by Vikki Vaught
He should have realized Sanderford would comment on his tardiness. “It wasn’t a serious problem, but it added time to my journey. I’d planned to spend time with Lady Helen, unfortunately, that was not possible.”
Helen turned to a distinguished woman sitting on the settee. “My lord, this is my mother, the Dowager Duchess of Sanderford.”
Ah, the mother.
From what Helen had shared, they were not close. Her haughty expression said it all. This woman was obviously interested in pedigree more than anything else. It was hard to imagine she’d had any hand in raising his betrothed.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Your Grace, and may I say I see where Lady Helen gets her beauty? I would never imagine you are old enough to be her mother.” He smiled as he bowed low over her hand.
The duchess appeared flattered by his comments and inclined her head. Her smile, while stiff, made her look more approachable. “Thank you, my lord. I met your father many years ago. You look very much like him, as I recall. You will make a fine addition to the family. Helen mentioned you hail from Devonshire.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied. “I understand you live in Bath. I’ve visited there several times. It’s a beautiful city.”
“It is.” The duchess extolled the city’s virtues for several minutes before adding, “You must bring my daughter to visit.”
Helen went on with the introductions. “My lord, this is my other sister-in-law, the Marchioness of Wyndham. She was married to my late brother. Remember I mentioned Nelson passed two years ago?”
He looked at Lady Wyndham and could see the pain in her eyes when Helen mentioned her husband’s death. If she could still feel such pain after two years, she must have loved him deeply. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry for your loss. I met your husband at White’s on my first trip to town many years ago. He was kind and offered guidance to a very green lad.”
Mary brushed a tear from her warm brown eyes. “Thank you for your kind words, Lord Collingswood. I wish you and Helen the same joy I found in my marriage. I understand you’re a widower with twin daughters. My children are a great source of comfort, as I’m sure yours are to you.”
The butler, he thought he remembered his name was Simpson, came in and announced dinner. Matthew offered Helen his arm, and they followed the duke and duchess into the dining room. It felt somewhat awkward to be in a room full of people he did not know, especially when they would soon become his family. He now wished he’d made more of an effort to bring his brother. If Gregory had come, he’d have had someone there for him. At least Bradley would be there with him tomorrow when he took on the leg-shackle.
The food tasted excellent, and once he relaxed a bit, he could make conversation with Kathryn, who sat beside him. The wine they served with the meal was superb, and the footman kept his glass filled. Since he was still nervous, he again drank more than he should. Helen sat on his right, but she was being so quiet.
Devil’s teeth.
Where’s the vivacious young woman I met in London?
After dinner, the duchess led all the ladies out so the men could enjoy their port and cigars.
The duke was a gracious host and tried to make him feel welcomed. He particularly enjoyed talking with Cousin Harold. He was a man he could call friend; he seemed so down to earth. The others were too high in the instep for him. The duke appeared relaxed. However, he could tell the man still had reservations, and he was probably right. They should have taken more time getting to know each other.
The aged port was mellow, and again he drank several glasses. At this rate, he was well on his way to becoming intoxicated for the second time that day, but it helped him relax. After thirty minutes, Sanderford stood and requested they join the ladies.
When they entered the drawing room, Helen sat on a sofa talking with Lady Wyndham, so he sauntered toward them. He had to step carefully, lest he lose his balance. It had definitely been an unwise decision to drink so much port. He prayed his intended would not realize how drunk he had become.
When he took the seat beside Helen, silence reigned. He was not sure what he should say to his betrothed, and she seemed to be experiencing the same problem. He wondered how on earth they would manage their marriage when he could not even hold a conversation with her. At last, the evening ended, and everyone retired for the night.
Thank God the footman had left brandy in his room. He poured a stiff drink and drank it in two gulps. Normally, he was not much of a drinker, but he needed it to calm his nerves.
What an uncomfortable night.
God, I wish I’d brought my brother.
Even if Gregory is a scapegrace rascal, at least he’s family.
Helen’s relatives seemed nice enough, but he still felt like such an outsider. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Perhaps, once the wedding was over, and they went to his estate, they could relax around each other. He yawned. Tomorrow would be another long day; he needed sleep. He crawled into bed, but sleep would not come. Eventually, he gave up, availed himself of the brandy, and drank until he passed out.
CHAPTER 7
Early July 1820
When Helen returned to her room, she dismissed Sally as soon as she donned her nightgown. The thought of intimacy with Matthew had her belly turning queasy, not from revulsion, but from terror. While she was not ready to become intimate, she had a strange fascination over thoughts of it. Perhaps after the wedding, and they were alone, everything would not feel so overwhelming.
After all, they’d enjoyed each other’s company in London. Surely as they settled into his home, she would feel more comfortable. Sighing, she climbed into bed, but she did not fall asleep. She tossed and turned for hours before falling into a restless slumber.
The next morning dawned bright and early. At least they would have a gorgeous summer day for their wedding. She took a seat at her dressing table and glanced at her reflection. Her blurry eyes told the story of a restless night. Sally entered with her breakfast, but she toyed with her food, far too anxious to eat. She feared this would be the worst day of her life, and it should be the best.
After she finished her meal, she took a long soak in the slipper tub, using rose-scented bathing salts. That always helped her relax, but every muscle in her body was so tense it did not accomplish what she’d hoped to achieve.
When she climbed from the tub, her maid helped her dry off and don her dress. Her gown was truly lovely, perfect for a country wedding. Sally ran a matching ribbon through her curls. Once she was ready, she dismissed her maid, wanting a few moments alone.
She sat on the stool before her mirror and sighed. Too restless to remain still, she jumped up and paced back and forth between the window and the bed. She was not a woman to worry normally, but today her nerves were wound tighter than the strings of a harp.
It felt so strange. She would marry the earl—who was barely more than a stranger—in just under two hours. Well, she would have to make the best of it; too late to do anything now. She needed to concentrate on the reasons why they were suited, and remember she would be a mother immediately.
A knock echoed through the room, so she called out, “Come in.”
Melody entered. “Good morning. I thought I would stay with you until it’s time to leave. Do you need any help?”
Helen pasted what she hoped was an excited smile on her face. “No, I’m ready. I would appreciate your company until it’s time to go. I’m still a little apprehensive regarding the wedding night. In some ways, I’m marrying a stranger and can’t imagine being intimate with him. I’ve decided to ask Lord Collingswood to put off consummating our union. Surely he shan’t mind waiting a few weeks to give us a chance to become better acquainted.”
Melody’s eyes turned pensive. “Darling. If you’ve having second thoughts, we will support your decision.”
She stiffened her spine, determined to appear braver than she felt. “I haven’t changed my mind. I love that I’ll be a mother to his childre
n. I’ll find that fulfilling, and Lord Collingswood and I shall rub along nicely once some time passes. As you shared with me the other day, it’s only natural to have a swarm of bees buzzing in my belly. After all, I’m facing quite a few changes in my life.”
Her sister-in-law glanced at the clock and smiled. “Come. It’s time to join Henry.”
When they arrived downstairs, her brother stood at the base of the stairs. “Ah, you look lovely, sweetheart. Collingswood is a lucky man.” He offered his arm. “Shall we depart?”
Helen slipped her trembling hand through the crook in his elbow. “Lead on.”
Soon they were at the doors of St. Nicolas. The old Norman church was very special to her, since she’d attended services there her entire life. Her dreams of marrying were finally coming true. Matthew stood at the altar with the vicar and another man she had not met. He must be his friend Bradley Fox.
Her future husband looked so handsome dressed in his wedding finery. His hair was combed back, but a stray lock of hair that never stayed in place was already falling over his broad forehead. His dark, charcoal gray morning coat and shimmering, deep green waistcoat enhanced his gorgeous eyes. Her heart gave a slight jump, and her breathing sped up at the impact of what she was about to do.
Helen’s gaze fell upon Kathryn and Susan, looking lovely in their ice blue silk gowns. Thank goodness, she had them by her side. At least she would not be standing alone.
Dozens of white lilies, blue hydrangeas, and baby’s breath festooned the end of each pew, along with ice blue and silver tulle and clusters of white satin ribbons. More hydrangeas and lilies adorned the altar. Everything was breathtakingly beautiful, just as she had always imagined.
She laid her hand on Henry’s arm, and as the music swelled, they slowly made their way up the aisle. Her sister winked and smiled as she reached the altar. Her brother placed her hand in her future husband’s shaking one. Apparently, he was as nervous as she.
The vicar started the wedding mass. While they exchanged vows, a strong sense of rightness and peace filled her soul. She met his penetrating green eyes and realized she wanted this marriage; all would be well.
When it came time to repeat her vows, she did so in a strong, steady voice, meaning every word when she promised to love, honor, cherish, and obey this man for the rest of her life. Matthew’s voice came out a little louder than necessary, when he promised to hold her for better or worse, in sickness and health. Clearly, he was as apprehensive as she.
The vicar stated, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.” Matthew raised her white tulle veil as he looked deeply into her eyes. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then they turned around and walked to the back of the chapel to sign the registry book.
Her hand remained steady as she signed her new name, Helen Doreen, Countess of Collingswood. Her new husband signed the book, and it was the first time she had seen his signature. Matthew Winston, Earl of Collingswood had a nice sound to it. It was a strong name for a strong man.
Matthew placed her hand in the crook of his arm and patted it, probably to reassure her. They walked through the old wooden doors and into the glorious, sunny day. After helping her into the carriage, he sat beside her as the well-wishers streamed out of the church.
She waved and smiled at the village children running by their carriage as they made their way down the lane. He chuckled as she bounced on her seat, unable to contain her excitement over seeing the exuberance of the tenants she’d visited for many years. Although she would miss everyone, she was ready to embrace her future at the side of her new husband.
The wedding breakfast must have tasted delicious, but she was too excited to eat more than a bite. Chef Michelle had created a work of art in the magnificent three-tier wedding cake covered in the palest blue sugared roses and delicate green leaves. The gentleman who stood at the altar with her husband proposed a toast wishing them many happy years together.
Henry stood, and turned toward them with love shining in his eyes. He raised his champagne glass. “To my sister and her new husband. May you find as much joy in your union as my wife and I have found in ours. I love you, sweetheart.” Helen’s eyes misted with tears as he finished his toast.
After hours of dancing and talking to wedding guests and family, it was finally time for her to change. Kathryn, Melody, and Susan came upstairs with her.
Sally helped her remove her wedding gown and don her deep blue carriage dress with the light gray trim. Her maid carefully wrapped the gown in white tissue paper, making sure it would remain perfect so if she was blessed with a daughter, she could wear it at her wedding. She gave her thoughtful, kind maid a hug.
Kathryn pulled her close. “You made a beautiful bride. I wish you many years of happiness. You’re the best sister ever and I will miss you terribly.”
Tears clouded Helen’s eyes. “I love you too, Kathryn. Please write me every day and tell me how your art classes are coming along. You’re a gifted artist, and I’ll want you to paint my portrait as the Countess of Collingswood. There’s no one who could do it better.”
Melody hugged her and whispered in her ear, “I’ll be praying for your happiness. I’m sure your husband will be considerate of your wishes, so don’t be afraid to voice them. Now, it’s time to go downstairs.”
When they arrived below, Matthew was already waiting outside. She turned to her family. “Please write as often as possible. I shall let you know when we arrive in Devonshire.” After hugging each of them, he helped her into the carriage and took the seat beside her. He tapped the roof with his walking stick, and the coachman snapped the whip.
As they drove away, she watched her family fade away before she turned and looked at her husband. She did not know what to say. It felt so strange. She was alone with him, and fear paralyzed her. She tried to recall that sense of peace and rightness she’d experienced in the church, but it had deserted her.
His gaze softened as he looked directly into her eyes. “My dear, you don’t need to be afraid. I’ve decided we shall take it slow. There’s no hurry for us to consummate our marriage. I’m sure you’re concerned about that, since we don’t know each other very well. We shall spend a few weeks furthering our acquaintance first. Does that make you feel better?”
How had he known? “Thank you. I would like it very much if we could get to know each other better before…we…umm…are intimate.” She settled against the seat. “I didn’t sleep well last night because I was so worried. I had already planned to ask you if we could wait but didn’t know how to approach it.”
He squeezed her hand. “We have the rest of our lives. A few weeks will be no hardship, and if it means you’ll be more comfortable, I’m more than willing to delay.”
The heavy weight that had taken up residence on her shoulders lifted. “Your thoughtful consideration means the world to me.” Helen relaxed as she folded her hands. “How many hours will we travel today?”
He settled into his seat. “Until sunset, and then we will stop for the night. No need to push too hard on our journey. I’m sure you’ve been busy planning our wedding.”
She covered her yawn. “I beg your pardon. I would like to talk, but to be honest, I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Would you mind terribly if I rest?”
He patted her hand. “I didn’t sleep well myself, so I think I’ll rest as well.”
After sleeping for several hours, she awoke when the coach slowed and made a turn into a stable yard of the coaching inn where they would spend the night. Matthew escorted her inside, and he obtained a suite of rooms. The innkeeper’s wife led her upstairs, and Sally helped her freshen up.
Ten minutes later, she joined her husband in the private parlor where they would have dinner. Ravenous, since she’d only eaten a few bites of their wedding cake, she tucked in to the savory stew. The beef was so tender she could pull it apart with her fork. The potatoes and turnips were seasoned with bay leaves and thyme and delighted her taste buds.
Now that she no longer worried over the wedding night, she relaxed and enjoy the meal.
Matthew appeared more relaxed as well and told her several amusing stories concerning his scapegrace of a brother. “As I told you earlier, Gregory’s eighteen. He’s been sent down from school several times, but, so far, I’ve managed to keep him from expulsion. When he gets with his friends and they go carousing, that’s when he gets into the most trouble.”
“Goodness, I’m sure that’s troubling,” she commiserated.
He sighed. “I do worry quite a bit. My father was ready to wash his hands of him before he died. That’s the reason he made me promise to marry again and have an heir right away. He didn’t want Gregory to inherit. He would make a terrible earl and would surely bankrupt the earldom with all his gaming.”
Helen frowned. “I’ve never known anyone who gamed excessively. I’m sure it must be of great concern. I hope he’ll outgrow this phase as he matures.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s difficult to understand why Gregory is so fascinated by it. Personally, I find gaming a bore. Although I’ll play a few hands of whist with my friends, I’m very careful I don’t lose more than I can spare.”
“I’m certainly glad you don’t enjoy it.” Determined to lighten their conversation, she said, “Tell me about your sister. What’s she like?”
His eyes danced with merriment. “Margaret’s turning into a real beauty. She’ll be seventeen this fall. I shall have my hands full when she has her come-out next year. I hope you’ll help her navigate the ton. She’s somewhat of a hoyden. Although my father spoiled her, so far, she hasn’t gotten into trouble at school, and she seems to enjoy being with other girls. Did you go away when you were her age?”
Helen shook her head. “Kathryn and I had a governess. You met my mother, she isn’t very affectionate and left us alone much of the time. Miss Tillman was a wonderful teacher. Kathryn and I were sorry to see her leave. I’ve kept in contact with her ever since she left. In fact, she has recently become a teacher at Mrs. Manning’s School for Young Ladies. Wait a minute…isn’t that where your sister goes?”