Finding Scarlet

by Holly C. Webb

  Before I could reply, Sebastian Wells and Allister whoever he was, came barrelling through the door.

  “Where is Beth?” Sebastian asked looking directly at me.

  “She is still with the doctors,” I replied and quickly glanced back at the door. “She lost a lot of blood.”

  “Tell me you caught this son of a bitch,” he said looking at me expectantly.

  “Dean Harris is dead,” I confirmed, knowing that this was what he wanted to hear.

  “Well at least that’s something,” he said with a relieved sigh.

  “He should have never got his hands on her,” Allister butted in. “If she had been with me…”

  “Well she wasn’t with you,” I snapped back. “And I don’t need you to tell me I screwed up.”

  “If she dies,” he said, stepping towards me. “I will have your badge.”

  “OH, FOR CHRIST SAKE!” I shouted. “Do you think I give a shit about any of that? All I want is for Scarlet to be okay!”

  “Her name is Beth,” he shot back as he stepped closer to me again. “She is not your Scarlet. She has a life, and a family that love her back in London. You are not her happy ever after, you couldn’t even keep her safe.”

  It took everything I had inside me not to knock him on his ass right there and then, but before I could even reply Mom stepped in between us.

  “This is helping no one,” she said, pinning Allister with a look I knew only too well. Then she turned to me and her expression changed to one of concern. “Oliver, I think now would be a good time for you to let the doctors look you over.”

  I stared at Allister for a couple of moments before I turned to my mom. I could see the concern in her eyes, and I knew I had no choice.

  “Okay,” I said as I stepped back. “Promise you’ll come get me the moment there is news.”

  “I promise,” she said with a smile. “Thank you.”

  “I will come with you, Olly,” Caitlin said as she followed me down the corridor in search of the doctor that was waiting to check me over.

  Twenty minutes later, I was sitting on a bed, waiting for the doctor to check my x-rays.

  “So, this Allister guy is an asshole,” Caitlin said as she absentmindedly fingered the medical supplies on the shelf.

  “I don’t think you are supposed to be touching them, Trouble,” I said, not wanting to be drawn into a conversation about Allister and no doubt Scarlet.

  “Sorry,” she said as she turned and looked at me. “Olly, you’re not going to let what he said get to you, are you?”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed, getting a little inpatient waiting on the doctor.

  “Olly,” she said as she walked over and sat on the bed next to me. “What he said is not true. You and Scarlet belong together. You love her and she loves you.”

  Before I could reply, the doctor walked back into the room. He said I had three cracked ribs and some bruising, but nothing a little rest and some painkillers couldn’t put right. He taped up my ribs to give them a little support before I hurried back towards the waiting room, where everyone else was still waiting for some news about Scarlet.

  “Are you okay?” Mom asked when I reached them.

  “Just some cracked ribs,” I shrugged. “I’ll live.”

  I was relieved that Doctor Bellamy appeared before I could be given another lecture from my mom. We all looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to tell us what was going on.

  “She was lucky,” he began and instantly I felt relieved. “She has lost a lot of blood, but thankfully though one of the stab wounds was deep, it missed all her organs. She required a lot of stitches, but we stopped the bleeding so, with rest, the wounds should heal well. However.”

  My stomach tensed at that word. My heart began to race, and I knew whatever was coming next, was not good news.

  “When Beth received the blow to the head,” he continued. “It caused some bleeding at the site where she was previously shot. We have monitored it and we think it could possibly stop itself, but we feel the best course of action would be to take her back to surgery and stop the bleeding.”

  “What are you waiting for?” Sebastian asked.

  “Well, firstly,” he replied. “We have her on fluids and have given her a couple of pints of blood. We need to raise her blood pressure a little before surgery.”

  “And secondly,” I asked knowing in my stomach that things were not that simple.

  “The area of the brain she was initially wounded in, affects the memory function,” he began to explain. “As you know, it had affected Beth’s memory the last time. If we operate, there is a chance she could lose her memory again, and this time it could be permanent.”

  “So, she won’t remember anything?” Caitlin asked and the sadness in her voice almost broke my heart. “She won’t remember Olly?”

  “She won’t remember anything,” he replied before he turned to me. “She has asked to talk to you, Olly.”

  “Okay,” I nodded and glanced at my mom and dad before I followed the doctor through the double doors.

  My heart was almost in my mouth as I made my way along the corridor. I had no idea what I was supposed to say to her, but I knew I needed to do the right thing for her.

  As I turned the corner, I spotted her through a door at the far end, lying in the bed, once again hooked up to all the different tubes and monitors.

  I thought back to the first night I found her.

  When I came and saw her connected to so many machines, I really thought there was no way she could survive, but she did.

  This time she was awake, but my heart ached so much more this time around.

  “Hey,” I said as I reached her room.

  “Hey,” she said with a smile the moment she saw me. “It’s over. It’s really over.”

  “It is,” I nodded as I took the seat next to her and took her hand. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you awake and smiling.”

  “I will leave you two alone,” Doctor Bellamy said as he walked towards the door. “I will bring the rest of the family down then we will take you to surgery.”

  “Thank you,” she said giving him a bright smile, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked once we were alone.

  “Scared,” she replied honestly.

  “You have nothing to be afraid of,” I said, squeezing her hand. “I am right here, and you are going to be just fine.”

  “If I have this operation, I could forget you,” she said, as tears danced in her eyes. I smiled as I moved even closer to the bed.

  “That will never happen,” I reassured her, as I swallowed the huge lump of grief in my throat.

  “Why not?” She asked as the tears trickled down her face.

  “Because you know me in here,” I smiled as I pressed my hand over her heart. “You know me in your heart, and when you truly love someone, the heart never forgets.”

  “You really think so?” She sobbed softly.

  “I know so,” I said as I brushed the tears from her face. “So, don’t worry, everything will turn out just fine.”

  She smiled and nodded, but I knew she was still terrified.

  Her Dad and Allister arrived, followed by the rest of my family. They all came in and, one by one, they kissed her.

  “Beth,” Jaime said from the doorway. “It’s time to go.”

  She looked up at me, and searched my face then smiled.

  “I am not going to forget you,” she whispered.

  “I will never forget you,” I said, as I quickly blinked back tears. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek then whispered in her ear. “I love you, Scarlet. That’s who you are to me, and I will never forget.”

  Without saying another word, I stood up and moved out of the way as the orderlies came to take her to surgery. The whole time they were getting her ready, her eyes never left mine. My heart ached as I watched them wheel her out of her room. I followed he
r out but didn’t go with her. Her father and Allister walked along the corridor, next to her bed.

  When they reached the end of the hallway, I watched as Allister leaned down and kissed her and for the first time since they arrived, I realised she didn’t belong with me. Allister was right, I was not her happy ever after. Even if she was mine.

  I suddenly felt like I just had to get out of there, I turned and headed back along the corridor, each step I took, a little faster than the last.

  “OLLY!” Caitlin called after me as she followed me down the corridor. “You’re leaving?”

  “It’s the right thing to do, Caits,” I said trying to sound more convinced than I felt. I stopped and turned back to look at her. “They are her family; she belongs with them.”

  “And what about you, Olly?” Caitlin asked. “Why doesn’t she belong with you?”

  “Scarlet belongs with me,” I replied, as I could hold back the tears no longer. I turned away and quickly brushed them from my face, before I looked back at Caitlin. “But Scarlet is gone, and I need to let go of Beth.”

  Before she could reply, I turned and hurried towards the exit.

  When I reached the elevator, I stepped inside and turned back to face Caitlin. I could see her standing there and the look on her face almost killed me.

  As the doors closed, I released a long deep breath and tried to push all my heart break out with it, but it was no use.

  When I reached the truck, I climbed in and started the engine, but I couldn’t hold back the grief anymore. I buried my face in my and sobbed.

  Losing Clea, I knew I had lost the woman I loved, but losing Scarlet…I felt like I had lost my soul. I was completely broken. I loved her so much but now it was over.

  Chapter 35

  Scarlet

  I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room. My head hurt, but I remembered. That was all I cared about. Dad was dozing in the chair next to me. I turned, expecting to see Oliver sitting there, but instead I was greeted with a smile from Allister.

  “You’re awake,” he said cautiously as he leaned forward in his seat and smiled at me. “How are you feeling?”

  “My head hurts,” I replied, feeling a little bit deflated.

  “I’m sure the doctor can give you something for the pain,” he said with another cautious smile. “Do you know who I am, Beth?”

  “Yes,” I replied and forced a smile. “And I know who I am. I remember everything. I am thirsty.”

  “Sweetheart,” my dad said sitting up suddenly, when my voice woke him. “How are you feeling?”

  “She remembers,” Allister said, before I could even respond. It was something he had always done, and it almost drove me crazy. One of the many things that did.

  “Well, that’s great news,” he said, taking hold of my hand. “I have been so worried about you. But you are alive and safe, this nightmare is finally over. We can go home.”

  I smiled and tried my hardest to appear happy, but inside my heart was breaking. All I wanted was Oliver. I thought he would have been here when I woke up, I was so confused.

  “I’m thirsty,” I said again, looking at Allister. I was hoping he would go get me a drink so I could talk to my Dad alone, but he just turned to the locker and poured me a drink from the jug of water on there.

  “Maybe we should see if she is allowed to drink that first?” Dad said as he reached for the call button and pressed it.

  A couple of moments later, the door opened, and Jaime appeared. Her face lit up when she saw that I was awake.

  “You’re awake,” she said as she came towards the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay, Jaime,” I replied, confirming I still remembered who she was before she had to ask me. “Well, except for the banging headache.”

  “You remember,” she smiled squeezing my hand. “I can get you something for the pain.”

  I nodded and stared at her, trying to tell her I needed to talk to her without saying the words. She looked at me for a moment, but then she smiled and nodded at me, letting me know she understood.

  “But I would like to make you a little more comfortable and I need to check your dressings first,” she continued as she looked from my dad to Allister. “If you gentlemen wouldn’t mind waiting outside, I shouldn’t be long.”

  “But…” Allister began to protest, but Dad stopped him.

  “We can go for a coffee,” he said standing up. “And give Beth the privacy she needs.”

  He gave me a look that I didn’t understand, then he smiled at me. Allister leaned down to kiss me and I gave him my cheek. He kissed it but looked a little thrown by what I had done.

  “We won’t be long,” he reassured me, then followed my dad out of the room.

  “Thank you,” I said to Jaime when we were finally alone.

  You’re welcome,” she said as she pulled back my blankets a little. “It was only a little white lie; I do need to check the dressings on your stomach. But I thought you might need a moment to think.”

  She carefully lifted up my hospital gown and checked the dressings on my stomach, then looked up at me and smiled.

  “I know you probably don’t feel it,” she said as she gently pulled the hospital gown back down. “But you were very lucky. A couple of centimetres over and this deeper wound would have been far more serious. I think your poor body has already been through enough.”

  “I don’t feel particularly lucky,” I said watching her closely. I wondered if I should ask her about Oliver. Her eyes met mine and all I could see was pity. It made me feel so pathetic.

  “He hasn’t been here,” she said suddenly, as if reading my mind. “His mom and sister, Caitlin stopped by earlier, but Olly hasn’t. Caitlin said no one has heard from him.”

  “Oh,” was all I could say as my eyes instantly filled up with tears. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I quickly blinked back the tears. I refused to cry.

  “It’s okay to cry,” Jaime said taking hold of my hand.

  “What’s the point?” I croaked, trying to push the sadness back down inside me. “It won’t change anything.”

  Before she could reply, Allister came back into the room, followed by my dad. He looked at me and I knew he could see I was upset but chose not to push it.

  “I will bring you something for the pain,” Jaime said, giving me another smile.

  “How are you feeling?” Dad asked as he sat back down next to me.

  “Tired mostly,” I lied and forced a smile. The truth was my heart was broken beyond repair. I just wanted to go back to sleep and never have to wake up again. “And sick of hospitals.”

  “We will get you home soon,” he said, giving me a funny look. “If that’s what you want?”

  “Of course, she wants to come home,” Allister said with a nervous laugh. “She belongs back in London with us.”

  “Is that what you want, sweetheart?” My dad asked, looking straight into my eyes. Searching for what, I didn’t know.

  “Yes,” I replied as my heart broke a little more. “I just want to go home.”

  It had been almost a week since I returned to London and all I could do was think about Oliver. I missed him so much I could barely breathe.

  I had spent six days in the hospital and each time the door opened to my room, my heart broke all over again because it wasn’t Oliver. His family had visited me every day and I could see that they were hurting as much as I was.

  On the night before I left to come back to London, Tom came to visit me late in the night.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said as he slipped into the room. “I had hoped that Olly might have been here.”

  I wasn’t asleep anyway,” I said as I eased myself up in the bed. “And no, he hasn’t been here.”

  “Beth,” Tom said, and I smiled. It still sounded strange hearing him call me Beth. Part of me wished he wouldn’t. “I wish you wouldn’t leave tomorrow.”

  “There is nothing for me here,” I s
aid sadly.

  “We’re here for you,” he said as he pulled the chair closer to my bed and sat down. “Olly is still here, somewhere.”

  “He doesn’t want me, Tom,” I said as hot, salty tears burned my eyes.

  “I understand why you believe that,” he replied with a sad smile. “I know that’s how it seems, but that’s not how it is. He thinks he is doing the right thing. But I know my son, and I know he loves you more than life itself.”

  “I love him too,” I said as I finally gave in to the tears. “I love you all so much, I really do. But I can’t stay here. It just hurts too much.”

  “It’s there anything I can say to make you change your mind?” He asked and I felt like I was a heartless bitch, but I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. I shook my head and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.

  “This is the right thing to do,” I sobbed softly but managed to give him a small smile. “I promise I will keep in touch. You guys are my family now too, whether you like it or not. I will never forget what you did for me.”

  “And Oliver?” He asked.

  “I will always love him, Tom,” I replied wishing that loving him was enough.

  “Okay,” he said as he stood up and kissed me softly on my forehead. “I will let you get some rest. You have a long day tomorrow. I really do wish you all the best, Beth. I hope you find happiness.”

  As I sat on the window seat, in my Dad’s apartment looking out at Hyde Park, I remembered the look on Tom’s face as he left my room that night. I wish I could have been stronger and given him the answers he wanted. I wish things had turned out very differently.

  I thought about our time in the butterfly field and wondered if I would ever see the butterflies in the summer. I somehow doubted that now.

  I sighed as I could feel the sadness take hold of my heart again. I wondered if this pain was ever gonna leave me alone.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” my Dad said from the doorway of the room. I turned and smiled at him, before turning back to the window.

  “I was just thinking,” I shrugged.

  “You were miles away,” he said as he slowly walked across the room and sat on the window seat next to me. “Or at least wishing you were.”