Very Popular Me
Page 1
About The New Kid: Very Popular Me
Sam’s finally got what he always wanted – he’s popular!
He’s owns the school’s most wanted marble, kids sit with him at lunch and even Johnny Wilson has stopped calling him ‘derr-brain’.
Things are looking up at home too. When his new baby sister arrives, he’ll no longer be a lonely, only child.
But when Sam becomes the teacher’s pet his popularity drops faster than a tomato in a lift. Soon even his best friend Gary won’t talk to him, and the new kid at home is a crying disaster.
Who knew that getting exactly what you wanted could be so painful?
Contents
About The New Kid: Very Popular Me
Title Page
Contents
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
About James O’Loghlin
Also by James O’Loghlin
Copyright
To my family – They know who they are.
1
POPULAR ME
Mum was shaking my shoulder. ‘Monday morning, Samuel. Up you get.’
As I get older it gets harder to get out of bed, especially on school days.
In year 1, I was fine.
MUM: Samuel. Time to get up.
SAM: Okay.
By year 3, it got more difficult.
MUM: Samuel. Time to get up.
SAM: Grumpff.
MUM: Come on, Samuel.
SAM: (SLEEPILY) Five more minutes?
In the first part of year 6, when we’d just moved to Canberra and I didn’t have any friends, it was really hard.
MUM: Samuel. Time to get up.
SAM: (SILENCE)
MUM: Samuel?
SAM: (SILENCE)
MUM: (SHAKES SAM’S SHOULDERS) Come on.
SAM: NO! NOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
If it kept getting worse, what would I be like by year 12?
But then, halfway through year 6, after the school play where I’d managed to turn disaster on stage (splitting my pants and breaking my horse in half) into triumph (with a brilliant fart joke),* getting out of bed became a lot easier, because I’d finally got what I wanted – I was popular!
Or at least, more popular than I had been. It wasn’t like I was getting mobbed whenever I walked through the school gate.
But I was hanging out with other kids at recess and lunch (the chocolate biscuits Mum gave me helped), getting invited to birthday parties, and Johnny Wilson had even stopped throwing my bag into the girls’ toilet. He and I had a much better relationship now.
BEFORE THE SCHOOL PLAY
(IN THE CORRIDOR. JOHNNY WILSON WALKS PAST SAM.)
SAM: Hi, Johnny.
JOHNNY WILSON: Don’t talk to me, idiot-features, or I’ll smash ya.
AFTER THE SCHOOL PLAY
(IN THE CORRIDOR. JOHNNY WILSON WALKS PAST SAM.)
SAM: Hi, Johnny.
JOHNNY WILSON: (KEEPS WALKING, IGNORES SAM)
Okay, we didn’t exactly have a deep friendship, but being ignored was definitely a step up from being threatened with violence and called ‘idiot-features’.
Things were better in class too.
BEFORE THE SCHOOL PLAY
MR BOREMAN: Everyone get into groups of two. (TWENTY SECONDS LATER)
MR BOREMAN: Sam, who are you with? No one? Again? Who wants to be Sam’s partner? (LONG PAUSE) No one? Again? Oh-kay. Sam, I’ll be your partner. Again.
AFTER THE SCHOOL PLAY
MR BOREMAN: Everyone get into groups of two. (TWENTY SECONDS LATER)
MR BOREMAN: Oscar and Gary, you can’t both be Sam’s partner. You two team up and I’ll go with Sam.
Things were also going well for my best (and, until recently, only) friend Gary. He used to be even less popular than me, but now he had a secret weapon. His parents had just put in a pool. (Actually it wasn’t a secret weapon. If he’d kept it a secret, it wouldn’t have worked at all.)
It was nearly summer and once word got around that he had a pool, everyone suddenly wanted to be Gary’s friend. On hot days, kids would cluster around him, hoping for an invite. You could say it’s bad to be friends with someone just because they’ve got a pool, but it’s not that simple. When someone has something you want, it just makes you like them more.
For example:
KID WITHOUT A POOL: Mr Clarke’s new haircut looks like a rat died on his head.
SAM: That’s a bit harsh.
But . . .
KID WITH A POOL: Mr Clarke’s new haircut looks like a rat died on his head.
SAM: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Classic. Ha, ha, ha, ha. (PAUSE) So, what are you doing after school?
Gary always invited me over for a swim too, so his pool was helping us both make friends.
So when Mum shook my shoulder and told me it was time to get up, even though I was tired, I didn’t groan, complain or open my eyes. I just grunted, heaved myself out of bed and felt my way to the shower.
2
BEST MARBLE EVER!
Everything was going well, and then two things happened that pushed my popularity higher than Duncan Underwood’s pants (he pulled them up so high you could only see the top three buttons of his shirt).
At school, there was a marble craze. Everyone played in this dirt patch in pairs during recess and lunchtime (apart from Mitzy Galafrinkus, professional teacher’s pet. She either sat on her own doing work or was inside helping her teacher). You took turns to shoot, and whoever hit the other person’s marble first got to keep both marbles. After a few days, Johnny Wilson suggested we change the rules.
JOHNNY WILSON: How about instead of having to hit the other person’s marble, you just have to hit them? In the face. And whoever falls over first, loses.
Luckily, no one else wanted to do that.
One Saturday, just after the marble craze started, Mum said we had to clear out the garage to make room for the small person growing inside her who was soon going to become my sister.
‘Why? Is the baby going to sleep in the garage?’ I asked.
‘Of course not, Samuel!’ said Mum. ‘What a terrible thought. Oh, I’m sad just thinking about that.’
‘Well, then why do we need to clean . . .?’
‘Because we do! There’s a baby coming! We need to clean things! Now!’
That made no sense, but I didn’t say anything because Dad had told me to be extra nice to Mum because she was ‘nesting’. He said that’s when pregnant people get worried about not having things ready and want to clean everything five times.
The whole ‘new baby sister’ thing was pretty weird. I was slowly getting used to the idea, but I still had some questions.
QUESTIONS I HAD ABOUT THE WHOLE ‘NEW BABY SISTER’ BUSINESS
Would she take up so much of Mum and Dad’s time that they wouldn’t have time to make me do boring stuff like go on bushwalks or to the art gallery? Yay!
Would she take up so much of Mum and Dad’s time that they wouldn’t have time to feed me and I’d slowly starve to death? Not yay!
> How long would it be until she could help me put out the bins?
How long would it be until she could play backyard cricket and footy with me?
The garage was packed with junk because whenever Mum and Dad disagreed about whether to get rid of something (which was always) they’d just decide to put it in the garage to avoid having an argument. So now it was full of chairs, tables, lamps, books, a bed, a rocking horse, saucepans, tiles, cars (toy ones – our real car wouldn’t fit) and hundreds of other things.
When we moved from Adelaide to Canberra I thought they’d get rid of everything, but they still couldn’t agree, which meant we had to get an extra removalist truck to move all our junk from a garage in Adelaide to a garage in Canberra.
Mum, Dad and I were in the garage.
DAD: How about we get rid of those old saucepans?
Whenever Dad suggested we get rid of something, Mum always said the same thing.
MUM: We should probably keep them. Just in case.
SAM: In case of what? A world saucepan shortage?
MUM: Oh, Samuel. There’s no need to be like that.
DAD: (POINTS) What about that chair?
MUM: But that’s my aunt Mabel’s chair.
Aunt Mabel died before I was born and her old, smelly armchair has been in the garage my whole life.
DAD: Well, I’m pretty sure she’s not coming back for it!
MUM: Oh, Henry! That’s in terrible taste. Oh, dear. I’m upset now. I loved Aunt Mabel.
DAD: Sorry. But are we ever going to actually use that chair?
MUM: We can’t use it now, but you never know. Samuel might want it when he grows up.
SAM: I won’t.
MUM: Yes, you might.
SAM: ((PICKS UP GLASS JAR WITH MARBLES IN IT)) Can I have these marbles?
MUM: They were Aunt Mabel’s too. Perhaps we should keep them here. Just in case.
SAM: . . . of what?
MUM: In case of . . . (LONG SILENCE) Oh, all right, take the marbles! You’ve rushed me into it now. But be careful with them, (STARES AT SAM’S FEET, SHOCKED) You’re wearing thongs!
SAM: So?
MUM: There might be spiders! Oh, I should have checked your feet. (TO DAD) What if Samuel got bitten by a spider?
DAD: Spiders don’t usually attack. When they sense a larger creature approaching, they either freeze or retreat.
MUM: Oh, Henry, stop it with your facts. The point is I didn’t take care of Samuel properly, and when the baby arrives it’ll be even worse. (HUGS SAM) How am I going to take care of my little baby when I have another little baby?
SAM: I’m not really a baby anymore, Mum.
MUM: (LOOKS LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO CRY) You are so! You’re my baby and I need to take care of you. (HUGS SAM) I’m sorry, darling. I’m a terrible mother.
SAM: No, you’re not.
MUM: Sweet boy. Now go inside before you die.
Most of the marbles in the jar had cat’s eye patterns like normal, but one was bigger and had a really cool, orange swirly design inside. When I brought it to school on Monday, everyone went nuts.
NOAH: WHOORR!
EVA: Gis a look!
LOTS OF OTHER KIDS: Geez! Wow! Gis a look!
CHARLOTTE: I’ve never seen one like that before. What’s it called?
SAM: Huh? Um . . . it’s . . . er . . . a Swirly.
Suddenly I was a marble celebrity.
Every time I went to the marble field I got mobbed by kids wanting to play me, and even when I wasn’t playing, kids came up just wanting to look at Swirly. I had something everyone wanted, which meant that they all liked me, or at least pretended to.
This was what I’d always wanted. I was living the dream! And things were about to get even better.
3
SAM’S GOT A WHAT?
The next day at lunch I was walking across the playground when my life turned upside down. (AMY APPROACHES SAM)
AMY: Hi, Sam.
This was already weird. Girls hardly ever spoke to me. And Amy was part of Julia DiCarlo’s group, the coolest girls’ group. They never spoke to anyone. SAM: Er . . . umm . . . like . . . hi?
AMY: Wanna be my boyfriend?
SAM: (EYES BULGE, FACE TURNS RED) Whaa . . .
AMY: Is that a ‘yes’?
SAM: Ga . . . zzzzz . . .
AMY: Look I have to go to the toilet, so is it ‘yes’ or ‘no’? If you don’t want to, I’ll ask someone else.
SAM: Whunnnnggg . . .
AMY: I’m going to take that as a ‘yes’. Okay? Great. You’re my boyfriend. We’ll walk around together at lunch next week so everyone can see us. See ya.
She walked off, leaving me stunned, questions whizzing around my brain.
SOME OF THE QUESTIONS WHIZZING AROUND MY BRAIN
Did I now have a girlfriend?
What did ‘having a girlfriend’ even mean?
Did girls normally come up to boys they hardly knew and ask them to be their boyfriend?
Was I ready to be in a serious relationship? Or was I too young to settle down?
Who was Amy, anyway? All I really knew about her was she had a ponytail, was good at maths and was in Julia DiCarlo’s group.
What if it was all a prank?
I looked over to Julia DiCarlo’s group to see if they were all laughing at me, but they were just sitting around flicking their hair.
(GARY APPROACHES)
GARY: Why are you just standing there?
SAM: (DISTRACTED) What?
GARY: And how come Amy was talking to you? (TEASING) She your girlfriend or something?
SAM: (IN SHOCK) Yeah.
GARY: Yeah, right.
SAM: She . . . said . . . she . . . my . . . girlfriend.
GARY: (DISBELIEVING) No way!
SAM: Serious.
GARY: No! Way!
SAM: Serious.
GARY: Serious?!
SAM: Yep.
(GARY’S MOUTH FALLS OPEN, THEN HE RUNS OFF)
GARY: SAM’S GOT A GIRLFRIEND! HE’S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!
Everyone was super-impressed and immediately started treating me like I’d done something amazing. That settled it. If having a girlfriend made me cool, I had to make this relationship work.
But how? Should I take Amy on long walks along the beach at sunset? But I hated long walks. And Canberra didn’t have any beaches, except a little pebbly one down at the lake that would take about two minutes to walk along. Should we walk laps of it?
I could work the details out later. The important thing was that, just a couple of days ago, I’d thought I was doing well to have a few friends. But now, with Swirly and a girlfriend, maybe I could become one of the most popular kids in school.
4
HOW NOT TO HOLD HANDS
Mum was really happy that I finally had some friends (I didn’t tell her about Amy, obviously, because she would have freaked out), although it did create some tension when I wanted to do things with them on the weekend.
SAM: Okay if I ride my bike to Woden Plaza, Mum?
MUM: I’ll drive you, darling. I’ve got some shopping to do.
SAM: Thanks. I’m going to meet Gary and Noah and Oscar and get some lunch in the food court.
MUM: What fun! I love the food court. And Gary’s such a nice boy. And I’d love to meet your other friends.
SAM: Mum . . . umm . . . it’s . . . there won’t be any other parents there.
MUM: That’s all right, darling. I don’t mind being the only grown-up. I think I’ll have sushi. I love sushi, don’t you?
SAM: No, I meant . . . It was sort of going to be . . . just us.
MUM: Just you and me? And then your friends invited themselves along? Oh, that’s so sweet, darling. It would have been lovely to spend some time just with you. But we’ll have a fun lunch together with your friends and maybe afterwards you and I could go for a nice, long walk, just the two of us.
SAM: No, I meant just . . . us . . . kids.
MUM: (LONG PAUSE) Oh
. Yes. Of course. (STIFFLY) Of course. How silly of me. No, it’s fine. Fine. Where are my sunglasses? (GRABS SUNGLASSES AND QUICKLY PUTS THEM ON) That’s better.
SAM: Why are you wearing sunglasses inside, Mum?
MUM: So you can’t see.
SAM: See what?
MUM: My tears.
To cheer Mum up, I agreed to walk around Woden Plaza with her before I met my friends.
But then, when we got there, she tried to hold my hand! What if someone saw?
SAM: (PULLS HIS HAND AWAY) Sorry, Mum, my hands are really sweaty.
MUM: But we’re inside. It’s air-conditioned.
SAM: I know. Weird, hey?
5
HELPFUL SILLY ME
Sometime things change suddenly, and you instantly go from happy to miserable, like when you drop your ice-cream or get hit by a flying cow. Other times, they change so gradually that you don’t even realise your life is being ruined until it’s too late to do anything about it.
That’s what happened with my popularity. And it was all the fault of the magpies. They’d started swooping me on my way to school. The first time it happened I was riding along and sensed something coming at me, but had no idea whether it was a bird, a plane or Mum chasing after me because I’d forgotten my lunch. Then something whacked me on the helmet and I got such a shock I crashed into a tree.
I found out later that magpies swoop to protect their babies, but it’s all a huge misunderstanding. We don’t want their babies. We just want to get to school. The Prime Minister and the Queen of the Magpies should get together and work it out.
Gary said putting spikes on your helmet keeps them away, so that night I stuck some wooden skewers from our Thai takeaway ‘chicken on sticks’ on my helmet.
Next morning, when I entered the ‘HighRisk Magpie Danger Zone’ (the street next to the park), I got swooped by about ten of them, and after I crashed, they kept pecking at the sticks. I guess they like Thai food.
The next day I tried waving my tennis racquet above my head.