before it was hugs all round. They looked good. Kate gave me the once over. “You’ve taken more weight off. You look amazing!”

  “So do you.”

  “Do you want to go to another camp in the autumn?”

  I shook my head before the words could come out. I had an amazing experience, but I still needed a break of a lot more months before I went back to that kind of gruelling physical activity. Holly was all glossy hair and nails that looked like they had only just been painted in a salon. She had kept the weight off and was wearing a mini to prove it. I had a good time seeing them again. We agreed to meet up for a healthy lunch soon.

  Some of my previous work colleagues came too, showering me with compliments and asking what I was going to do next. I gave the same answer in different ways. I was still deciding. I was laughing with Sophie when the atmosphere in the room changed, just as I saw Gordon and a photographer standing at a small podium near the front of the room.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming and supporting our talented photographers.”

  Sophie winked at me and I grinned back.

  “I know some of you are itching to get to the pub, so without further ado, I’ll announce the winners.”

  There was a smattering of laughter around the room and I caught Sophie jabbing Greg in the ribs; no doubt he was eager to be pub bound.

  “Out of the many hundreds who applied, everyone exhibiting here tonight is worthy of applause. I’m sure you will agree, it’s been an outstanding achievement on the part of the photographers, the work here tonight. But I won’t keep you waiting any longer. I’m pleased to announce in the third place, with a prize of one thousand pounds is Gemma Harris – for her wonderful portraits.” Everyone clapped as Gemma, a shy petit lady, went up to collect her award, apologizing to everyone who got in her way as she tried to squeeze past them.

  “In second pl
ace is Daniel Williams, for his still life photography.”

  Daniel looked like he spent far too many hours on a sun bed. He was standing near the front and did not have far to walk to collect his prize of five thousand pounds. He looked like he’d done this before. I stayed where I was, near the back of the room. I was not going to win. I was simply grateful that I was chosen to take part. I felt that my cup was already full.

  “… Johnson.” What was that! Did I hear correctly? Sophie and Jenny pounced on me in unison, squealing, “Oh my goodness, you did it! Bloody hell, Becs, you won!” I disentangled myself from their arms as they pushed me towards the stage. The blood was now reaching my feet because I was able to propel myself forwards. When I finally reached the stage, Gordon hugged me and handed me an envelope and a bronze statue of a camera.

  “Very well done!”

  I just about fought back my tears. “A worthy winner of our ten thousand pound prize, and her own show at the prestigious Hudson Gallery in Mayfair.” My knees were shaking. Gordon held on to my arm, which was just as well or without his support I think I would have collapsed.

  “Thank you so much. I feel so humbled to be given this opportunity. It’s a real privilege…” I am not sure what else I said because I was so overwhelmed, my cup was now overflowing. Looking out at the crowd, with my now blurred vision, I could see Jenny and Sophie clasping each other’s hands, crying. After all the congratulations and good wishes, I made my way towards where I had left Sophie and Jenny, but my progress was stopped by a smart looking man in his early fifties with a warm smile. He held out his hand, which I shook.

  “Congratulations Becca, its remarkable work.”

  “Thank you.” I was about to walk off but he stopped me by not releasing my hand. I smiled a little, self-consciously. He let go of my hand. “I’m Giles Lloyd, publisher at McAdams Books and, after considering your photos, we’d love to talk with you further about a publishing deal for a coffee table book… perhaps after your exhibition, when you have a full collection together. But we should start talking now if it’s something you’re interested in.” I felt myself sway a little and gathered myself quickly. Holy smoke! A publishing deal! A coffee table book! What the hell was happening? I was not sure, but I loved it. My grin said it all. “Thank you so much. Thank you.” He chuckled, handing me his business card. “Give me a call tomorrow and we’ll arrange for you to come into the office to discuss things further.” I nodded as my grin deepened, which I did not think was possible, but apparently it was. “Thank you.” We shook hands again and he was gone.

  When I reached Sophie and Jenny, Sophie piped up. “I think one doctor is enough to be getting on with,” she mocked. “Who was that?”

  “A publisher.”

  Jenny looked fit to burst. “And?”

  “They may want to offer me a coffee table book.”

  “Shut the front door!” Sophie said, hi-fiving me. “Congratulations!” We all hugged.

  “Don’t forget us when you’re all rich and famous and being interviewed on This Morning.”

  I almost burst a blood vessel now. “As if. We are friends for life. You don’t get rid of me that easily.”

  I excused myself to get some fresh air. Once outside, I smiled. Oh my goodness. I could not believe it. Well, I had to, but wow, just wow! I would now have the money to pursue another career. It had been an amazing evening. I actually won the competition, got a solo show, a coffee table book and the Doc finally asked me out! There had to be a drum roll somewhere. I smiled to myself; all the things I had achieved lately had been done while I was a bigger size. My less confident self a few months ago would be doing back flips and saying I told you it would be all right. Well… maybe not quite the backflips. No one wants to go back to A&E. I turned, heading back into the building but saw James coming out. I thought he had left a while ago. He answered my question.

  “My legs couldn’t seem to find the door,” he smiled.

  Forget the backflips, I was doing a whole routine that was medal worthy.

  We walked towards each other and he gave me a hug that, to my mind, lasted a while.

  “Congratulations on the prize, Becca. Truly amazing.”

  “Thanks,” I giggled as we let go of each other.

  “I’ll speak to you tomorrow and we can arrange our date.”

  My eyes widened a fraction. It was now officially a date; of course it was. I was so glad, I did not want subtle. I wanted to be the reason he thought of me and smiled, like he was doing now. We hugged again and he was off to his function. I am sure he was late, but he did not seem to mind. The exhibition had been beyond my expectations. A few glasses of Prosecco later and Gordon, the gallery owner, sidled up to me.

  “The private view has been a great success. You have sold all your prints.”

  “Oh my goodness. That is amazing!”

  “I only released a certain amount, because they are limited edition.”

  I liked the sound of that, limited edition.

  “Thank you so much. It’s been an incredible night. I can hardly believe it.”

  “Believe it.” He squeezed my hand for a moment. “It is well deserved.”

  It had been a truly wonderful night. Who would have thought that a few of my photos could lead to all of this? It was definitely a new beginning. If I had not seen that advert in the paper at the hospital! It was really serendipitous that I had done so.

  “A couple of local papers also want to interview you,” he had said. The couple ended up being four papers and two radio shows. The whole experience had been beyond my dreams. I had definitely got my Joie de Vive back.

  I was not sure my mother would be able to come to the exhibition, but she surprised me by asking to come to see my photos the day before. The crowded event would have been too much for her. She had loved the photographs. “Your photos are fantastic. You are very talented. I marvel at what you can do when you set your mind to it.” It was three sentences, but coming from my mum, it was everything.

  After my mother had seen my photographs, I could see she was amazed. I gave her a proper hug. Letting me go, she handed me a slip of paper.

  “What’s this?”

  “Your receipt for the removal men.”

  I frowned.

  “I paid for them to take your things back to your place,” she said proudly.

  “But don’t you need me?”

  She smiled. “I’ll always need you, but it’s time to get your life back.”

  We hugged again.

  It was a wonderful start to the exhibition and I was so touched that my mother had made the effort to see the photos in situ, particularly as she did not feel strong enough to go out much. More importantly, I would be going back to my flat. Except, this time, as a budding photographer with exciting prospects, and a love life to match. For once in my life, the timing was perfect.