So, I’d learn to live like this. I’d be the spinster. Maybe I needed to get a cat. I chastised myself for these thoughts. Even I was getting annoyed at myself.
I was home after school, cutting fruit, in uniform pieces, for a fruit salad with my microwave dinner, when there was a knock on the door. My heart still jumped with hope whenever there was a knock or my phone rang. But it was never Tucker. This time was no different when Sinclair and Trina smiled at me on the porch.
“Hey, Holly. Since you’ve been MIA we’ve brought the fun to you,” Trina said.
“Plus some campaign stuff,” Sinclair added. Then she frowned. “Something’s wrong.”
How it was possible she didn’t know, was beyond me. I had to be the center of all gossip. Plus, Tucker was friends with Brooke, who worked with both Trina and Sinclair.
“We brought wine.” Trina held up two bottles. “One for each of you. Me, I’m drinking juice these days.” I envied her to have found love and now expecting a child created from that love.
I stared at them, not sure what to say or do.
“We’re good listeners,” Sinclair said.
“And if it’s fake marriage related, we can help,” Trina added.
“We’re experts,” Sinclair finished.
I let them in because the truth was, I needed to talk to someone. A few minutes later, with a glass full of wine, I spilled about everything. I recounted to them my meeting with Meredith where she assumed I was married, and Tucker his offering to help.
“The thing is, I know the mayor’s office has been helpful with the library project, but I can’t work on that anymore. At Meredith’s party, Rick showed up and exposed me as a liar. I haven’t talked to her, but maybe if she knew I was out of the project she’d still donate.”
“What is Rick doing back?” Trina asked. “And why at Meredith Reynolds? He’s not a mover and shaker.”
“He showed up with Stark and Wallace.”
Sinclair’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh hell no,” Trina said. She looked at Sinclair, “I knew there was something shady going on there. We had some calls about the library thing and I …they just sounded off. Like someone from Wallace’s office or Stark’s henchmen. I told them to go fuck themselves…in a polite professional way, of course.”
“I don't know what their agenda was. I just know that she won’t support it if I’m involved.”
“Is that why you stopped helping in the campaign too?” Sinclair asked. “I keep wondering why Tucker has been showing up to help and not you.”
“Tucker is helping?”
She nodded. “Yes. I haven’t really talked to him. Brooke puts him to work and he does it. But it was weird to see him without you.”
“Did your fake marriage start to feel real?” Trina asked.
“It’s complicated.”
Trina laughed. “I get it.”
“So, what’s with Rick?” Sinclair asked. “Are you and he working things out?”
“Hell no!”
Both the ladies flinched and then laughed.
“I see now that he wasn’t right for me or me for him. I was probably just feeling like if I didn’t take him now, I wouldn’t ever have a chance to get married and have a family. I’m glad he jilted me because it would have been a mistake to marry him.”
“You know, I think we all saw that,” Sinclair said. “You’re a vibrant woman who’s luster always dimmed around him. Maybe I should have asked about it, but you can never know what’s between two people.”
I nodded. “I’d have probably denied it at the time.”
“So what about Tucker?” Trina asked.
I shrugged. What could I say?
“What happened there?” Sinclair asked, gently.
“The ruse was over, so I told him to leave.”
Sinclair studied me. “I thought you had feelings for him.”
I nodded, having a hard time saying the words.
“He didn’t feel the same?” Trina asked, in that tone that suggested she’d go punch him in the throat for not loving me.
I couldn’t hold back any longer and let out a cry.
“Oh honey, what happened?” Sinclair moved to sit next to me on the couch and put an arm around me.
“He told me he cared for me and I pushed him away. And then the whole thing at Meredith’s happened and I told him to leave. It’s for the best, but it sure does hurt.”
“For the best? Why?” Trina asked, pouring me more wine.
“He’s really young, Trina. Younger than you.”
“That’s still an issue for you?” Sinclair asked.
“How could it work in the long run?” I asked.
“Mo married a woman half his age,” Trina said.
“Men can do that. When I’m fifty and wrinkled and he’s my only thirty-seven, the difference will be noticeable.”
“How old are you?” Trina asked.
“Trina!” Sinclair chastised.
“What? She can’t be that much older. You don’t look that much older.”
“She was our camp counselor, you dummy. Remember?”
“Oh yeah. I was eight. And you were what? Sixteen?”
“Eighteen,” I said.
“So you’re thirty-seven. That’s not too old. And you still look younger,” Trina said. She was a woman without a filter. From her, it felt good to hear that I wasn’t too old. But Trina was sort of a black sheep of town. Her attitudes and beliefs often differed from other people’s.
I managed a smile. “Thank you.”
“Put aside the age, for a minute,” Sinclair said. “If he was your age, would you want to be with him?”
“Yes. Absolutely. He’s perfect for me.” That’s what made this whole situation tragic. I wondered what I’d done in a previous life to deserve this situation in which the man of my dreams was one I couldn’t have.
Sinclair arched a brow. “So, the only thing wrong with him is that he’s younger than you?”
“I know that sounds bad, but I just can’t get past the idea that he’ll get bored eventually. He should be living his life. Experimenting. Dating.”
“Shouldn’t he be the one who decides all that?” Trina asked.
“Yes, except what if it’s delayed? What if I’m with him and then he decides he wants to party and play?”
“What if he’s struck by lightning,” Trina quipped.
“What Trina is so very indelicately saying is that you can’t know the future. It’s just as likely that he’ll be true forever. Or that you’ll get bored with him,” Sinclair said gently.
“I felt something similar with Ryder,” Trina admitted. “It’s no secret that I’m difficult to get along with—”
“No truer words were ever said,” Sinclair laughed.
“So, I thought at some point Ryder would get sick of me. Or some other woman would come along.”
“She also thought he was a slacker,” Sinclair added.
Trina surprised me by nodding. “Okay, yes. But that went to my need for order. His spontaneous ways are hard for me. And yet, it was exactly what I needed.”
“And Ryder needed a little push to get his life in order. They complement each other. Just like Wyatt and I do. And you and Tucker do too.”
I made a face. “Just because you have your happily ever after, doesn’t mean we all get one or that Tucker is mine.”
“I don’t know about that,” Sinclair said. “When I saw you two here a few weeks ago, you two looked quite compatible.” She waggled her brows.
“Sex isn’t love.”
“It can be,” Trina said. “And you look like a woman that knows it.”
She was right. As fun and erotic as Tucker had been, there’d been something more to it that made it more fulfilling.
“Listen, take it from someone who knows. You have to get out of your own damn way and let love in. Who cares that he’s younger? What other people think is their own damn business. And honestly, people probably think about you a
lot less than you think. So fuck it. If you love him and he loves you, that doesn’t come around all the time. You’d be an idiot to let it pass you by.” Trina finished her speech by downing the rest of her juice.
“You were doing so well, for a minute,” Sinclair said.
“What? I didn’t say anything mean.” Trina looked at her in confusion.
“You called her an idiot.”
“No, I didn’t. I said if she let love pass her by then she’d be an idiot. I think you told me that once.”
Sinclair ginned. “Oh, then it’s genius.”
I managed a small laugh. “I appreciate your trying to cheer me up. Even if I wanted to make up with him, I’m sure he’s done with me. Once bitten twice shy and all that.”
“You never know until you try.” Sinclair gave me a squeeze and then stood. “We’ll leave you to ponder your love life. Can I count on you with these signs and fliers?”
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry I haven’t been helpful lately.”
“You’ve been preoccupied. But you can’t hide forever.” Sinclair walked to the door with Trina behind her.
“Don’t be an idiot,” Trina said as they left.
31
Tucker
It turned out that a person could live with a hole in their chest. I settled back into my old routine of living and working. I continued to help Sinclair but apparently Holly had dropped out. A part of me felt bad for her because I suspected she was embarrassed by what happened at Meredith’s and was hiding out. I would have helped with that, but she didn’t want me around. I’m sure she thought I was the cause of her troubles, and admittedly, she was right. Which was why I’d gone to see Meredith. But when I didn’t hear any gossip about Meredith getting involved in the library project again, I realized my appeal to her didn’t work.
Was it because Meredith wasn’t swayed or were other forces at work? Stark had gone out of his way to bring Holly’s ex back, was he still manipulating things behind the scenes. With nothing better to do and still wanting to make things right for the project and Holly, I drove out to Stark’s place.
Similar to Meredith’s home, Stark’s place was huge on a vast piece of property near the river. I’d heard it had been built by a man who started a brewery, but had since moved it somewhere else, leaving the estate to be snapped up by Simon Stark.
Considering Stark’s ego and the level of dislike of him, I was surprised at how easy it was to get onto the property and to the front door. I imagined him having a fortress like some mafia type with goons everywhere. He did have goons, but they weren’t everywhere. One answered the door and took me to Stark’s office.
Stark looked up at me in surprise but smiled like he’d won a victory. He stood. “Mr. Marshall, have you reconsidered my offer?”
“No. That will never happen,” I said. “I’m here to tell you to stop fucking with the library project.”
He sighed with slight annoyance, like I was a gnat needed to be brushed away. He walked over to a little bar and poured a drink. “You would like one?”
I shook my head.
He sipped his drink then sat in one of the leather chairs near the large window. “My goal isn’t to stop the library project.”
I frowned. “Then why bring Holly’s ex back? Why go through all the trouble to humiliate and discredit her?”
Simon gave his head a shake and had an expression that suggested he thought I was an idiot. “I didn’t humiliate and discredit her. That was you, my boy.”
I ground my teeth at his calling me boy. “Then why did you bring Rick back?”
He shrugged. “I needed to…distract Ms. St. James. She’s got too much sway over the teachers and many parents.”
I frowned. “What?”
“She makes it difficult for Wallace to be heard. He’s got good ideas but many in the PTA won’t take the time to listen because she’s always touting about Mrs. Jones. Now, I could have reported her to the IRS because she skirts the law that says PTA’s can’t endorse candidates. But that would have been an asshole thing to do, and despite what people think, I’m not an asshole.”
I gaped. “Paying her ex to come back and pretend to love her isn’t an asshole thing to do?” What world did this guy come from?
“It’s not good, I admit. But this only hurt her, and perhaps you. Reporting her to the IRS would have hurt the PTA, other teachers and parents. I’m not that big of a dick.”
Yeah you are, I thought.
“And I was doing her a favor.”
“Favor?” I arched a brow, wondering if maybe I’d entered the Twilight Zone. Was up down now? How was what he did a favor?
“Love…it’s a myth. It’s something used to sell greeting cards and flowers.”
“How would you know about love?” I scoffed.
He looked down into his drink. “I’m not as immune to emotion as you think. At least I once wasn’t.” He looked up at me again. “The only things that last that won’t kick you in the teeth, are money and power. True love, it’s a farce. It doesn’t exist.”
“I know plenty of people in this town that would disagree.”
He laughed. “Sure. Today. Maybe even tomorrow and in five years, but eventually, the shimmer of love fades. Love is fleeting. It wavers and it dies in deceit and lies.”
“Who broke your heart to make you so callous?”
His jaw clenched. “Tell me, I’m wrong. Did your parents once love each other, and then your dad left. He cheated on your mother, did he not? And then he abandoned the family.”
I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d investigated me.
“And rumor has it, you’re no longer married to Ms. St. James.” He put an emphasis on the word married to suggest it had been fake. “You tried to help her get her library, and how does she repay you?”
“So, is that your purpose in life? Destroy love?”
“Nah.” He waved his hand. “People do that all on their own. My goal is power and money.”
“Why Salvation? Why this town? These people?”
“That is none of your business.”
I let out a laugh. “Funny coming from the man who investigates and manipulates other people’s lives.”
He shrugged.
“You know, your attitude suggests that you’ve been lied to and betrayed. So, you’re lashing out and hurting people who’ve never hurt you. I’ve seen it first hand in my student, but you’re a grown man. You should know better.”
His expression darkened. “You don’t know me. And plenty of people here have hurt me.”
Interesting. “Not the children of Salvation? Your actions hurt them.”
“They’ll get their library. I’ll see to it.”
That should have been good news, but it sat like a lump of old oatmeal at the bottom of my stomach.
I studied him for a moment. “Are you happy?”
His eyes widened for a moment in surprise, but then he put that smarmy smirk on his face. “Look around you, Mr. Marshall. Do I look unhappy?”
“Yes, you do.”
He seemed intrigued by my comment.
“I think you know that money and power are empty when you’re alone, and you are alone, aren’t you Stark? I look around this giant fancy, empty house and I see a lonely man with only his bitterness to keep him company. For all you say about love, I think you desperately want it. You want this town to respect you. But no amount of money or bullying will get you the love and respect you’re seeking.” I waited for a beat. “I actually pity you.”
He rose from his chair, turning his back to go to his bar and pour another drink. “Did you learn that pop psych babble from your mother?”
“You don’t need a degree in psychology to see you’re a man who wants to punish the world because he’s hurt and bitter. But speaking of psychology, you might consider therapy over destroying the lives of good people in Salvation. You could do a lot of good here Stark—”
“I am doing good,” he burst out w
hirling on me. “I’m trying to bring jobs. I’m doing a lot. They’re the ones being ungrateful.”
“You can’t impose your will on people. They don’t want a prison. They want a library. It could be so easy if you just stopped being an asshole and worked with people.”
“I’m done here.”
It was interesting to see the always polished and controlled Stark rattled.
“Okay. Well, I appreciate your time. I can show myself out.” I turned to leave. When I reached the door, I stopped and turned. “Oh, and before I forget. My threat still stands. You fuck with Holly, I’ll fuck with you. Because even though she did kick me in the balls, I still care for her and will protect her.” And with that, I walked out of his office and left his house.
As I drove back into town, I found myself intrigued by Stark. In town, he was viewed as a villain. Like a Dick Dastardly who was terrorizing their peace. When he was at the PTA, he was a caricature of the powerful, evil man manipulating the town, making them feel powerless.
But today, I saw cracks in his all-powerful façade. I wasn’t sure if he was here to hurt Salvation specifically, or if the relationship soured and now he was punishing them for rejecting him.
I was also curious to where his stance on love and what had made him so bitter toward it. Did a woman hurt him or did it go back farther? A parent’s rejection. He’d made a point of talking about my father. I hadn’t felt rejected as much as abandoned when he left my mother. But she was a strong woman who got me involved in sports and other programs where I had other male role models, and so, mostly I pitied my father for missing out on being a father.
With that said, I understood what a deep emotional wound could do to a man. If Holly showed up wanting to reconcile, I’d think twice before doing it. I was trying not to be bitter. I didn’t speak badly of her. I always gave her a polite nod if I saw her at school. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to let myself love her again only to have her squash my heart like a bug. Once was enough, thank you very much.
But I didn’t take out my hurt on Holly or others. And that’s where Stark and I differed. I wondered why? Perhaps it was a learned response. Maybe more than one person had let him down or betrayed him and now he saw the world as an untrustworthy uncaring place.
Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 79