Finding Scarlet

by Holly C. Webb

  “Olly, you can’t decide who your heart wants,” he replied, surprising me a little. “Don’t you think I could see you were falling for her? I know you better than you know yourself. I knew you were falling for this girl, and that’s why I tried to warn you, but you can’t help what your heart feels. I learned that when I met your mom.”

  “I spoke to Seth today,” I continued.

  “How’s he doing?” My dad asked. He was always very fond of Seth.

  “He’s good,” I replied. “He thinks I am feeling responsible for Scarlet because of what happened to Clea.”

  “And do you?” He asked. I turned to look at him finally.

  “I hadn’t really thought about it,” I shrugged, but the familiar feeling of guilt I had when I thought of Clea crept back inside me as it always did.

  “Oliver, what happened to Clea wasn’t your fault,” my dad said as he held my eyes with his. “You need to stop punishing yourself for it. As for this thing with Scarlet, you may have feelings for her, but more than that, you were there for her when no one else was. Yes, she may have family, or even someone that loves her, but where are they now? I just want you to be careful because I don’t want you to get hurt again. You have been hurt enough.”

  “I thought you said not to make her life more complicated,” I said, recalling our conversation from the night before.

  “Yeah, and I meant it,” he replied. “But you are also my son, and I know you are a good man. You won’t do anything that will hurt her. She needs you Olly that much I do know.”

  The phone rang on my desk pulling me from my daydreams and back to the present. I picked it up without thinking. It was my mom checking in on me. I smiled and I thought how lucky I was to have both my parents looking out for me.

  A tiny twinge of guilt hit me as I recalled my father’s words, ‘She needs you Olly.’ I felt guilty, because after I left my dad, I drove back to the hospital, but I couldn’t go back inside. Something stopped me, but I didn’t know what. That was four days ago.

  I sighed and turned my attention back to the paperwork, reading over the same paragraph again.

  “Olly,” a familiar voice came from behind me. I turned and was surprised to see Jaime standing there.

  “Hi,” I said as I stood up. Then it hit me, something might have happened to Scarlet and instantly fear gripped me. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

  “No,” she said with a smile. “Not really.”

  “Good,” I said with relief. “So, what can I do for you?”

  “May I?” She asked, pointing to the chair next to my desk.

  “Of course,” I said and we both took our seats. “So, what can I do for you, Jaime?”

  “I am here about Scarlet,” she said and instantly my heart began to race. “Olly, she isn’t doing so well.”

  “She hasn’t had another setback, has she?” I asked, feeling a sickening knot of fear in the pit of my stomach.

  “Not as such, no,” she replied and released a deep breath. “She is barely talking or eating even. She is, I don’t know…sad.”

  “I see,” I said as I nervously adjusted in my seat. I felt awful that Scarlet was feeling sad and I hadn’t been to see her. She had no one around her other than doctors and nurses, and I abandoned her. I told myself I had done it for the right reasons, but it didn’t make me feel any better about myself. “I am sorry to hear that.”

  “I don’t know what happened between you two,” Jaime said, and I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. “But she has no one. I know you were doing your job, Olly, but I also know sitting with her every night wasn’t part of it. You did that because you cared. She needs someone who cares.”

  “Jaime, I…,” I began to protest but she cut me off.

  “Please, Olly,” Jaime pleaded. “She has no one. She is giving up.”

  “Jaime, I am a cop,” I sighed. “I need to keep things professional.”

  “You are more than a cop, Olly,” she said sounding disappointed. She stood up and picked up her bag from my desk. “Or at least you used to be. I’m sorry for bothering you. I will let you get back to your work.”

  She walked away without even saying goodbye. I released a sigh and stood up.

  “Jaime, wait,” I sighed as I reached for my car keys and my jacket. “I will take you back to the hospital.”

  She turned back to me and smiled.

  Jaime talked the entire way back in the car, but I didn’t hear a single word she said. All I could think about was, if I was doing the right thing going back there.

  My dad’s words crashed into my mind again.

  ‘She needs you Olly’.

  His words played over and over in my mind. She needed me. She needed a friend. If that’s all I was meant to be, then so be it.

  When we reached the hospital, Jaime led the way to Scarlet’s room. She was still talking non-stop, and I couldn’t help but wonder, if she ever stopped to draw breath.

  I hesitated when we reached the door to Scarlet’s room. Jaime turned and looked at me expectantly.

  “Are you okay?” She asked.

  “I think this is a mistake,” I said, suddenly regretting my decision to go to the hospital with Jaime.

  “What?” Jaime asked, and I knew she didn’t know what to think, much less say. “Why?”

  “The last time I came to see her, she didn’t want me here,” I replied, recalling the cold way she reacted towards me.

  “Olly, that’s not true,” Jaime said stepping back towards me. “You were the first thing she looked for when she came through after the second surgery. Please.”

  “Fine,” I sighed.

  “I will leave you to it then,” Jaime smiled before she turned and walked away.

  I nodded at the officer on duty before I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

  The room was dark as I stepped inside, with just the light behind Scarlet’s bed shining down over her. She was fast asleep.

  I stood for a moment and watched her sleep. She looked so lost, it almost broke my heart, but she was even more beautiful than I remembered.

  I slowly walked over to the bed and took the seat next to it. She sighed softly in her sleep and once again, it had such an effect on me.

  I buried my face in my hands and rubbed my tired eyes. What the hell was I getting into here?

  When I looked up, my eyes were met with two warm chocolate eyes staring back at me.

  “Hey,” I said nervously as I leaned forward in my seat.

  “You came back,” she whispered.

  “I did,” I replied as I reached over and took hold of her hand.

  Chapter 7

  Scarlet

  I just stared at him for what seemed like forever. I couldn’t believe he came back. His eyes held mine and I could see he was as nervous as I was. He gave me a smile and softly squeezed my hand.

  “I didn’t think you would come back,” I said, making no effort to lift my head off the pillow. I felt tired, I have been for the last two days. I had lost all the fight inside me.

  “I’m sorry, I was catching up with work,” he replied as his eyes dropped to our hands. He smiled but I knew he was lying. I know he had avoided coming back after how I behaved the last time he was here. He was just too nice to say that. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired,” I whispered. Suddenly I could feel the tears gather in my eyes and I tried to blink them away, but they broke free and trickled down my face.

  “Please don’t cry,” Oliver said as he stood up from the chair and sat down on the edge of my bed. He scooped me up in his arms and held me close to his chest. His smell was so familiar. It was one of my only memories, and it made me cry harder.

  “I am so sorry for how I treated you, Oliver,” I whispered through my tears.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said as he softly brushed my tears away. “I should have come back sooner. I am sorry for being so stupid.”

  “I have no one, Oliver,�
� I sobbed harder. “No one has come looking for me. Am I really alone in this world?”

  “You are not alone,” he whispered as he pulled me tighter against his strong chest. “You have me Scarlet. I am going nowhere.”

  He held me in his arms until I calmed down and my breathing eased. Finally, I lifted my head from his chest, looked up at him and smiled.

  “I’m scared,” I admitted to him. “I’m afraid the person who shot me will come back.”

  “I will let no one hurt you again,” Oliver said, holding my eyes with his. “I promise you; I am going to find this scumbag and I am going to make him pay.”

  He pressed his lips to my forehead, then wrapped his arms around me again. For the first time since I had woken up several days earlier, I felt safe.

  “I remember your voice,” I whispered as I closed my eyes.

  “My voice?” He asked, still holding me close to him.

  “It’s the only memory I have,” I continued. “That and the smell of your aftershave. I don’t know what you said, but I remember your voice. I remember it made me feel safe. I was scared and your voice told me I was going to be okay.”

  “And everything will be okay,” he said as he softly kissed the top of my head. “I promise, everything will work out. I will be with you every step of the way.”

  I knew he was right. Whatever happened now, I was going to be okay.

  Over the next few days, I worked hard on my physiotherapy and little by little the strength in my legs came back. Ten days after I woke up from the coma, I could finally walk with just the aid of two sticks.

  When Oliver arrived that night for his nightly visit, he was surprised to see me sitting out on a chair and not curled up in bed.

  “Hey there,” he said with a big grin, as he set a bag down on the end of the bed. “You’re out of bed.”

  “I worked hard today,” I told him, feeling pleased with myself and all the progress I was making. It was hard but I felt so determined. “The doctor said if I keep it up, I should be able to leave before I know it.”

  “That’s great news,” Oliver said and sounded genuinely happy to hear that I was on the mend. “Oh, my mom sent in some new things for you. Also, I asked my sister to help me pick out some stuff for you. She got you more new pyjamas, some sweatpants, and a couple of t-shirts. I thought you could use them for your physio.”

  “You really don’t have to keep doing this.” I said, feeling awful that he would spend so much money on me. Every time he visited, he brought me something else. It was sweet, but it made me feel bad, almost like I was taking advantage of him. “I don’t know when I can even pay you back.”

  “I am not doing it for you to pay me back,” he smiled and sighed as he sat down on the edge of my bed. “I’m doing it because I want to.”

  “Thank you,” I smile, then added. “But I will pay you back.”

  “Let’s just get you better,” Oliver replied. “And get you home.”

  I frowned when the thought suddenly occurred to me, where would I go when I left here? Where was home? What was going to happen to me?

  “What’s wrong?” Oliver asked when he saw the look on my face. He stood up from the bed and crouched down in front of me, then took my hands.

  “Nothing,” I lied and forced a smile. He had already done so much for me, I didn’t want to make him feel like this was his problem when it wasn’t. “I’m just feeling a little tired.”

  “Scarlet,” he said in his best stern voice, giving me a look that said he was not going to drop it. “You know you’re a terrible liar. What is upsetting you?”

  “It’s nothing, really,” I insisted.

  “You’re worried about what will happen when you leave here,” he said knowingly. I found it a little unsettling, he seemed to know what I was thinking, sometimes before I had even finished the thought in my mind. It was like, when he looked in my eyes, he could see my soul.

  “This is not your problem,” I insisted as I pushed myself up onto my feet and balanced on the two walking sticks as I made my way to my bed.

  “Let me help you,” Oliver said, immediately beside me. He went to lift me, but I stopped him.

  “Please,” I said a little too impatiently, holding onto the walking sticks tightly and digging my feet in. Oliver instantly stepped back and I knew he was surprised by my tone. I looked up at him and smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I need to do this if I am ever going to be able to take care of myself.”

  “Okay,” he said with a smile.

  I struggled to climb into the bed, but I was determined to do it myself. I could feel him watching me and I knew he wanted to help me so badly.

  After what seemed like forever, I finally made it into the bed. When I was settled, Oliver sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Are you okay,” he asked me as he reached up and brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. The back of his fingers brushed my cheek and sent a shiver through my whole body. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. He made me feel safe, happy even.

  When I opened my eyes, he was watching me like I was some magical creature he had never seen before. He held my eyes with his, and my heart started to race. He gave me a half smile and I could see he was as nervous as I was. His eyes dropped to my lips and my heart almost stopped. I wanted him to kiss me. I held my breath as he slowly moved closer to me. I could feel his breath on my lips and my stomach felt as if a million butterflies had taken flight.

  “I am calling it a day,” Jaime said, and she came thundering into the room. Oliver jumped back immediately and stood up. “Oh, I’m sorry. Not interrupting, am I?”

  “No,” Oliver said, as he quickly glanced at me and gave me a nervous smile. “It’s okay.”

  “I just wanted to say goodnight,” she said giving me an apologetic look.

  “It’s okay,” I smiled. Suddenly Oliver’s phone began to ring.

  “I’ve got to take this,” he said, giving me another half-smile. “I’ll be right back.”

  He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

  “I am so sorry,” Jaime said once we were alone. She sat on the edge of the bed and gave me a sorry smile. “Did he kiss you?”

  “We were just talking,” I laughed and tried my best to hide my disappointment.

  “You like him, don’t you,” she said, and I knew there was no point in lying. She would see right through me.

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “I mean, am I crazy? I tried not to think about him like that. I mean what if I have a family? What if I am supposed to be in love with someone else? But it’s been almost six weeks. If there was someone out there looking for me, surely they would have found me by now.”

  “I don’t think any of that is crazy,” Jaime replied as she took my hand. “He is a nice guy, and I don’t think you are the only one that feels like this. He lights up when he is here with you. It’s been a long time since I have seen Olly so happy. Not since…well not since a long time ago.”

  “I’m scared,” I admitted.

  “You’re supposed to be scared,” she smiled as she sat on the edge of my bed. “But you should also feel excited, nervous, happy and a little bit terrified. That’s what makes it fun, what makes life worth living. This is the best part, when it’s new and exciting. When you are still getting to know each other.”

  Before I could reply, Oliver walked back into the room, I looked up at him and smiled, but my smile faded when I saw the look on his face. I knew something was wrong, something bad. If I am honest, I knew what he was about to tell me before he even said the words.

  “I’m sorry Scarlet, I have to go,” he said nervously, suddenly unable to meet my eyes.

  “Are you okay, Olly?” Jaime asked, as she too sensed something was wrong with him.

  “Em…” he said as he finally let his eyes reach mine. I knew he didn’t want to say the words because he didn’t want to upset me.

  “It’s happened again,” I said as my heart raced rapidly in
my chest. “Hasn’t it?”

  “They found a body just outside the city limits,” he said as he watched me closely. “Just off the interstate.”

  “You mean a girl,” I said, as I tried with all my strength to remain calm. “She is not a body, she is a girl, just like me.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. He moved closer to the bed but stopped. I pulled my legs up to my chest, as if to protect myself. “Scarlet, I’m sorry, but they need me out there.”

  “It’s okay,” I nodded and smiled, but I dropped my eyes from his. All I could think about was the girl. He said they found a body, so that means she didn’t survive. Why was I the only one? He was still out there, and he knew I survived. What if he comes back?

  “I will get back as soon as I can,” Oliver said as he walked towards me. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “I promise, I will be as quick as I can.”

  “Okay,” I replied in a small voice. Oliver hesitated for a moment before he turned and walked to the door. He stopped when he reached it and looked back at me. As my eyes met his, he smiled at me again. I knew he didn’t want to leave; he wanted to stay here and make sure I was okay. That much was written all over his face.

  He walked out the door, closing it behind him and instantly I felt the panic take hold.

  “Scarlet, sweetie,” Jaime said, as she jumped up from the bed. “I need you to breathe for me.”

  She reached behind the bed and grabbed the oxygen mask and slipped it over my face.

  “Scarlet, breathe,” she repeated. I wasn’t even aware I was holding my breath until my lungs began to burn. I gasped for air, as the room began to spin. I felt strange, like I was losing control of my entire body. I slumped to the side, unable to control myself any longer. I could see Jaime standing over me, but I didn’t hear a thing she was saying. Once again, the darkness came looking for me, and this time I happily let it take me. I had no fight left inside.

  Chapter 8

  Oliver

  I could see the flashing lights of the squad cars up ahead. I pulled my car in behind the car at the rear and stepped out into the cool night, thankful that it wasn’t raining for a change. I could see two girls leaning against one of the cars up ahead and figured they were the ones that found the body.