“Olly is one of the good guys,” Jaime replied. “I went to school with his sister, Ella and he was always a nice guy.”
I smiled but didn’t respond as a thought suddenly struck me. Was I a nice girl? Was I someone people would like? Maybe that’s why no one came looking for me.
“I will go and ask the doctor about the shower,” Jaime continued, unaware of what was going through my head. “I am sure we can remove your catheter too, get you back to normal as soon as possible. I’ll be right back.”
She hurried out of the room, leaving me alone once again. I realised I hated the silence. It unnerved, me but I wasn’t sure why. I spotted a remote control on the table and picked it up. Pointing it at the TV on the wall, I pressed the little red button. I had no idea how I remembered what to do, but it felt natural to me.
I flicked through the channels, but nothing looked familiar to me. As I flicked, the image of a girl who looked like she had been beaten badly flashed up on the screen. It was the caption beneath the picture that caught my attention. It said Scarlet Doe.
My heart started to race as I raised the volume. The woman on the TV was talking about the string of murders that had happened over the last four months.
They talked about how Scarlet Doe had finally woken up from her coma, but the police had released no further details yet.
The picture came up on the screen again…my picture. Only I didn’t recognise myself, and not just because of the bad bruising, I didn’t recognise anything about myself at all.
Suddenly, my chest started to tighten, and my heart hammered rapidly. I gasped for air, but my lungs felt like they were closed. I needed to see myself.
I quickly pushed back the bed clothes and tried to put my legs to the floor, but they didn’t seem to work. I reached down and dragged them from the bed and out onto the floor. They felt weak and unsteady. Counting to three, I pushed up from the bed, but my legs immediately buckled, and I crashed to the floor.
I closed my eyes as sheer panic swept over my entire body. I gasped for breath, but I couldn’t seem to get the air into my lungs. It felt like they were on fire.
I shook violently, as a single sob came from deep inside me. I pulled myself into a ball on the floor and tried to focus on my breathing. I refused to cry.
I am not a victim, I am not a victim, I chanted over and over in my head.
“Scarlet?” Jaime’s voice crashed into my mind, then I could hear footsteps. “SCARLET!”
Jaime rushed around the bed when she spotted me on the floor. She hit the emergency button on the wall, then dropped to her knees beside me.
“Are you hurt?” She asked as she checked my pulse. I tried to respond but the words seemed lost inside me. I felt like I was trapped.
“Scarlet,” Jaime said in a calm voice. “Open your eyes and look at me.”
I did as I was instructed, and my eyes sprung open.
“That’s it,” she said with a smile. “Now, we are gonna lift you back up onto the bed.” She stood up, then Jaime and a man, a male nurse I think, lifted me up to the bed as I still struggled to breathe.
Once they had me on the bed, Jaime reached for the oxygen mask and placed it over my face.
“Just try to breathe normally for me,” Jaime said, still keeping her voice level and calm. Once again, I did as I was instructed and slowly my breathing eased down. The other nurses left the room, leaving me alone with Jaime.
She checked all my wires and IV before checking the bandage on my head, then finally, she looked back down at me and smiled.
“Are you okay?” She asked me, and I nodded to say I was. “You’re not hurt, are you?” This time I shook my head.
“What happened?” She asked, her eyes filled with concern. I glanced over at the TV and my breathing quickened again.
“I…I was on the TV,” I said in my croaky voice. “I mean, I think it was me. They were calling me Scarlet Doe.”
“Oh sweetie,” Jaime sighed as she sat on the edge of my bed. She reached out and took hold of my hand. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you. When no one came looking for you after a week, the police thought it would help if we used a photo…that someone might recognise you.”
“But they didn’t,” I said feeling so lost and alone.
“No, one came forward,” Jamie replied, and I could see the pity in her eyes.
“I need to see myself,” I said to Jaime as once more my heart raced. “I didn’t even recognise my own face on the TV. I need to know what I look like, maybe it will help me remember.”
“Is that why you tried to get out of bed?” Jaime asked, as suddenly she understood.
“I need to know what I look like,” I repeated.
“I will get you a mirror,” Jaime said as she stood up and quickly left the room. When she returned, she was carrying a large hand mirror and handed it to me.
I held it nervously, face down on my lap for a few minutes, trying to find the courage to look at my reflection.
“If you’re not ready,” Jaime said, as once again she sat on the edge of my bed. “We can do this later.”
“No,” I replied quickly. “I need to do this. I mean, I should at least know what I look like.”
I took a deep breath and lifted the mirror to my face. The first thing I noticed were my chocolate coloured eyes. They were pretty, but they looked sad. I had a nice nose, and pretty lips. I guess I was kind of attractive, but I really didn’t recognise myself.
“See, the bruising is almost all gone,” Jaime said, trying to sound as positive as she could.
“Was I beaten?” I asked as my eyes went to the bandage around my head and the last of the bruising on my forehead.
“No,” Jaime replied, and I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. As if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to answer my questions. “As far as I know, you were shot, but nothing more. There was a contusion on your face, but it was believed that happened when you hit the ground, after you were shot.”
“I see,” I replied, still staring at the bandage on my head. “How many other girls were there?”
“Scarlet, I don’t…” Jaime began to protest but I quickly dropped the mirror and looked at her pleadingly.
“Please, I need to know,” I interrupted her.
“Four, and you,” she replied. “Two before, two since.”
“Are they okay?” I asked, but something inside me already knew the answer.
Jaime hesitated before she answered.
“No,” she said.
“I see,” I replied as I dropped my eyes back to the mirror in my hand. I looked at my reflection. Why had I survived, but they hadn’t? What was so special about me? My heart ached and I could feel hot tears sting my eyes, but I pushed them back down inside. I was not going to cry.
“Now, how about we get you that shower?” Jaime said, trying to change the subject. I looked up and smiled.
I needed to remember. I need to remember who did this to me, who did this to those girls. I was the only one who could stop him and make him pay.
Chapter 4
Oliver
I hurried home and had a quick shower before I headed straight into work. When I reached the station, I made my way straight to the coffee machine, before I headed into the conference room.
They were talking about the case and how all the leads turned out to be dead ends. We were no closer to catching the killer than we were after the first shooting.
“What about Scarlet Doe?” Lieutenant Parker said suddenly, looking straight at me. “Has she remembered anything?”
“No,” I replied with a sigh. “I spoke to a member of the hospital staff last night, and she said Scarlet has Focal Retrograde Amnesia. The area of the brain that the bullet damaged, controls her episodic memory recall. She remembers nothing.”
“Her what?” Lieutenant Parker said, giving me a look of confusion.
“It’s where her memories are stored,” I explained what I had been told by Jaime the night before.
“Episodes and events, even people from her past, she remembers none of it. She might never remember any of it. It is hard to know. The brain is a very complicated organ.”
“Damn it,” he groaned with frustration. “We need to find her family; if we are ever going to trigger her memory, we need something from her past to help us.”
“It might not work,” I replied, not wanting to get his hopes up.
“It has to, damn it,” he snapped angrily. “It’s important to us.”
“Well, I think it’s important for Scarlet too, Sir,” I said, feeling more than a little irritated as to how he spoke about her. She wasn’t a person to him. She was a means to an end. “Let’s not forget what she has been through here, and that she is all alone in the world, right now. She is still a victim.”
“I didn’t mean…” Lieutenant Parker replied with a sigh, realising how he had sounded. “Look, go back to the hospital, talk to her and see if there is anything that may help us.”
I knew going back there was a pointless exercise, but I would be lying if the thought of seeing Scarlet once again didn’t sound very appealing.
Suddenly the words my father said to me the night before, crashed into my mind and I shut my feelings down. She was a victim that was all. At least that was what I tried to convince myself.
“I have some paperwork,” I replied as I stood up from the conference table. “I will head to the hospital once I’m done.”
I walked back to my desk and pulled out the paperwork I needed to finish.
“Caldwell,” a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Seth Crowley standing there. Seth and I were partners when I was still in uniform, but not since I got my detective badge. “We’ve missed you at poker night the past couple of weeks, dude.”
“I know.” I sighed and I truly felt crappy for blowing my friends off. “I have just been swamped.”
“Or busy visiting a certain young lady?” Seth said with a knowing smile. “What’s going on buddy?”
“I just…” I had no idea what to say.
“Olly,” Seth sighed. “It’s me. Don’t feed me some bullshit. I know you, and I know what you are like.”
“I found her Seth,” I replied as I looked up at my friend. “She has no one, so…”
“So, you feel responsible for her,” Seth finished my thought. “Olly, she isn’t Clea.”
“This has nothing to do with Clea,” I snapped, angry he would even bring her up. I closed the file I was working on and stuffed it into my drawer, then stood up. “I have to go.”
“Olly,” Seth said taking hold of my arm. “Just be careful, dude.”
“I will,” I replied a little less forceful.
“Are we ready to roll?” Dean Harris, Seth’s new partner said as he walked up and joined us. “Hey, Caldwell. You haven’t been to poker night in a while. Tired of me cleaning you out?”
“You wish, Harris,” I replied with a laugh as I took my jacket from the back of my chair and slipped it on. “Thought I would give you a break, maybe give you time to learn how to play like a man.”
“I hear you’re working on The Headshot Killer case,” he said as he sat on the edge of my desk.
“The what?” I asked, almost wanting to laugh at the ridiculous name. Why did the damn media need to give these animals a name and turn the whole thing into a circus? These were young women being slaughtered.
“That’s what they’re calling it on the TV,” Dean said. “How’s that going?”
“Not so great,” I sighed disappointedly. “But we will get him, of that I am sure. So, do me a favour, drop the stupid name. Don’t make this lowlife a celebrity. This is about those girls, not him.”
“Sure thing, Caldwell,” Harris said with a nod as he stood up and headed for the exit.
“Call me,” Seth said before he followed his partner out of the squad room. I took my gun and my shield from my desk drawer and headed for the door too.
When I reached the hospital, I made my way to the third floor, where Scarlet’s room was. As I walked along the corridor, I got an uneasy feeling when I didn’t see the police officer that was supposed to be posted outside her door. I picked up my speed, as fear washed over me.
When I got to the door of her room, I found it ajar. I didn’t bother knocking, instead I burst straight in and was surprised to find her bed empty. I turned and hurried to the desk outside her room.
“Where is Scarlet gone?” I blurted at the nurse behind the desk.
“She has been moved down the hall,” the nurse looked up at me and replied. “She is no longer a high dependant patient. She was moved to a regular room.”
She gave me the room number and the directions to Scarlet’s room.
“Thank you,” I said before I hurried along the corridor. I spotted the officer outside her room and I let go of the breath I had been holding. Just as I reached the door, I heard someone call my name.
“Olly,” Jamie said again as I turned and saw her coming towards me. “Are you going into Scarlet?”
“Yeah,” I replied, but the look on her face stopped me completely in my tracks. “What’s happened?”
“She saw herself on the TV,” Jaime said, and I could hear the concern in her voice. “It has really shaken her.”
“Is she okay?” I asked, sensing Jaime was worried about Scarlet.
“She seems a little quiet,” Jaime replied. “But she is bearing up, I guess. She will be happy to see you, I think.”
She gave me a smile that said everything else she wasn’t saying.
You need to stop this, I scolded myself in my mind but the minute I stepped through the door and saw her lying in the bed, fast asleep, something inside me came alive.
I slipped off my jacket and walked to the chair beside her bed. I sat down quietly and watched her sleep. She was beautiful.
I thought back to the first time I sat next to her bed. One side of her face had been badly bruised, possibly from coming down hard on the gravel ground where she fell after she was shot. She had two black eyes from the surgery on her brain, and one side of her forehead was purple and swollen from where the bullet had exited her head. And yet, despite all that, she was still beautiful.
She sighed softly in her sleep, and I could feel an overwhelming urge to protect her, but I quickly shut it down.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I screamed in my mind.
She moved as a tiny whimper escaped from her throat and her breathing quickened. I knew she was dreaming. Suddenly, she began to become agitated, and as her breathing became more ragged, she began to kick and hit out. She was having a nightmare.
I sat forward in my chair and called her name softly to waken her, but she couldn’t hear me.
I stood up and walked to the bed.
“Scarlet,” I said, this time a little louder as I softly shook her.
Suddenly, she started to scream, hitting out in terror, fighting someone with all her might.
“Scarlet,” I called out once again, taking hold of her hands, afraid she might hurt herself. “Scarlet, it’s Oliver.”
“Nooooo!” She screamed as she continued to fight whatever monster had invaded her dreams.
Jaime and the officer posted outside her room hurried in to see what was happening.
“She is having a nightmare,” I told them quickly before I turned my attention back to Scarlet. “Scarlet, it’s okay. You’re okay. I have you. It’s just a bad dream. It’s only a dream.”
Her eyes snapped open and instantly met mine. They were full of fear.
“It’s okay,” I repeated, this time in a calmer, softer voice. “It was just a bad dream.”
She didn’t say anything, she just stared at me, gripping my arms. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me.
“You’re safe,” I whispered as I glanced at Jaime and the officer and nodded to them that everything was under control. “It was just a bad dream. I have you.”
She buried
her face into my chest and tried to steady her breathing but still she didn’t talk.
“Did you remember something?” I asked, hopefully but she just shook her head no. “Do you want talk about it?”
She didn’t respond for a few minutes. We just sat on the bed in silence, as I cradled her in my arms. Finally, I could feel her breathing begin to ease.
“I was in a dark room,” she began suddenly, without making any move to remove herself from my embrace. “It was so dark and cold. I could hear breathing. Just this slow, laboured breathing.”
“Did you see who it was?” I asked, not really sure if I should push her.
“No,” she replied. “I just knew someone was there.”
“What happened then?” I asked. She didn’t reply for a few minutes and I didn’t push her further.
“Why did he shoot me?” She asked finally. “What did I do, to deserve this?”
“You did nothing to deserve this,” I replied, sad that she would even have to ask this question.
“Why did I live, and those other girls die?” She whispered, and her question nearly broke my heart.
“You survived because it wasn’t your time,” I said, trying hard to reassure her. “You can’t feel guilty because you survived and the others didn’t, Scarlet. I thank God I stopped the car that night. If I hadn’t…”
I couldn’t say the words. Instead, I just held her closer. She didn’t say another word, she just held on to me tightly. I shifted slightly in the bed, so my back was against the headboard. I didn’t move
After a few minutes, I could feel her relax against me and her breathing became shallow and steady. I knew she had fallen asleep.
“Is she okay?” Jaime whispered as she crept back into the room.
“She is asleep,” I replied as I looked up at the nurse. I liked Jamie. She was friends with my sister Ella when they were kids. I think they still kept in touch. “She is exhausted.”
“I knew she was upset over the news report,” Jaime sighed.
“She has been through a living nightmare,” I replied, glancing down at Scarlet. “But she is a fighter.”
Finding Scarlet Page 3