“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” He says the word three times in eager succession. He turns his head to the side and smiles. He looks at the bags sitting on the table. “Wh-what you bring me?” His tone holds the joy of a kid on Christmas morning.
“We’ll get to that. I want you to meet, Liri.”
“Li-Li-Liri,” he sounds out my name and his eyes meet mine.
“My….my.” He pulls his hands from her grasp and he smacks at his chest over his heart. “My da-daughter.”
“Yes. Your daughter. This is her boyfriend.”
He gets a weird look on his face and addresses Killian. “Tr-treat her right.”
“I promise,” Killian tells him, and I start to cry. It’s too much. I don’t know if I can do this.
My father motions to the nurse to scoot him in front of me. “C-can I?” He reaches his hand out for my face, and I lean forward. His fingers are clumsy, and he pokes me in the nose and eye on accident as he explores my features. “Be-be-beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I suck in a breath and try to dry my tears.
“Grown up. Grown up.”
“Yes, she is all grown up. She brought you some of your favorite snacks.”
“I drew you a picture,” I tell him, and he smiles that crooked grin at me. It hurts to see him this way, but I know I needed to come. Killian moves to get the portrait I have been working on of the picture that is in my locket Hayley gave me. When he hands it to my father, he studies it for a minute then his face contorts, and he snarls.
“Not me. Not me,” he yells and starts ripping the corner.
“Hey, be nice,” Sandy tells him and gives the drawing to the nurse.
“Sandy bitch. Sandy bitch.” He repeats over and over. I notice that when James speaks fast his words come out more clearly but when he slows down to sound things out, he stutters and gets confused.
“Okay, James. That’s enough. I brought your daughter here to see you. There is no reason for your bad behavior.”
“Hate it here. Hate it. Hate you. H-hate you all,” he says, and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. He makes a fist and starts punching the side of his head knocking his hat to the floor revealing his bald spot.
“He used to have great hair,” Sandy tells Killian as the nurse does her best to stop him. “He started pulling it out, so we put hats on him to stop the impulse.” He tries to bite the nurse and grabs her boob and pinches her.
“I’m sorry but we are going to have to sedate him.”
I nod and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
“We’ll try again some other time,” Sandy assures me.
It may make me sound like a horrible person, but I don’t know if I will be back. Seeing him has broken my heart. When I was younger, I used to fantasize often that he was going to get better and show up at my birthday party or on some holiday like Easter and he’d be so wonderful. Today that illusion has been shattered.
Sandy stays around to speak with the doctor, and I say a quick goodbye needing to get out of that place.
We get outside and Killian hugs me tight. “It’s okay, baby. You did great.” His lips touch mine as I cry.
“That was terrible,” I tell him. “I’m a horrible daughter because I don’t think I can do that ever again.”
“You’re not terrible. You’re the best person I know.”
“No, I’m not but thank you for saying it and thinking it.” I inhale his scent and dry my tears.
“You ready to get out of here?”
I nod once and close my eyes. Then I take a deep breath and look back at the facility one last time.
Killian buckles me in the passenger side of his car, and we drive away.
Chapter 33
Liri
“It doesn’t matter what you wear. You look beautiful in everything,” I assure Hayley as she tosses another outfit to the floor of our dorm.
“I don’t know why I am trying so hard. It isn’t like Liam will care,” she huffs and pulls on a long-sleeved tee.
“Do you want to talk about stuff? What happened at the hotel?”
“Oh, he says that I am a liar and he can’t trust me. Which is fucking hilarious considering he lied about taking Jackie to the abortion clinic. So, I told him maybe he fucked Jackie just like everyone else and he left the room.”
“That sucks. Maybe tonight will be different.”
“I doubt that.” She rolls her eyes and sits cross-legged at the mirror.
Killian went to meet up with Liam and convince him to come because when he spoke to him earlier, he had said he changed his mind and he was no longer going out with us.
I get Liam is hurt but he is taking this too far with how cold he is treating Hayley.
I trade my leggings for jeans and a black v neck top with a pair of leopard print flats. My hair is swept up in a high ponytail. Hayley is wearing her signature braid over her left shoulder that she reserves for lazy days.
Killian knocks on the door, and I look around him for Liam.
“He’s in the car and he’s drunk,” Killian murmurs to me in explanation.
“Great.”
“You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” I turn to Hayley. “You ready?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. You do know this is going to be a disaster, don’t you?”
“It’ll be fun.” I attempt to encourage her but even I don’t believe my fake cheer.
She rolls her eyes but comes along.
“Dude, get in the back. Liri rides up front with me,” Killian scolds his best friend.
“I called shotgun,” Liam slurs.
“It’s fine. Hayley and I will ride in the back to Donali’s, but I will ride shotgun to mini-golf. Problem solved.”
Killian winks at me. Hayley and I climb in the backseat. She appears on the verge of tears again, and I regret coercing her into this. It doesn’t take long to arrive at the pizza place.
Woodrow, Porter, and Ben are in the back booth where we sat last time. His face is bruised, and his lips are still swollen from the beating Liam and Killian gave the jerk. Killian told me how crude he was. Woodrow has lost my respect.
Porter gives Killian a chin lift, and Liam glares at Woodrow.
“No fighting tonight,” I tell him, and he lifts his shoulder with indifference.
“Nothing worth fighting over anyway,” he mutters.
Hayley’s teeth dig into her bottom lip.
“Let’s grab a table on the other side,” Killian suggests, grabbing my hand, and pulling me into him.
Liam is still being an ass. Him and Killian are sitting across from Hayley and me.
We order our soda and a large pizza. We are right next to the pool tables, and I cringe when I catch a glimpse of Hunter and some guy calling dibs on the next game. Killian notices him too.
“I swear he is fucking stalking you or some shit.”
“Let’s just ignore him.” I go to run my foot up his leg but do it to Liam by accident.
“Seriously, Hayley,” he sneers at her.
“What?” She looks at him confused.
My cheeks flame and Killian laughs. “My bad. I was trying to tease Killian.”
“Oh.” He grins.
“Ugh,” Hayley complains. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Want me to go with you?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m fine.”
Once she is out of earshot I jump on Liam. “You could try being a little nicer to her.”
“You have no clue what’s going on between us. I doubt she told you everything.” His gaze darkens and he looks to Killian.
“What then? What don’t I know?”
“Leave it alone, Liri. This is between them,” Killian says sternly like he’s my father and I don’t like it. I feel like there is some other big secret about to pop off like a damn bomb.
Liam laughs. “Yeah. Okay. Then why don’t I fuck Liri and we’ll be even.”
My face pales. “Are you kidding me right n
ow! Killian?” My throat burns.
“I’m not listening to this.” Liam shoves off from the table and leaves.
“I never fucked Hayley. We made out once. I might have grabbed her boob but nothing more than that I swear to you.”
I should leave with Liam. I can’t believe Hayley never told me. When I asked her about Killian, she acted like she hardly knew him, and now I feel like don’t even know her.
“Liri, baby. It was a long time ago. I swear to you.”
“Stop talking, Killian.” I fold my arms over my chest and stare at the wall. He gets up and slides into the booth with me.
“Look at me.”
“No.” I twist further away from him. Tears well up in the corners of my eyes.
“Please.” His voice sounds low and desperate.
I twist around to face him. “Is there anyone at all that you haven’t kissed, fingered, or fucked!” I snap.
The restaurant goes quiet. The server quietly places our food on the table and runs away from us.
“Damn it, Liri. None of that matters. All I care about is you. Can’t that be enough for you?”
“Every single time I think things are okay between us there’s another girl. Another truth bomb. I can’t take it. I hate it.” Tears roll down my cheeks, and Hayley comes back to the table.
“What’s going on?”
“You’re a liar, and I can’t be around you right now. That’s what!” I scowl at her wanting to punch her in the face. I envision myself grabbing her by the hair and giving her a good shake.
“What?”
I laugh. “Don’t play dumb. Liam told me about your little make out session with my boyfriend.”
“Liri, I knew how much you liked him. I thought it was better to keep that to myself. It was in high school.”
“That’s not the point, Hayley. I thought we were friends. I thought we were family. I thought I finally had someone who was like a sister to me, but you’re no different than Jackie.”
“Liri,” Killian starts.
“No. Don’t you defend her right now to me. Just move and let me out of this booth.”
He slides out and grabs my arm. Everyone is watching the scene, but I don’t care. I’m hurt.
“Let go of me,” I warn him.
“Hey, you okay, Liri?” Hunter steps up holding a pool stick.
“No. Can you get me out of here please?”
“Sure.” He puffs his chest out at Killian, but I don’t have the energy in me to care right now.
“Liri, don’t you dare think of taking one step away from me.”
“You don’t own me,” I whisper, and I move to walk away. Killian goes to grab at me, but Hunter shoves him.
Killian throws his hands up, and I rush out on to the sidewalk.
“Where do you want to go?” Hunter questions as I get into his car. I don’t know what I’m doing. I only know I can’t be around Killian or Hayley right now.
“I don’t care. Just anywhere that they aren’t.” I lay my head against the passenger side window and close my eyes as my tears fall.
The car stops in an empty lot. Hunter taps his fingers on the steering wheel. “Do you want to talk about what that was back there?”
“Why? So you can say you told me so?” I scoff. “Oh. My. God. Why am I even in the car with you?” I feel sick at my stomach. I sob and get choked. I cough and snot around, wiping my face on my sleeve. “Why are you being niece to me?”
“Because you need a friend. Listen, you know I like you, but I can see that you’re hurting. It’s just you should know that if you decide to dump that loser, I’ll be waiting to show you how you should be treated.”
Is he for real right now? I had a huge fight in the middle of a pizza place with my best friend and my boyfriend minutes ago. Why is he reminding me that he likes me? I don’t get boys. I don’t think I ever will. “Can you drop me at the dorm, please?”
“Whatever you need. I’m here for you.”
“Thanks, Hunter. You’re a good friend.” I sniffle and he drives me back to campus.
I don’t know why I got in the car with him. I should have gone straight to the dorm and packed a bag to go home for a few days. Maybe that is what I should do.
Hunter wanted to see me to my door, but I told him I could manage on my own. The last thing I need is for Killian to be lurking around and start a fight with him.
When I open the door, Killian is sitting on the couch with his head buried in his hands. He looks up at me, and his eyes are brimmed with tears. The sight of him here waiting for me and as upset as I am has my feet moving toward him.
His arms go around my waist, and I lean into him. In his arms I feel like I’m home. Nothing feels as right as when I’m with him.
“I’m sorry I stormed off. I shouldn’t have gotten in the car with Hunter.”
“No. You shouldn’t have, but I understand why you did. If I thought Liam had been with you it would kill me. I’d want to jump off a bridge. I’m sorry I am always hurting you, baby.”
“I know.” I sigh and bring my mouth down on his tasting the saltiness of his tears. What is it about him that has me running straight into his arms every single time he hurts me? Is love supposed to hurt this much?
“I thought I’d lost you and I haven’t even had you back a day.” He squeezes me tighter, and I can’t hold back my tears. Loving him hurts but not loving him hurts worse.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing, Liri.”
“Where’s Hayley?”
“She caught a ride with Woodrow.”
“Really?”
He shrugs. “It’s none of our business.”
“You’re right.” My stomach growls.
“You’re hungry.”
“I’m fine. As long as I have you, I’m fine,” I promise.
“You can’t stay mad at Hayley. She has enough going on. You’re best friends. She needs you.” Him taking up for her has jealousy flaring inside me, but I try to dial it back. I know he is trying to smooth things over for, me but now isn’t the time.
“I know that, but I can’t be around her right now. I don’t know. I’m thinking maybe I will get an apartment. My stepfather wanted me to, but I thought living in a dorm would be fun.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t want to live with her anymore. If you hadn’t been here, I would have packed a bag and gone home for a few days. I can’t see her right now. I can’t stay here and look at her while knowing that she lied and that you’ve touched her in ways you’ve touched me.” I feel sick simply thinking about seeing them in the same room right now.
“Move in with me,” he says out of nowhere.
“What?” I laugh. “Are you crazy, Killian?”
“I’m serious. I’ve been wanting out of that dreadful frat house.”
“Killian, we barely started dating and you think we should move in together. We can’t go a day without an argument or some crazy drama. It will never work. We will kill each other.”
“I know but if we eliminate the people who cause us drama then…” he trails off and stares up at me with such hope.
“Then we could be happy.” I smile and he kisses me.
“We can make it work, baby. I know we can.”
“You’re crazy. We’re crazy.”
“I’m crazy for you.”
He is. This boy is totally insane for me. I can see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch.
Chapter 34
Liri
“Are we really going to do this?”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No. Absolutely not.” I grip the pen in my hand and sign my name on the line below Killian’s. My mother is going to kill me when she finds out I moved in with a boy. It took us three days to find a place. Hayley and I haven’t really talked. She went home to her mom’s for a few days. Said she needed to clear her head and get some distance from Liam. I guess Woodrow drove her. We have only exchanged a few odd text messages. Things are differ
ent between us right now. I’m not ready to forgive which may seem selfish and mean of me because I forgave Killian, but I guess I expected more from her. He lied to me about Jackie and Hayley lied to me about Killian. I’m still disappointed in him but her betrayal hurts more.
I put down the pen and the realtor smiles.
“Congratulations on your first place together.” He hands Killian the keys and gathers up the paperwork. The door shuts behind him and Killian kisses me.
“You make me happy, Liri.”
“Ditto.” I look around the one-bedroom apartment that doesn’t have a thing in it. The place is bare, but we will fill it up as we start creating new memories here. Together.
I can’t believe we actually went through with this. Talking about it was one thing but we really signed the lease. I’m freaking out on the inside, but I don’t want Killian to think I have any regrets because I don’t.
Killian has a serious look about him. “Can you cook?”
“Erm…yes, can you?” I was afraid he was going to say he changed his mind and run out the door.
“Not even toast.” He laughs. “Can you cook homemade meals?”
“Among other things. I am very talented.”
“Are you going to demonstrate these talents?”
“I might be persuaded to show you one or two of them.” My head falls back as he dances me around the kitchen. He smiles at me and I don’t think I have ever seen Killian this happy. I love this side of him.
“That window right there.” He points to the only window, but I don’t comment on the fact. “It’s the perfect spot for an easel.”
“You going to pose for me.”
“Is clothing optional?” He grins.
“Are we talking full frontal or shirtless?”
“We’ll decide after we figure out what we are going to sleep on.”
“We do need furniture. Good thing I have this.” I grab my black card from my wallet and wave it at him.
Killian frowns. “I don’t want you paying for everything.”
“It’s my money to do with as I please. Don’t fight me on this.”
“Liri, we will split the cost.”
The Story of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 1) Page 18