by Harley Wylde
Wouldn’t he have shared that with the man he was with? Or any other person for that matter. I didn’t understand why it would be a secret. “Okay. You make that sound bad.”
He made a sound, part laugh and part derision. “I get tested because of my past. Going to the clinic every month isn’t the secret. It’s the why. I’m always worried the last test was wrong and something will pop up on the next one. Most of the guys don’t go as often as I do, but I can’t take any chances.”
“So, you were with a lot of women. I’d thought that was common for men,” I said.
He stared straight ahead, not looking at me. I crept a little closer, but kept my distance, not because I was afraid, but because I felt as if he needed some space. Whatever he was trying to say, it obviously weighed on him. What was so horrible about his past?
“My family is gone. My grandparents died in a car crash when I was thirteen. Two years later, I lost my parents to a fire. The system wasn’t kind to a kid like me. I ran before my sixteenth birthday and lived on the streets. Only one way to stay safe out there and that was to pay for protection. Except I didn’t have anything to offer.”
My heart ached for him. I knew what he’d offered. Himself. It’s why I’d fought so hard to make a better life for my son, to get us both out of Mexico. I didn’t want that life for either of us, and with no job skills other than being able to sew, I knew it wouldn’t have been long before I ended up on my back. I didn’t look down on anyone who’d been forced into that life, or chosen it, but I’d known it wasn’t something I was willing to do. It sounded like Dagger still struggled with his decision.
“Started out just being the one guy who said he’d keep me safe, but things changed. A guy offered him money to have an hour with me, and he took it. After that, my protector became my pimp, whoring me out. I could have left, but I had nowhere to go. At least if I stayed with Rick, I knew he’d watch out for me, make sure no one went too far. Out on my own, I’d have probably ended up raped. And yes, I know what happened to me is essentially the same thing, but it was still safer. I didn’t bulk up until I was closer to twenty. Scrawny kid on the streets didn’t stand a chance.”
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks, and I reached out, placing my hand on his back. He tensed, but didn’t pull away. I wondered how long he’d kept this bottled up. He said no one here knew about his past, yet he was sharing it with me. Even though we were strangers, he had to trust me at least a little to keep his secret. If he’d not wanted the club to know, surely he wouldn’t have told me if he didn’t believe I’d hold his confidence. Or maybe it’s because of what I’d been through that he felt a connection of some sort?
“I eventually ran when I was eighteen. Didn’t have a single fucking life skill except sucking cock and taking it up the ass. Grizzly found me. Offered me a spot here as a Prospect. Worked my ass off doing shit jobs, but I had a roof over my head and food in my stomach, and I didn’t have to bend over or hit my knees to get it. I eventually earned my patch and my name. Never did tell him where I’d come from or what I’d been. He never asked.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I said, pressing myself closer to him. If anyone ever needed comfort, it was this man. I wrapped my arm around him and laid my cheek against his shoulder. “If you thought it would make me see you as less, you’re wrong.”
He sighed, but I felt a little of the tension leave him. Maybe telling me about his past had lifted some of the burden. I knew keeping secrets could weigh you down.
“I always knew if I settled down I’d have to tell my partner, whether they were female, male, or I got lucky and had one of each. It’s why I’ve always kept things casual, never made any commitments. As long as we were just having fun, then it wasn’t their business. I was clean and that was all that mattered.”
“Jared doesn’t know,” I said. “Were you going to tell him?”
“Someday. Maybe. Depends on whether he sticks around for the long haul. We’ve just been having fun, no commitment.”
He reached up and wrapped his hand around my wrist. I’d thought he meant to pry me loose, but he held on. Was his rough side, that dark edge, because of what he’d been through? I would imagine for a big guy like him, not having control had been difficult. It would explain his need to be so dominant now. I could respect that, and everything he’d survived.
“Can I stay here while I think about it?” I asked. “Get used to being around you, and see if we’re even compatible?”
He nodded. “There’s a guest room. You can stay there. No fucking clue why I have one because I didn’t need the room for anything. Used to be a club whore here who liked to decorate homes and shit. When Grizzly had these houses put in, he let her put basic furnishings in a few. Some of the guys wanted to pick their own shit, but I picked a furnished house. If it had been up to me, that room would be empty like the others.”
“Others?” I asked.
“House has four bedrooms. This one, the guest room, and then two others. Never use more than this bedroom. I don’t even go in the other three. If you decide to stay, decide to be mine, we can set up one of the other bedrooms for your son.” He cracked his neck. “Our son, I guess. If you want me to marry you.”
And that right there was the main reason I was even going to consider this insanity. If I married Dagger, he not only offered to be faithful, but my son would have a father. I just had to decide if I could handle being with Dagger and another man, or if it would mean asking him to give up Jared, or any other man he’d want to settle down with. There was a chance Jared wouldn’t want any part of this and would walk. I didn’t know how Dagger would react if that happened.
“Looks like it’s just us for dinner,” Dagger said. “I’ll go start the grill.”
I released him as he stood, but he turned to face me. There was still a haunted look in his eyes, and I wished I knew how to chase it away. He was offering me so much, and I had nothing to give him in return.
“You don’t have to make the steaks. I know you wanted to have them with Jared.” And then I’d come here and wrecked their plans, and possibly more. What if my being here tore the two of them apart?
“Not sure that’s going to happen anytime soon.” He glanced around the room before turning his gaze to me. “You need more than things like that dress. You up for going out to eat? We can make a quick stop at the superstore, get you some shorts or something.”
“You don’t have to buy me clothes.”
He smiled a little. “Yeah, princesa. I do. Can’t have you in things like that. The sunlight let me see straight through it, and while I enjoyed the view, I don’t like the idea of you running around here with all these men being able to see what’s under your dress.”
If I were going to consider marrying him, even if it were only for the sake of getting my son here, then I needed to learn to let someone help take care of me. I could tell Dagger wasn’t the type to let his woman do things on her own. He might be bossy, but I had no doubt he’d protect and provide for any woman he claimed. “All right. But only a few things,” I agreed. “I don’t need much.”
“We’ll see, princesa. We’ll see.” He eyed me again. “Can’t have you riding on my bike in that, though. We’ll have to go up to the clubhouse and get the keys to a club truck or SUV. Need the space for your new things anyway. Just need to find something to cover you up before we leave.”
I wasn’t going to argue. For now. But if he tried to buy too much, I wouldn’t accept. I didn’t need anyone spending a bunch of money on me, not when it could be used for something better… like bringing my son here. A few changes of clothes were more than enough. I could always wash them. It wasn’t like I needed a new outfit for every day of the week. That might be important to some women, but not to me.
He pulled a button-down shirt from his closet and helped me put it on. I only fastened it partway, and Dagger had to roll the sleeves. It hung on me, nearly as long as my dress, but I supposed that’s the way
he wanted it. Part of me liked the thought of someone caring whether or not another man could see through my clothes. It had been a long time since anyone took an interest in my wardrobe or well-being. The only other kindness I’d been extended was being left here, because it seemed this man would help me get my son back, one way or another.
* * *
Jared
Any other time, I’d use one of the club whores to work out my frustrations, but it felt wrong. Yeah, I’d fucked a few, or let them suck me off, since I’d been with Dagger, but I’d thought we actually had something. I might just be a Prospect as far as the club was concerned, but I’d thought I meant more to him. The look he’d shot my way when I’d questioned him had proven that to be false.
So why wasn’t I balls-deep in club pussy right now?
Because I was a fucking moron, that’s why. Even though Dagger had made me feel like shit, like I wasn’t worthy to be included in the conversation, I still wanted him. It wasn’t even just that. He wasn’t the only one who had gotten hard over seeing Zoe out in the yard. The woman had some serious curves, and her skin felt like satin. I had to wonder if Dagger had even considered the possibility Shella had never been the one for us, and little Zoe dropped into our laps for a reason.
She seemed sweet and innocent. Maybe too much so. Could she even handle being with two men? My dick got harder thinking about it. Picturing her lips wrapped around my cock while Dagger fucked her from behind. I didn’t know if that was something Dagger even wanted, or if Zoe would agree to it. And since I’d stormed off, I wouldn’t be finding out anytime soon.
I knew I needed time to cool down and think things over, and Dagger was probably pissed as hell at me. I’d try to see him tomorrow. That should give both of us enough time to clear our heads, and maybe we could have a conversation so I could figure out exactly where I stood with him. If he was going to help Zoe get her kid back, I wanted to be part of it too. I’d seen the look in her eyes and knew she was hurting. I didn’t know how Dagger would pull it off, but if he gave her his word, I knew he’d come through one way or another. I shouldn’t have questioned him, not in front of Zoe. If it had just been the two of us, then he wouldn’t have thought anything of it.
“Way to go, asshole. You let your emotions get the better of you again,” I muttered to myself.
Having twenty-twenty hindsight was a bitch.
Chapter Three
Dagger
Telling Zoe about my past hadn’t been easy, but it had been the right thing to do. Not just because she might be my wife, but it had changed things between us. She wasn’t afraid of me, and had relaxed more. I’d even seen her smile a few times since we’d left the compound. To say my brothers were shocked when I grabbed the keys to an SUV, then left with Zoe was an understatement. I had no doubt I’d be getting a call from the Pres, asking me what the fuck I was doing with her. He’d made it clear they weren’t here for our amusement, even though it seemed at least one of my brothers didn’t listen. It still pissed me off that someone had tried to touch her.
One way or another, I was going to find out who had done it, and kick his fucking ass. I just had to get her to trust me enough to open up. She was silent on the drive to the store. I had a feeling she was going to be difficult when it came time to buy the things she needed. I wondered how long it had been since someone took care of Zoe. I looked at her, really looked. I could see the circles under her eyes, and the stress lines bracketing her mouth.
“There’s usually a pen and small pad somewhere in the club vehicles. See if you can find them. I want you to write down the name and address of the woman who has your son,” I said. I wanted to make sure the bitch still had the boy and wasn’t taking Zoe’s money, but I wasn’t about to tell her that and make her worry even more.
She dug around until she found them in the passenger door. She started writing, then ripped off the page and handed it to me. I folded it and shoved it into my pocket. While she shopped, I’d text the info to Outlaw and get him to check on the boy by whatever means necessary. I couldn’t imagine leaving my kid behind, but I understood why she had. There probably hadn’t been a lot of opportunities for her back home, and I knew the assholes who had brought her here wouldn’t have let her bring the kid. Not unless they had a reason. Just sucked she got caught up with some bad men who were taking advantage. I had no doubt she’d have worked herself to the bone for years before they’d killed her and dumped the body. She’d have never seen her boy again.
I parked as close to the door as I could. After I shut off the engine, she reached for the door, but I placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. “You wait right there.”
She released the door handle and nodded. I got out and walked around to the passenger side to open her door and help her out. I made sure the vehicle was locked, then placed a hand at her waist and led her inside the store. She stared at everything with wide eyes and I wondered if she’d never been shopping at a place like this. Since she’d been sending her money back home, she’d probably shopped at the dollar-type stores for her essentials. This place wasn’t on the same level as the mall shops, but it was definitely better quality than those cheaper spots.
“Let’s start with the bathroom items, and we’ll work our way around to the clothes and shoes,” I said. She opened her mouth, no doubt to say she didn’t need all that, but I silenced her with a look.
I let her push the cart, thinking it might keep her hands occupied when I started grabbing stuff I knew she’d need. I could already tell she was going to argue with me. Or try. There was no fucking way I was walking out of here without making sure she had everything she needed. Didn’t matter if it came from my account or the club’s money. The fact no one had made sure she had the basics made me want to punch something. Yeah, Beau had said he’d prep the apartments for the women, but it was obvious Zoe had needed clothing and shoes as well. The Pres might have given her cash for those things, but not a damn brother or Prospect had ensured she actually got them. And I was no fucking better. I hadn’t given a second thought to those women.
“Princesa, anyone else sending money home? Are you the only one who didn’t buy clothes and shit when Griz gave you that cash?”
“I think everyone else went shopping,” she said. Then her brow furrowed. “Except maybe Franny. She went with them, but she only came back with one bag. The others bought more.”
So Franny probably sent her money elsewhere too, unless she was saving it for something else, like a way out of the compound. Griz wouldn’t let them loose unless he knew they could take care of themselves. I filed that info away for later. I knew Wolf had been keeping an eye on Franny, or had been trying to without being obvious. I’d let him know she might need some shit.
While Zoe eyed the shelves, I pulled out the slip of paper she’d given me, snapped a picture, and sent it off to Outlaw. Check on the boy.
I’d get the kid here, whatever it took, but I’d have to come up with a plan. The border patrol wasn’t going to let me waltz back into the US with a little boy in the back seat who didn’t have the proper documentation. Sneaking across wasn’t as easy as some people seemed to think, and I wasn’t about to use a fucking coyote to get the boy here. Didn’t trust them for a second. Little kid would fetch more money than they’d make getting him here. I could easily see them selling the boy before I got him to his mother.
We made it all the way down three aisles of girly shit without Zoe reaching for a single item. She was going to piss me off. I didn’t have a clue what sorts of scents she liked, or know the damn difference between the brands lining the shelves. The only dresses I’d ever seen her wear had flowers on them. I didn’t know if that was due to a lack of options or because she liked floral stuff. It was a gamble, but I grabbed some soap and lavender-scented lotion. I added one of those poofy things women washed with, and a pack of razors with some shaving cream. If she didn’t like it, she could damn well pick out her own stuff.
Zoe narrowed her eyes at th
e items in the cart, but was a smart girl and didn’t say a damn thing about any of them. Her hair was long and beautiful, but I knew damn well to keep it shiny and soft she needed something better than the basic shit those apartments had stocked. I’d gone with Outlaw once when he’d picked up a few things for Elena. I remembered the brand of shampoo she’d gotten, but there were about six different kinds. I grabbed one that had a matching conditioner available and tossed them into the cart. Then I grabbed a brush, a comb, and a few different hair things. I didn’t know what any of them were called, but I’d seen Meiling, Elena, and some of the club whores wearing this sort of stuff. Not that I would dare compare Zoe to a club whore, but she had long hair and most of them did too.
“Dagger, it’s too much. I don’t need all this,” she said, reaching into the cart.
“Princesa, you take so much as one item out of there and I will spank your ass right here and now.”
She gasped and yanked her hand back, but I noticed her cheeks were flushed and I didn’t think it was entirely from embarrassment. She might not be experienced, but with the right man, I’d be willing to bet she’d try just about anything once. Not that I’d be finding out, unless she decided she wanted me to marry her so we could bring her boy here. It wouldn’t surprise me if she accepted. Not because I thought I was such an awesome catch, but because it was clear she’d do whatever it took to keep her son safe and have him in her arms again. I wanted nothing more than to go after the kid and bring him home to her, but I wasn’t stupid enough to try it on my own. I’d need some help, and if Outlaw wasn’t going to lend a hand, I didn’t know if my club would back me up on this one or not.