Such Violent Delights: A Holiday Paranormal Romance Anthology

by S. L. Jennings

  “Penguin!” Scrooge barked, shutting the bird’s beak with a snap. “Shut your beak. Have you not learned?”

  “He thinks I talk too much,” Penguin whispered to me.

  “You do,” Scrooge grumbled, taking a deep guzzle from his teacup.

  “Please take a treat, before he becomes surly and stingy and ends our party.” Penguin shoved the platter in my face.

  “You mean he’s not now?” My eyebrows lifted.

  “Oh no, Ms. Alice. This is a good mood. You have no idea.” Penguin looked around us like he was waiting for someone to pop out, then leaned closer to me. “We are taking a stand.”

  “Against?”

  “Penguin!” Scrooge sat up, scowling.

  “The one who took joy from this land.” Penguin spit out quickly. “The blood-red Queen.”

  “Penguin, shut up.” Scrooge stood to his full height, his chest puffing out.

  I had been hearing a lot about this Queen. Everyone seemed to fear and hate her.

  “Frosty told me something about Christmas no longer being allowed here—.”

  “Frosty?” Scrooge jerked to me, dread and fury swirled in the one word like a snowstorm.

  “Oh no. Oh no.” Penguin waddled away, his flippers fretfully whirling about.

  “You have seen the snowman?” Scrooge’s tense demeanor snapped my attention back to him, his eyes tearing into my flesh.

  “Y-y-yes.” Anxiety crawled over me as I stood up in defense. “Why?”

  “Where?” Scrooge strode to me like a bull, making me stumble back, his nearness cramming conflicting emotions through me, the heat of his body skating over my skin. “When?”

  “Right before the maze. Right before I found you here.”

  “Shit.” Scrooge’s jaw twitched, a nerve dancing. He pinched the bridge of his nose before he twisted around. “Hare! Wake up.”

  Sluggishly Hare’s lids lifted, then drooped again. He muttered under his breath, folding his ears over his eyes.

  “Now! They will be here soon.” Scrooge yelled, making the twins yelp, jump off their chairs, and start frantically darting around the table chanting Claus is coming to town, but this time it sounded haunting instead of cheerful.

  The fluffy, beautiful white hare, adorable in his hideous Christmas sweater, opened his eyes, looking around, a frown hinting on his mouth. “Well, fuuuuck.”

  Chapter 5

  As if I was being swirled around in a snow globe, commotion moved around me, pulling my nerves into frayed strings. Scrooge swept his arm over the table, sending plates, food, and beverages crashing into the brush, trying to hide the evidence. The penguin unplugged the twinkle lights, leaving the chandelier glowing over the small garden. The elves did nothing but uselessly scurry around, knocking into each other.

  “What’s going on?” I followed Scrooge, his alarm spilling over onto me. “Who’s coming?”

  “Her soldiers. Maybe her.” He stomped on a cookie, crushing it under his boot. “No doubt, I’ve pissed her off enough to come herself.”

  “Who? This queen?”

  “Hare. Get your ass up.” He ignored me, yelling at his friend.

  “Oh, go screw yourself, Scrooge.” The hare moaned, but hopped down off his seat, bouncing on his one leg. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

  Surly rabbit.

  “Fine. Next time I’ll let her take you.” Scrooge shot back. “Take the other one this time.”

  The hare rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, stripping off his sweater and tossing it back in the bushes.

  “Tell me what’s going on,” I reached out, touching the man’s arm, the same sparks rolling through me. He jolted away from my touch, twisting to me, glowering at my hands like they were snakes. Did he feel it too?

  “What the fuck are you wearing?” He snarled, his gaze roaming over my body.

  “My work outfit.”

  “Work? What does a slutty elf do for a living exactly?”

  “Excuse me, asshole.” I folded my arms over my chest. “Are you calling me a slut just because of my outfit? You’re not one of those kinds of guys, are you?”

  “What kind are you talking about, Ms. Liddell?” A malicious smile quirked the side of his mouth as he stepped into me, our bodies lining up. Holy chestnuts. Though nothing about him was small enough to roast on an open fire. Instead, I felt like he placed me directly in the flames. Everything about him made me go senseless.

  “You’re the one to come here to this place dressed like that? Do you want to be killed?

  “Killed?” My eyes widened, fear causing me to shove him back. “I didn’t come here on purpose.”

  “Do you know what happens to girls who dress like you are?”

  “Are you fucking serious?” I stepped into him, poking his chest. “I would be quite happy to get me, and my slutty elf costume, out of here. Be home with a glass of wine, sitting by the fire, thinking this was all a dream. Not stuck with you here in bizarro land where Christmas icons want to kill you like Chucky dolls! So, shove your chauvinistic alpha mindset up your ass.”

  He stared down at me. Rage rode over his shoulders, his body tense as he loomed over me.

  Fear. Desire. Hate. The emotions caught the air in my lungs like butterflies in a net. Everywhere his body touched mine felt on fire. The world around us seemed to blur, our eyes locked in a showdown.

  I was always impulsive and quick to act. I had jumped into many bad relationships because of it. But deep down I always knew, it wasn’t about them, it was the thrill of something new. The hunt. Half the time I didn’t even like them.

  I vowed to myself after my ex-boss Martin, fired me and replaced me with his newer toy, I would never jump into anything again.

  This man before me was stupid sexy, but I wouldn’t let myself become vulnerable again. Whatever feelings were bumping around in my stomach, they weren’t real. I shoved them down, biting my lip.

  His eyes sparked, his gaze going to my mouth as he licked his lips, making me forget everything I just promised myself.

  “Scrooge!” The hare yelled, breaking the bubble we had been in. The commotion and sounds zooming in like someone unmuted a TV. A drum near us beat in my ear like a death rattle.

  “Fuck.” Scrooge grabbed my hand, twisted around, tugging me back to the table.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Hare frowned up at his friend.

  “Nothing,” he clipped.

  “Riiiight,” Hare snorted, shaking his head. “Thought my kind were horny bastards. Though it’s about time for you.”

  “Shut up, Hare, and do your job,” Scrooge snarled.

  The sounds of drums and calls like a drill sergeant were just around the bushes.

  “No problem.” Hare shoved at the rickety table, tipping it over to make a barrier, the last bits of food and china crashing into the snow.

  “Holy shit!” The exclamation popped from my mouth, my eyes widening on the objects strapped underneath the table. It took me a moment to realize the large candy canes weren’t hidden treats. Some were sharpened into blades, the end so sharp it would go straight through you. Another candy cane looked to be hollowed out, like a rifle. Various candy swords, knives, guns, and what looked like a water gun were fastened along the wood.

  The elves and penguin ran around, joining us, all reaching for a weapon. Dee grabbed the water gun, shoving snow and rocks into the chamber and cocking it as if it were a handgun. She climbed onto a chair so she could see over the table, pointing her weapon at the garden entrance, her disfigured side facing me. She looked like some bad-ass warrior elf. Her brother quickly joined her, strapping a snowball holder around his hips. It had to hold over twenty snowballs. Snowballs filled with huge, sharp rocks. Penguin grabbed a small hollowed out candy cane, loading it with bits of coal. All their earlier silliness was gone.

  “Grab a weapon.” Scrooge nudged me, reaching around to take the bag of coal from Penguin. “You’re in this now whether you like it or not.
”

  “Oh. No. Not my fight.” My gaze continued to dart to the opening, the sound of marching growing closer. What was coming for us? Could I die here? Couldn’t I hold up my hands and declare myself Switzerland? This wasn’t even my realm.

  Scrooge snorted, his heated gaze once again moving up and down me. “It is now.” He smirked, crouching behind the table, pointing his loaded candy cane at the entrance, handing the bag to Hare.

  “In that outfit, you are not only part of it, but you’re basically asking for trouble, sweetheart.” Hare bounced on his one leg, bounding up on a chair like the others to see over. He loaded his gun, shoving a candy sword into a holster.

  “Is this world stuck in outdated macho beliefs?” A strange chuckle came from Scrooge at my statement, the hare rolling his eyes. “Or is it just you two? Maybe I’m on the wrong side. You guys might be the bad guys. Maybe I should be with the other side.”

  “It has nothing to do with you being a woman, but please by all means.” Scrooge motioned for me to leave, no emotion reflecting in his voice. “One thing you’ll learn quickly here, Ms. Liddell, there is no good or bad. Right or wrong. Up or down. Nothing is ever what it seems. Including you. Understanding this is the only way you will survive.”

  A loud drum banged, sounding a few feet away, causing my heart to do jumping jacks in my throat. I reached for a candy cane gun and, wordlessly, Scrooge handed me the coal pebble bag, our eyes meeting briefly.

  Of all the crazy things I had seen here so far, for some reason I felt he was not only the most dangerous, but the most insane.

  I’m not sure what I expected to come around the corner, but wooden toy soldiers weren’t on my list, which, looking back, was stupid. That should have been the most obvious.

  Identical, with rosy cheeks and short dark hair, most were painted in the classic blue trousers, red coat with gold embellishments, and a very tall black hat and chin guard trimmed in more gold. On their right breast was a black heart, and each held a slim rifle, which looked to have spade-shaped daggers attached to it. The one who stood in front was dressed differently: red pants, blue and gold coat, a black hat with gold, but his had a red feather and a large gold heart, identifying him as the general.

  They lined up outside the entrance of the garden in such meticulous rows, you could not decipher anyone behind the first as they bled into the one before them. I had to admit it was a very good battle technique. You didn’t know how many were there to fight.

  “Mr. Scrooge!” The general hollered, his wooden face showing no expression, his painted-on lips moving and resembling an old cartoon. His voice carried as though he were speaking to a crowd of hundreds, not the six of us. “You are charged with throwing a Holiday party, an accusation of high treason against the allegiance to the Crown. You are hereby requested to appear in high court and may be prosecuted for sedition. If found guilty, you will be executed, by guillotine.”

  Executed? Guillotine? Tinsel toast! This place was not fooling around.

  “If? Sure, I believe that. Damn, I hate that wooden fucker.” Hare muttered, clearing his throat, yelling out. “Hey, kindling, you can tell her highness she can shove her request up her ass!”

  Scrooge groaned, shooting a look at Hare.

  “What?” Hare shrugged. “Like you were gonna go back and be her good little soldier again.”

  Scrooge made a noise in his throat, shaking his head.

  “Go back?” The question came out before I could even think.

  “You think your boy here was always such a rebel?”

  “Hare,” Scrooge growled in warning.

  “Took for him to meet me for him to see the light.”

  “Hare, shut your trap,” Scrooge snarled, tugging off his top hat. “You’re getting as bad as Penguin.”

  “Hey.” Penguin looked over, his fins open in a “what the hell” motion. “I don’t talk that much.”

  “Or that little,” Hare snorted.

  “All of you be quiet for once.” Scrooge adjusted his gun, looking down the candy cane scope. “And don’t flatter yourself, Hare, I was never hers.”

  Hare grinned, showing off his buck teeth. There was more to the story, but we had no time to dwell on it.

  “Come out, you coward,” the general yelled. “Along with your co-conspirators, Mr. Hare, Mr. Penguin, and the Puck Twins.”

  Dee and Dum giggled insanely like they were finding tremendous joy from this and not about to be taken in for treason.

  “I’m sorry, knave, but did the Queen not paint on your ears?” Hare adjusted on the chair. “Or do I need to show you personally what you can do with that bitch’s request?”

  A wave of shocked gasps rippled through the rows of soldiers.

  “Sedition,” the general hissed, taking a few steps back. “How dare you call Her Majesty that. She is your Queen who demands your respect.”

  “She is not my queen, nor did she earn my respect.” Hare’s voice tightened, his shoulders rolling back. “Now return to your queen, as the good little wooden boys you are, or get to the point. I’m tired of all your faces. Think you need to stop going to the same stylist.”

  “Formation!” The general barked orders at his soldiers, holding up his arm. The soldiers stepped out, stair-stepping the one in front of them until the brush hid them from view. They raised their guns.

  “On my mark.”

  “Holy shit!” I gaped at Hare. “What the hell? Please tell me those are toy guns as well!”

  “Nope.” Hare licked at his front teeth, his little cotton butt wiggling in excitement. He was too damn cute to be so surly.

  “Let me warn you.” Scrooge set his gun ridge on the table, his finger on the trigger. “Coal bullets kill as well as metal ones you use in earth’s realm.”

  “You’ve been to earth?” I asked, keeping my eyes locked on the troops about to attack us. He was the only one so far who seemed most “human” in this crazy place, but he could shift into a carnivorous Christmas stocking for all I knew.

  Scrooge shifted ignoring my question. “Shoot until you run out of bullets, Ms. Liddell.”

  I licked my lips at his statement, my stomach coiling up in a ball.

  “Chief, we’re with you till the end.” Dee nodded over at Scrooge. Half her face in a smile, the disfigured part tugged her lips down, which created a very unsettling image.

  “To the end,” Dum repeated. Penguin and Hare muttered the same.

  “Ready. Set.” The general counted down. My heart slammed against my ribs. If I died here, did I actually die, or would I wake up at the workshop finding this was all a dream? For some reason, I knew in my gut I would not be waking up again if I was killed here.

  This place suddenly felt more real than my life on earth ever did. Every sight and smell magnifying, making me feel more alive than I ever had before.

  “Attack!” The general’s arm went down, signaling them to shoot.

  That’s when everything went to hell.

  Chapter 6

  “Line them up and take them down! Like they’re all on a conveyer belt!” Hare sang, his ears twitching with glee. “Keep coming, asswipes!”

  Coal bullets and hard peppermint candies whizzed by my head, cracking into the thin wooden table, rattling the chandelier above my head. Rock-filled snowballs volleyed through the air as Dee and Dum continued to laugh and bounce off each other like this was playtime at the park. A few hit their targets, knocking soldiers to the ground. Wood chips splintered from the hit soldiers, their bodies dropping.

  When a piece of peppermint sliced my temple and blood oozed from the wound, I realized how real this was.

  I was a tough, independent girl, but when you are put into an obscure war zone, you don’t feel as Rambo-like as you imagine yourself to be. My hands shook as I fired the candy gun. I was against firearms, but as a single girl living alone in New York, I had learned to shoot one. My father had taken Dinah and me out to teach us. I could hold my own.

  Our position
was actually a good one. The entrance was tight, and only a few soldiers could progress into the garden at a time. They were quickly shot down, making room for the endless string of toys after.

  “How many are there?” I shouted at Scrooge as more and more came. My gaze darted to the emptying coal bag.

  “Thousands.” He grinned at me. “The Queen can make endless puppets.”

  “What?” My mouth dropped. “Thousands? How the hell are we supposed to fight against so many? We only have a handful of bullets left.”

  Scrooge shrugged, a playful glint in his eyes. “But it’s sure fun to go out this way. Take as many as you can with you.”

  I sat back, realizing their declaration “until the end” was not hypothetical.

  “But what’s the point if the Queen can make more? Your death will be real, right?” Maybe I was missing something.

  “Yes. Heads lost here are just as missed as they’d be in any other realm.” Scrooge winked at me. “But what’s the fun in that? Better to go out doing something you enjoy.”

  “You are all truly insane.” I gaped, looking around at all of them.

  “No. It is you who are,” Scrooge replied, reloading his gun. “There is no freedom in living if you are only living.”

  “What?” I exclaimed, my head tired of figuring out this place and their riddles.

  A ping hitting a light bulb above my head rained glass down on my head, twisting my attention above me.

  “Better get back to using that.” Scrooge nodded at my weapon. “You are a natural at this game, Ms. Liddell.”

  “I love how you think this is a game.” I pointed the cane at the fresh group of soldiers who were stepping into the garden.

  “Why shouldn’t I? Life is a game. You only need to know how to play it to survive.”

  I actually couldn’t argue.

  “I’m out.” Hare sat back on the chair, his head and shoulders sagging in a pout, like he was the first one caught in a game of hide and seek.