“Yes, she is,” she smiled. “And she has you.”
I look up at Jaime and considered her words. Did she have me? Was I simply doing my job or was it more? Was I falling for this girl, even though I knew I could never have her? She was a victim. She probably had a family somewhere looking for her, a family that loved her.
Then it hit me, what if she had someone that loved her and that she loved in return? That idea made my stomach clench with frustration, anxiety even.
I needed to shut down my feelings completely. I was heading into trouble and I knew it.
“You’re a good man, Olly,” Jaime said as she softly touched my arm. “She is lucky to have a friend like you. She sure as hell needs one right about now.”
She turned and walked out of Scarlet’s room, leaving me alone with her once again.
Jaime was right. What I did or didn’t feel was irrelevant. Right now, she needed a friend and I was the only one she had. I needed to do the right thing.
Chapter 5
Scarlet
I woke slowly…my body felt stiff. I breathed in and my senses were filled with a familiar scent. I opened my eyes and found a sleeping Oliver with his arms wrapped around me. I smiled and sat up. I couldn’t believe he had stayed with me again.
I reached up and softly touched his face and he instantly woke up. His eyes locked with mine.
“This is becoming a habit,” I said with a smile and I was rewarded with one of his breath-taking smiles in return. He really was such a sweet man.
“You fell asleep,” he said, offering an explanation. “You seemed so peaceful; I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling very grateful for what he had done. “Won’t you be in trouble at work? I thought you had to work today.”
“I do, I am,” he replied, looking suddenly uneasy as he got up from the bed and straightened his clothes, just as he had done earlier that morning. “I am working now, well…supposed to be. I was supposed to come in and talk to you, see if you had remembered anything.”
“Oh,” I said trying not to sound as disappointed as I felt. I thought he had just dropped by. Now I felt stupid. I pulled the covers over me, as if they would protect me, but protect me from what? I really didn’t know.
“You are looking a lot better,” he said as he walked to the end of the bed, putting a safe distance between us. “The pyjamas look good on you, better than the hospital gown.”
“Thank you,” I replied, a little cooler than I meant it to. “Please thank your mother again.”
Oliver looked a little surprised with my sudden change in demeanour. I felt embarrassed and to my horror, my eyes began to sting as tears pooled in them.
“Scarlet,” he said, and I could hear the pity in his voice. I quickly blinked back my tears. I was not going to cry in front of Oliver. Before he could finish, Jaime came breezing back into the room.
“So, you woke up then,” she said with a big grin as she walked in and picked up my chart. “Just in time. I need to take you for another MRI.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” I asked, surprised by this.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Jaime replied, but she sounded a little guarded. “Doctor Bellamy is just a little concerned about your legs. He just wants to rule out any further complications.”
“What do you mean, further complications?” Oliver asked and the level of concern in his voice surprised me.
“Well, most likely,” Jaime said looking from Oliver to me. “The limited mobility is just because of being in a coma for four weeks and your muscles not being used, that and the fact you just had a major head injury. It can take a while for all the brain functions to return to normal. But given the fact that there does appear to be some damage, as in the amnesia, we need to rule out secondary issues.”
“What would those issues be?” I asked, trying hard to take in what she was saying.
“Well, there could be a small bleed,” Jaime replied. “But this scan will show us what is going on.”
Another nurse appeared in the doorway with a wheelchair. As she brought it closer to the bed, Jamie pulled back my bed clothes and lifted my legs from the bed to the floor.
“Let me,” Oliver said and was at my side immediately. Before I could even reply, he scooped me up into his arms then turned and walked to the wheelchair. Setting me down gently, he let his eyes hold mine for a moment before he quickly stood up and stepped back.
“You can come with her if you want,” Jaime said looking at Oliver. Before he could reply I answered her.
“That’s okay,” I said with a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Detective Caldwell is busy.”
“Oh,” Jaime said looking a little surprised by the tone of my reply. If I was honest, I was too. I felt angry and a little hurt, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah,” Oliver said, keeping his eyes fixed on Jaime and I knew he was thrown by my reaction. “I should get back to the station.”
“Sure thing,” Jamie replied brightly, trying to appear unfazed by the sudden tension between Oliver and me.
Oliver finally glanced towards me and his eyes were filled with uncertainty.
“Goodbye, Scarlet” he said giving me one last questioning look before he walked out of the room.
“Bye,” I said, but he was gone, and I didn’t know if he even heard me. It took everything inside me, not to call him back and beg him to stay with me.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Jaime asked as she looked at me curiously.
“Yes,” I replied without looking at her. If I did, I knew I would have cried. I kept my focus on my clasped hands.
I had no idea why I had behaved the way I did. Oliver had never been anything but nice to me and I acted like a total bitch. He had taken care of me since he found me, and I just treated him like crap.
Maybe I was a bitch in real life. Maybe that’s why nobody came to find me. That thought made me feel even worse than I already did.
As I sat in the wheelchair, waiting for my turn to be scanned, I thought about everything that had happened since I woke up the day before.
It felt like I had been awake for longer than twenty-four hours. I thought back to how I woke to find Oliver in my room the night before. I thought about how he had held my hand while I drifted back to sleep, and how he had stayed. He was the only person in the world that cared if I lived or died, and I just treated him like he was nobody.
“Scarlet,” Jaime said, suddenly. “Are you ready?”
I nodded and gave her a smile, but I was afraid. I had no idea what was about to happen to me. I wished now I had let Oliver come with me.
Jaime and the MRI technician helped me onto the bed. I tried to use my legs as much as possible, but they were weak and refused to move the way I wanted them to.
When I was finally on the bed, Jaime placed, what looked like a cage over my head, and then covered me with a sheet.
“You won’t feel a thing, Scarlet,” Jaime explained. “But I need you to remain as still as possible.”
She gave me a smile before she walked out of the room and into a little glass room, where the technician was waiting to start.
The technician’s voice came through speakers from somewhere in the room. His voice was harsh and nasally, unlike Oliver’s. His voice was caring, velvet and sexy as hell.
Suddenly the bed began to move, as slowly it was guided into the huge machine at the back of the bed. It felt like it took forever. Finally, it jolted to a stop and I was lying inside a tunnel.
“Okay, Scarlet,” Jaime’s voice came from out of nowhere. “We just need you to remain as still as possible.”
As I lay there, I closed my eyes and thought if Oliver. I could see the look on his face when I was so cold to him. He looked surprised, maybe even a little hurt. I pinched my eyes shut tighter.
I didn’t like being in this confined space. I felt trapped and restricted. I tried to breath and remain calm, but the longer I was in there, the more stressed I was
becoming.
Suddenly a memory crashed into my mind. I could see nothing but blackness. I felt cold and wet, and I remembered being in pain. “Everything is going to be okay,” I could hear Oliver whisper in my mind.
Then I heard breathing, just like in my dream. I could feel my heart beginning to beat rapidly.
“Hey, Scarlet,” Jaime’s voice broke into my thoughts, and I came back to where I was. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
I couldn’t reply. I tried to, but the words wouldn’t come.
Just breath, I chanted over and over in my mind, but it was no use. My chest grew tighter and my breathing became laboured.
“Scarlet,” Jaime’s voice said calmly. “We need you to remain calm okay. Just try to breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.”
I tried, but I couldn’t focus. I needed to get out of that tunnel, and I needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.
“Scarlet,” Jaime said, and I could hear the concern in her voice. “I need you to keep calm.”
“I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!” I cried out and panic swept over me. “I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!”
“Scarlet, I need you to calm down,” Jaime repeated, but her words were empty to me.
“I NEED…I NEED,” I couldn’t catch my breath. Suddenly a blinding pain shot through my head and I felt like I wanted to vomit. Then everything went dark.
I slowly woke up and my head was aching. As I opened my eyes, I saw Jamie standing at the end of my bed, holding my chart. She looked up and smiled at me.
“Welcome back,” she said as she sat the chart back down and moved closer to me. “You gave us quite a scare.”
“What happened?” I asked her, surprised by what she said.
“I will go and find Doctor Bellamy,” Jaime said as she turned to walk away.
“No, please,” I said as I reached out and grabbed her hand. “You tell me. What has happened?”
“There was a small bleed in your head,” Jaime said, “You had a seizure while you were in the MRI machine. You were taken back to surgery and Doctor Bellamy was able to stop the bleeding. Everything is going to be okay.”
“How long was I asleep for this time?” I asked, worried I had missed another few weeks.
“Two days,” Jaime replied. Before she could say anything else, Doctor Bellamy came into my room and instantly smiled when he saw I was awake.
“Good morning,” he said, and he reached for the chart at the bottom of my bed. “Welcome back. How are you feeling?”
“My head hurts,” I replied feebly.
“We can give you something for that,” he said as he sat on the edge of my bed and shone a light into my eyes. “How are your legs feeling?”
“Eh…okay, I guess,” I said, as I instinctively wiggled my toes. I was more than a little relieved when I saw them twitch beneath the covers.
“Scarlet, there was a small amount of bleeding on your brain,” he explained to me, just as Jamie had. “It caused you to have a seizure, but we were able to fix the problem. You are going to be just fine.”
“Thank you,” was all I could say.
“We are going to arrange for you to have some physio,” he said with a smile. “Get you up and about as soon as possible.”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied, grateful for the care I was receiving.
“Just no more scaring us like that,” he said with a smile, as he stood up. “I will call in later to check on you.”
“Okay,” I said and smiled again before he turned and headed for the door.
“How does a nice shower and a change back into your pyjamas sound?” Jaime asked, as she helped me sit up in the bed. “I had your pyjamas cleaned…while you were asleep. I thought you’d want them.”
“Yeah, sounds good,” I replied. I wanted to ask her about Oliver, but I couldn’t find the right words. What right did I have to ask about him, especially after the way I behaved?
“He hasn’t been back,” she said as if she were reading my mind. “Oliver. If that’s what you were wondering?”
“Can you blame him?” I replied trying hard to hide my disappointment.
“He will come back,” Jaime said giving me a reassuring smile. “I know Oliver, and he is one of the good guys.”
“Why would he?” I sighed. “He was just doing his job. I can’t tell him anything to help him. There is no reason for him to be here.”
“We’ll see.” Jaime replied. “Right, I have one more thing to do, then I can get that shower ready for you.”
“Actually, I am kind of tired,” I said suddenly feeling the fight in me completely drain. “Maybe we can do it later?”
“Are you sure?” Jaime asked giving me a look of pity.
“Yeah,” I replied as I sunk down into the bed and turned to my side. I pulled my legs up to my stomach, curled into a ball and closed my eyes. It wasn’t long until sleep found me again.
Chapter 6
Oliver
I sat at my desk and stared blankly at the file I had been looking at for the last twenty minutes. What I was looking for, I had no idea. I read the same paragraph over and over again, but not a single word got into my brain.
I knew what was distracting me, but I tried my hardest not to think about it. Not think about her, but it was no use.
It had been four days since I was last at the hospital. I had no idea what I had done that last morning I was there, to upset Scarlet, but something had happened.
As I turned and walked away from her, it took all my strength to keep moving forward. I wanted so much to turn back and asked her what I had done wrong. I stood in the elevator and played over everything that had happened since I had arrived, and I was completely at a loss.
I got back to the station that day and pulled my paperwork back out, but my mind was racing. I had no idea what had happened.
When the call came in that Scarlet had been rushed back into surgery, I thought my heart was going to burst. I grabbed my jacket and got to my car in double quick time. I needed to get back to the hospital.
As I drove, I thought about Scarlet. I remembered the way it felt to have her asleep in my arms, the overwhelming urge I had to protect her. I could have lay on that bed all day with her in my arms.
As I pulled to a stop outside the hospital, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had fallen for her, and I had fallen hard. My dad had seen it the night before, and now it made perfect sense to me. I sat in the car wondering how I could have been so stupid. Scarlet was a victim, she trusted me as a policeman, a protector…and I had crossed a line.
She had a past, a family, maybe even a lover and I had no right to push my way into her life. I needed to put a stop to this. I turned the engine back on and reversed out of the parking space before I had time to change my mind.
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself sitting in my parent’s driveway.
When I walked in the door, the house was quiet. I called out but got no answer. I walked through the house, but it was empty. I headed out to the back yard and down the pathway to my father’s shed at the back of the garden. As I suspected, I found my dad in his hideout, painting what looked like a blanket box.
“Hey,” I said as I walked into his little piece of heaven. My dad looked up and smiled at me.
“Hey there,” he said as he turned his attention back to the blanket box. “What brings you here at this time, son?”
“I was just in the neighbourhood,” I shrugged and sat on a box in the corner of the shed.
“I see,” Dad said as he looked up at me and set his paintbrush down. He turned and walked over to a beer cooler he had sitting next to the door and pulled out two bottles of beer. Walking back towards me, he handed me one of the bottles, before pulling out a crate from beneath the bench and sat down next to me.
“Cheers,” he said as he held the bottle out to me, and I tipped it with mine. We both took a long, welcome sip of the beer as we stared out over the garden. “So, you wanna tell me what’s wron
g?”
I continued to stare out at the garden, focusing on my mother’s favourite white rose bush. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about what was going on in my head, yet I knew that’s why I had ended up here.
“It’s the girl, isn’t it?” My dad said, knowing me better than I had ever given him credit for.
“I thought that I just felt responsible for her,” I sighed, still not looking at him. “You know I found her, and she had nobody fighting her corner.”
“But it’s more?” My dad asked, but I knew he already knew the answer.
“I realised today, that I have feelings for her,” I replied honestly. “I have sat by her bed every day for a month now and I think I am falling for her. Only thing is, she could have a family out there, someone who loves her, and when her memory comes back, well…”
I didn’t finish the sentence, there was no need. I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t, so after a minute or two I continued.
“Plus, she’s a victim,” I said with a deep sigh. “And I have sworn an oath to protect her. To serve and protect, right?”
“That’s true,” my dad said, and I could feel his eyes on me, but he said nothing else.
“Today I was at the hospital and…” I stopped, trying to figure out what I was going to say, as I was still unclear about what had actually happened. “She was having a bad dream.”
“Did she remember anything?” My dad asked quickly.
“No,” I replied with another sigh. “But she was scared, and I comforted her. It felt, I don’t know…It felt like it was the right thing to do. For a moment, it felt like we had a connection…”
“What happened?” He asked as he brought the bottle of beer to his mouth once again.
“I thought about what you said yesterday,” I replied. “I tried to shut my feelings down and remove myself from the situation…but I think I hurt her. She became a little upset, cold even.”
“I see,” he said, setting his bottle of beer on the ground next to his foot.
“She had no one in her corner,” I said, as the realisation of what happened finally hit me. “No one except me, and I have let her down.”
Finding Scarlet Page 4