Broken Seed

by R J Machado De Quevedo

  “Hang on a minute!” I said, realizing I had an exhibit to show her to prove my case of sanity.

  “I’ll be here,” I heard her call as I got up and rushed out of the room.

  I ran down the hall and down the stairs to the laundry room. I rummaged through the laundry basket, throwing the clothes behind me like a mole digging a burrow in the dirt. Finally, nearly at the bottom, I saw my gray work slacks from Saturday night. I pulled them out and plunged my hand into the right-side pocket. My fingertips touched the thin stiff paper. Eager, I pulled it out and dropped the pants back in the hamper.

  I looked at the receipt and breathed out a big sigh of relief. “Thank God. Thank you, God,” I prayed. This would work perfectly!

  I threw the rest of the clothes I had scattered all over the laundry room floor back into the hamper and ran back up the stairs. Elisabeth was still sitting in the same place, nearly the same position except she had extended her right leg and had it dangling off the side of the bed. She looked at me with eyebrows raised in question.

  “Just had to get something to show you in a few minutes,” I said, a little breathless. I had taken the stairs two at a time in a run. You try it and see if you don’t breathe a tad bit harder once in a while.

  “You can’t show me now?” Liz asked casually, though I could see how anxious she was to look at whatever I was holding so secretively in my hand.

  “Not yet. Once I get to that part, I’ll show you,” I said apologetically as I stuffed it under my pillow.

  “All right,” she said quietly. I could tell she wanted to push the issue but wisely let it go. She was about to get answers out of me and didn’t want to press her luck or scare me off before I had even begun.

  “Okay, well, I came home after work on Saturday night and ended up falling asleep on my bed. That part I do remember clearly. Then I woke up.” I paused. It felt too soon into the story for her to doubt my sanity. But here goes nothing.

  Elisabeth nodded encouragingly, behaving herself.

  “I woke up somewhere else. I didn’t know where I was at first. Well, I didn’t know where I was for hours actually. I was alone, and I didn’t know how I had gotten there.” I looked up into Elisabeth’s face, expecting to see skepticism or fear for my mental stability. What I saw instead was interest. She had unconsciously leaned toward me a little and was watching me intently.

  “Then what did you do?” she asked, her voice calm and conversational as if she was afraid to spook me like a wild deer and I’d run off without telling her more.

  “Hmm…well, I felt sick. Sort of like I was hung over. Except a lot worse. I threw up, and once I got myself together, I went walking, looking for help. I was so scared, Liz. I thought I’d been kidnapped or someone was pulling a prank on me. But there wasn’t anyone around. No one was there to gloat, and no one was following me. Not a soul. In fact, the entire street was deserted. Unnaturally so. It felt like I was in the Twilight Zone or something. There weren’t even any road signs. Not a single one.” My voice was calm, but I felt my stomach churning as I told her.

  I took in a big breath and shook my head. I hadn’t actually let myself think too hard on anything I had gone through the last few days. I had just dealt with everything else as things came up and tried to hold myself together and press on.

  Elisabeth took my hands in hers and gave them a little shake to emphasize her coming words. I opened my eyes and met hers. I hadn’t even realized I had closed them.

  “Melanie. It’s all right. Whatever you have to tell me, it will be all right. You’re here, right now. With me. You made it through whatever you are about to share with me. You will make it through after you’re done. You’re not alone in this. You can trust me.” Her soft voice was earnest and honest. Her eyes held unconditional love and understanding.

  “God, I don’t deserve a friend like you,” I said and reached over to give her a hug.

  She hugged me back, and I finally felt reassured. I felt ready now. She was my Elisabeth. She’d always stand by me. We both let go at the same time and settled back into our warmed spots on the bed ready to continue the conversation.

  “Mel, I’m just going to listen. I’ll do my best to save all my questions until the end so you won’t have to keep stopping. Sometimes, it’s easier if you keep going. Get it all out at once.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. Okay, I’ll just…tell you everything,” I said, resigned to do it. “I’ll just tell you like it was,” I said and continued on.

  And I did. I told everything I could remember with explicit detail. Everything I saw, every sound I heard, every feeling of being chased, followed, or hunted. I told her, with chills up my spine, about every supernatural vision and demonic or angelic creature I had seen including the most unworldly, sexually appealing man alive, Jared. I also told her about the sweet and incredibly old shop owners, Angelica and Obadiah.

  However, I suddenly knew I was not to share with anyone, not even Elisabeth, the contents of that hidden back room that the yearning and undeniable pull from deep within my gut had led me to.

  Nor did I mention anything about the book. I also didn’t tell her about the Lion God had scorched like a retractable embossment into my hand. That too, I knew I was to keep to myself. For now.

  I could see the curiosity flare up in Elisabeth’s eyes as I edited out the rooms full description and what I had found in there. I had described in detail everything else I had seen and smelled and touched up until that moment but not that. Not what was in that room. She caught onto it but did not raise a question as to why.

  Elisabeth sat engrossed as I told her all about the battle that took place inside that back room and the terrorizing manifestation of evil battling against good. I did my best to articulate God’s thunderous power and roar that had thundered through the air and crushed the evil.

  God’s powerful hand had even healed me and his Holy Spirit had exposed the lies I had believed. It was the healing of my heart and mind and the liberty that came through God’s gift of deliverance, Elisabeth had recognized within me the next morning. At hearing my explanation, she grabbed a tissue from my nightstand and dabbed at her eyes, smiling with joy as she did so.

  Elisabeth sat back down and held her knees up to her chest as I spoke. She rested her chin on her knees and held them close. I knew she was imagining my words come to life. Her fabulous mind was following me perfectly and nearly seeing everything as I described it to her. And her great capacity to empathize was let- ting her experience with me all of my fear, pain, joy, wonderment, relief, and confusion.

  “Wow,” was all she said now. “Wow,” she repeated it so quietly she must have not meant to say it out loud.

  “That’s when God even removed the physical scars, Liz.” I held out my right forearm to her, exposing the smooth unblemished skin where the five cigarette scars had been.

  She took my arm and ran her fingers cross the skin and then looked up at me, waiting.

  “God even removed the brand mark my father gave me too,” I said excitedly.

  I stood up and pulled at the elastic waistband of my pajama shorts and slipped the side down to expose my left hip. The Swastika he had branded into my hip when I was thirteen was gone too. I hadn’t even known it was gone until I had taken a shower Sunday and inspected the rest of my body. Other little scars on my knees from falling when I was a child were gone as well. Even the blisters and callouses I had on my feet from my unforgivable work shoes had vanished.

  I suddenly realized in a way, God had given me his mark to replace the ones he’d taken away. The lion on my hand. I smiled at the realization.

  Elisabeth turned me so she could see my hip better. She traced her hand along my hip as well. Not only to see it so she could believe it but to feel it and know it to be true.

  “Wow,” she quietly said once more.

  I pulled my jammie back into place and sat back down on the bed.

  “And look here,” I said, pointing to my lips.

&n
bsp; “The little scars I had from all those times my father split my mouth open are gone too.” I puckered my lips out so she could see them better.

  “Oh, yeah!” Liz said as she leaned in, her eyes level with my mouth. “I hadn’t noticed! How could I have missed it?” she said, scolding herself.

  “Maybe you were so focused on protecting me the last few days, you couldn’t. Besides, they were light and small, Liz. Give yourself a break for once. You can’t see everything all the time,” I said kindly.

  “That’s incredible,” she breathed. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was left slightly open with amazement.

  “You all right?” I asked.

  She just nodded her head and closed her mouth to compose herself and said with a slightly broken voice, “Can we pause here for a minute? I think I need to go get something to drink.”

  “Um, yeah. Sure,” I said.

  A break would be nice. Though like she said, starting and stopping did make telling a difficult story harder the first time. Yet since she had been so open to what I had to say and willing to listen without judgment or reproach so far, I didn’t think a little break would make me lose my nerve now. In fact, I was already feeling relieved and even a little excited to have my best friend share this experience with me. I wouldn’t be alone or have to keep my thoughts, however humiliating or jumbled to myself now. It was nice to have someone I could trust with all of it. Well, most of it.

  “I think I’m going to change too. Okay, Mel? I need a few minutes to process everything you’ve told me so far,” Elisabeth said. She leaned over and picked up her purse with one hand and her shoes with her other.

  “No problem, Liz. Take your time,” I called after her as she walked past me and out of my room.

  I reached over, grabbing my own empty glass and stood up. I stretched and yawned. Then I padded out of the room and back downstairs to refill my glass.

  From the kitchen, I could hear her shower running and the fan on in her bathroom. She had the master bedroom and the joining master bathroom as well. The extra bathroom in the hallway upstairs was my bathroom. It was nice having our own space for all our own stuff.

  I paused, listening to the sounds of her activity upstairs. The sound of something so normal and mundane as taking a shower made me smile. It was so familiar compared to the otherworldly conversation we had been having. I felt the last of the tension and leftover anxiety drain away as I stood and listened.

  This wasn’t so hard now that I had begun to totally recall that first night. I could do this. I was already doing it. I only had a little left from Angelica’s to explain and the things Elisabeth didn’t already know from Sunday and today left to describe to her and, in some way, relive.

  Oh, Lord.

  Tidal Wave

  Chapter Fifteen

  W hen Elisabeth joined me again in my room, she was wearing her extra-large black sleepy time shirt. It hung down to her knees, and the sleeves reached to her elbows. Her hair was in a tight wet bun, and she handed me a cup of hot coffee. She had one in her other hand for herself.

  “Thanks,” I said gratefully, taking the hot cup carefully.

  I lowered my nose to the coffee and took a whiff. I wasn’t a big coffee drinker, but Liz knew if she stirred in some chocolate syrup, real cream, a dash of cinnamon, and a touch of coco sprinkled on top, I’d give in.

  “Seemed like a good way to give us a boost. I have a feeling you still have a lot to tell me.” She sat down and settled in once again, looking expectant.

  “Right you are. How are you feeling about what I’ve shared so far?” I asked her, curious.

  Elisabeth took a sip of her coffee, thinking. “Like there are still some pieces missing. But nothing you didn’t want to tell me. More like you couldn’t. You didn’t feel it was time yet, I think. I’m okay with that, you know.” She made it a statement and not a question but smiled a reassuring smile at me anyway.

  “Correct again,” I said, sipping from my own cup.

  God, she was good. So is this coffee. Yum.

  “Ah, perfect,” I said with a satisfying sigh and took another sip.

  “I think it’s wonderful you felt the burden and weight of your childhood stripped away. I’ve known you for a long time, Melanie. And ever since I’ve known you, there has been a haunting look in the back of your eyes. A glimmer of unshed tears, a nightmare under the surface tormenting you. You’ve hidden your sorrow and pain away from the world, but I knew it was there. You’ve shared it with me so many times before but were so good at hiding it from others. Not trusting anyone would love you anyway,” Liz said gently.

  “The grief of losing your sister, the early loss of your mother, all the terrible abuse you witnessed and sustained yourself. Those kinds of experiences leave their mark. And you were covered with them. Inside and out. I know how hard you fought not to let it define you and become another victim of the hate and poverty. You moved out here with me, went to college, and left the past in the past. But it’s always been hunting you down. And you’ve always been running away from it.” Elisabeth’s eyes shone with a touch of tears as her heart broke at the pain and abuse of my past.

  “When I saw you Sunday morning, it was gone. I could see the difference instantly. I knew something extraordinary had happened to you. I had been praying for you to receive that kind of freedom for years, Mel. So when I started watching you closely on Sunday for signs of the rest of the transformation, I found it. I knew it was God who had touched you in some way. Only he would have the power to change your heart and wash your mind in such a way. But I never would have imagined it would happen in the manner in which it did, in the surroundings of where it finally took place. Speaking of which, did you ever find out where you had gone?” she said, drawing the conversation back on track.

  “Yes, I did! I was in Italy. A city called Turin,” I answered. “Angelica let it slip, I think. I nearly passed out when she told me.”

  “Italy?” Elisabeth asked, astonished. “But how did you get there?”

  “Well, I was coming to that. But first, take a look at this.” I pulled out the receipt from under my pillow and handed it to her and watched her face as her green eyes left mine and dropped to the receipt.

  “Oh…” Liz broke off as she took it gently from my hand holding it with the tips of her fingers like it was a delicate archeological find. I watched her face as she read it carefully.

  “Turin, Italy. I’ve heard of it, Melanie. But of course… Hmm. Angelica’s Antiquities? I bet I could Google this shop.” Elisabeth looked up at me, her eyes bright with the promised challenge of an investigation.

  “You don’t think I’m nuts then?” I asked, watching her flip the receipt over to look at the back, then flipped it over again to read once more. She met my eyes and held them for a moment.

  “No, Melanie. I do not think you’re the least bit crazy. Odd maybe. Strange even. A bit unique. But never crazy,” she said the last word teasingly her smile spreading to show her humor.

  “Gee, thanks. That’s reassuring.” I took the receipt back and looked at it again myself.

  “Funny how it’s in Italian and English,” I said.

  “Some European countries use both since Great Britain is so close by. It doesn’t surprise me she was speaking to you in English either,” Elisabeth said matter-of-factly.

  “Do you know what it says? The Italian bits?” I asked.

  “Well, this part says receipt.” Liz pointed to the top line under the shop name. “And this just says free gift and total,” she remarked.

  “Cool. I figured it said something like that. But I’m not the linguist so…” I trailed off. I was actually relieved it hadn’t said book. I hadn’t even thought about what I would have said if it had!

  “So, what was the free gift? What did you find in that room?” she asked me calmly with a knowing look. She knew perfectly well that was something I had deliberately left out but hadn’t pressed me for the answer yet. I guess she thought she cou
ld give it a shot and see if I’d answer.

  I looked at her. My mouth was literally unable to open to answer. The Lord was making sure I didn’t say what I wasn’t allowed to share yet even by mistake or an accidental slipup. I resorted to shrugging.

  “I see,” she said, nodding. “That’s fine. I’ll live. Tell me what else happened. That brings us up to Sunday morning, right?” she said, accepting gracefully that she wasn’t going to get all the details but was still willing to settle for most of them.

  “Yep, almost Sunday morning back here in America,” I said. It sounded funny to say that.

  “I’m all ears.” She leaned her back against the foot of my bed frame and sipped her coffee.

  I took a sip of my coffee again to wet my mouth and charged on. It tasted extra yummy tonight. A small blessing for the difficult discussion left to take place.

  I continued with my story. I told her about the Archangel Michael coming into the shop to take me back home. I had woken up at home the next morning in my own house on my own bed, dressed and refreshed.

  “I remember.” She exhaled.

  “Yes. I know,” I said wryly. “I wasn’t sure what to tell you. It didn’t all make sense yet. It still doesn’t completely.” I took a deep breath and pressed on.

  “It feels so incredibly good down deep inside my heart to finally know I am on a path God has set before me. There’s a destiny that lays waiting ahead of me to discover and uncover. It’s almost entirely in faith. I feel a thrill, but also, a great weight of responsibility on me. I know in time, it will be explained. Maybe not to my full satisfaction, but I’ll learn what I need to know all in his timing.” I was speaking passionately now, my voice fast and excited.

  Elisabeth scooted forward, hungry to uncover more of the mystery. It felt odd being the focal point to her fascination.

  I went into detail now about what really happened during our girl’s outing on Sunday when we went shopping. I explained as best I could about the overwhelming feeling of compassion I had felt for Jill as I had watched her leave the store. I had to go talk to her. She was hurting so badly inside and I could feel her pain breaking my heart as if it was my own.