The Woman Who Kept Everything

by Jane Gilley

  ‘Near after you moved in, proper. Couple of months. It’s a while back, now. Did youse have a row or summat?’

  Gloria tutted. ‘Nah. We’ve never been the rowin’ sort. I might raise me voice sometimes but I never row, ducks. But, you see, I did ask him to move in with me, again. Like before, if he wanted, for a roof over his head. He never gave me an answer though.’

  ‘Yes he did tell us,’ Jocelyn admitted. ‘And – despite our differences, Glor – I did think it was a good idea. Think he expected me to invite him to stay but it’s difficult with Marvin and me now. Not that I wouldn’t invite him but it’s just a bit awkward.’

  ‘Yeh it is, Joss. He says it doesn’t suit him dossin’ about all the time now. But I’ve no idea what he intends to do now the social won’t help him.’

  ‘I’m not sure either, love. Anyways, I’ve got to be off. Goin’ to the pictures tonight with Marvin. Ain’t done that in years, love. But pleased you’re gettin’ on with Val a bit more now. It’ll ease things between ya. Ta-ra, love.’

  Gloria put the phone down.

  She was worried about Tilsbury. If she sat and thought about it, she didn’t really know him now. Perhaps she never had. She didn’t know what he got up to when they weren’t together and Jocelyn admitted she was equally in the dark about that. He’d never been one for hobbies when they’d been younger. He’d lived and worked and gone out around Norwich all his life, apart from that stint after they split up when they’d been sweethearts. But he’d never been one for wanting to travel much or explore, after he came back from India with his dad and siblings. He was a loner and quite happy to be independent and self-sufficient, and if that included living rough, so be it.

  Gloria made a decision.

  She knew Jocelyn said she was thinking of calling the police but she was on her way out, now, with Marvin. Sadly everyone was getting on with their lives without much concern for Tilsbury. He’d always been flitting around, in the background, somewhere. But now, even though he’d not been seen for about eight weeks, no one seemed especially concerned.

  Yet that man had set her on the road to self-discovery this year. Her life had completely changed because of one selfless act from him – a simple trip out for afternoon tea.

  So Gloria knew she had to help him somehow. Okay, but where to begin?

  She started by ringing the police. They said no one had been found or was in their cells by his name. Did she have a recent photo? Nobody had a photo of Tilsbury. She wasn’t even sure there was one in existence!

  Then she tried the local hospitals. What if he’d been run over by a car or been in a fight that wasn’t of his doing? Or what if – saints preserve us – he’d just dropped down dead, somewhere? Again, the hospital staff confirmed there was no one in their care of that name.

  Next she tried Shelter and even though they knew of him they said they hadn’t seen him in a while. So she tried social services and was put through to a good many departments before someone mentioned that an elderly chap, of that name, had been to see them, recently, about being housed.

  ‘Yes and you didn’t want to house him did you?’ Gloria suddenly snapped, surprising herself.

  ‘Look, it’s not that we don’t want to house people but he does have an address, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Well, yes and no! That’s his ex-wife’s address. But he hasn’t lived there in twenty-some-odd years, ducks! He just uses that address for letters and his pension. He’s been dossin’ around for all the time since he’s left her, in parks and under bridges and the like! It ain’t right. And you lot can’t be arsed wantin’ to help him.’

  ‘No, you’ve got it wrong. We do help people in need. It’s just that we haven’t got homes for everyone and we do have to prioritise. But we’ve put him on a list and –’

  ‘Yes but he’ll be dead by the time that list comes round! He’s over eighty, ducks!’

  Gloria slammed the phone down, annoyed. But she’d discovered the last time he’d been in there was when they put him on that list; just before her party, two months ago.

  So that was that then. Who else was there she could ring? There were no other services she could call and he didn’t really have any other close friends that she or Jocelyn were aware of.

  Think, Gloria!

  Aha!

  Why yes, of course! There was one other person who’d probably know …

  Chapter 40

  Lying on her chaise longue in the cool conservatory, fronds of ferns and ivy hanging down, Lily did not rush to pick up the phone. Everything hurt these days, so it didn’t help matters to rush.

  ‘Why, Gloria! How lovely to hear from you!’ said Lily, as her hand finally snicked the receiver from its cradle, on its last ring.

  Gloria hadn’t spoken to Tilsbury’s famous sister in years but she was so concerned about him, she came straight to the point.

  ‘Well, hello, love. Look I’d love to talk to ya but I’m worried about Tilsbury. No one’s heard from him or seen him since my party. I don’t suppose you’ve seen him recently have you, ducks?’

  ‘Ha, ha! But you know what my brother’s like, Gloria. Not a man of many words, opting in and out of life when he chooses, I’ll give you that. But he has brought me up to date with all your exploits and he did tell me you’d offered him a roof over his head at your new place. I said he should accept. After all, he’s not got a home to speak of has he?’

  ‘No he ain’t, ducks. He does have his name on a list with the social though. So at least he’s done summat about things.’

  ‘Yes I’m pleased he finally decided to do something about that. It’s long overdue, of course, him bouncin’ around from pillar to post all his ruddy life. Well, okay, to put your mind at rest, I can let you know he’s out and about, Gloria. He told me he needed some space to sort his life out. Anybody’d think he was a youngster taking a gap year out, the way he was talking, instead of a silly old fogey! But, well, I think he was a little disillusioned with the outcome at the social. So, anyway, he came and stayed with me for a week and then off he went to Scotland.’

  ‘Scotland? But he reckons he doesn’t like travellin’.’

  Lily laughed, shrilly.

  ‘Not any more, he doesn’t. Granted! But he said it was one place he’d always wanted to go to but never got round to visiting. I think he’s got an old mate up there, he hasn’t seen for years. But he says you inspired him with all your adventures and so he said before he drops down dead in some obscure place, he wanted to follow that one dream. He asked me if I’d pay for it and I told him it would be my lifelong Christmas gift to him. We’ve never been ones for exchanging gifts of any kind. But um I’ve got breast cancer, you see, and er not really long to go now, so I told him to go enjoy himself, life being short.’

  ‘Oh, dear Lord, Lily, I’m so sorry to hear that, love.’

  ‘Oh don’t worry, Gloria. We all have our crosses to bear. But I’ve had a fabulous life. Father was clever enough to make a good living from the railroads in India, as you know. So when he returned to Blighty he was a very wealthy man. I know I didn’t do so much to speak of, apart from those six years as arts director for that fashion house in London –’

  ‘Oh but you were fabulous, Lily! And in all the local and national papers. You won awards. We all thought you were great.’

  ‘Ha, ha. Well, thank you! Yes, Gloria, I did have some fun, didn’t I? And my “giving back” thing, of course, was that voluntary stint I did for a year in Kenya, helping out with that government programme where they constructed new schools, after I met my Brian. You’d have laughed seein’ me on roofs holding the joists, while Brian hammered the nails in. Imagine! And toileting in holes in the ground. My goodness! Not like me at all, is it, that, Gloria! Ah well. But I didn’t want people to think I was just born into a life of luxury. We weren’t well-off when Mum died, until Father did his India stint anyway, were we? Oh, just a minute Gloria.’ Lily broke off to have a few sips of water.

  Gloria knew Lily
had been housebound for a while but hadn’t known the reason for that and Tilsbury hadn’t told her either. She supposed that Lily had few people to chat to or confide in these days – just like Tilsbury – but Gloria was happy that Lily felt the need to offload to her. They’d not talked in a long time. And anyway, Gloria knew that Tilsbury was safe and okay now.

  ‘Go on, Lily,’ she encouraged.

  ‘Yes, of course Gloria. Oh – er, what was I saying? Oh yes, I was going to say that Tilsbury, Marvin and I had a great time in India with our father. School there was a bit crap until we were home-schooled. But he took us everywhere. He showed us the good and the ugly of that country, as well as places like Delhi and the Taj Mahal. It was an amazing experience and, of course, it influenced some of what I did in London, as you know. However, it unsettled Tilsbury when we got back. He was the talk of his clique for a while. But when they all went off to college or got jobs he thought it was okay to just bum around, doing a bit of bar work and the like.’

  ‘Aye, it caused some trouble, it did,’ Gloria admitted, thinking about that time.

  ‘It’s a shame though, Gloria, ’cos even though Tilsbury took after Father with a good brain in his head, he basically pissed his inheritance up the wall, as they say. Now, if memory serves me, he got a job as time-served carpenter for about six years when he was with Jocelyn, didn’t he? He had terrific prospects with the company he worked for. But when they split up he lost it big time. And it cost him his job too, didn’t it, clowning about and fallin’ off that ladder, as you know. And then, of course, his back was bad for a while. But what did he do afterwards? Well, he didn’t go get another job did he! Nope. It was back to bumming around, again, which lost him some cracking opportunities.’

  Lily paused with a sigh. ‘You know, I do love him, Gloria, but he could’ve made so much more out of his life. At least our Marvin had regular work driving taxis, back in the day. Anyway, enough of my senile rambling. It just gets to me sometimes, that’s all. And that’s why I think he should take you up on your very kind offer, Gloria. Well, I’m eighty-four and have outlived most of my friends and done everything I wanted to do in life. Can’t ask for much more than that, can you?’

  ‘No you can’t, love. Well, it was nice to catch up with you, after all this time. And be sure to tell Tilsbury we’re all missing him, when you see him next. I’m pleased he’s all right and enjoyin’ himself and best regards to you too, Lily. If you ever want to talk about owt just pick up the phone, love. I’m in every night.’

  ‘Why thank you, Gloria. I might just do that one night. Love and kisses. Bye, bye!’

  Chapter 41

  The central heating in her new flat, now it was December, was a joy. There was always hot water on tap, as well as the fact she had a bath with a shower over the top, so she actually had a choice as to how she could bathe! Hee, hee, such luxury! And she could afford to eat whatever she wanted, although she’d never been one for expensive tastes. She had her weekly shop delivered now, too. Val had helped her set that up with one of the stores. So she really had nothing else to worry about.

  But the fact that Tilsbury had chosen not to visit or ring Gloria since her eightieth birthday party niggled her. And even though she now knew where he was she would have to wait until he contacted her. They’d always chatted about all and sundry in the past. It seemed strange to think he didn’t want to discuss whatever was going on with him now. Oh well. Gloria knew she’d just have to be patient, even though she did wonder if things were really okay with him.

  Aside from missing Tilsbury, she secretly thought she’d have given up everything just for one of those half-hour visits she used to get from her bolshie son, when she lived in her old house with all her hoardings. Gloria felt she’d come a long way since that time. And yet Clegg hadn’t seemed to want to reconnect with her, at all, despite all the changes she’d made and despite evidence of her new clutter-free flat. She was still his mum, after all. Didn’t that mean something to him?

  Of course, she never said anything to Val or the kids. She had wondered, though, if Clegg, in a moment of revulsion at the way he’d treated her, would suddenly ring her, all apologetic. She also wondered how quickly she’d take him back into her arms, if that was the case. It saddened her to think that they hadn’t hugged or exchanged any form of affection in years.

  Val had told Gloria his moods seemed to be getting worse and he was even snapping at all of them, at home, as well now. So Gloria didn’t truly believe he was going to change for the better, any time soon. Ah well, she could but live in hope.

  Anyway Christmas was a mere six days away and she’d soon be doing her stint at the Soup Kitchen in Norwich. She’d been down to meet the other helpers, the week previously, care of Val.

  ‘Now I just want to be sure you’re totally certain you want to do this, Gloria. There’s all sorts of people go there; some very nice, I might add, but some who just want to cause trouble. Might be a bit much for you is all I’m sayin’.’

  ‘I appreciate your concern, Val, love. But I’m goin’ to give it a go. I want to do summat different this year. Don’t want to gorge on food when there’s them around me that can’t. You see, Tilsbury’s had need of their services from time to time and said how many sad cases there were over there. So I’d like to do my bit.’

  ‘Well, as long as you know what you’re doing. Clegg says it’s disgusting, people expecting hand-outs. But we all know how narrow-minded he is!’ she’d said with a sad smile.

  ‘Well, thanks for bringing me over, anyway, love,’ said Gloria. ‘I shouldn’t be too long, if you can wait. It’s very kind of you.’

  She was surprised at how friendly and comfortable the shelter was that she was asked to visit. It was their head office but it was also somewhere people could call into, to get a few hours off the streets or to talk to someone in a friendly environment, as well as get a bed for the night, if they were in dire need.

  ‘Trouble is, no one knows what dish life is about to deal,’ said Mark, currently in charge of the volunteers. ‘You never know just how much crap you can bear until life serves it to you. And the people we see and house or feed, here, are from all walks of life. There are people with kids trying to juggle life below the living wage, or they’re physically challenged or suffer from mental illness or are otherwise very vulnerable. There are even people who once had everything and suddenly lost their job and everything else with it. We can offer advice or blankets to people if they intend to continue living rough. Or we can offer a shower or room for the night or longer if they wish to commit to trying to sort their lives out.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. It’s a callin’ offering that sort of help, ducks. I know that. I’ve got a mate who’s been to you a few times and that’s why I want to help over the Christmas period. I know I’m a bit past it, love. But I still want to help. I’ve got some good thermals and the like now. I haven’t always had a good life, myself, you see and it’s only recently I’ve been helped by some lovely people. So I know I want to do this,’ Gloria explained. ‘Must say, though, it’s lovely and homely here, too.’

  Mark grinned back. ‘That’s very kind, Gloria. Yes, we like to be thought of as approachable. A lot of those we help have had rough beginnings so every bit of friendship and warmth helps them to open up and feel that they’re cared for and not wasting anyone’s time.’

  ‘Right. So, if you’re happy, I’ll see you for the three days 24th, 25th and 26th then.’

  Mark shook Gloria’s hand.

  ‘Only if it’s not too much for you and if it is let me know. Here’s my card. But do not feel you have to do the whole three days. Any help you can give us will be very appreciated by all the other helpers and the homeless people themselves, as you’ll see on the day. And we also wear one of these yellow bands, diagonally, across our chests so the clients can see who we are. So this one is for you.’

  Gloria proudly took the yellow band.

  Val and Adam and Jessie all turned up to drop Glor
ia off on the 24th of December outside the premises for the homeless. But to Gloria’s surprise, Val went to park the car and then returned with her children to help Gloria on her first night at the Soup Kitchen.

  ‘You didn’t have to do this!’ Gloria said to Val.

  ‘Actually Adam and Jessie said they wanted to help you on your first night and I thought: What the hell. So I’m here too!’

  Gloria was touched and proud of her family wanting to share this experience with her. She wiped a tear away, with her sleeve. What a shame, though, that Clegg couldn’t commit to being a better, more loving family member.

  Chapter 42

  The first night had been splendid, flanked by her grandchildren and Val, helping her and the other volunteers serve soup to the homeless. Jessie and Adam had brought along sparkly garlands for the other volunteers to wear around their necks, like a scarf. And Val had baked a stack of mince pies to give to everybody, volunteers as well as the homeless people. They’d softly sung Christmas carols, encouraging everyone to join in, and had a natter and a laugh and joke with everyone they came into contact with.

  Val recognised a man who often turned up at A&E after a fight or three. And Gloria even met another old lady who’d had problems with hoarding, in her past, but was now getting help from an organisation recently set up by a local hospital that recognised the detrimental effects similar age-related problems had on society’s elderly.

  ‘I used to be quite agoraphobic. But I’m here with that woman over there. The one there, in the blue coat. It’s taken a while and I’m okay if I come out, with her, at night. The world doesn’t seem so big and scary at night. But she started the ball rolling for me when my daughter got her to come round and have a chat with me. I’d refused all help before that, you see. Silly of me, I see that now. But at the time I didn’t see what I was doing. Anyway, she’s helping me to start sorting things out at the moment. It’s slow going. I think we’ll get there. Least she helped me understand why I was doing it. I used to be so lonely.’