An Unexpected Gift

by Brandon Carlisle

  I steadied myself against a desk as gasps and screams filled the room. This couldn't be happening. Murdered? In City Hall? There had to be a mistake. I had to tell Sebastian! Knocking on his door there was no answer. I tried again and still no answer. When I the opened door, he was sitting at his desk holding the receiver in his hand and tears were running down his cheeks. "Sebastian?"

  "Arthur told me. Someone came in his office with the news."

  I reached for the phone. "We need to call the school."

  Sebastian handed me the receiver and placed his head in his hands. I dialed the school, and the line was busy. "I'll be right back."

  The office was a mass of confusion. "Everyone! If you have children, go take care of your family. The rest of you… if you can stay, we'd appreciate it. If you can't, we understand." I turned to Dorothy who looked sad but relatively calm. "Please try to get hold of the school for us. We need to know if we should pick up Andy."

  When Dorothy got through, she was informed that classes would end early at one. We decided we would leave and pick up Andy. He was quiet on the ride home, and when we arrived, he headed straight for his room. This was not something we were prepared to deal with and called Abby. She was very distraught when she answered and told us it would take time and to give him space right now, and then she hung up the phone. I called her back and invited her to come down but she said she had friends coming to pick her up.

  Paul called later that afternoon to say he heard people were gathering in the Castro to hold a vigil for Harvey and Mayor Moscone that evening, in case we wanted to attend. I was torn. I wanted to be there with my family, show our support and grieve for the injustice and inhumanity that had struck our city. At the same time, I didn't think Andy was capable of dealing with it. He was still in his room, and Sebastian was lying on the sofa while I was in the kitchen trying to decide what to do about feeding us. We hadn't had lunch and now it was getting close to dinner when Paul called. I gave up and decided to wake Sebastian and talk about Paul's call.

  "Sebby? We need to talk. Paul called. They are gathering in the Castro for a candlelight vigil tonight."

  "Oh? That sounds like a good idea. Oh…, only if Andy wants to go. We should let him decide."

  He stretched, and we made our way down the hall. Sebastian knocked lightly on his door. Waiting, we heard nothing, and he tried again. Opening the door, we saw Andy stretched out with his head lying on his arms, his eyes half closed.

  "What?"

  Sebastian turned to me.

  "We wanted to ask you something?"

  Wiping his eyes, he rolled on his back.

  Sebastian cleared his throat. "They are holding a candlelight vigil in the Castro and we wondered if you would like to go tonight?"

  Andy sat up against his headboard and opened his eyes a bit wider and looked embarrassed. "I… I don't think I can do it right now. I… I'm…"

  Tears ran down his cheeks and Sebastian leaned forward, putting his arms around him, as Andy broke into sobs and held Sebastian tight.

  *****

  That evening I made macaroni and cheese out of a box. I didn't have the energy or the inspiration for anything more, other than adding some cheddar cheese to the mix. We ate in the living room, reading; me with a novel and Sebastian with a magazine. Eventually he turned on the TV and settled on something, but we really didn't watch, and left it on just for background noise. We heard the news interrupt whatever was on and it showed a candlelight procession going up Market Street. There were thousands of people gathered. The announcer explained that the peaceful gathering began in the Castro but grew so large that it spread and was now moving to City Hall.

  "Go get Andy! He needs to see this." He hadn't left his room since we got home.

  Sebastian returned with a grumpy Andy who stood transfixed by the TV before joining us on the sofa. His lips parted as he watched the screen and then a wisp of a smile spread across his lips. The procession was quiet and respectful. It was mostly for Harvey, but it was also for Mayor Moscone. There were very few placards carried, only candles and quiet as they moved down the street. We watched as the last of the crowd settled at the plaza and the cameras turned to the steps of City Hall. Joan Baez was singing.

  When she was done, Andy stood and looked at us, "I love you guys." He leaned down and kissed us each on the cheek before going to his room and shutting the door.

  We looked in on Andy as we went to bed and he was sound asleep.

  The following morning we found him in the kitchen having a bowl of cereal, and I stopped in the doorway. He was already dressed for school. I thought he might be staying home today and wondered if I should say something.

  Sebastian stepped around me and patted him on the shoulder. "Do you want a ride today?"

  "No. I'm taking the bus."

  Sebastian looked at me, then back to Andy. "Are you sure?"

  "I'm not a kid, Sebastian. I'll take the bus."

  "Okay." Waving his hands in surrender.

  "Sorry." Andy looked embarrassed. "I guess I'm kinda sensitive this morning."

  I placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "No harm done. It's understandable."

  Sebastian gave him a gentle smile. "Just remember, we're here if you need us."

  "I know. Thanks."

  *****

  The murders cast a dark shadow over our city for a long time. It not only affected the climate of the politics, but increased the tension in our community.

  The nightmare continued as the trial turned into a circus with the presentation of the "Twinkie Defense". The trial ended with Dan White convicted of manslaughter instead of murder. Reaction to the sentence was outrage. That night we watched the TV as an angry demonstration at City Hall erupted into violence. It was labeled the White Night Riots. A group of demonstrators got out of hand and began breaking windows and tossing rocks at the police. Reinforcements were called in to control the crowd, and a full-blown riot ensued. Police cars were torched as the violence increased. As the crowd dispersed, the police retaliated by storming the Elephant Walk Bar in the Castro. Windows were broken and furniture trashed at the establishment by police. Several patrons were injured. It was one of the darkest periods of our city's gay history. The aftermath, with the hearings over the police actions and the riots, plus the media coverage of Dan White's life in prison, made the pain continue.

  All of this overshadowed Andy's high school years. Having been attacked, and a witness to violence, did little to help him adjust. We did our best to support him and explain with our limited understanding what was happening. Telling him things would get better, hoping in our hearts we were right. In the beginning he buried himself in his studies, coming out of it at times to talk and pose a question on what was happening. In eleventh grade he took Drivers Education, and it became a distraction when he got his learner's permit. By the time summer arrived we took him to get his license. He was free to drive Betty if he wanted, and that gave him some freedom and lifted his spirits. We wanted to buy him a used car, but he wasn't interested. He said the buses were fine, and he didn't want to worry about parking, gas, and insurance.

  Later that summer he began to paint again, and spent a lot of time with Abby once more. We thought he had turned a corner. Still, periods of darkness would overcome him and he would have nightmares once in a while. We wondered about seeking help for him. When I asked Abby if she had noticed the mood swings when he was with her, she said he was fine. That he was working through some things with his art. It sounded rather odd, but we let it pass for the moment.

  We noticed a change in his senior year and, based on his new outlook, suspected he may have met someone. After some pestering, he admitted he was seeing a guy named Elias and agreed we could meet him over the Christmas break. He would bring the young man over for dinner, but there were several conditions. The dinner was to be nothing special, and we were not to make a fuss or cross examine him. Sebastian was disappointed, I smiled, and we agreed.

  Chri
stmas Eve he told us that Elias would be over for dinner the day after Christmas. Christmas day was to be a simple family affair, as Leland and Ryan were on a cruise, while Paul and Diego were spending the holiday with Diego's mother. It was just the four of us, with Abby cooking the turkey while Isaac and I prepared the rest of the dinner.

  We had opened our gifts that morning and were about to settle into another competitive game of Monopoly. Andy excused himself and ran upstairs to Abby's flat. Our attention turned to her while she drew a brownie from her pocket wrapped in a napkin and took a small bite before sipping her coffee, a grin spreading across her lips.

  Something was up and I pushed. "Spill it."

  "Why, dear boy, you can't think I would spoil Andy's Christmas present, would you?" She giggled.

  Sebastian looked at me, confused. Just then the front door opened and Andy was backing into the room carrying a large package.

  "Merry Christmas!"

  When he turned around, he was holding a large canvas. It was an oil painting of two people lying on a sofa. On closer inspection, it was of us in our living room. The sun was streaming in the bay window and we were lying on our overstuffed leather sofa taking a nap. I had convinced Sebastian to get the sofa to replace the uncomfortable fancy one he brought from New York. I stood up and took a step closer, in awe of what was before us. It was beautiful. In the painting I had my arm wrapped around Sebastian, holding him to my chest, my face nestled in his hair. His face was so peaceful. The closer I looked, the more amazed I became. There was so much warmth in the way he captured us, and the detail in the way he caught the wisp of Sebastian's hair across his forehead and the sunlight on his face was incredible. You could see the love.

  "Andy! How did you do this?" Sebastian's shout pulled me out of my stunned silence as he moved towards the painting.

  "Well… everyone tells me to paint what I see." He shrugged his shoulders. "I came downstairs from Abby's one afternoon and found you guys asleep. I grabbed my camera and took a pic so I could use it as a basis for the painting. You guys looked so special I wanted to capture the moment."

  The pride in his face was priceless.

  Abby cackled at his response. Literally cackled. "I have been telling him forever how good he is but he still had doubts. I think now that he has seen your reactions, he believes it."

  Sebastian ran his fingers along the edge of the canvas. "Andy, you have a gift. I know you will have a very successful career as an artist."

  Andy leaned the painting against the wall and stepped back with Sebastian. "Really? Be honest. Really?"

  Slipping his arm around Andy's shoulder, he leaned down and kissed the boy on top of his head as I stood next to him. "I have no doubt, Andy. You have a great career ahead of you." Slipping his arms around Sebastian, Andy buried his head into his chest and let out a muffled thank you.

  Going to the fireplace, Sebastian removed one of his prized paintings and cleared the mantel. He placed the oil on the mantel, centering it. "It deserves a place of honor. Andy, we'll get it framed this week. What do you think?"

  Andy simply nodded his head.

  "Perfect." Abby raised her brownie before taking another bite.

  If the emotional level of the room didn't drop a notch, I would cry. "We have chocolate cake and ice cream in the kitchen. Why don't I get us dessert and put a fresh pot of coffee on? Abby, are you still up for a game of Monopoly?"

  I excused myself to pull it together. Leaning against the kitchen counter, I took a deep breath. The closeness and intimacy with just the three of them was overwhelming, and I needed a break before I made a fool of myself. This was what a real family felt like. I had a family with the Andersons, my foster family, but never the love and caring that was in the other room.

  *****

  Dinner was to be a casual affair with leftovers the day after Christmas. As much as Andy adored Abby, he felt Elias was not ready to meet her yet. He met Elias for a movie that afternoon and they would be over for dinner later, leaving me to deal with an anxious Sebastian. I couldn't understand why he was so stressed. He circled the living room and dining room adjusting things and peeking out the window. When the phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin. I did my best to contain a laugh when it turned out to be a wrong number as he slammed down the phone.

  "Some people don't even know how to dial a phone!"

  "Sebastian, why are you so nervous?"

  He looked at me as if I were an idiot. "What do we know about this boy? What if he doesn't like us? This is Andy's first boyfriend. We have to make a good impression. This is important to Andy."

  I had to stop this before he had a meltdown. Pulling him into my arms I kissed his cheek and rubbed his back. "You're spinning your wheels, baby. Listen to yourself. Everything will be fine. Andy has a good head on his shoulders. He's a good judge of people. I'm sure Elias is a good kid, just like Andy. Take a deep breath and just relax." I felt him inhale and let a breath out. "Why don't I get us a glass of wine while you put some music on?"

  Heading back to the living room with a bottle of Merlot and two wine glasses I heard the strains of 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I found Sebastian with his arms outstretched, spinning in the middle of the room then swinging his hips rhythmically. There was a smile spreading across his lips and his eyes were closed as if he were in a trance. I stood there, not wanting to interrupt the moment he seemed to need so badly. The song ended and something by the Bee Gees came on and he stopped.

  Opening his eyes, he saw me and gave a sheepish smile, a blush forming on his cheeks. "I needed that."

  "I loved watching you. Feel better?" I offered him a glass as he sat on the sofa. Sitting next to him, I poured. "Everything will be fine."

  Taking a sip from his glass, he leaned back on the sofa, looking at the ceiling. "I never used to worry so much. I never used to care what other people thought. Now look at me." Grinning, he glanced at me. "I've turned into some worrisome old queen." He lifted his glass and took another sip.

  Grabbing his chin, I gave it a little shake. "No, you now have real things that are important to you. Things like family, friends, a career, and a young man you think the world of that you don't want to disappoint. What you need to know is that there is no way you could ever disappoint him."

  I pointed to the oil painting hanging over the mantel. "Why don't we copy that and wait for them to arrive?" Taking the wine glass from his hand, I set them on the coffee table and went to turn the music down. Sliding behind him, I stretched out on the sofa and held him close. His breathing began to slow, and I felt him place a hand over mine as we both let out a comfortable sigh and relaxed.

  *****

  I was half awake and heard the front gate squeak and patted his chest with my hand.

  "What?"

  "They're here."

  He bolted upright.

  "What!"

  We heard the front door open and looked towards the hall.

  "Hi guys!" Andy and a very tall young man next to him were standing in the doorway. Andy had a big grin on his face and slipped his hand into the other boy's. "I guess you could say these are my parents. The one with the shocked expression on his face is Sebastian. The calm one is Isaac. They're my guardians. This is Elias."

  The kid must have been just over six feet and towered over our Andy. He had long, wavy, dark brown hair, gold wire-rimmed glasses, a lanky frame and narrow face that appeared gentle. His clothes were baggy for his frame. He gave a simple wave with his hand. Sebastian stood up and made his way over while I pulled myself together and rose. Composing himself, Sebastian became ever the perfect host.

  "Elias, it's good to meet you. Isaac and I would like to welcome you to our home. Can I get you something to drink? Wine? Scratch that. Water, lemonade, or maybe coffee?"

  The kid looked a little embarrassed. "We had large sodas at the movie. Could I use your bathroom?"

  "Of course. Second door on your right." I could tell in his voice that Sebastian was smiling.

/>   Making my way over to the two of them, I slipped my arm over Andy's shoulder. "He seems like a nice young man."

  He looked at both of us. "At least he didn't see you at it on the sofa." Giving us a wink, Andy headed to the kitchen. He turned before stepping through the door. "I'm getting us some bottles of water. Do you want some wine?" He shook his head as we heard him chuckle.

  Sebastian looked at me with a little frown. "How long before he stops reminding me?"

  "For that one little eye opener?" I leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips as I squeezed his shoulder. "I think it will be awhile."

  Andy returned with the bottles of water and sat in one of the armchairs, tapping his foot until Elias stepped into the room. He was about to sit in the opposite chair when Andy patted the front of his chair and grinned while spreading his legs. Elias slid between them, leaned back, and tilted his head up while Andy kissed his forehead. I couldn't help but smile at the affection between them. I noticed the shock on Sebastian's face when I glanced at him, but it morphed into a smile. My hand slipped into his as we looked back at the boys. They were both smiling at us.

  "Isaac? Why don't we go warm up dinner and let the boys settle in?" He stood up, not letting go of my hand as he reached for his wine and led me through the dining room to the kitchen, leaving the boys to their privacy.

  Once we were in the kitchen, he closed the door and turned looking like he was about to squeal. "They are so cute!"

  "Simmer down. They are both real young. Who knows where this could lead? Right now, it could just be a first romance or maybe something more real. Let's heat up dinner. I'll warm the oven for the turkey. You grab the sides and set them on the counter for the microwave."

  We set about getting dinner ready, but my mind wandered to the scene in our living room. They were cute. It warmed my heart to see the spark between them, and the happiness on Andy's face. Elias seemed like a sweet boy. We hadn't talked much, but I hoped that would be remedied over dinner. I knew it would be difficult, but we had to keep our promise that even though we would ask questions, it would not become an interrogation.