The Man of My Dreams: A Forbidden Box Set Collection

by S. E. Law

  “See?” I say teasingly while spooning out a heaping bowl of the beef stew. “The crockpot is totally self-contained and perfectly safe. I’ve been listening to you, Dad. Trust me, I’m old enough to manage in the kitchen by myself.”

  My dad sits down at our kitchen table with a rueful smile on his face. His hair is graying at the temples, but he’s still a very handsome man. Tyler has bronzed skin, craggy features and broad shoulders. More than a few of my friends have told me I’m lucky to have Tyler as my dad, and I agree.

  After all, Tyler has been raising me alone since I was about ten. My mom, Allison, walked out because she said she was “through with this crap.” I’m not sure what that means, or why she felt that way. Maybe it was our small town. Maybe it was fact that I was a bratty child who was impossible to control. Or maybe it was the fact that Tyler was never around.

  After all, my dad is a long-haul trucker, so he’s often on the road. It’s a difficult job where you have to enjoy being by yourself because truckers are often alone for sixteen hours a day. They listen to music, sample podcasts, and sometimes just think deep thoughts. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a solitary job. The men adapt from necessity. They pull into rest stops every night, grab a quick shower and meal, and then retire to their cabs for some TV before a night’s sleep.

  But after my mom left, Tyler cut back on his hours so that he could be home with me more. He hired our neighbor, Martha, to watch me after school when he couldn’t be home, and it worked out. I grew up while developing a close relationship with Martha, and I’m proud of my daddy for being so caring and responsible.

  But after I turned sixteen, my dad started going out on the road more. I know why, too. It’s because he wants me to go to college, so he wants to make more money for tuition. I appreciate Tyler’s dedication to my education, but to be frank, I don’t think college is in my future. I’m happy here in our little town, and I’m sure I could get a job working at the café or restaurant downtown. I don’t want to leave my friends or the tight-knit community I’ve come to love.

  “Here Daddy,” I say, pushing the steaming bowl of stew towards him. “It’s got lots of carrots, just the way you like it.”

  My dad swallows a huge mouthful, and a blissful expression crosses his face.

  “Mmm, Sienna, you’re an amazing cook. Where’d you learn to make this?”

  I giggle while sitting down with my own bowl of stew.

  “It’s easy. I googled some recipes on-line and found one that blended meaty chunks of beef with tomatoes, carrots, and a bunch of spices. I knew you’d like it,” I say with a smile before digging into my own meal.

  Tyler merely takes another big spoonful as we eat in peace. The stew is tasty and hot, and I love being with my dad. He’s made a good life for us and worked hard to give me what I have. I adore my father, and we’re on really good terms even though most girls hate their parents at this age. But Tyler is all I have, and I’m happy with my caring daddy.

  In fact, Tyler and I are so close that sometimes we talk about personal things like our dating lives, both his and mine.

  I swallow another big gulp of stew and then pat my mouth daintily with a napkin.

  “So Daddy, are you going to see Layla after this?”

  My dad looks a little startled, but he swallows and then nods.

  “Yeah, I was thinking about heading over there. Would that bother you?”

  I laugh merrily.

  “Of course not, Daddy. Layla is someone we’ve known for years, and I’m glad you guys started dating. She’s really nice and has always been very kind to me.”

  After all, Layla is a big sister of sorts. She was three years ahead of me in high school, and she was the popular girl. Layla has gorgeous honey-colored hair, caramel eyes, and a curvy figure to die for. All the girls were jealous of her, and she dated quite a few football players back in the day.

  But after graduation, she stayed in our little town doing odd jobs. Then, to everyone’s surprise, she started dating my dad. There were some hushed whispers at first because my dad is forty-five, and Layla was only nineteen at the time. But my dad and Layla’s dad have been friends forever because they’re both truckers, and Jock didn’t see anything wrong with it. As a result, Layla moved into her own apartment and my dad started going over there after dinner most nights. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pops the question given that they’ve been dating for almost two years now.

  But I don’t mind because I want Tyler to be happy. He’s a good guy who’s had a tough go of things for the last ten years or so. At first, it was fighting with my mom non-stop because she was so unhappy with her life. Then, there was the divorce, which was frankly a relief after all that conflict. Then, he had to raise me alone as a single dad, and he’s done a good job of it.

  But I turned eighteen last week, and I’m more mature than most girls my age. I understand that adults have a need for companionship, and I want my handsome daddy to enjoy himself. Tyler doesn’t need to stay home to babysit me. He should go out and enjoy his time with Layla.

  “Are you getting Layla flowers?” I ask with a smile. “I don’t think you’ve seen her in a few weeks, right?”

  My dad shakes his head ruefully.

  “I didn’t get a chance to pick up a bouquet,” he says. “I was too intent on getting home to you girls as fast as possible.”

  I let out another giggle and push my chair back, scraping the floor.

  “It’s no problem, Daddy. I got a bouquet for you to give Layla.”

  With that, I disappear into our living room for a moment, and come back with a dozen pink roses in my arms. The flowers are wrapped in pretty pink cellophane with a red ribbon around their stems, with delicate sprays of baby’s breath interspersed throughout. It’s romantic and perfect, if I say so myself.

  My dad’s eyes go wide.

  “Sweetheart, you didn’t have to,” he begins. “You don’t have to take care of me.”

  “No, I wanted to, Daddy,” I say with a smile while handing him the bouquet. “But don’t tell Layla that I bought it. Just let her think that you got it for her.”

  My dad shakes his head, looking at the flowers in his arms.

  “Sienna, what would I do without you?” he muses. “You’re so thoughtful.”

  “I know,” I say cheerily while plunking myself back into my chair and taking another bite of stew. “I love Layla anyways. She’s always so friendly when I run into her in town, and her dad is so nice too. Jock Larson works out at the same gym as you, doesn’t he?”

  My dad goes quiet all of a suddenly, gently placing the bouquet of flowers on the dining room table.

  “He does,” Tyler confirms. “Jock and I have been members of the same gym for ages.”

  I nod again, slurping happily at my stew.

  “It’s great that you guys work out so much,” I say. “Driving a truck is hard on the body, and I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself, Daddy. It would be so easy to eat crap on the road and never exercise, but I know you have your jump rope and your weights. The gym here is a great place too. I think they just installed a new climbing wall, if you’re interested.”

  My dad nods thoughtfully again, although I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

  “We try to keep in shape because sitting for sixteen hours a day is hard on the body. It’s good to keep the blood flowing, and building muscle prevents bone loss too. But has Jock said anything to you lately?” he asks.

  I shake my head and squint.

  “No, not really. Just the usual “hello,” “goodbye,” and “how’s your family doing?” Why, should I be expecting something different? I know you and Layla have been dating for a while now, but he seems okay with it.”

  Tyler nods.

  “Yeah, Jock’s cool with me dating his daughter. But has he said anything to you about uh … well, ever since you turned eighteen?”

  I squint.

  “No, why? What would he say?”

 
My dad pauses for a moment, but then shakes his head.

  “No, never mind. It’s fine.”

  I mock-frown at him.

  “Daddy, what is it? If you’re keeping something from me, I’m going to be angry.”

  My dad sighs and runs his hand through his thick hair again. His blue eyes seem conflicted, which makes me only more curious.

  “Well, Sienna, you know that I’m very open with you.”

  “Of course, Daddy,” I chirp. “We’re best friends.”

  My dad looks a little pained at that.

  “Maybe that’s going a little too far. No father should be best friends with his daughter, but it’s okay. After your mom left, we became close, and I’m glad we have such a good relationship.”

  “Me too,” I murmur. “Why? Is something wrong?”

  My dad sighs again.

  “Well, do you remember that conversation we had the summer you turned twelve and got your period?”

  I stare at him.

  “Daddy, that was ages ago. Why does it matter? What does it have to do with this?”

  He nods.

  “Well, it’s a conversation that I’m proud of because I was the one to teach you about menstruation. How to take care of yourself, how often to change your pads, and even how to use a tampon.”

  My cheeks flare, even after all this time.

  “I remember, Daddy. You pulled up a video on YouTube to show me how it’s done. It was uncomfortable, but it did the job.”

  My dad nods, his handsome face solemn.

  “It was uncomfortable, but I take my responsibilities seriously, honey. And one thing that I’m really proud of is how open we are with one another. Remember? I also talked to you about contraception, dating, and boys.”

  My cheeks go red.

  “Of course I remember, Dad, because we’ve had multiple conversations about that. You even used yourself and Layla as an example.”

  Tyler nods again, his expression still mysterious.

  “I know the conversation was uncomfortable. But yes, my girlfriend and I have sex, and family planning is absolutely something that we discuss. It’s something that I discuss with you as well, Sienna, because I’m treating you as an adult.”

  I swallow, even though this conversation has me confused. What is my dad getting at? What is he trying to say?

  “I know, Dad. I am an adult, and I appreciate the fact that you’re so open with me. We are friends, and you can talk to me like a grown-up. But you don’t have to worry about contraception with me, Daddy, because I’m not seeing anyone. In fact, I’ve never even been with a boy like that, so it’s not an issue.”

  Tyler nods again, his expression still unreadable.

  “I know, honey. That’s why I wanted to seize this opportunity to chat with you.”

  I squint at him, immediately a bit suspicious.

  “About what?”

  He sighs and looks a little uncomfortable himself. There’s a deep flush on his tanned features, and his bronzed fingers tap a bit on the table.

  “Well, sweetheart, you’ve turned eighteen, and I want you to sample the pleasures of the flesh.”

  “The pleasures of the flesh?” I say in a squeaky voice. “What are you talking about?”

  Tyler looks pained again, but this time he gets up and goes to rummage in the closet in his room. When he comes back, he has something in his hands. It’s a small, plain cardboard box, and he sets it on the table.

  “What’s this?” I ask, still a bit suspicious. “Did you buy this while you were on the road?”

  He shakes his head.

  “No, honey. I’ve had it for a while, and wanted to give it to you after you turned eighteen. It’s something that every woman should enjoy.”

  I’m still suspicious, but with trembling fingers, I open the box to reveal what looks like a pink egg inside. I pull it out. It’s ovoid and about two inches in length. It appears to be made of a soft silicone material, and I squeeze it experimentally.

  “This is cool,” I say. “But what is it?”

  My dad nudges the box to me again.

  “You missed part of the gift.”

  I peer inside and reach in to pull out what looks like a remote control.

  “Oh, cool. A remote and an egg. But what does it do? I don’t get it.”

  Tyler looks a little embarrassed, but then he sits up straight and composes himself.

  “It’s a vibrator, sweetheart. You put the egg in yourself, and then use the remote to turn it on. It’s not too big so it should slip in just fine, even for a young girl like yourself.”

  Immediately, my face goes beet red.

  “Oh my god, you got me a vibrator, Dad? I mean, we’re close but we’re not that close.”

  Tyler merely shakes his head.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. I don’t mind because this is part of my job as a father. I want you to be ready for the world because when the time comes, it’ll be easier that way. Your first time will be more enjoyable and feel better if you’re prepped on the inside.”

  Prepped on the inside? I can hardly believe my dad just said those words, but I nod and slap a bright smile on my face.

  “Oh cool, thanks Tyler. I appreciate the gift.”

  But my dad’s not done yet.

  “Sweetheart, there’s one more thing. This is a top of the line, cutting edge egg, so it works through wireless. You actually have to set it up through your laptop first. The manufacturer provided instructions,” he says, reaching into the box to pull out a pamphlet, “and it should be fairly straightforward.”

  I swipe the pamphlet from him and stuff it in my pocket before he can say more.

  “Thanks Dad!” I say brightly. “I love the gift. In fact, I’m going to try it out after you head to Layla’s place.”

  Tyler looks at me hard, but then his shoulders relax.

  “Okay, sweetheart. And again, I’m glad that we’re so close. Conversations like this are difficult, but I want to be the one you come to when you have questions. Got it?”

  “Got it!” I say with another chirpy smile. Quickly, I stuff the gift back into the box and push it to the side of the table. The box looks so conspicuous sitting there, but I smile again and try to appear calm.

  “I love the gift,” I say again. “Totally appreciate it.”

  My dad looks more relaxed now and takes a big bite of bread before dunking it into his stew.

  “I’m glad, honey. I want you to be happy because you’re my best girl. Life gets complicated as you get older, and I just want this to be a prelude to what happens next.”

  I stare at him, my spoon midway to my mouth.

  “Why? What happens next?”

  Tyler looks flustered, but he recovers quickly.

  “Nothing,” he says. “It’s all good, honey. Now that I’ve finished this stew,” he says, sopping up the last of the brown gravy with his bread, “I should get going. Are you going to be okay home alone tonight?”

  He stands at the table, and I rise as well. Tyler heads over to the front door and grabs his jacket off the hook before slipping it onto his broad shoulders.

  “Of course,” I say, leaning into his embrace for a hug. “Everything’s fine, Daddy. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

  I feel like my dad holds me close for a second too long, but maybe it’s just my imagination. When we pull away, there’s a flicker of emotion in his dark blue eyes, but it disappears just as quickly as it appeared.

  “Okay sweetheart,” he says, pulling the door open. “I’m off to Layla’s then. Have a good time with your toy tonight.”

  I stand at the open door and wave as Tyler gets onto his motorcycle.

  “Of course, Daddy! You too!”

  My dad pulls the bike onto the street and then waves one last time before zooming off into the distance. I watch as his massive form grows small and then shut the door with a deep breath.

  That was definitely a strange conversation. Yes, Tyler and I are close, but that was
a weird conversation even for us. I basically said goodbye to him as he left to hook-up with his girlfriend, whereas he just gave me a vibrator as a gift. It’s not even my birthday! And why would he give me something like this anyways?

  But I know my dad has always taken fatherhood seriously, and this is just the latest incarnation of his efforts. He wants to do a good job, and he wants to protect me while also introducing me to the world. I get it. Tyler has to play the role of mom and dad at once, and it’s not an easy load to bear.

  But now, I’m all alone in our house, and my eyes swing involuntarily to the brown box still lying on the kitchen table. Do I really want to try it? Why not? It could be fun, and just the thing to help me relax after that bizarre interaction.

  49

  Sienna

  Slowly, I make my way up the stairs before letting myself into my bedroom. I haven’t re-decorated much since childhood, so I still have my pink ruffled bedspread on a white wicker twin frame. There are pictures of ponies on the walls because I used to be really into horses. There are also a couple blue ribbons from when I used to play soccer, although these days, I don’t get much exercise.

  It’s not that I hate exercise. It’s just that as a curvy girl, a lot of sports are awkward. I tried to do yoga when the craze began, but it was difficult because the yoga studio was really crowded, and everyone had only a two by three foot space to stretch in. With my generous assets, I felt like I was constantly intruding into the space of the women next to me.

  Running was difficult too. My boobs, my thighs, and my bottom bounce with every step I take. I tried wearing two control-top bras at once paired with the heaviest, sturdiest Spanx running shorts I could find, but it was no use. I’m just too large, and it felt like my curves were flying out of control even though I was doing nothing more than a slow jog.

  I know there are other sports I could try: rock-climbing, skiing, and ice-skating have been suggested to me. But how would that work? I’d be a ball rolling down the slopes, or a huge slug trying to climb two feet off the ground. It would be embarrassing, and I’m too ashamed to try.