Just Me

by L. A. Fiore

  “Are you ready for your exams?”

  “Yeah, more ready for the whole week we'll have together after.”

  The words had barely passed my lips when Bastian pulled me to my feet and kissed me, full on the mouth. He gripped my hips and pressed me up against him. Reaching for his shirt, I lifted it up to expose his magnificent abs and chest. I tossed the tee behind me and ran my hands over the hard muscles of his stomach.

  “No one's home Bastian,” I whispered before brushing my lips over his dragon tattoo.

  He growled as he lifted me into his arms. He dropped me onto the bed before he walked to the door and flipped the lock. Seeing him, his hard, muscled body in all of its inked beauty had my heart pounding nearly out of my chest because my mind was already thinking about all the fabulous things this boy was going to do to me. He pounced, covering my body with his own.

  “You look a bit wicked, Lark, what are you thinking about?”

  “How much I want you inside me.”

  Speaking of wicked, the look he gave me in response literally had my toes curling. He said not a word as his touch moved up my stomach, his lips following the trail of his hand. When his mouth settled over mine, I lost all ability for rational thought and just went with instinct.

  My tongue ran along his lower lip before I dipped it into his mouth as my hips lifted and I rubbed myself against him. He worked my shirt up over my head and I had just a moment to enjoy the wild look of him before his mouth closed over my breast through the silk of my bra. He popped my other breast free and rolled the nipple between his fingers. His dark head lowered, spreading kisses over my ribs and stomach before he reached for my jeans and pulled them down my body. His tongue dipped below the waistband of my panties as he gripped the silk and drew them from me too.

  He stood at the foot of the bed to yank his jeans off and it was a sight I knew I would never grow tired of seeing. I reached for the condom and moved to just in front of him. Steadily, I rolled it onto the hard length of him. He grinned before his arm wrapped around my waist and his mouth covered mine. In the next minute, I was flat on my back and he was settled between my thighs. He pushed into me just as his tongue plunged into my mouth, mirroring the movement of his hips. I felt myself coming apart and wrapped my legs around him, urging him to go deeper. I came hard. A few more thrusts and he came too, my name ripping from his throat as he did.

  ***

  Two days later my exams were over. The moment felt bittersweet, because though I didn't love school, it was sad and strange to be leaving that part of my childhood behind.

  Bastian was on an errand, so I was home alone watching a movie when I heard a knock at the door. It took me a minute to process the fact that Aunt Kim stood on the front stoop of the Wrights' home.

  “Larkspur, could I come in for a minute?”

  My gut said to close and lock the door, but I stepped back and held the door open for her to enter. We settled in the living room and I reached for the remote and paused the movie. It was difficult making eye contact, because frankly she freaked me out. Somehow I managed to ask, “Is there something wrong?”

  “I know we have never seen eye-to-eye, but I came here because it means a lot to your uncle that we attempt to get along.”

  If by “not seen eye-to-eye,” she meant she'd been a vindictive jealous bitch to me for most of my life then, yes, I could agree with her statement.

  She didn't seem to pick up on my annoyance as she continued on, “Your uncle remembers Dylan differently than I. She was my sister and I loved her, but she was a hard person to like. She was very selfish. People adored her because of how she looked, but if they scratched the surface they would have seen her beauty only ran skin deep. Eddie was mine. Dylan knew how I felt about him and she purposely took him from me. I had to watch as the man I loved fell head over heels for my own sister. Can you imagine how painful that was for me? She didn't care how much she was hurting me and as it turned out, her love for him was as fickle as her love for me when she up and left him.”

  Despite myself, I found I actually felt sympathetic toward my aunt, because I couldn't imagine having a sister who deliberately stole Bastian from me. I knew my mother was selfish; I had firsthand experience of that, but I didn't think she was capable of such out and out cruelty. My mouth opened before I truly knew what I intended to say. “I'm sorry, Aunt Kim, that was really pretty awful of her.”

  When she looked at me, there was a bit of wildness in her stare. “It all worked out, but maybe now you understand why I treated you as I did, when you came to live with us. How could I feel anything but contempt when just looking at you I see so much of her?”

  Well, I didn't agree with that. I may look like my mother, but I wasn't her. Why should the child pay for the sins of the parent?

  “I could never love you and I know that sounds harsh, but it's the simple truth. I had lived for so long in the shadow of my sister. Finally she died and I got all I wanted. But it didn't last because then you came, and once again my sister had planted herself quite firmly between me and what I wanted most. It was her last act of selfishness—sending you to me—as if she hadn't hurt me enough.”

  She stood so abruptly, I almost pulled a muscle in my neck following her. “I came to see you at the request of your uncle. Perhaps you will call him and let him know you understand where I'm coming from. He lives in a fantasy world, where everyone gets along, but you and I both know life rarely works that way. Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water.”

  She turned then and reached for my hand, holding it almost painfully in both of hers. “You will make it right with your uncle. He's my life, as are the girls. It's in your power to make this all go away. So prove you aren't like your mother and do the right thing.”

  Before I could reply, she walked out the door. I just stood there for a few minutes, because I really didn't completely understand what just happened. Yes, I heard my aunt's words, but there was something about her entire speech which left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. For someone who claimed my mother was selfish, a fact I knew all too well, I heard an awful lot of me, me, me in Aunt Kim's spiel. Not to mention her comment about my mom dying and her finally getting everything she always wanted was seriously messed up.

  I walked back into the living room, but couldn't watch the movie with the knot in my stomach, so I reached for my cell and called my uncle.

  “Lark, what a nice a surprise.”

  “Hi, Uncle Eddie. Do you have a minute?”

  “Sure. Is everything okay?” There was a note of worry in his tone.

  “Yeah, it's just that Aunt Kim was here.”

  “She was?”

  “Yeah. She explained to me about my mom, and I guess she was hoping by sharing with me I would understand her better, or more to the point, understand why she isn't a fan of mine.”

  “What did she tell you?” There was no mistaking the anger in his voice.

  I relayed the conversation and was completely shocked to hear the curse that hissed across the line.

  “She shouldn't have burdened you with our shit. We had a long talk last night and I guess she thought if she could get you to understand, all would be okay between us, but we're way past that.”

  I heard him exhale. “I'm sorry she came to see you and filled your head with impressions of your mother that are simply untrue. I was never in love with your aunt when we were younger, though I knew she had feelings for me. Perhaps it was unfair of me to marry Dylan's sister after she left knowing that a part of me would always belong to her, but you were an innocent child and should have been loved despite whatever happened in our love triangle. Your aunt's behavior toward you is wrong and she needs to acknowledge that. As far as your mother, she was a good person: kind, fair, selfless, but somewhere along the way she just lost herself. You may never have seen the good part of her, but I promise you it was there.”

  He went silent for a minute. Then he added, “As for your aunt, we're separating. I don't want you to
worry or feel responsible. It's something I've been thinking about doing for a very long time. My actions are not because of you, so please don't think that they are, despite what your aunt told you. Our problems are between us—you are just collateral damage. For that I'm very sorry.”

  He sounded so sad, but resigned too. “I'm so sorry, Uncle Eddie.”

  “I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago, Lark. I don't regret my life with Kim because I got the girls, but we've not been working for a really long time.” A wave of fear swept through me in response to his words—I really did believe the only thing that tethered my aunt to sanity was her family. I was afraid of how badly she would spiral out of control without Uncle Eddie and the girls to keep her grounded, but I kept my worries to myself.

  “Please don't worry about it, okay?” He said.

  Easier said than done. “Okay.”

  “So, to change the subject—how were finals?”

  A half an hour later I hung up with my uncle just as Bastian came home. He dropped down on the sofa next to me and pressed a kiss on my mouth, “Who was on the phone?”

  “My uncle.”

  “Yeah, how's he doing?”

  I didn't really want to get into it because the whole situation made me feel sick, so I was purposely vague in answering. I then changed the subject, “So what have you been up to?”

  He linked his fingers behind his head and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Had to do something.”

  I turned more fully around to face him, “What exactly?”

  His response was to grin so I slapped him in the chest and he winced.

  “I didn't hit you that hard.” I touched his chest just over his heart and felt the bandage. My eyes flew to his when I realized what he'd been up to.

  “What's that?” I asked innocently, but my whole body tensed in anticipation.

  “Look and see.”

  And so I did, lifting his shirt over his head before reaching for the bandage. When I saw the beauty and simplicity of my name over his heart in emerald-colored ink, there weren't words to describe how the sight made me feel. But it was very easy to express how I felt about the tattoo. “I love it.”

  He pulled me into his arms. I added, “You beat me to it.”

  “What?”

  I had been working on a design since I moved into the apartment with Bastian. Some would argue it was stupid to get a tattoo for the one you loved, because what if it didn't last? I understood that, agreed with it actually, but I had no doubts that Bastian and I were going to last and frankly I wanted his name on me, wanted him to see his name on me. The fact that he was thinking the same thing only reinforced the rightness of both of our actions. Unlike Bastian, this was my first tattoo so it took me this long to work up the nerve to actually make the appointment. “I was going tomorrow to have a tattoo done.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.” I stood and walked over to my backpack to retrieve the design I had settled on. I sat back down and handed him the sketch. It was the Celtic trinity knot and embedded within it was a red heart. Bastian's name was worked into the design. He studied it for a minute and when his gaze turned to me, his expression mirrored how I felt at seeing my name on him. He asked, “You're going tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, to your friend Connor.”

  “So that's what he was alluding to. I'm coming with you.”

  “I'd like that.”

  My eyes traveled to my name resting over his heart and I felt all kinds of things, the strongest of which was desire. I straddled him, and he immediately curled his fingers into my hips, just before my lips found his neck. “Is it wrong for me to want to spend the rest of the day just looking at you? I want my hands all over you. I want to kiss you, taste you...” His eyes blazed when I looked back at him “…love you.”

  His mouth covered mine as his tongue swept my mouth to tangle with my own. His breathing turned hard and fast as he pulled his hands through my hair. He pressed his mouth to my neck and his tongue licked a trail down to my shoulder. “Yeah, let's do your idea. The house is empty, yes?” He said in a voice that was low, husky and sexy as hell.

  “Yep.”

  In a blur of movement, he had me up over his shoulder seconds before he headed for the stairs. He was acting like a caveman, but then, knowing exactly where we were going and what we were going to do, I really didn't have a problem with his methods.

  “Move faster, handsome.”

  And he did until it was time to move slower and then he took his good, sweet time.

  ***

  The Wrights were both working late, so Bastian suggested going to Alfonso's for dinner. Poppy and Caden joined us and as soon as we settled, Mr. Alfonso came over to take our order personally.

  I stood to give him a hug.

  “It's good to see you. How have you been?” He asked.

  “Good. I'm heading off to New England soon for that scholarship I told you about. I'm really excited about it. How are you?”

  He knew I was asking about the Rosses, and his jaw tightened. “Things have settled. Whatever you want, it's on the house. No arguments.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to argue with his generous offer. “Thanks.”

  We settled on a pizza with everything on it, for Poppy and me, and one with every kind of meat for the guys. We hadn't been there for more than ten minutes when Poppy and Caden started bickering.

  “Could you stop kicking the table?” I had never heard that tone from Poppy. She sounded so much like Dr. Wright when she struggled for patience.

  Caden's reaction to her was just as bizarre; he mocked her like a kid would do. Intentionally goading her to get a rise out of her. What the hell?

  “You're such a child,” she said.

  “And you’re an old woman.”

  “I'm younger than you, so that's a stupid comeback.” The look Poppy threw Caden should have smote him where he sat, but he held her stare with one of his own.

  “You're stupid.”

  Their exchange was comical in its childishness, but I could see it was heading for disaster and fast. “Are you still working on that sweet Corvette, Caden?”

  It took him a minute to stop glaring at Poppy and answer me. I only half-listened, because I was curious as hell as to what was going on with these two.

  ***

  The following day Bastian went off in search of a trailer that we could hitch to the back of Baby, yes, I named my car after Dean Winchester's car, so we could bring his bike up North. Though it was Saturday, everybody was working but Poppy, so the two of us sat out back on the patio.

  I had gotten my tattoo earlier and though it had hurt, it hadn't been as painful as I had feared. The look on Bastian's face when he saw it, his name on me, well, it was a look I'd remember forever.

  I turned my thoughts to Poppy and Caden and their behavior at dinner the night before, hell, their behavior since Caden moved into the Wrights’ house. I worried because they both meant so much to me and I hated that they didn't get along. I had thought perhaps it was just flirting, but after last night, I wasn't so sure.

  “Why are you and Caden going at each other all the time?”

  When she looked over at me, I was surprised to see guilt in her expression. “I like him.”

  “Well, I'm relieved to hear that, because the thought of you two not getting along really upsets me.”

  “No, I mean I really like him.”

  “Huh?”

  “I know probably not a great idea, but I can't help it. An electric shock burned right through me the first time we shook hands. I haven't been able to get my reaction to him out of my head. It's what had me questioning my relationship with Shawn. How could I be so deeply in love with Shawn and have such a strong reaction to someone else?”

  “We can't help who we like, Poppy.”

  “I know.” She reached over and touched my ring. “I like seeing you wearing his ring. So much for no happily-ever-after for you.”

 
“I don't want a happily-ever-after. That implies smooth sailing and princes rescuing damsels. Me, I want the bumps in the road and the challenges.”

  She fell silent for a moment as she worked her lower lip and when she did speak, her voice sounded very soft. “Lark, what would you think about Caden and me giving it a shot?”

  “The idea of you and Caden finding what Bastian and I have makes me deliriously happy, because we'll all be together, always, one big happy family. I want that for you and Caden. I want him in our family. I want us all to be close always. With that being said, if it doesn't work between you, it's going to be awkward. You're my best friend and Caden is Bastian's which will make things rather uncomfortable.”

  I could tell she was mulling it over. I knew her so well that I knew she'd back off with Caden rather than risk screwing anything up, but then if Caden was her Bastian, I didn't want her to miss out on that.

  “Go for it, Poppy.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Yeah, you owe it to yourself and Caden to see where it could lead. He could be your Bastian.”

  Poppy didn't reply with words, but I saw her answer when her eyes lit up.

  ***

  Later in the day while I packed, I replayed the conversation with Poppy in my head. I wanted her and Caden to work; I wanted them both to find what Bastian and I had.

  I looked over at him as we packed up my room. He stood near my workstation individually bubble-wrapping my pots of paint. I stopped what I was doing to just watch him.

  He wore those faded jeans I loved so much, so worn they almost looked white in spots, and an Aerosmith tee. The images on his arms looked as if they were dancing along his skin as his muscles flexed from his efforts. His hair was pulled back with a blue bandana and his face in profile was set in determination as he focused on his task.

  Quite unexpectedly, he asked, “Hey, Lark, how's your happy place?” He glanced over at me when he asked this. “What?” His smile cut the sharpness in his tone.

  “I like looking at you.”

  He placed the pot down and walked to me in that loose-limbed stride of his. “I like you looking.”