The Queen of Zombie Hearts

by Gena Showalter

  He stood his ground. "Actually, you've got to go. Ali and I are going to talk."

  "Cole," she said, batting her lashes at him. "I'm seconds away from bringing your penis into this conversation. Are you sure you want to stick around for that?"

  He sighed. "You're about to threaten it, aren't you?"

  A new round of laughter from the girls.

  "Threaten?" Kat shook her head. "No, darling Cole. Remove? Yes."

  Reeve walked over and gave him a little push into the hall. "You can talk to your Ali-gator tomorrow, King Cole. Tonight it's besties before testes, and if you don't hit the bricks, I will literally rip off those testes and feed them to you."

  "I'm sure Bronx would love to hear you've contemplated putting your hands on my junk," he said, digging in his heels. "I'm staying and keeping my private property. Ali likes me intact."

  I shrugged. Honestly, what could I really say? Truer words had never been spoken.

  "Recognize a losing battle, Cole," Kat said. "It's been a rough couple of days, and we need a break. Let us have this one night. We'll be generous and let you have our girl tomorrow. Maybe." And then she shut the door in his face.

  I expected him to burst back in, but he didn't. I almost laughed as I crawled to the middle of the bed. I'd gotten my reprieve after all.

  "I figured you guys would be with Frosty and Bronx," I said.

  I spotted a large envelope on my nightstand. The pictures! I hurriedly stuffed the envelope in the top drawer, not wanting to look at the supposed evidence with anyone else around. I wasn't sure how I'd react.

  "Frosty is already addicted to me." Kat flipped her hair over her shoulder. "If I spend any more time with him, he'll become a babbling idiot. And really, I like to keep him craving more. Besides, I wasn't lying to Cole. I need a one-night stand with you to just...I don't know, breathe. To be normal kids."

  Yeah. That sounded all kinds of awesome.

  Reeve threw herself beside me, the mattress bouncing us both. "I wish I could say the same about Bronx. He's in a mood. A horrible, terrible mood, and I don't know what to do about him. He's distant. He's snippy. Do you think he wants to break up with me?"

  "Of course not." Bronx wasn't the love-'em-and-leave-'em type. He was the she's-mine-and-that's-that type. "But you have to remember, he just lost four of his friends. In one night." And then he'd watched me explode them only a few hours ago. Oh, glory. The memory would forever haunt me. "Another one is still missing. Bronx is grieving."

  "I'm sure he's also worried about keeping you safe," Kat said, claiming a spot at the edge of the bed and crisscrossing her legs. "I know Frosty gets a little crazy when we're under attack. And let's face it. The danger level has never been higher."

  "I know, but still!" Reeve beat her fists into the pillows. "I just wish Bronx would talk to me about this stuff, you know? We're a couple. We're supposed to help each other. And I want to help him, I do, but he won't even give me the opportunity."

  Guilt sparked, burning me. I'd done the same thing to Cole. Well, no more. Tomorrow, I'd tell him everything. Whatever happened, happened. I'd be a big girl and deal.

  "Hunt down Bronx and explain how you feel," I said. "This isn't working for you. Something is broken and you need to fix it. Right away. If you wait, something else will need fixing soon enough, and then something else, until there's too much to do and both parties walk away depressed, defeated."

  "Yeah. Okay," she said, but she still sounded miserable.

  She'd do what I suggested or not. I couldn't force her.

  "Let's shelve the discussion about our boys." Kat lifted her phone to snap a photo of Reeve. "It's selfie time!"

  I made a face at her, and she snapped one of me.

  "That's it," she praised, click-click-clicking away. "Make love to the camera."

  She turned the phone on herself and grinned so wide she unveiled a mouthful of pearly whites. Click, click. "Dude! I think me and the camera just made a baby."

  I snorted, reminded all over again why I loved her so danged much.

  "Enough," Reeve said with a laugh, taking the phone away from her.

  "Fine," Kat said. "So get this, guys. I got a call from Wren a few hours ago."

  "What! That should have been the headline." Wren had been Kat's friend for years, only to ditch her--and by association, ditch me--so that we wouldn't draw her into our crazy and ruin her future. Not that she'd had any idea what our particular crazy happened to be. Then she'd started dating Justin, not realizing he was just as deeply ensconced as we were. "What'd she say?"

  "Hear for yourself. She left a message." Kat reclaimed her phone, pressed a few buttons.

  "Kat, it's Wren." The device practically vibrated with the volume. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, and that's fine. But Justin is missing. Jaclyn, too. Their parents are, like, totally freaking. The cops came and asked me all kinds of questions, but I didn't say anything about it, I swear. I'm just worried something's happened. Have you seen them? Heard from them? Call me back. Please."

  Kat sighed. "I haven't called her back. I don't know what to say."

  I thought for a moment. "Let me discuss it with Cole before you do. Because honestly? We don't know if she's for real, or if the police have convinced her to try and trap us into saying something we shouldn't, or even if Anima has her phone tapped."

  Kat wedged between Reeve and me. "That's such a good point it's almost as if I thought of it myself. And not to switch topics, but...I'm going to switch topics. To me! I've decided to stop waiting to die, stop letting worry ruin the days I do have and start planning an actual future."

  I rested my head on her shoulder. "As long as you keep doing your dialysis, I'm happy for you."

  "Dude. No worries on that score."

  "Then tell me everything. Even the smallest details."

  "Well," she said, getting more comfortable, "here's what I've got so far. I'm going to college and getting a Ph.D. in being awesome. That's a thing, right? Everyone will call me Dr. Kitten and pay me megabucks to diagnose all their problems. Because, of course, I will have all the answers."

  The trials of the day caught up to me. My eyelids grew heavy. I struggled to keep them open, her voice the sweetest lullaby.

  "I'm going to live with Frosty, and he's going to cater to my every whim. When I've decided he's earned the right to be Mr. Kat Parker, I will marry him. You two will be maids of honor, of course. I'm going to force you to wear the most hideous gowns ever created. Can't have anyone thinking you're prettier than the bride."

  It was, in a word, perfect.

  I wondered about my own future plans. Or tried to. I couldn't see past this war with Anima. I was...

  Mmm, so warm...

  As Kat talked about her honeymoon, I drifted away....

  It was the saddest day of my life.

  The whispering voice penetrated my awareness. It didn't belong to me. Didn't belong to Kat or Reeve, either....

  The next thing I knew, I was outside. Helen and Sami stood hand in hand on a dirt road, a dark sedan parked behind them. Looked to be empty. Another sedan pulled up and stopped alongside it. Hinges on the door squeaked as--shock hit me--my dad emerged.

  He was so young. There were no lines around his eyes. His skin wasn't sallow from years of hard drinking, and his eyes weren't bloodshot. He was handsome, radiating health--and anger.

  He stomped to Helen, his gaze continuously flicking to the little girl. "How could you keep her from me?"

  Helen raised her chin. "Would you have done anything differently if you'd known? No. You would have married Miranda, and we both know it."

  He flinched, and the little girl darted behind Helen's leg.

  My dad softened. He crouched in an effort to meet the girl eye to eye. "Hello," he said. "I'm Ph--your dad."

  Sami stayed right where she was.

  "She's not to know who I am," Helen said. "You're never to speak of me. As far as the world is concerned, Miranda gave birth to her, and th
ere will be paperwork to prove it. Do you understand?"

  "No. I don't understand. I don't understand any of this. She needs us both. She--"

  "If you can't agree to my terms, you can't have her." Helen grabbed Sami's hand to tug her away.

  "I'll do it," he promised, and Helen stilled. "What do I tell her when she asks about you?"

  "She won't. She won't remember me."

  He frowned, but didn't question her further.

  "She's in danger. People want her. Bad people. If they get her, they will hurt her." Tears splashed down Helen's cheeks. "Only one person knows you're her father, and I'm going to-- Well, it doesn't matter. She won't matter. You'll have to change Sami's name. Something significant to your family. Give her a new past, and then live as if every word of that past is true. You speak as if it's true."

  My dad straightened, nodded. "I'll do everything you've asked. So will Miranda. I won't let anything happen to her."

  Helen stood there for several seconds, a war obviously waging in her mind. Finally she said, "Go back to your car. I'll bring her to you in a minute."

  She waited until he'd done as commanded before turning and kneeling in front of Sami, taking her by the shoulders. "I love you. So much. That's never going to change."

  "Don't go," Sami whispered, agonized. "Please."

  "It has to be this way. You'll never know how sorry I am." Helen's chin lifted again. She moved her hands to the little girl's temples. It didn't look as if she was doing anything. Just holding her daughter. But in seconds, the terror and desperation faded from Sami's eyes. Her features smoothed out.

  "Do you know who you are?" Helen asked, arms falling to her sides. "Do you know who I am?"

  Sami thought for a moment, paled. "I... No." The terror and desperation returned in a blink. She spun, searching for something, anything familiar. "Where am I? Who are you?"

  Tears once again streaming, Helen took her hand. "Come on. Your father is waiting for you. And so is...your mother."

  *

  The next day, I tried to compartmentalize the dream--memory--with zero success. Maybe because I couldn't get past a single thought: I was Sami. Me. There was no denying the truth in the bright light of the morning.

  Helen the Slayer Killer was my mother. And I liked her.

  Was that wrong? Was it a betrayal of Cole?

  Leaving Kat and Reeve sleeping in bed, I showered, dressed and went in search of him, ready to have our chat. He wasn't in his room. The next most likely place was the dungeon, but he wasn't there, either. River was finally having his fun with Benjamin, with, surprisingly enough, help from Frosty. The two had the assassin strapped to a chair and were taking turns introducing his face to their fists.

  "Guys," I said. "This isn't the way."

  River looked over at me, frowned.

  "When you think of another way, then we'll talk." Frosty closed the distance and shut the door in my face.

  I could have protested. But he was right--I didn't know another way.

  I'd talk to Cole about it--I just had to find him first. I tried the gym. Bronx and Gavin were working out, but again, my boyfriend wasn't anywhere nearby. No one knew where he'd gone.

  Great!

  I turned my efforts to Nana. Standing in the foyer, I typed up a text.

  I know about Helen. I know who she is 2 me. U should have told me.

  I waited one minute...two...

  Finally my phone rang. She was calling. But of course, the doorbell had to buzz a second later. From my vantage point, I had a direct view of the smoked-glass doors.

  The detectives were back.

  Mr. Ankh strode out of his office, his features pinched. "This is going to be fun."

  I let my phone roll to voice mail.

  Mr. Ankh did not invite the detectives inside, just stood in the entryway, a pillar of calm. "All further inquiries are to be directed to my lawyer."

  "We're not here with questions," Verra said in her no-nonsense way. "We're here for Jaclyn Silverstone. She's sixteen and therefore underage. Someone called her parents and told them she was here."

  Someone from Anima?

  Mr. Ankh stood still and quiet for several prolonged seconds. "I'll get her." He shut the door. His bleak gaze met mine. "We have to do it."

  "I know." I also knew I couldn't be the one to tell her. She'd fight me, and I might help her run. Already my heart was breaking for her.

  Mr. Ankh stomped up the stairs, reappearing five minutes later with a crying Jaclyn at his side. A scowling Gavin strode behind him.

  I wanted so badly to barricade the door. Maybe Gavin wanted it, too. He stopped at my side, his hands fisted.

  Was he actually angry about her eviction?

  We moved to the porch. Jaclyn cried even harder as the detectives helped her inside their sedan.

  The car's engine purred to life.

  She looked out the window, met my gaze.

  "Remember my promise," I said.

  A tormented nod. The car pulled away, soon vanishing beyond the gate.

  Can't react.

  "She and I had a vision, you know," Gavin said, as we sealed ourselves inside the house. "In it, we were in bed together."

  "What! You did? How? When?"

  He scrubbed a hand down his face. "Yes, we did. And I don't know how. I've only ever had a vision with you and Cole, and I thought it was because all of our parents were slayers, so we got a little something extra. Well, neither of her parents are slayers, and yet still, when I saw her this morning, time stopped and we were suddenly... Let's just say she was the recipient of my best moves."

  Weird did not even begin to scratch the surface of this development. "Are you attracted to her? Is that why you were so hard on her before?"

  Amusement twinkled down at me. "Why, yes, cupcake. That's why I was so hard on her."

  Dirty-minded gutter rat. "Are you sure this vision wasn't just a fantasy of yours? Even though you claimed not to have them about her."

  He tweaked the end of my nose. "I'm sure. Trust me. This slut-spert knows the difference."

  Well, wasn't that just wonderful. We had yet another mystery to solve. "I need to think about this."

  "You do that. Meanwhile, I'm going upstairs and giving myself a new tattoo. One that says 'Women suck, and not always in a good way.' The reminder might help calm me down."

  *

  "Alice."

  I had just trudged upstairs, determined to search every room for Cole--still hadn't found him--and discuss this latest mystery. At the top landing, a bright light glowed, Emma in the center of it.

  As always, my heart swelled with love for her, and I grinned, everything else momentarily forgotten. A quick look left and right proved no one else was in the hallway. "I'm so glad you're here."

  She shifted from one slipper-covered foot to the other. "Even though I'm usually the Bad News Bear?"

  "Even though."

  She cracked a grin of her own. "Well, today, I've got good news...and, okay, bad news, too."

  I didn't allow myself to groan. Didn't want to make her feel any worse. "Lay it on me, little sis. Bad news first."

  She nibbled on her bottom lip before admitting, "Justin is hurt. Like, horribly hurt. We've heard his moans of pain echo throughout eternity."

  Suspected. Poor Justin. "What's the good news?"

  "He's not dead yet."

  Yet. The time limit tainted the sweetness of the update. "Do you know where Anima's keeping him?"

  "No. There's some kind of block surrounding him."

  Of course there was.

  If I believed in luck, I'd say ours was the worst.

  "Come to my room," I said. "I want you with me while I look through pictures that are probably going to change the course of my life."

  Thankfully, Kat and Reeve had left, saving me from having to evict them. I sat at the edge of my bed and placed Juliana's envelope of pictures on my lap. Emma took a place at the windowsill.

  Her head tilted to the sid
e, and she frowned. "Nana's worried about you. You should call her back."

  "Can you sense our emotions?"

  "Not as strongly as I could at first, but yes."

  "Then you know I'm upset. She kept secrets from me."

  "So did Mom and Dad, but they aren't alive to blame, so you're focusing on her."

  I was, wasn't I? "When did you become so wise?"

  "The fact that you haven't realized I've always been this wise does not speak well of your intelligence."

  I threw a pillow, but it ghosted through her. I picked up the phone and dialed Nana's new number.

  When she answered, I got straight to the point. "I have two questions for you, and I need you to be totally and completely honest with me this time."

  "I will," she said with resolve.

  "Is Helen Conway my birth mother? Did Miranda have to adopt me?"

  Silence.

  "Ali," she finally said. I imagined her sitting somewhere, alone in the dark, her eyes closed as she fought tears.

  Stay strong. "That's not an answer."

  "Yes," Nana whispered. "Helen is. But Miranda couldn't adopt you, not legally. Your dad said you couldn't be brought to anyone's attention, so he somehow arranged a new identity for you. New name, new birthday, new biological mother."

  Well. There it was. Indisputable proof. Helen was my mother. My birth name was Samantha. I'd spent my first few years acting as Anima's favorite pincushion.

  Betrayal--check.

  Anguish--check.

  The people claiming to love me most had hurt me more than anyone else ever had, but they were dead. I couldn't yell at them. I couldn't demand answers. Though I already knew their reasons. I couldn't tell them how their actions had affected me.

  "But that doesn't mean I love you any less," Nana added.

  "No, it means you lied to me for most of my life. It means my parents lied to me."

  "Ali, dear, I'm sorry, I am, but it was your parents' decision to make. To even be allowed to see you, I had to promise never to breathe a word."

  "You've been my guardian for ten months," I said. "All this time, it's been your decision."

  "You, my honest one, know the value of a promise."

  Low blow.

  Also true.

  "But I am sorry," she repeated. "I chose not to let you know because you'd been through so much already. I didn't want you to have to go through anything else. And honestly, I don't think of it much. You're my granddaughter. Always have been, always will be."

  My chest felt like it had been doused in acid. "I'm going to go. I--"