Saints and Sinners

by Karen V. Wasylowski

  “We could have easily lost him, Jamie. How could he survive in that cold water, how did he save that little girl?”

  “You’re daft, lassie. My brother Alex was always strong as an ox and a grand swimmer, one leg or two. As for the cold water, we’re Scots! Our bath water is colder than that. Now stop your weeping and wipe your nose. They’ll all survive. That’s what counts.” He retrieved his handkerchief from his coat pocket and handed it to her.

  “You’re right, I know.” She blew her nose enthusiastically then mopped away her tears.

  “Ach. Well, don’t you dare try and give that back to me now,” he grumbled, making her laugh – and cry – even more.

  There was a knock at the door and Anne Marie entered the room.

  “Are they asleep?”

  “Yes,” came the whispered answer from both Jamie and Bridget.

  “Well, that is a mercy with all the traffic in and out of this room today.”

  “Are the children in bed?”

  “Yes, finally. I am exhausted. Roberta was the first to try my patience, as always. She wanted to come in here and sleep on the floor in case Ewan needed anything during the night. Then Deborah began to cry because she feared the floorboards were going to crack and give way, and then Steven insisted he’d like to become an ice pond attendant in the future, thought it all looked very exciting. When I told him that would be over my dead body, he actually appeared to mull it over.”

  “Where was Nanny Bochs during all this?”

  “Yes, about Nanny Bochs. I have some good news and some bad news for you.”

  “Shall we start with the good?”

  “I have eliminated a household expense.”

  “Good heavens, what have you done?”

  “Don’t you give me that look, James. The physicians began questioning her about her procedures with regards to the care of the children, their health in general. It was quite eye-opening. Apparently, Bochs dislikes being questioned and simply left.” Anne Marie stared everywhere but at Jamie.

  “No. No. You see, I’ve lived with you too long. She didn’t just walk off, did she, Anne Marie?”

  “Well, she certainly did after I shoved her out the door.”

  “You sacked her.”

  “With the bottom of my boot, yes. Jamie, the woman believes in giving the children Opium Treatment for a bad chest; in fact, I suspect she’s used that vile concoction to keep them quiet at times. And, since Uncle Fitz’s friend, Sir Giles, has serious concerns about the use of Opium for adults, let alone children, he pointedly expressed his opinion to her. Well, the woman flew into a terrible rage, began assaulting that most distinguished of physicians! And, you should have heard her – for a moment I believed she was speaking in tongues! The look on Sir Giles face! Actually, it was very funny… never mind about that. Where was I – oh, yes, I almost went searching for one of your firearms to save him.”

  “It is fortunate then that I hide them. No, you did exactly the right thing, pet. However, this is becoming ridiculous; that was our fifth nanny since… well, since you left us, Bridget. You set a very high standard, you know.”

  “I am so sorry for all of this.”

  “Nothing is your fault, Bridget. In fact, the doctors had a very good idea. They suggested a nanny with medical training might be best, and I agree. Mr. Stevens even said he would look into it for us and perhaps he can recommend a woman. Now, tell us what happened today. How did you manage?” Anne Marie sat beside Bridget while Jamie brought over another chair for himself. “How are you doing, my dear?”

  “Much better than this morning. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

  “We should never have left you three off at the park with no way of returning, but we really did think we’d be back in time. The Admiralty assured us our report would only take a few minutes and it ended up lasting nearly two hours. I don’t understand why you weren’t cared for by our families. You were with them when we left, did you become separated?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid I did.” Bridget studied the handkerchief she twisted in her lap, feeling guilty as sin. “I don’t know what happened, I just could not find them in the upheaval.”

  “And, however did you manage to return in Lady Linton’s carriage of all things? I heard they were in Paris.”

  “Well, I was standing beside the bench where they had lain Alex, holding Ewan in my arms and watching the madness going on by the ice, when a woman I’d never seen before approached me, several servants in tow. Before I knew what was happening, she had secured enough blankets for Ewan and Alex, had someone start a small fire for heat, and then commandeered the carriage for our use. I shall never be able to thank her enough.”

  “Amazing. And you had never seen her before?” said Jamie. “I wonder who she was.”

  Bridget lowered her head. “As I said, I’d never met her before.”

  In the darkness later that night, Bridget watched the new snow sparkle in the moonlight outside her window. She remembered Matthew’s tears as they sat on the bench early that fateful day, his heat and kisses and caressing hands… if he had asked her then to run away with him would she have gone, leaving her family and home? She hoped not, she prayed she had become stronger than that over the years.

  Strange how such romantic desire felt insignificant compared to the moment she’d seen her husband carried from the chaotic, terrifying crowd. With her son wrapped in a thin blanket in her arms, she ran to them, screaming Alex’s name.

  “Is this ‘un yours?”

  “Yes! Yes! Oh, Alex! Is he all right? What happened?”

  “What ‘appened indeed! One leg and ‘e saved a young girl’s life is all. Now, where can we lay ‘im down? We’ve other’s in need of assistance.”

  Bridget motioned to a nearby bench pulling off her cloak to cover her husband. When the men turned to leave she panicked. “No, please! Could you start a fire for us, so I can warm him and the child? Please.”

  “Oy, miss, we don’t got the time.” The men motioned over two very young, very frightened looking stewards of the skating club standing nearby. “You there, come ‘ere this, ‘elp this woman, least ye can do after this fiasco. Build a small fire to warm ‘em ‘til authorities come round.”

  “Oh, thank you, thank you…” But before Bridget could ask assistance from them in locating the families both men were gone, and when she turned back to instruct the young boys, they ran off as well.

  Not knowing what to do next she called out for help, frantically attempted to stop passing strangers – but no one helped, no one stopped, she was just one of so many desperate people. With panic threatening to overwhelm she pushed it back for her son’s sake, searched the blur of faces for someone she knew, one of the Darcy’s, or a Fitzwilliam – but none were around… she’d need to begin searching them out, yet how could she leave her husband alone? Her boy shivered violently in her arms, closed his eyes, and seemed to drift away.

  “No! Ewan,” she begged. “Ewan, wake up for Mama, please, son, please!”

  That was when she saw the woman walking directly towards her through the crowd, a tall, serene beauty, the turmoil surrounding her seeming to part like the Red Sea as she passed through. Regal, elegant, beautiful – and, even though a stranger, familiar somehow.

  The woman stopped before her; looked her up and down. “Are you mad?”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Is this your husband? You must remove him to your lodgings immediately! His clothing is ice cold and wet, and why isn’t there a fire to warm him? It will be no one’s fault but your own if he develops a lung fever!”

  Bridget wanted to burst into tears but kept her voice level, resting Ewan on her hip. “I do realize that, madam; however, I have no carriage here, and I cannot find my people and I dare not leave my husband’s side. If you could help us, please. I am most desperate –”

  The woman raised her hand for silence. “Isaiah 25:4 declares, ‘For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defe
nse for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat.” She turned her head slightly to summon one of the servants following her. “Peters, you have the blankets I instructed you collect for the family?

  Good. Leave them there and help Deavers remove this man’s clothing, then assist her with the child. We shall wrap those blankets around them both. Branson, start a fire immediately, then search out more blankets for our own use.

  “Amos.”

  Another servant stepped forward. “Yes, your ladyship.”

  “You shall go across the way and instruct Lady Linton’s driver to bring her carriage around as quickly as possible.” She turned to Bridget. “Since she’s currently in Paris, I can assure you she’ll not mind my procuring it’s use. In fact, I shall explain to her how very much she didn’t mind when I see her next.”

  Amos was still standing before her when she turned back to him. “Well? Why are you still here? Hurry on, you fool! Her home is that hideous white monstrosity across the way. No, not that monstrosity, the other one. When you return with the driver both you and he shall carry this gentleman to her carriage and transport him to the lodgings of Mr. James Durand. Amos! Where are you going? Whatever is the matter with you, I haven’t finished. Tell the coachman to make certain there are hot bricks in the carriage and brandy.”

  “Thank you.” Bridget’s voice choked. “You are so very kind, madam. A saint!”

  “I am hardly a saint, and any kindness you perceive in me irrelevant. I perform my Christian duty.”

  “Yes, madam. Of course.”

  “Give Peters those wet clothes. I shall have them cleaned and returned to you.”

  “Yes, madam.” Bridget handed over Ewan’s clothes and then wrapped the boy in the thick blankets, rubbing his arms and legs and back to warm him faster. It took a moment before she realized the woman was staring at them strangely.

  Intently.

  Grateful as she was, it was beginning to make her very nervous.

  The woman finally spoke. “This is the boy.”

  “Yes. My son.” Bridget kissed Ewan’s forehead. “We nearly lost him today and he is still so cold. I cannot thank you enough for all of your assistance.” She babbled on, hugging her son to her heart. “He kept falling asleep, and he never complains about anything really, and he… he’s my only child.”

  The woman came closer, never taking her eyes from Ewan. “I had heard he looked very much like his father.” Her frown was gone now, her voice sounding almost tender. “Such a lovely child.”

  “Do you know my husband, Sir Alex Durand?”

  The woman stiffened, looked up slowly. Gone was the tender smile, the gentle words. She hesitated a moment then began to back away. “Yes, I am aware of your husband.” Cold dislike had replaced the tender looks. “However, I was referring to the boy’s father.”

  Bridget looked at the woman closely, shocked. Of course. She had seen sketches of Lady Clarissa Fitzwilliam in the society pages over the years, knew she was one of the most prominent and important fixtures of the British society. Elegant, poised, and still incredibly beautiful, even at forty years. She could see why Matthew had been dazzled by her in their youth. “Lady Fitzwilliam, please forgive me, I did not recognize you.”

  “It is of no consequence.”

  “Please, I know you have every right to hate me for asking you this; but, I’ve… I’ve been so worried about him. I must know…” Bridget had seen Matthew jump into the water as she ran from the breaking ice, Ewan in her arms. She had no right to ask this of his wife, it was bold and sinful. She didn’t care, she had to know.

  Even as Clarissa’s eyes sparked she sounded calm. “Both my husband and my daughter are well. How kind of you to inquire. However, they too will be carefully watched to ensure a lung fever does not develop.”

  “Thank you for telling me.” Bridget felt buffeted by waves of bitterness radiating from the woman, and with good cause. It was true she could never make amends to Matthew’s wife for what they had done. God forgive her, it was also true she would never regret their sin either, and she could live with that. “We have both nearly lost a child today, I fear.”

  “Indeed.” Clarissa arched her brow. “And a husband.”

  With that Lady Clarissa Fitzwilliam turned and strode regally back into the chaos, shouting demands and issuing instructions in her wake.

  Chapter 30

  It had been more than two weeks since the disaster at the iced lake and Matthew was finally allowing himself an end to worry over his daughter’s health. Amazingly, few skaters or onlookers that day had been seriously hurt, and Amanda was laughing again, even eager to return there with her cousin Roberta and the others. For once, however, her parents were in complete agreement – there would be no skating this winter, or until more regulation and oversite was provided for the park’s skaters.

  As for his hatred of all things Alex Durand, that had certainly been put to rest. What could he possibly say to the fellow to convey the enormity of a father’s gratitude? Matthew had spent years detesting Durand for seducing the woman he loved; and, even when he had learned the truth, he’d fought against it, as if he was determined to hate no matter what.

  Now he wanted nothing more than to sacrifice his own life in service to the man. He owed him everything. After all, Alex Durand had saved both his children – Amanda from an icy death, and Ewan from the stigma of being born bastard.

  “Papa, you’re squeezing my hand again.”

  “Pardon? Oh, I’m sorry, dearest.” It was the middle of February, father and child in the family carriage on the way to personally thank his daughter’s rescuer and beg forgiveness for Matthew’s years of senseless acrimony. It was a sunny day, another tease of early Spring thaw.

  “I don’t really mind, Papa. I know when you have that sad look in your eyes you’re thinking of the accident. I wish you could forget what happened. I’m all right, really I am.”

  He hugged her to him and kissed the top of her bonnet. “Of course you are, my darling, I just love you so very much. When I think of what could have been, it takes my breath away. You’ll understand better when you have children of your own. There is nothing a father wouldn’t do for his child, no sacrifice too great.”

  “Does that mean I can have another puppy?”

  “Certainly not. Ah, here we are. Watch your step, dearest.”

  The door was opened by the ancient Durand butler, Timmons, summoned to London from Edinburgh years before, when Jamie and Anne Marie newly married. “A pleasant day to ye, Lord Fitzwilliam, Lady Amanda. Grand to see ye agin; however, Master Jamie and his wife are not in, and I canna say when they’ll return. Y’see, they’ve gone to visit the Service Registries Office.”

  “You are not being replaced I hope.”

  “Oh nay, sir, but it’s that kind of ye to be concerned. No, we’ve need of a new nanny for the wee bairns.”

  “Good heavens, yet another one escaped bondage? Nanny, I mean – not the children.”

  “Aye, sir. And, the ‘Situations Vacant’ items we’ve placed havna been fruitful.”

  “Word must be out you’re skimping on the wages, increasing the floggings.”

  “Nay, wages are twenty pounds per annum – a verra grand sum t’be sure. And, we do offer the daily portion o’beer.”

  “I was being facetious, Timmons.”

  “Couldna tell b’me, sir. Ye know, we have a sayin’ in Edinburgh. ‘a nod’s as guid as a wink tae a blind horse’.”

  “What does that mean exactly?”’

  “I havna a clue. As I was sayin’ laird’s bein’ more selective now; usin’ a more rigorous criterion as it were for the hirin’.”

  “No longer accepting penal colony returnees then?”

  “Should I be laughin’ agin, sir?”

  “Not if you need to ask.”

  “Verra good.”

  “Well, I would love to stand and chin wag with you all day, Timmons: however, our desire today is to s
ee Sir Alex. Is he accepting visitors?”

  “Aye, I’m certain he shall for you and the wee lass, sir. But, if you will wait in the drawin’ room I shall go upstairs and ask.”

  “Thank you.”

  Matthew and Amanda heard the thunder of running feet only moments before the door to the drawing room burst open and Roberta, Steven and Deborah came screaming into the room, followed closely by a laughing Ewan Durand pulling his mother along by her hand. The happy chatter and squeals of the children helped the two adults avoid eye contact – for a while.

  Amanda cheered at the sight of Ewan and hugged him. “You look wonderful, Ewan. All recovered?”

  “Stronger than ever. Look at my arm muscle here… well, it was there yesterday. You look splendid too. How are you feeling?”

  “Very well. I do want to skate again, but….”

  “Amanda.” Her father’s steady gaze quieted her.

  “We can speak about it later,” whispered Roberta and the three giggled.

  While holding her hand Ewan urged his mother forward, then took hold of Matthew’s hand. “Mummy, you know it was Lord Fitzwilliam who saved Papa from the water. We must thank him properly.”

  “Of course we shall, Ewan.” Finally, she looked up into the eyes of the man she loved more than life itself. “Thank you, Lord Fitzwilliam. My life would be nothing without my husband or my child. Thank you.”

  “It was my honor, Lady Durand. However, it is your husband who is the true hero. I would have no reason to live if anything happened to this one. He saved my most precious gift.” He stroked his daughter’s hair then looked deep into Bridget’s eyes. “You see, I know what you must be feeling.” They stood in silence for a moment, lost in their shared memories, when Ewan stepped forward and hugged Matthew, surprising everyone.

  “Thank you, sir. I was so afraid to lose my Papa.”

  Matthew was frozen for a moment, stunned, his heart breaking, realizing this might be the only time for the rest of his life that he could hold this son. He wrapped his arms around the boy tightly and kissed his head, his eyes misting over. “Do not ever forget, Ewan, I would do anything for you or your father, my boy. Anything,” he whispered hoarsely.