One Night at the Call Center

by Chetan Bhagat

  “Well, anyway, so over three days we visited each other's stalls three dozen times, and by the end of it we felt…” Priyanka said and paused.

  “What?” Radhika said.

  “We felt that both the stalls belonged to us, and that as long as we were together we didn't need anyone else to visit,” Priyanka said and her voice choked up.

  My throat already had a lump the size of an orange in it, and I just nodded, trying to keep a straight face.

  We kept silent. I was hoping Priyanka would cry big time now.

  “Well, things change. Life goes on and we move on to better things. It is like changing from PlayStation to X-box,” Vroom said.

  I hate Vroom. Just when Priyanka was all mellow, Vroom's wise words brought her back to reality. She composed herself and changed the topic.

  “How far away are we?” Priyanka said.

  I looked at my watch.

  “Damn, Vroom, it is past 4:00 a.m. How much further?”

  “Around five kilometers from the call center. I'm driving more slowly now. Do you want me to drive faster?”

  “No,” we cried.

  “We're going to be late. Bakshi will flip,” I said.

  “I can take a shortcut,” Vroom said.

  “Shortcut?” I said.

  “Next left there's an untarred road. It was made for construction projects. It cuts through some fields and saves us about two kilometers.”

  “Is the road lit up?” Esha said.

  “No, but we have headlights. I've used it before. Let's take it,” Vroom said.

  After a kilometer, he took a sharp left.

  “Ouch,” Esha said, “you didn't tell us this road would be so bumpy.”

  “Just a few minutes,” Vroom said, “actually the ground is wet today from yesterday's rain.”

  We plunged on into the darkness, the headlights trying hard to show us the way. We passed fields and construction sites filled with cement, bricks, and iron rods. In a few places there were deep holes as builders constructed the foundation for super-high-rise apartments. I think the whole of Delhi had decided to move to Gurgaon, and people were growing homes along with the crops.

  “There, just one final cut-through and we'll be back on the highway,” Vroom said, taking a sharp right.

  Suddenly the Qualis skidded and slid down an inclined path.

  “Careful,” everyone shouted, holding onto anything they could find. The Qualis went off the road into a slushy downhill patch. Vroom desperately tried to control the steering, but the wheels wouldn't grip the ground. Like a drunk tramp, the Qualis rolled down into the site of a high-rise construction project.

  Chapter 29

  4:05 a.m.

  THE SLOPE HAD FLATTENED OUT, but the Qualis was still rolling forward, only slowing down when it hit a mesh of iron construction rods. Vroom braked hard, and the Qualis halted on the rods with a metallic clang, bounced twice, and came to a stop.

  “Damn!” Vroom said.

  Everyone sat in stunned silence.

  “Don't worry, guys,” Vroom said and started the ignition. The Qualis shook violently.

  “Turn … off… the … ignition … Vroom …” I said. I peered under the Qualis. There was a floor of iron below us that was shaking.

  Vroom's hands shook too as he turned off the engine. I think any remaining alcohol in his body had evaporated in fear.

  “Where are we?” Esha said and opened the window. She looked out and screamed, “Oh no!”

  “What?” I said and looked out again. This time I looked around more carefully. What I saw was terrifying: We had landed in the foundation hole of a building, with a frame of exposed metal rods covering it. The foundation consisted of a pit that was maybe fifty-feet deep, with a frame of reinforced cement concrete rods across the opening. The rods were parallel to the Qualis and jutting out at the other end, and they were all that supported us. Every time we moved, the Qualis bounced, as the rods acted as springs. I could see fear in everyone's face, including Military Uncle's.

  “We're hanging above a hole, supported only by toothpicks. We're screwed,” Radhika said, summing up the situation for all of us.

  “What are we going to do?” Esha said. The contagious panic in her voice made everyone nervous.

  “Whatever you do, don't move,” Vroom said.

  A few minutes passed where the only sound was the heavy breathing of six people.

  “Should we call for help? The police? Fire brigade? Call center?” Esha said as she took her mobile phone out of her bag.

  Vroom nodded, his face naked with fear.

  “Damn, no reception,” Esha said. “Does anyone else have a mobile that works?”

  Priyanka and Radhika's cellphones didn't work either, Military Uncle didn't have a mobile, so Vroom took out his phone.

  “No network,” he said.

  I took out my phone from my pocket and gave it to Esha.

  “Your phone isn't working either, Shyam,” Esha said and placed it on the dashboard.

  “So we can't reach anyone in the world?” Radhika said.

  A rod snapped under us and the Qualis tilted a few degrees to the right. Radhika fell toward me; Vroom held the steering wheel tight to keep his balance. He froze in the driver's seat, unable to think of what else to do. Another rod snapped, and then another, like feeble twigs beneath us. The Qualis tilted around thirty degrees and came to a halt.

  All of us were too scared to scream.

  “Does anyone have any ideas?” Vroom said.

  I closed my eyes for a second and visualized my death. My life could end, just like this, in oblivion. I wondered when and how people would find us. Maybe laborers the next day, or even after a couple of days.

  SIX IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNKEN AGENTS FOUND DEAD would

  be the headline.

  “Try to open the door, Vroom,” Military Uncle said.

  Vroom opened his door, but the Qualis wobbled so he shut it immediately.

  “Can't,” Vroom said. “Messes up the balance. And what's the point? We can't step out, we'd fall right through.”

  I turned around to look out of the rear window and noticed some bushes a few feet behind us.

  “Move toward the left. No weight on the right. We have to stay balanced until someone spots us in the morning,” Vroom said.

  I checked my watch. It was only 4:14 a.m. The morning was three hours away. A lifetime. And people might turn up even later than that.

  “Otherwise?” Esha said.

  “Otherwise we die,” Vroom said.

  We stayed quiet for a minute.

  “Everyone dies one day,” I said, just to break the silence.

  “Maybe it's simpler this way. Just end life rather than deal with it,” Vroom said.

  I nodded. I was nervous and I was glad Vroom was making small talk.

  “My main question is, what if no one finds us even after we die. What happens then?” Vroom said.

  “The vultures will find us. They always do. I saw it on the Discovery Channel,” I said.

  “See, that makes me uncomfortable. I don't like the idea of sharp beaks tearing my muscles, cracking my bones and ripping me to shreds. Plus, my body will smell like hell. I'd rather be burned in a dignified manner and go up in that one last puff of smoke.”

  “Can you guys stop this nonsense. At least be quiet,” Esha said and folded her arms.

  Vroom smiled at her. Then he turned to me. “I don't think Esha will smell too much. Her Calvin Klein perfume will keep her carcass fresh for days.”

  Beneath us there were two sharp “pings” as another two rods snapped.

  “Oh no,” Priyanka said as we heard another ping just below her. A flicker of light appeared on the dashboard. My cellphone was vibrating. We sprang to attention.

  “That's my phone,” I said.

  It started ringing. Everyone's mouths hung open.

  “How did it ring without a network?” Esha said, her voice nervous.

  “Who is it?” Rad
hika said.

  “Pick it up,” I said with my hand stretched out, unable to reach the dashboard and unwilling to move too much.

  Esha lifted the phone. She looked at the screen and gasped.

  “Who is it?” I said.

  “Do you know someone called … God? It says… God calling,” Esha said.

  Chapter 30

  4:30 a.m.

  ESHA'S FINGERS TREMBLED as she pressed the button to take the call on speaker mode.

  “Hi, everyone. Sorry to call so late,” a cheerful voice came from the phone.

  “Er, who is it?” Esha said.

  “It's God,” the voice said.

  “God? God as in …,” Radhika said as all of us looked at the brightly lit phone in fright.

  “As in God. I noticed an unusual situation here, so I thought I'd just check on you guys.”

  “Who is this? Is this a joke?” Vroom asked in a more confident voice.

  “Why? Am I being funny?” the voice said.

  I narrowed my eyes. Apart from the fact that I thought it unusual for God to use a cellphone, I had never considered my life important enough for God to call me.

  “God doesn't normally call. Prove that you're God. Otherwise, you should get some help,” Vroom said.

  “How do I prove I'm God? Do I make this cellphone float? Or do I create rain and lightning on demand? Or would you prefer a magic trick? A few special effects, maybe?” God said.

  “Well, I don't know, but yeah, something like that,” Vroom said.

  “So to impress you I have to break the very same laws of physics I created? I'm sorry, I'm not into that these days. And I have plenty of believers. I thought I could help, but I can hang up. See you then …” God said.

  “No, no wait. Please help us… G … God,” Esha said and turned slightly so she could hold the cellphone between all of us.

  Radhika put a finger on her lips to signal Vroom to be quiet.

  “OK, I'll stay,” God said in a cheerful voice. “Tell me, how's it going?”

  “Help us get out. If a few more rods break, we'll all die,” I said.

  “Not that, tell me how it's going otherwise? How's life?” God said.

  I'm very bad at tough, open-ended questions like that. I hate to admit the extent to which my life is screwed up.

  “Well, right now we're trapped—” I said, and God interrupted me.

  “Don't worry, the Qualis isn't going anywhere. lust relax.”

  I let out a deep sigh. Everyone was silent.

  “So back to the question, how's life going? Do you want to start, Radhika?” God said.

  “If you are God, you must already know everything. Life is miserable,” Radhika said.

  “Actually, I do know,” God said. “I just want to find out how you feel about it.”

  “I'll tell you how we feel. Life sue—sorry,” Vroom said, and checked himself, “It's horrible. Like what have we done wrong? Why is our life in the pits, literally and figuratively? That pretty much sums it up for all of us, I think.”

  We all made noises of agreement and God sighed.

  “Let me ask you a question. How many phone calls do you take each day?” God said.

  “A hundred, on busy days two hundred,” Vroom said.

  “OK. Now do you know which is the most important call in the world?”

  “No,” Vroom said and we all shook our heads.

  “The inner call,” God said.

  “The inner call?” everyone said in unison.

  “Yes, the little voice inside that wants to talk to you, but you can only hear it when you are at peace, and even then it's hard to hear it. Because in modern life, the networks are too busy. The voice tells you what you really want. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Sort of,” Priyanka said, her eyes darting away from the phone.

  “That voice is mine,” God said.

  “Really?” Esha said, her mouth wide open.

  “Yes. And the voice is easy to ignore, because you are distracted or busy or just too comfortable in your life. Go on, ignore it—until you get tangled in your own web of comfort. And then when you reach a point like today, where life brings you to a dead end, there is nothing ahead but a dark hole.”

  “You're making sense,” I conceded, more to myself.

  “I know that voice. But it isn't subtle in me. Sometimes it shouts and bites me,” Vroom said.

  “And what does the voice say, Vroom?” God said.

  “That I should not have taken a job just for money. Call centers pay more, but only because the exchange rate is in the Americans' favor. They toss their loose change at us. It seems like a lot in rupees, but there are better jobs that pay less. Jobs that give me identity, make me learn or help my country. I justified it to myself by saying money is progress, but it's not true. Progress is building something that lasts,” Vroom said, sounding as if there was a lump in his throat. He pressed his face into his hands.

  Esha put her hand on Vroom's shoulder.

  “Come on, guys. This is getting far too sentimental. You can do a lot better than this. You are all capable people,” God said.

  It was the first time someone had used the word “capable” to describe me.

  “We can?” I said.

  “Of course. Listen, let me make a deal with you. I will save your lives tonight, but in return you must give me something. Close your eyes for three minutes. Think about what you really want and what you need to change in your life to achieve it. Then once you get out of here, act on those changes. Do as I say, and I will help you get out of this pit. Is that a deal?”

  “Deal,” I said. Like you won't do a deal that saves you from death. Everyone nodded.

  We closed our eyes and took a few deep breaths.

  Man, I tell you, closing your eyes for three minutes and not thinking about the world is the hardest thing to do. I tried to concentrate, but all I could see was commotion. Priyanka, Bakshi, my promotion, and Ganesh—my mind kept jumping from one topic to another.

  “So, tell me,” God said after three minutes.

  We opened our eyes. Everyone's face seemed a lot calmer.

  “Ready?” God said.

  Everyone nodded his or her head.

  “Let's go around the Qualis one by one. Vroom, you first,” God said.

  “I want to have a life with meaning, even if it means a life without Bed or daily trips to Pizza Hut. I need to leave the call center for good. Calling is not my calling,” Vroom said.

  I thought his last line was pretty clever, but it didn't seem like the right time to appreciate verbal tricks.

  Priyanka spoke after Vroom. My ears were on alert.

  “I want my mother to be happy. But I cannot kill myself for it. My mother needs to realize a family is a great support to have, but ultimately, she is responsible for her own happiness. My focus should be on my own life and what I want,” Priyanka said. I wished she had said my name somewhere in her answer, but no such luck. I think 90 percent of Priyanka's brain is either occupied or controlled by her mother.

  Military Uncle's turn came after Priyanka, and he spoke for longer than I had ever heard him speak.

  “I want to be with my son and my grandson. I miss them all the time. Two years ago I was living with them, but my daughter-in-law did things I didn't like—she went to late-night parties and got a job when I wanted her to stay at home … I argued with them before moving out. But I was wrong. It's their life and I have no right to judge them with my outdated values. I need to get rid of my inflated ego and visit them in the U.S. to talk it over.”

  Radhika's turn came next. She was fighting back tears as she spoke. “I want to be myself again, just as I was before I got married, when I lived with my parents. I want to divorce Anuj. I don't ever want to look at my mother-in-law's face again. To do this, I have to accept that I made a wrong decision when I married Anuj.”

  Esha spoke after Radhika. “I want my parents to love me again. I don't want to become a stupid mod
el. I'm sure I can find a better use for my looks, if they are worth anything at all. Any career that makes you compromise your morals is not worth it.”

  People now turned to look at me as I was the only one left to speak.

  “Can I pass?” I said.

  I was given an even harder stare. Sometimes you have no choice but to share your weirdest innermost thoughts with the world.

  “OK. This will sound stupid, but I want to take a shot at my own business. I had this idea: If Vroom and I collaborate, we could set up a small web design company. That's all. It may never work, because most of the things I do never work, but then …”

  “What else, Shyam?” God said, interrupting me.

  “Uh, nothing,” I said.

  “Shyam, you are not finished, you know that,” God said.

  I guess you can't outsmart God and I was being forced to come to the point. I looked around and spoke again.

  “And I want to be worthy of someone like Priyanka one day. Today I don't deserve her, and I accept that—”

  “Shyam, I never said—” Priyanka said.

  “Please, let me finish, Priyanka. It's about time people stop trampling all over me,” I said.

  Priyanka looked at me and went silent. I could see she was in mild shock at my firmness.

  I continued. “But one day I'd like to be worthy of someone like her, someone intelligent, witty, sensitive, and fun, someone who can seamlessly merge friendship with love. And yes, one day I want to be successful, too.”

  God stayed silent.

  “God? Say something now that we've poured out our deepest secrets to you,” Esha said.

  “I don't really have to say anything. I'm just amazed, and delighted, at how well you have done. Knowing what you want is already a great start. Are you prepared to follow it through?”

  Everyone nodded except me.

  “Are you ready, Shyam?” God said.

  I gave a small nod.

  “Shyam, may I say something personal in front of your friends,” God said, “because it's important for everyone else, too.”

  “Sure,” I said. Yeah, use me as Exhibit I for “how not to live your life.” At least I am of some use.

  “You want to be successful, don't you?” God said.

  “Yes,” I said.