by Kim Karr
That anger which lies beneath the surface of my skin emerged, and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Christ, Hannah, I would never let what happens between you and me personally impact your job, or mine, for that matter. I do know how to keep one separate from the other.”
The breath of relief she expelled proved she didn’t know that regardless of what she said. “I didn’t mean to infer you didn’t, it’s just I’m worried that whatever is going on between us won’t—” She stopped there and shook her head. “Never mind.”
Throwing her an inquiring look, I said, “No, tell me.”
Her face remained calm, although she started kneading her hands together as if nervous. “You’re hot and cold. Up and down. And there once was a time I knew how to deal with that. I don’t anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that you lost the love of your life, but I can’t be a faceless substitute.”
Instead of being offended, I laughed, but it wasn’t real or hardy. It was rather sad, actually. Feeling caged in, I bolted off the couch to my desk, and with my palms on the wooden surface, I leaned down on it. It was dark outside now, and as I stared out into it, I didn’t turn around. “See that’s the problem, Hannah, you don’t really understand. What if she was the substitute? What if Tricia wasn’t the love of my life? What if I made a mistake not trying to win you back?”
The sound of quick movement was loud. Suddenly, her arms were gently wrapping around me.
Her body was so achingly familiar, I felt like I was drowning in a sensation I never wanted to end.
“Jace, you can’t think that way. It will drive you out of your mind. The only thing you can do is move forward in the way that feels right to you. There is no crystal ball or time machine. We do what we do. We get what we get. And we make it great,” she said.
Philosophy wasn’t what I needed to hear. Lost in the moment, in the feel of her around me, I didn’t know what I needed, other than to taste her. I spun around and hauled her tight to me so fast that I didn’t give her time to contemplate what we were doing before I crashed my mouth over hers. The kiss was desperate, needy, and a little rough, and still she kissed me back as if she too, just needed to taste me.
Wet.
Hot.
Wild.
There was fierceness, a harsh quality of craving within me I tried to tame, but knew I couldn’t. And when Hannah moaned into my mouth, a heat roared through me setting me ablaze.
I needed to taste her.
To feel her.
To be inside her.
Somehow I managed to twist our bodies, turning them until I had Hannah pushed against my desk. Like that, I could use my hands to roam her body. I didn’t know where I wanted to start. I squeezed her breasts, kneading her nipples into tight little peaks through the fabric of her dress. Then I cupped her ass, caressing it back and forth. All the while my mouth devoured hers. Our tongues. Our lips. Our teeth. Eventually I took hold of the back of her thigh and lifted her leg so I could press my erection against her.
And fuck, it felt so good that I started to fuck her with our clothes on.
Christ.
That was when she pushed hard against my chest, and forced me back, not far, but just enough to break our kiss. Her gaze was burning when she lifted her eyes to mine. And then tenderly, she reached up and caressed my cheek, brushing her thumb over my lower lip. “What are we doing?” she asked, breathless.
I stared at her in silence for a moment before speaking. “What we do,” I said with a grin, “and seeing where it leads.”
I made it sound so simple.
If only it was.
31
Present Day
Hannah Michaels Crestfall
What we do ended up being screwing each other brain’s out.
Not that it was a bad thing. Still, six weeks had passed and Jace and I were not any closer to figuring out what we were than we had been ten years ago.
It should have been a sign.
The thing was, just like ten years ago, I always felt like there were three of us in the room, only this time around, there wasn’t. It was Jace and me, and yet I suspected his late wife was somewhere out on the fringes of his consciousness.
It was in the way he would glance away from me just as he came that I felt that way the most. But I also partly suspected this because we never hooked up at his place.
He didn’t want to let me into that part of his life.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t realized I hadn’t been back to his house since the night in his kitchen because I did.
But I also understood his situation was fragile, which is why I never pushed anything. Tricia wasn’t the other woman, like Ethan had been the other man all those years ago. She was his wife, and he loved her. In my eyes that made him the kind of man who was worthy of love.
Still, there were times I thought about ending things between us. Times like when I felt he wasn’t really present. Or that it wasn’t really me he wanted—just someone. And there were times my heart felt a little sad.
Either we took our lunch hour at my house, in which case we barely made it in the door without stripping each other naked. Or we let the kids fall asleep on the couch after Friday night football training or Saturday night painting, and then slipped upstairs before he woke Scarlett to bring her home.
Never did we connect on a physical level at work, and I was glad for that. We didn’t talk on the phone much, either, unless you counted the late nights and heavy breathing that took place every once in a while. The only time we spent physically alone was when we were fucking. I think that’s what bothered me the most—the lack of a true emotional connection. I think he knew it too, and that he was trying really hard to avoid rekindling that connection we had once shared.
Despite the nagging in my brain that told me I was going to get hurt, I couldn’t stop what we were doing. The urge to be with him was like some hungry, furious thing, and it was eating me alive.
Besides, tonight was about to change things. It would be the first night the two of us would be going out together, without the kids.
A date. Well, almost.
It was Friday night, and Ethan and Fiona were having a holiday party. Jace had invited me to accompany him. I hadn’t been with his friends in any group setting since college, and I was nervous.
In addition, with the weather as cold as it was, football had been put on hiatus. Basketball, however, was promised in the upcoming weeks.
At just past five, Jace and I left work. The week had been a success with many long days. The test market results were in, and it turned out whether in a highly populated Uber market or not, the rating system drew new users and the cancelation of subscriptions were minimal. Bottom line, it was a huge success, and with the Find Me interface having been implemented last week, the company had its best week this year.
In celebration mode, Jace and I made our way to the garage. His arm slipped around my waist, pulling me closer. Hip to hip. His thumb moved back and forth against the inner skin of my wrist in slow, slow strokes.
It felt so good I trembled. When we reached my car, he unlocked it with the keyless remote he’d taken from my hands. He leaned closer and brushed his lips to my earlobe. His breath pushed a few strands of my hair.
A car came around the corner, and he backed away. We hadn’t come out to the office yet, and getting caught would definitely push that hand.
Jace was wearing a black wool peacoat with his collar upturned. That, along with his tousled hair, sexy cologne, and designer sunglasses, made him look like an Abercrombie and Fitch model.
He caught me staring and smiled. He was used to it by now. “You going to be okay driving home without me?”
“Yep. Just fine.”
“You sure?” He raised a brow.
“I’m sure.” I snatched my keys and got in my car. Yet I kept my eye on him in the rearview mirror the entire trip back to my house.
Mrs. Sherman had picked up Scarlett and Jonah, and was keeping them at Jace’s
house. The plan was that we’d swing by there after the party and pick up Jonah, and then Jace would drive us home while Mrs. Sherman stayed with Scarlett.
It would have been easier for me to drive to his house after work to get ready, but that would have entailed having me inside for a prolonged length of time, and also ruled out any screwing around, either before or after.
When we arrived, I parked in the garage and he pulled in behind me. It took me a moment to gather my things. He was waiting for me with his hands in his pockets and one leg crossed over the other.
“Hurry up! It’s cold out here,” he said with a smirk.
My tongue ran over my bottom lip at the sight of him. “I’m coming.”
He was watching me intently. I took a slow step because I was wearing high-heeled boots I wasn’t accustomed to wearing. In my previous job, jeans and my trusty old Converse sufficed, as everyone dressed casual in the office, all the time. Now though, with the rain having caused the concrete to be a little icy, I had to be careful.
The scrutiny made my cheeks flush under his watchful gaze. And he had that look. Like we were sharing a secret, which we kind of were. When I took another slow step, he started laughing and took me by the elbow. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.”
I hoped not, in more ways than one.
The long, narrow path led us to the back door, and with our hands interlaced, we took it slowly.
The craftsman-style home on a double lot with its finished basement and gourmet-style kitchen was what first attracted me to the house. However, it was the fenced-in backyard, which backed up to a small patch of woods, that sealed the deal. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to buy the house.
Jace’s eyes seemed to scan the area as if for the first time, and I supposed he had never been out here. “Your backyard is huge.”
“I know. I want to put a pool in, and a barbecue area, and a swing set…not necessarily in that order. Jonah is really excited for the swing set, so I’ll probably do that this spring.”
Jace whistled. “Scarlett would die for a pool or a swing set.”
“Well, if I ever get the backyard done, she’ll be welcome anytime.”
One minute we were taking the steps to the porch, which thankfully were not icy, and chatting up a storm. The next minute he had me against the door, and he was licking at my mouth. “I hope I’m invited, too.”
The joy that suffused me caused me to be as breathless as his kiss.
In the midst of our kiss, he took my hand and put it under his coat, right on the front of his pants. Right on his thick and very hard cock. The shudder of my breath was loud, but turned into an even louder gasp when he rubbed my palm back and forth over his erection.
Sure, it was cold outside, and yes it would be much warmer inside, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I took over the movement, and my hand went low enough that I could curl my fingers around the bulge of his balls.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
A little faster.
His breath caught, and then somehow he had my keys in his hand and was unlocking the door.
As soon as we stepped into the kitchen, I pushed him against the wall and kicked the door shut.
Saying nothing, I took his coat off and then mine and let them fall to the ground. He was breathing heavy. His eyes were wide with pupils that were both dilated and dark. And his lips were slightly parted and moist from our kiss.
Dropping to my knees, I quickly yanked his belt open, and his button and zipper just as fast. His straining cock pushed at the front of his Calvins and I had it in my hand the very next second.
The wooden floor beneath my knees was hard, and yet I didn’t care as I used one of my knees to nudge his legs farther apart. Like that, I pulled his pants and boxers down to his thighs.
When he was pulsing against my palm, I skimmed my hand upward, barely brushing the tip of his cock. His hips surged forward, and I gripped his shaft so I could keep him in place. I glanced up and he looked down. His gaze was dark and lustful, and I knew he couldn’t wait for more.
Maintaining the locked gaze we shared, I opened my mouth and let my hot breath seep out over his hotter flesh. He shivered just then and I knew I had done that to him. I wanted to do more. I wanted to drive him crazy. I took him inside my mouth a little further, and when I slid him out, I did so lightly using my teeth.
That’s when he pressed his palms flat to the wall. I took a moment then to lick at his inner thigh. The skin was soft and when I pressed my teeth to his flesh, I nipped hard enough to cause him to cry out.
With my tongue, I licked up the underside of his cock until I got back to the tip. There, I swirled and licked before I took just that part of him into my mouth and closed around it. Jace let out a long, tortured groan and closed his eyes.
I brought him further into the hot heat of my mouth and when I did his head bent forward. Everything I was doing, he was feeling.
Further in and then out with my teeth, I developed a rhythm, and when I had taken him a little more than halfway in, he shook.
Using my hands now, I moved them up and down in time with my mouth, and his hips pumped forward.
With flicking flutters of my tongue, I teased him. My hands moved. And when I took him even further, his thigh muscles started to quiver.
Continuing slowly, my movements were meant to be teasing, but I was surprised how well he held out. It wasn’t until I licked him from his base upward, and then swirled my tongue around his tip that he opened his eyes and shuddered.
Looking down at me with that intense gray stare which made me melt, he licked his lips. “Please,” he pleaded.
At that, I took him all the way to the back of my throat and then sucked him hard. I could feel how wet I was for him. I think I was dripping for him. Figuring why not, I decided to satisfy my urge. With our eyes locked, I slipped my free hand under the hem of my dress and into the waistband of my tights. I was thankful I hadn’t worn a pencil skirt because I was able to secure my dress out of my way.
Jace groaned as he watched me as I worked a finger inside myself. “Fuck,” he muttered, and then slid his own fingers into my hair, which was pinned back in a knot, and came loose when he tugged hard enough to make me gasp.
In that moment everything was about us. I fucked him with my mouth. With my tongue. With my teeth. And I rubbed circles around my clit, pressing in just the right spot. Like that, it wasn’t long before the ecstasy of climax pulled me under and I was coming in long, rippling waves.
Jace groaned again, and it had me refocusing on him. He was whispering my name, and his fingers were twisting and tangling in my hair. “Fuck,” he said once more. “Oh, fuck this feels so good…I’m…I’m going to come.”
It was my warning, but I didn’t move or let him pull out. Instead I used both my hands to grip his hips and keep him in place as his hips jerked. It wasn’t long before he cried out again. The sound was desperate, urgent, needy, and music to my ears.
Once his taste had flooded me, I swallowed, stood, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. It wasn’t something I’d ever done—the hand wiping part—but it felt appropriate. Sexy in a way.
Jace slumped against the wall, his hair damp with sweat, his body relaxed, his eyes half-lidded. With a grin on his face, he leaned to kiss me on the lips, and then went back to using the wall for support.
I waited, breathless, for us both to recover. I already knew I was going to take him to the shower, and he might go down on me in there or we might fuck, or who knew, maybe both. Afterwards we would dress to get ready to go. If time permitted, we might even sit down and talk about work or the kids, just never about us.
His gaze flickered over my face, and then zeroed in on my eyes. He stared at me like that for a long while. It wasn’t the lost-in-lust eye lock we’d shared moments ago. Rather, it was something else entirely. It was as if he was looking at me and seeing me and wanting me to be his, all at the same time.<
br />
That possessive look sent a shiver down my spine.
The thought came to me out of nowhere, and I began to wonder if I’d had it all wrong. What if instead of inviting his late wife into our relationship, he was actually trying to push her out of his mind?
Was he ready to move on?
Before I could finish my assessment, he leaned over and kissed my mouth. Then he trailed hot, openmouthed kisses down my neck. “Shower,” he said, his voice cracking with sexual anticipation.
As I nodded, I couldn’t help but wonder if we might be falling back in love.
Then again, I’d never fallen out…
32
Present Day
Hannah Michaels Crestfall
Wealth had ceased being the line I drew in the sand years ago.
I no longer thought of money as what defined you. That if you had money you were a big shot, and if you didn’t, well, you were one of the big shot’s pawns to toy with.
Growing up in the Crestfall household hadn’t been easy. I had so many issues with the way they chose to behave that I had wrongly stereotyped anyone from privilege.
After having my own child though, and dedicating my life to him and my career, I saw the benefit of making money.
Freelancing in the web design field had given me financial independence, and the peace of mind that my son and myself wouldn’t have to grow up under the Crestfall thumb as I had done.
With that, I had also let go of my bias.
I wasn’t rich, but I wasn’t poor. I could afford to send my son to a private school and buy a house. I could afford a car and groceries and a college fund for Jonah. So what if I had to save to remodel or plan a vacation.
And yet as I looked at the front of Ethan’s home, and saw the grandeur of it, I felt a twinge of sadness that I hadn’t been around to see him become what he knew he would be some day.
A great lawyer.
Ethan, like me, had grown up without privilege, and this huge turn-of-the-century-brownstone in Lincoln Park was his. I understood how Jace had owned a home like that, but Ethan, this only told me he really had made a success of his life.