by Skye Jordan
Chamuel, you dirty little bastard.
Repressed anger surges. It’s completely unexpected and uncontrollable, and I’m hit with the realization that all the strides I’ve made over the last year have been blown to hell by nothing but the sight of him.
“Wow,” he says, voice soft and reverent, “you’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”
“You mean the night I caught you practicing every position in the kama sutra with a groupie half your age?”
The words flow quicker, stronger, and more confident than I could ever have planned. I’m momentarily proud of myself, but that moment passes instantly, because there’s a knife in my heart, and I’m bleeding. Badly. All the anger and hurt I was sure I’d dealt with and dissolved creep out of the shadows and attack.
“I admit,” he says, “I made my share of mistakes.”
In truth, his only mistakes related to sleeping with other women. Aside from that, he was an amazing partner—thoughtful, giving, loving, wise. Bodhi showed me a kind of love I’d never experienced before—complete and unconditional. But then he ruined it all.
Pain eats through my chest like Pac-Man, taking chunks out of my heart and soul on the path. “What are you doing here? You of all people should have more respect than to hijack a retreat.” I take a slow deep breath, preparing for what I know I need to say even though a part of me wants him to stay. “I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome here. You have to leave. I’ll see that your conference fees are refunded.”
He makes a face, half smiling, half chagrined, and lifts his hand to scratch the back of his head. His hair was always prematurely gray at the temples, but now silver threads through the brown strands. Even after not seeing him for over a year, the gesture tells me exactly what’s coming next—something I won’t like.
I can’t believe he’s standing right here, in front of me. It’s surreal.
“I’m not attending the conference, Chloe.” He drops his hand and meets my gaze. “I’m holding it.”
My eyes narrow, and my mind darts back to the list of attendees and speakers. “I’m managing this retreat, and your name wasn’t anywhere on the list.”
“I had my retreat coordinator book the facility using my company name. Otherwise, I was afraid you would have turned the booking down.”
Fury bursts through me like a volcanic eruption. Awful, hurtful, nasty things try to fly from my mouth, but I manage to keep them inside. That’s not who I am, nor is it who I want to be. I didn’t work all this time to simply revert to the woman he cheated on. And now, I have other people depending on me to live up to my responsibilities. People who matter.
“I’ve missed you.” There is so much sincerity in his voice, his expression, I almost believe him. “I know I messed up. I take full responsibility. I was devastated when you left. Losing you was a wake-up call for me. From the moment you walked away, I’ve been looking inside myself, searching for the wounds that caused me to seek validation in other people, working on myself from the day you left. I’m not perfect, we both know that, but I know when I’m wrong, and I’ve never been as wrong as I was to hurt you.”
My heart is throbbing in my throat. Pain sears the inside of my chest. I can’t count the number of times I’ve played out this exact scenario in my fantasies. But those ended a long time ago, after I accepted Bodhi as a lesson, not the love of my life.
It’s easy to see why I fell so damn hard for him. He’s fifteen years older than me, but he’s sexy beyond measure. Physically, he’s still Ralph Lauren handsome with crystal-blue eyes, tanned skin, and a lean, muscular body. He’s mentally and emotionally intelligent and has charisma and charm to spare. But even beneath all that, I found a tender, damaged heart so much like my own. No one has ever understood me the way he once did.
But I’m not that woman anymore, in large part due to him. Why he was sent to me, what I have to learn from this is going to take more time and thought to decipher. All I can do is be me—the new me, the post-Bodhi me.
“I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and rebuilding in the last year too,” I tell him. “This is my future, and by booking this retreat without letting me know, you’ve, yet again, proven that my needs come second to yours. You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still the selfish, self-absorbed man I walked away from over a year ago.”
4
Xavier
The marina’s lot is packed with vehicles when I arrive, so I park the cruiser behind Chloe’s ancient Toyota Corolla. The woman has money, but she sure isn’t a fan of spending it. I figure that comes from her uncertain childhood. She really does impress the hell out of me.
I stand from the cruiser and stretch, scanning the group on the patio. I spot Laiyla and Levi and search for Chloe as I make my way that direction.
About thirty people are milling around the marina’s market, chatting. Levi did a bang-up job on the renovations of this place. His original plan estimated the project would take two years, but he made it happen in one.
He blew out the market and made it three times the original size, added a bar and grill and a patio overlooking the marina. The new conference center up the road can handle several hundred people in various-sized groups, and there are a number of outdoor wedding venues scattered around the property. Plus, of course, the five-star restaurant that also looks out over the lake, and they’ve been talking about leasing a large portion of the property to wineries for their vineyards.
The night is cool, and the lake is a serene expanse of darkness that always takes some stress out of my shoulders. The fact that I feel a deep sense of belonging here is another stress reliever. Since my mom died, quickly followed by my partner on the force, Keith, my only family has been Karen and Piper, Keith’s wife and daughter. Even though I followed them here to provide support for Piper, I’ve never really belonged with them. My friendships with Levi, Ben, Laiyla, KT, and Chloe have really given me the kind of roots I haven’t felt in a long time.
I catch sight of KT. She’s already looking my way, and her expression slows my steps. I glance at Laiyla and Levi, and their expressions also confirm stress. KT lifts her chin toward a corner of the patio near the back door of the market.
I stop walking and assess the pair standing there—Chloe and a man I don’t know. She’s uncharacteristically tense—arms crossed, shoulders stiff, expression pulled tight. My protective instinct flares hot.
I wander that direction, hoping to get a hint of the conversation so I can decide how to handle this.
I haven’t been able to stop fantasizing about the maybes of tonight all day. Maybe I can coax a kiss. Maybe I can get her to agree to go out with me. Maybe she’ll finally give in to the heat between us.
But she looks ready to come apart at the seams, and not in a good way. I don’t like the way whoever she’s talking to keeps shifting closer, effectively corralling Chloe into a space boarded on two sides by railing.
“I want to make things right between us,” the guy is saying. “I knew you wouldn’t agree to talk things out unless you had incentive—”
“You mean leverage.”
“—and the conference gives us all the time we’ll need to clear things up. We can meditate and pray over our reconciliation and come together even stronger…”
Reconcili-what? This could only be Bodhi. The fucker who hurt her so badly, she won’t even consider taking a chance on someone else—namely me. He’s about five eleven and one hundred sixty or seventy pounds. He’s got what I’d call a runner’s body, lean and compact, and at first glance, I’d say he’s way too old for Chloe.
“We are not getting back together.” Chloe’s words might be strong, but her voice and her body language are weak, as if it’s taking everything she’s got to turn this guy down.
“I miss you,” he says. “I still love you, and I want you back. We were so good together—”
“Not good enough to keep you from sleeping with other women.”
“I was weak, but I’ve changed
, I swear. Give me a chance to prove it to you.”
I glance at the people around us, and a fair number of them are watching the exchange. Chloe is keeping her voice down, but her body language screams self-preservation.
“Go away.” The pain in her voice feels like a knife in my gut. “Go away and stay away.”
If either of them turned their heads, they’d see I am well within earshot and listening, but they’re laser focused on each other.
“I know this is a surprise,” Bodhi says. “I know I hurt you, but you and I are meant to be together. We’re twin flames. We need each other to thrive.”
Twin what?
In my peripheral vision, I see KT take a step toward them. I barely lift my hand to signal her to stop, and she does. I don’t doubt KT would deck this guy for upsetting Chloe, and as much as I’d enjoy watching KT unleash her kickboxing skills on this fucker, I really don’t want to take anyone in tonight. Especially not a friend.
“I don’t need you.” Chloe drops her arms and shifts on her feet, about to walk away. “That’s just one of the many things I’ve learned over the last year. I don’t care about your new company or what you hope to prove, but booking this retreat under a different name was a shitty thing to do. If you think you’ve trapped me, you’re wrong. I’ll cancel this retreat in a heartbeat if you pull any bullshit.”
My instinct is to jump in, even if there’s no legit reason. I want to stand up for her, alleviate her stress, but I don’t have a clear reason to interfere.
Then the guy wraps his hand around Chloe’s and holds on when she tries to pull away. “Chloe, please—”
“Let. Go,” she demands through clenched teeth.
“I love you so much—”
“When a lady says ‘let go,’” I say, approaching them, “you let go.”
My voice draws two surprised gazes. Bodhi takes a look at my uniform and lets go of Chloe’s hand. “There’s no problem here, Officer.”
My hackles rise at the dismissive tone. One thing I see here more than I saw in San Francisco are snobs. These hills are filled with mansions and money, and for most, that comes with a certain amount of attitude.
“Looks like you’re coming on to my girl. That qualifies as a problem in my world.” I step up next to Chloe, sling my arm around her shoulders, and playfully drag her close to kiss her head. When she reaches for my hand hanging across her shoulder, I curl my fingers around hers, keeping her from pushing me away. “And I’m a cop, so I’m pretty much an expert on problems. Isn’t that right, baby?”
This is her chance to call me out and tell Bodhi I’m a liar. To brush me off like a bullshitter. Instead, she presses her lips into a thin line, her expression both frustrated and relieved. The fact she didn’t dismiss me zings a thrill along my spine, I can’t lie.
I return my gaze to Bodhi and find stark surprise on his face, as if he never imagined Chloe would move on.
“You must be the ex.” I say, full of she’s-all-mine-now goodwill.
His expression is suddenly disappointed, pained, but he manages a smile and offers his hand. “I’m Bodhi.”
Instead of shaking his hand, I thread my fingers through Chloe’s, much the way she did earlier in the day during my massage, and rest the other hand on the butt of my weapon. “Where did you come up with that name?”
Bodhi glances at Chloe, and when she says nothing, he returns his gaze to mine. “What do you mean?”
“I mean your given name is Shannon Leslie Duncan, and you've got quite the rap sheet. In juvie from the time you turned twelve, then graduating to prison by eighteen. Grand larceny, armed robbery, drugs, fraud—”
“Xavier.” Chloe’s reprimand is terse, and her hand tightens on mine with enough force to make my eyes water.
I turn my gaze on Chloe. Her eyes are hot, but not in a good way. I lift my hand from my weapon, cup her cheek, and soften my voice. “Hey, baby. Couldn’t wait to get home to you.”
Then I drop my head and kiss her. She sips a breath a millisecond before our lips touch, and her eyes stay open—until my mouth moves on hers. Then her lashes flutter and fall, and some of the tension leaves her body. She doesn’t exactly kiss me back, but she lets her mouth linger when she could pull away. As far as kisses go, this one is beyond chaste, but I feel like one of the invisible walls between us has shattered.
“Well.” Bodhi clears his throat, and Chloe pulls away. Her big blue eyes search mine before lowering to my chest, and her face flushes a beautiful pink.
“I’d better greet my guests. I’ll talk to you in the morning, Chloe.” Bodhi is clearly disappointed but surprisingly cordial. “And I suppose I’ll see you at the welcome dinner tomorrow night, Xavier.”
“I suppose so.” When Bodhi turns away, but while he’s still within earshot, I say, “When is this over, baby? You look good enough to eat.”
She looks at me with so many emotions, I can’t read them all, then she glances around at the crowd. I follow her gaze and find a lot more people looking at us now. Levi’s got a grin on his face that looks like a high five, and Laiyla’s dropped her jaw. KT’s expression is harder to read. More suspicious.
Becky Wade, an employee of the market who’s a few classes ahead of Piper, passes with an empty food tray on her way back inside. She shoots us both a sparkling grin. “It’s about damn time you two came out of the closet.”
As soon as Becky disappears into the market, Chloe turns a furious gaze on me. “Inside. Now.”
She turns away and enters the market. This ought to be interesting. I’ve never seen this woman the least bit upset, not in all the time I’ve known her.
I follow her inside and find her waiting outside the door to a supply closet. “Get in here.”
“I like this demanding side. Seriously sexy.”
With an exasperated huff, she heads inside the storage room and I follow, wishing we were in here for an entirely different reason. When I close the door behind me, she’s pacing, arms crossed, gaze on the floor.
It’s the first time I’ve stopped to really look at her. The dress she’s wearing is both sweet and sexy, dark pink and covered in flowers. The vee in the front is wide, exposing the plump inner curves of her breasts. The skirt swirls around her legs every time she turns. The kind of skirt a man could effortlessly slip his hands under. Her breasts press against the top every time she breathes. Her hair is down and a little tousled from her hands. I lean back against the door and rest my thumbs in my duty belt. “Damn, girl, you look gorgeous.”
“Stop it.” She paces to the end of the room and faces me, looking a little unhinged. “This is a big deal. People here know who I am. They know who Bodhi is. Most probably know we were together at one time. You just kissed me in front of my friends and clients and potential clients, not to mention people who live in town.”
“You’re welcome—”
“This isn’t funny.” Her frustration slips toward panic.
“—for getting that fucker’s hands off you,” I finish. “How do you think that would look to your friends and others in the industry?”
She stalks toward me, and the look in her eyes tells me she’s about to break. “You had no right.”
“To what? Step in to take care of a friend? You certainly weren’t doing it yourself. At least now he’ll think twice before he touches you again.” I tilt my head. “Or is that what you’re really angry about? That he’ll back off because you kissed me.”
“I— What— That’s not—” She huffs. “I did not kiss you.”
I laugh, just a little bubble that pops, then disappears. “Whatever you say.”
She covers her face with her hands, and her shoulders slump. I sigh and take a step to close the distance between us, then wrap her in my arms. I expect her to push me away or bite me or something. Instead, she leans into me, presses her forehead to my chest, and curls my uniform shirt into her hands. Then stays there.
This isn’t anything like the occasional hug we share as friends
. This is Chloe needing me, and it creates a fundamental shift somewhere deep inside.
I kiss her head, then murmur, “Want me to arrest him?”
She laughs and lifts her head. “Would it be wrong of me to say yes?”
Now I laugh too, and I find myself looking down at her, her blue eyes bright and wet. A split second before I lower my head to kiss her for real, someone knocks on the door.
“Chloe?” It’s KT.
With a sigh, I step away from the door and pull it open.
KT looks at me, then Chloe. A quiet moment expands before KT presses her hands against the jamb. “It’s about fucking time you two got together.”
“We’re not together.” The words are out of Chloe’s mouth before KT can finish the sentence.
Then Laiyla is here, and Levi’s behind her. He offers me a fist bump over the girls’ heads. “About fucking time, you two.”
“There’s nothing happening here.” Chloe releases all her air and gives me a see-what-you’ve-done look.
“All right, boys, out,” KT orders. “We need some girl time.”
5
Chloe
I can’t stop pacing.
While I shake out the tingling in my hands—something that comes with intense stress—Laiyla pulls a case of water from the bottom shelf and sits. KT leans her shoulder against the wall and crosses her arms.
“What’s going on?” Laiyla asks. “Who is that guy?”
“I can’t believe this,” I say. “I can’t fucking believe this.”
“That’s Bodhi, isn’t it?” KT says.
“What?” Laiyla says to KT. “How did you know that?”
“How did you not know that?” KT quips back.
I tent my fingers over my nose and mouth and close my eyes. The pain in my torso deepens, threatening to double me over. “Jesus Christ.”