by Kim Karr
This time his eyes flashed in the glow from the streetlights outside. “How about we take a break?”
I faltered at the question, unsure what he had in mind. That was quickly answered when he strode into the kitchen and came back with two beers. He slid down the unpainted wall under the stairs, and I did the same.
White paint had speckled his face and the top of his ball cap and my fingers itched to wipe it away, but I knew better. Touching him would only intensify the yearning I was feeling toward him.
“Why isn’t Jonah’s father a part of his life?” Jace asked, sliding his gaze toward me.
The question was casual enough, but the answer was complicated. The kids were talking about the pictures they were coloring in the other room and I knew they couldn’t hear me. “Let’s just say he’s not a good man.”
Everything about Jace still seduced me, and when he tipped his head back to sip from his bottle, I felt like I was transported back to the past. The familiarity of it was almost too much. I was so caught up in him that I almost didn’t hear him. “I know about what he did to you. Why didn’t you put him in jail?”
My eyes narrowed the tiniest amount, followed by the smallest tightening of my mouth. “How could you possibly know about that?”
He said nothing.
“Did you have someone investigate me?” I snapped.
His sigh turned harsh. Resigned. “You’re pissed off.”
I turned away from him. “No, I just wish you would have asked me, if you wanted to know about my past. I would have told you.”
“I’m asking you now.” From my peripheral view, I saw him take another pull from his bottle.
Setting mine aside, I shifted my gaze back toward him. “I already told you that Adam and I weren’t in love. We screwed one night after work, and when I found out I was pregnant, he wanted me to get an abortion. When I refused, he only married me because his parents threatened to cut him off. I married him because I wanted my baby to have a father. It was pretty warped on both our parts. You know, the idea that we could make things work?”
He frowned, edging closer. “Not really, Hannah. I can understand wanting your child to grow with both a father and a mother, especially when you didn’t.”
The beat of my heart felt unsteady. “That was overly optimistic considering I knew the kind of man I was marrying. And even if I hadn’t, as soon as we moved in together, I should have figured it out. He was drinking a lot and almost never around. I was really unhappy, we both were.”
Jace drew in a breath as he set his bottle down.
Tentatively I asked, “What kind of life would that have been for a child, anyway?”
He stared sadly over at the wall we’d just finished panting and mumbled, “I don’t know.”
It was taking all my strength to tell him the rest. “Well, it didn’t matter. We were never going to last. I should have just left.”
“Why didn’t you?” His voice was low.
I fought back tears. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?” he asked, prompting me to go on.
The breath I drew in was ragged and I quickly exhaled it. “One night he came home really drunk and wanted to have sex. When I refused, he got violent and forced me to the bed, telling me I wasn’t fulfilling my wifely duties. Somehow I managed to shove him off me, and he fell to the ground, hitting his head. After he got to his feet, he flew into a violent rage. All I can remember is running down the hallway and him catching me. Then pain exploded through my body as I tumbled down the stairs. I tried to protect my baby. I did, but when I landed, it felt like I couldn’t move. Even to Adam, I must have looked pretty bad because he yanked me by the hair to a chair and handed me the phone as he dialed 911. He left before anyone arrived.”
Jace let his head fall back and he closed his eyes. His voice lacked that hard edge when he spoke, but there was an edge of steel in his tone. “If I ever see him, I’m going to fucking kill him.”
I closed my own eyes and exhaled in a long, weary sigh. “To me he’s already dead.”
“But he’s not. Why didn’t you put him in jail?”
I opened my eyes and saw his looking at me. “I made a deal with the devil. In exchange for me not pressing charges,” I said. “Adam had to leave town, and agree to a divorce without contest. I didn’t want a dime of his money. I just wanted to be free of him. But most of all, I didn’t want him to play any part in Jonah’s life. He wasn’t a good man. You know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I glanced away. “So I made him sign away his parental rights to his son.”
“And that’s why you moved here, because he came back?”
I still didn’t look at Jace. “Yes. Adam came back this past summer. When he did, he tried to convince me he was different, that he had changed. But I didn’t believe him. Once I made it clear I wasn’t going to allow him to see Jonah, he threatened a lawsuit. I didn’t care what he threatened; he was not going near my child. It only took a couple of conversations for him to show his true colors. The last time I saw him, he got so angry that he struck me, and I ended up on the floor of my office. I’d only sprained my ankle, and my jaw was mildly bruised, but he scared me enough that I called the police and filed a restraining order. The next day I started looking for a new job. I knew I had to get far away from him or he might kill me.”
“Motherfucker,” Jace muttered, as he balled his hands into fists.
When I glanced up, I could see his eyes were shadowed with pity. At the sight of it, I shook off my hurt and gave him a fake smile. Pity wasn’t anything I ever needed or wanted. “And Jonah and I are much happier here than we were in Grand Haven. So it all worked out for the best.”
He reached for my hand. “Hannah, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
That part of my life was over, and now that I’d finally gotten out of Grand Haven, I didn’t want to look back. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Yes, there is something else we should talk about,” he said firmly.
Jace’s voice was absolute, and I knew what he wanted to talk about was us. I didn’t want to. I was already too wrung out. So I shook my head and started to get to my feet.
He didn’t let me escape. He took my hand, and the current that flowed between us was electric. I knew he felt it. I could tell. He didn’t let go though as he had the last time. Instead, he turned my hand over and traced the lines on my palm until I shivered.
Only then did I look at him. “What is it?”
“The night you came to my house.”
“And you fucked me,” I said bluntly.
His eyes closed. “Yes. That night I told you I hadn’t been with anyone in a long time.”
“I remember, and I told you the same.”
“What I meant by that was I hadn’t had sex with anyone since my wife died.”
It felt like a confession, and I was so tired by then I just blurted out, “And I hadn’t been with anyone since my husband.”
His entire body started to vibrate, and then without a word, he got to his feet and started toward the kitchen.
Feeling exhausted, I stood and wiped my sweaty hands on the legs of my overalls. I thought it was too much for Jace, and that he was going to get Scarlett and go home. I knew we shouldn’t have talked about this. But then he whipped around and strode back in my direction. His features where etched in sorrow, and he yanked me roughly to him. And then he crushed his mouth down over mine. I made a noise of surprise, and although I needed this kiss like I needed air, I pushed him away. “We shouldn’t,” I whispered.
Very gently, he pulled me back to him. “Yes, we should.”
I shook my head. “Friends, remember?”
He was shaking his head by then too, and I knew I was going to give in to him.
Little hands clapping had us both turning in shock. “Finally, this date can be over, I’m so tired!” Scarlett exclaimed.
Seriously, I had t
o laugh. She was just too cute. Having no idea what she meant, I looked at Jace in question.
“Long story, I’ll tell you later,” he mumbled.
As was the norm with Jace, later never did come, but Jonah filled me in on Scarlett’s definition of a date. She really was too much. Just like her father. And like her father, I really did love her.
I didn’t see Jace again until Monday morning at work, where we resumed our business relationship without falter.
The personal one though…it was back on shaky ground.
30
Present Day
Jace Bennett
I didn’t know which hurt more—getting sucker punched or knocked out cold.
The first came at Hannah’s when she told me I’d been the first man she’d been with since that motherfucker. I mean come on, it wasn’t like I’d been much of a prince charming. Hell, I hadn’t treated her right. She deserved so much better than me.
As if that wasn’t weighing heavily on my mind, the knock out that came next, still had me reeling.
We’d gotten home that night and I was brushing my teeth when Scarlett came into my bathroom after doing the same.
“Daddy,” she’d said with a sigh, “Aunt Fiona even took Mommy’s toothbrush.”
I stopped mid brush. My eyes had darted to the stand where I’d only moments before picked up my toothbrush, and she was right, Tricia’s was gone. “What do you mean, even took?” I somehow managed to ask.
It was her who had noticed it, not me, and I think that what’s really got me—the fact that I hadn’t even noticed.
“Didn’t you see?” She was almost crying. “Mommy’s closet is empty.”
I darted out of the bathroom and froze when I looked into the empty closet opposite mine. I had spoken to Fiona weeks ago about doing just what she did, and still, it was a shock.
My daughter was on my heels. “See!”
I glanced down at her, trying to breath and trying even harder to keep it together. And I said, “Yes, remember, we asked Aunt Fiona to donate Mommy’s things.”
“I remember, Daddy, to the ladies who need things,” she’d said with a sniffle. And I swear my heart broke for her at that moment.
She’d already been through so much.
After I’d put her to bed, and laid beside her until she’d fallen asleep, I went back to Tricia’s closet.
There was a bright pink box I hadn’t noticed on one of the shelves with a note on top of it. It had read,
My Dearest Jace,
Thank you for the extremely generous donation. The items will be well appreciated. I can’t even begin to think I know how you feel, but it was time. And I hope you’re not upset, but I also took some of the many framed and loose photos that were around the house and put them in this box for you to give to Scarlett someday. If I was overstepping, I am deeply sorry.
All my love,
Fi
Fiona wasn’t overstepping. Not that knowing that made it any easier. She’d been right to do so.
Even still, I spent the night sleeping on the floor of that closet, and when I woke up, for the first time since Tricia’s death, I considered moving. The ghosts were big in that house. This was something I knew I had to discuss with Scarlett, when I was up to it.
Now, as I attached the invitation to the inter-office email I was getting ready to send to all of the Flirt employees inviting them to the Outreach Fundraiser in my wife’s honor, I stared at the picture of Tricia beside my desk for a long, long, time before hitting send on the email. Once I did, I opened the back of the photo and placed Scarlett’s latest school picture on top of it.
I knew where it would be if I needed it, safely behind that of our daughter’s.
It was just past seven, and a handful of us had stayed late at the office to assure the launch of the new rating system in the test markets we had selected, both high volume and volume Uber use, went live without a hitch.
A noise from down the hallway had me quickly setting the frame gripped tightly in my hand safely down on the credenza before I glanced up.
Hannah and Perry were high-fiving each other and then Perry slipped into his office, while Hannah continued down the hall to her office, which was a few doors down from his.
Something had me getting to my feet and standing in the doorway. “Hannah,” I called. “How’d it go?”
She glanced up from the iPad in her hand and smiled. “Brilliantly. Not a single problem. We are up and running.”
Before I could respond, Perry stepped out of his office with his coat and briefcase in hand. “Oh, good, there you are,” he said to me. “I was just about to come and tell you that we are live.”
I grinned at him. “I just heard. That’s fantastic news.”
Hannah stood between the two of us in a blue dress that I swore matched her eyes. She was…captivating.
Perry nodded toward Hannah and then shut his door. “Now we wait and see what happens.”
“You headed out?” I asked.
“Yeah, got here at six. I’m beat. Did you need something?”
Leaning back against the doorframe, I shook my head. “Nothing that can’t wait, but tomorrow if you don’t mind slipping me the baseline graphics for the test markets, I’d like to be able to monitor them myself.”
“Let me get them right now,” he offered.
Hannah spoke up. “I have the information right here. Let me just print it out in graph form. It shouldn’t take long.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Perry, now go.”
“Thanks, Hannah,” he said. “See you both in the morning.”
“Have a good night,” Hannah told him.
“Tomorrow, man,” I said, and turned back into my office.
Back at my desk, I thought about wrapping things up for the day, but then decided against it. Mrs. Sherman was with Scarlett and both of them knew I was working late. I didn’t do it often, so while I had the time, I should use it to catch up.
The dozens of unread messages in my inbox would be a good place to start. Junk. Not interested. Could read later.
I was clicking on them and sorting them at the same time when the one I’d been waiting for arrived. It was from Amanda, and it was the source code to I’m Here. I pumped my fist in the air. Things were looking better.
The tap at my door had me glancing up. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”
I laughed, low. “Not at all. Just celebrating the latest addition to our family.”
Hannah’s eyes widened in delight. “You got the code.”
Not many people would be excited about this, but Hannah was. “I sure did.”
“That’s fantastic, Jace. I can’t wait to get started on integrating it into Flirt’s platform.”
The way she said my name made me feel like I was almost whole. It was the strangest thing. And I found myself contemplating what it meant.
Hannah cleared her throat. “First things first, though. I have the baseline numbers you wanted.”
I looked back up at her, and this time I found myself drinking in the sight of her. “Thanks, I appreciate you offering to stay to get them to me.”
As soon as her gaze connected with mine, I saw a flare of trepidation in it that I understood. “It wasn’t a problem. Jonah is with the sitter and they are eating popcorn and watching a movie.”
The instant shock of awareness that it was just the two of us left in the office caused a tension between us that was nearly tangible. “Yeah, sorry about the late night, but they don’t happen often.”
She walked toward me and when she got close enough, I caught a whisper of her perfume. It drove me crazy. Setting the stapled pack on my desk, she glanced over at the frame. “That’s a great photo of Scarlett. Jonah’s didn’t turn out so well. His eyes were closed.”
With an amused grin, I picked the frame up. “Usually Scarlett’s are like that. Not sure what happened this time.”
Her laughter felt infectious, and the sound caused an ac
he in my cock. “At least I know Jonah isn’t the only one,” she said, looking as though she was about to turn on her heels to leave.
I didn’t want her to.
Getting to my feet, I found myself circling my desk. The words that came out as I stepped, did so without me giving them much thought. “Want to sit down a minute?”
She looked at me, then the chairs opposite my desk, and finally over to the sofa that was against the wall. The room was setup so that no matter where you sat, you had a view of the river, and since it was dusk, the lights of the city were just beginning to turn on.
“I’m not going to make a pass at you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Her eyes searched my face for a moment, and there was something so vulnerable and open about her expression that my heart immediately began to pound. “I’m not worried. I can handle you, Jace Bennett.” She tossed it out so casually, I might have thought she meant it if not for the tremble in her voice.
Not pressing my luck, I strode over to the sofa. “I already know that.”
At first she stayed right where she was.
“I’d offer you a drink, but we both have to drive home, so how about a water, instead?”
Obviously having decided to sit down, she started toward me. “I’m good, thank you.”
I took a seat right in the center of the sofa, and once sitting, I loosened my tie. “Listen, I should have called.”
She stopped right where she was. “Please, Jace, I don’t want to do this.” Her voice was stern.
“Do what?”
Finally, she stepped forward and sat down. “Play games,” she said with an exhausted sigh.
There was no way I could let that pass. “I don’t want to play games either.”
Everything about her went rigid, from the way she was sitting to the slight frown on her face. “Good, because there is too much at stake for me. I like my job, no I love my job, and I don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize it.”