Demon Disgrace

by M. J. Haag

I looked down the hall at the guest bathroom’s closed door.

  “Did you tell him how that made you feel?” she asked.

  “I told him he needed to shower so I could hug him.”

  “Come on, Hannah. You can do better than that. Go make his day.”

  I looked at Emily, a small smile curving my lips. Hadn’t I just admitted to myself that I had a little devil in me? It seemed my friend was just as bad.

  “Fine, but you better beat down the door if you hear spankings and me screaming for help.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I paused at the door, listened to the sound of the shower and splashing water, then let myself in. The splashing stopped.

  “It’s just me,” I said. “Want company?”

  I meant that I would sit in the bathroom with him while he showered; but as soon as I said it, I pictured both of us behind the flowered shower curtain.

  Without overthinking what I was about to do, I pulled my shirt over my head, tossed my bra aside, and unzipped my pants. I hesitated at my underwear then decided I was being stupid and took those off as well. He’d been around me when I was naked countless times. Why worry about it now?

  “Does silence mean a yes?” I asked. “In my world, silence doesn’t mean consent, so I really need you to say something.” I opened the curtain enough to peek in at him.

  Merdon stood there, a grey-skinned god with rivulets of water running over his chiseled form. I may have drooled a little in the time it took my gaze to do a slow, head to toe sweep of him. The man was huge everywhere. And I meant, everywhere. My regard lingered on the thick length of his shaft that lay heavily between his legs.

  “I hear that a woman with big boobs hates running because the bounce makes her boobs hurt. How do you run with that thing?”

  “Snug pants.”

  I finally looked up, meeting his heated gaze.

  “Can I join you?”

  “Yes.”

  Stepping behind the curtain, I stood in the steam-filled space at the back of the tub and received the same close study I’d given him. While I’d been naked in his presence more times than I could count, this was the first time he purposefully looked at me. The heat in his gaze warmed my middle, but his silence made me nervous.

  “Have you already used soap?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thank you. I hated that you left me. A lot. I was lonely and miserable without you. But, why you left makes up for all of that.”

  Merdon reached out, the heat of his hand branding my waist as he slowly tugged me forward. The touch of his chest to mine sent a shiver through me. He not only felt it, but he saw it...just like he saw everything when it came to me.

  His hold changed, and his fingers gripped my chin, tipping my head back. He studied me for a moment then slowly lowered his lips to mine.

  It wasn’t the same as the angry kiss or as demanding as the second one, but the way his lips brushed tenderly over mine was far more potent. I tipped my head farther back, hungry for more.

  His fingers played with the ends of my hair then trailed down my spine to grab my ass at the same time his tongue traced the seam of my lips. Another shiver raced through me, and I opened them for him. He hungrily delved deeper, his need taking the kiss to another level. His hips arched against me, and the thick length of him twitched between us.

  I lifted my hands from his waist, hooking them around his neck and trailing my fingers over his skin.

  He broke away for a moment to look down at me.

  “I’m afraid to trust this.”

  “Because you’re smart. You see through my bullshit. You always have. Right now, this is real. And, I think it’ll stay real for me. That doesn’t mean I won’t have problems. That doesn’t mean that everything will be fine with me. We both know that I have issues. But this is good for me. You’re good for me. Just make sure I’m good for you. If I ever get to be too much, I’m telling you now, walk away from me. Save yourself.”

  “Never,” he growled before his lips claimed mine again. The intensity and anger were back. I loved it. I loved his sweet kiss too. I was pretty sure I loved all of him.

  The hand on my ass moved lower, slowly sliding from my backside to my folds.

  I squeaked at the exploratory invasion. I hadn’t thought we were to that stage yet. Heck, I hadn’t thought he’d know how to navigate that part. But he managed beautifully, skimming over my channel and going right for the sweet spot. He circled my clit twice, came close to gliding over it, and dodged at the last second. I squirmed, trying to chase his fingertip.

  “Be still, Hannah,” he said, nipping my bottom lip just as he slid a finger inside of me.

  I howled. Or maybe it was a moan. I couldn’t be sure. My eyes were rolled back, and my heart was thundering in my ears. He moved it in and out of me a few times as if taking my measure, then added a second finger and more pressure.

  “Yes,” I groaned. “Yes. More.”

  “Shh,” he whispered against my ear. “Stay quiet or I will stop.”

  I nodded and lifted my lips, begging for another kiss.

  “No. I will watch your face. Your lips can lie. Your face does not.”

  He withdrew his fingers, and I opened my eyes to scowl at him. He grunted.

  “That makes you sad and almost angry.”

  “Of course it does. I wasn’t done yet.”

  His finger skimmed over my clit, and I jerked at the sensation.

  “That makes you happy.”

  “Stop narrating, and put your finger back where it belongs, dammit.”

  He grunted and, oh so slowly, slid a finger back into me. I ground down on it, and he swatted my backside. It wasn’t the stinging slap from the basement but a quieter, gentler version.

  I scowled at him again.

  “What’d I do wrong now?”

  “Stay still. Your movements are distracting me.”

  “Well, your lack of movement is annoying me. It feels like you’re not into this like I am.”

  He tilted his head and looked down at me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, do you want me or not? Because I can’t tell right now. It seems more like I’m a plaything. Shiny new toys are quickly forgotten. Or broken.”

  He leaned over me, taking my chin with his free hand while his other hand played with my entrance.

  “You are a plaything. My plaything.” His finger delved deeper. “And I have waited so long to touch you. To watch your face and learn what makes you happy.” And deeper still. “To see what makes you want more.

  “I will not forget you, and I will not break you.”

  He added the second finger again, and the pressure made my eyes want to close. I dug my fingers into his hair and did my best to focus.

  “Do you promise?” I asked, breathless.

  “I swear.”

  I gave myself over to him, trusting him in a world filled with shattered dreams and walking nightmares. Because with him, I felt safe. With him, I felt.

  His fingers teased me relentlessly as he stared down at me. My legs shook with need, and I let it show. His gaze devoured every nuance in my expression. He learned just where to touch me and just how much I could handle before I teetered on the precipice. Pleas poured from my lips.

  He growled low and kissed me hard, leaving me panting and so close.

  “You are mine, Hannah. Always.”

  I agreed. Anything for him to end my torment.

  He set his lips to my shoulder and pinched my skin with his teeth, the sting sending a jolt through me. I clenched around his fingers, and he grunted.

  “Enough playing,” he said.

  Without warning, he dropped to one knee, pressed me against the wall, and set his mouth to me. I shattered at the first flick of his tongue, his fingers still buried deep inside of me. My eyelids fluttered closed as the rolling waves of pleasure consumed me.

  He continued to kiss me slowly as the aftershocks stole the strength from my knees. H
is grip stayed firm, holding me in place. I never wanted it to end but was too spent to keep myself upright.

  Hands on his shoulders, I managed to open my eyes and look down at him. His knowing gaze met mine as he withdrew with a final lick.

  “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” I tried to joke.

  “Better.”

  “We’re not done yet, though, right?”

  He stood and stared down at me.

  “For now,” he said.

  “We have company. I will get you some clothes. Stay here.”

  Just like that, he left me leaning against the tile, ears still ringing from a mind-blowing orgasm after dropping a bomb that there was someone else in the house.

  I stared at the door, which he’d considerately closed behind him, and imagined him walking bare-assed in front of Emily. I smirked.

  She was the one who’d invited him in.

  A few minutes later, he returned with a handful of clothes and was already dressed.

  “Hurry up,” he said.

  I shook my head at him and dressed quickly while wondering if he’d always boss me around. Probably. But I also knew I wouldn’t always listen. The anticipation of how he’d retaliate had me grinning as I tugged my clothes on.

  Decently covered, I emerged and found Uan and Nancy waiting in the living room with a very pink-tinged Emily. Not one to be left out, I quickly joined Emily on the sofa, my hue matching hers. Uan sat in the chair, Nancy comfortably seated on his lap.

  “Ah, sorr—”

  Nancy waved away the apology.

  “Don’t. I’ve been there. There’s no point in apologizing.” She glanced at Emily. “You might want to have someone find you some earplugs, though. It doesn’t get out of their systems for a while.”

  Emily gave a weak smile of agreement before Nancy focused on me again.

  “I heard you wanted to talk,” she said.

  “I do. But I was willing to come to you.”

  “And rob me of an opportunity to get out of the house? Nonsense.” Nancy looked around the room. “It’s very nice in here. Cleaner than I expected for two girls your ages. In my college years, the place I lived in was a shithole.”

  “Different world,” Emily said.

  “Which is why I’m here,” Nancy said, looking at me. “I heard you don’t want Tasha to go out tomorrow.”

  “It’s too dangerous out there.”

  “Go where?” Emily asked.

  “To get the animals we found,” Merdon said. “Tasha believes there will be food there for her cat. What do they eat?”

  “Dry kibble, meat, milk, stuff like that,” Nancy said. “Some of which we have but need for ourselves.”

  “I’m sure the fey can find what she needs,” Emily said.

  “I’m sure they can, too. But Tasha’s leaving isn’t about finding the supplies. It’s about finding her place in this world. Are we only here as bed warmers, or are we here to participate in some way, however small, in remaking this world into what we want it to be?”

  “Participate, of course,” I answered, “but that doesn’t mean we need to allow children outside the wall.”

  “Brenna told me she already pointed out that it’s not the wall that keeps us safe. Uan will go with Tasha and thirty other volunteers. If they can’t keep her safe out there, nothing will.”

  “I heard that Brenna was almost bitten twice,” Emily said softly. “And that was under Thallirin’s watchful eye.”

  “The infected are getting smarter,” Nancy acknowledged. “But so are we. The humans who go out wear layers of thick material that’s hard to break through with teeth.”

  “And when the infected get smart enough to cut it away?” Emily asked.

  “Then we’ll learn to adapt to that, too. But I’m hoping that the fey who go out at night are making the world a better place, one headless infected at a time.”

  I looked at Uan then Merdon.

  “Fey are going out at night?”

  “Yes, we kill any infected that gather.”

  “Are there a lot of them?”

  “No. Very few since they came here and killed so many.”

  “I hate not knowing where they’ve gone and why they’re staying away,” Emily said softly.

  “Exactly,” Nancy said.

  I didn’t see how Emily’s concern proved her point, and Nancy must have seen the confusion on my face because she smiled at me a little.

  “Staying inside Tolerance’s wall, we’re clueless. What if the infected are doing something out there? What if they’re learning something? Or worse, what if they’re all gone? What if the hellhounds killed them?

  “How is that worse?” I asked. “Isn’t wiping out the infected what we want to do?”

  “It is. But if they’re all gone and we’re living in fear in here, missing the opportunity to find survivors, supplies, animals that will help us rebuild into something sustainable, isn’t just sitting here worse?”

  I hated that I could see her point. We didn’t know what we didn’t know, and staying here wouldn’t help us in any way. Yes, the fey were going out, and they were smart, but there were things the fey still didn’t know. That was why humans who understood the world needed to travel with them.

  “But it doesn’t have to be Tasha,” I said. “She’s too young.”

  “The infected are evolving. If I keep her here, she won’t evolve with them. She’ll be like me. An easy target. I can’t do that to her. Instead, I can send her out with a personal escort and hope that she comes home to us. And, hope that I’m still here when she does.”

  Uan hugged her closer, and I was reminded of the truth again. We were all going to die. Some of us had accepted that and had already given up, a path I’d been on for so long. Some, like Nancy, acknowledged their impending death and were determined to fight for every day they were given. Yet, there were others who still hadn’t caught on, and I pitied them for the harsh reality they still had to face. It would be no kinder than the one I was facing now.

  I forced myself to see the truth in what I’d known all along. The safety inside our fey-built wall of cars was an illusion. Anything could happen inside the wall just as well as it could happen out there. My fight to keep Tasha here was as pointless as my belief that I was safer here.

  My gaze locked on Merdon. He was my safety.

  “I’m going with you tomorrow.”

  He grunted at the same time Nancy smiled.

  “You’re smart, Hannah,” she said. “I’ll be going outside the wall myself, once the weather warms. I hate this feeling of false security. I feel lulled by it even though I know better. Staying sharp means staying alive. Stick with my girls and the fey. You’ll be fine.”

  She looked at Emily.

  “What about you? Will you be going?”

  “No. I’m content to stay. We’re like the cows. Keep the herd divided and hope the infected don’t attack all the places at once. That way, at least some of us will survive.”

  Nancy nodded slowly.

  “I guess we are.” Her fingers played with the edges of Uan’s shirt. “We should get going. I want to spend some time with my girls before they go out tomorrow. Be smart out there. Keep your eyes and ears open. See if you can figure out where the infected went or, better yet, where the animals are all hiding.”

  Uan stood with her.

  “Thanks for hearing me out,” she said.

  “Thanks for talking to me,” I said.

  Merdon got the door for them then turned to look at me.

  “I’m going,” I said before he could object. “I hated being left behind. It didn’t feel safe.”

  “You will do nothing to hurt yourself while we are out there,” he said.

  I almost smiled at the command.

  “Not intentionally. But we both know this world isn’t a safe place.”

  He grunted.

  “You bring her back, Merdon,” Emily said, her strange tone drawing my attention. “Swear to me. No ac
cidents. I couldn’t live through a second one.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “Tell her,” Merdon said. “It’s time she knows.”

  I glanced between the two of them as he crossed his arms and gave me that stern look he usually gave when I’d done something wrong. This time, like so many others, I was clueless.

  “What’d I do?” I asked Emily.

  “It’s not what you did. It’s what my sister did.”

  For a heartbeat, I thought her sister had done what I should have, sacrificed herself for Emily.

  “She died in a car accident two years before the quakes,” Emily said softly. “She was my best friend. My twin. And she left me.”

  The pain in her eyes cut a knife through my middle, and guilt hurtled through me.

  “We always did everything together. Except the day she died. She ran to the store for some chocolate icing for our birthday cake.”

  “Emily, I’m so sorry.”

  “Do you know what her name was? Hailey Anna Belle. My family called her Hannah-bell. I called her Hannah.” Her gaze held mine. “I died that day, too. My life wasn’t the same. I went through the motions. When everything fell apart, I thought, ‘finally, I can let go.’ But no matter where I went or who I was with, it was never me who died. It wasn’t until I met you that I understood there was a reason. I might not be the sister you lost, but you’re the sister I found. I can’t lose you.”

  It wasn’t the first time I’d heard her tell me she couldn’t lose me, but it was the first time I fully understood it.

  Eyes watering, I leaned in to hug her hard.

  “I don’t want to be lost anymore. I’m so glad you found me.”

  “Do you mean it?” she sniffled. “Even though I broke the rules.”

  I pulled back and held her face in my hands.

  “Especially since you broke the rules. Thank you. For being there. For caring and never giving up. For everything.”

  “I’ll be back for dinner,” Merdon said quietly before leaving.

  I released her.

  “Why is he always doing that?” I grumbled. “He just got back.”

  “I think he’s trying to give me some time with you. I mean, he just had some time with you. A good time, based on what I could hear.”