Roughneck: A Payne Brothers Romance

by Frost, Sosie

  An apology would have been nice, but I couldn’t scrape any words out of my raw throat that might’ve forgiven nearly thirty years of bullshit and problems.

  I shrugged at her. “Found a reason to stay.”

  Cassi nodded. “For good?”

  “Got nowhere else to be.”

  She looked away.

  “Got nowhere else I wanna be,” I said.

  A hint of a smile traced her lips. Pity I couldn’t stay and watch it blossom into a grin.

  I pushed the kid towards the door. “We’ve gotta go. We’re late.”

  “Late to what?” Spencer asked.

  God help me. “The Brawl-B-Que.”

  “We’re going? Why?”

  Because I was a bastard in love who had a heart to mend and meat to smoke.

  “I gotta apologize to Honey,” I said. “Means we’re gonna need to win the competition for her.”

  The kid whooped in joy. He raced to the truck, diving into the passenger seat only to blow the horn a half-dozen times, wake up baby Max, and leave Cassi with a headache and a half to deal with.

  I gave my little sister a hug. Wasn’t sure what to say.

  She spoke for me.

  “I love you, Tidus.” She kissed my cheek and pushed me towards the door. “But I’m not letting you in this house again without Honey. No arguments. That woman is good for you.”

  No.

  She was perfect.

  I headed to the truck, kicking Spencer out of the driver’s seat.

  “Come on.” He drummed on the dashboard. “We’ve gotta get to Honey. The contest starts in two hours, and you’re late.”

  “Sorry.” I threw the truck in gear. “Wasn’t sure what I was thinking, Spence.”

  “You weren’t.”

  “I know.”

  “But I knew you’d come back.”

  That surprised me. “You did?”

  “Yeah. You’re a lot of things, Uncle Tidus, but you’re still a good guy.”

  I stared only at the road. “You really think so?”

  “Yep.” Spencer nodded. “Maybe we gotta work a little harder at it, but we can both be good guys. As long as you got me, and I got you, I think we’re gonna stay that way.”

  The little shit harbored an optimism I still didn’t understand. I patted his shoulder. “Gonna keep me in line?”

  “If I don’t, Honey sure as shit will.”

  I smirked. “Watch your mouth.”

  Spencer shrugged. “We might be good guys, but can’t we swear just a little?”

  After what I’d put the kid through? Sounded like a good deal.

  “Not around the ladies,” I said.

  Spencer rolled his eyes. “But ladies are everywhere. And Honey is always gonna be with you.”

  “Don’t know about that, Spence. I got a lot of apologizing to do.”

  “Well…” He shrugged. “Like you said, guys like us are always apologizing. But I think a girl like Honey always forgives.”

  A man could hope.

  The road bumbled under the truck, and I turned away from Butterpond and onto the highway. It took too long to reach the festival grounds, even longer to find a place to park amid the crowds and people, competitors and judges, kids and families. Spencer followed me as I rushed through the entrance, tossing a twenty at the bored teenager manning the gate.

  Music blared from speakers positioned around the festival grounds, muffled by the laughter, conversations, and excited confusion of over a hundred competitors and the Brawl-B-Que audiences. People danced in the unused spaces, their plastic glasses filled with beer and other alcohols that caused my mouth to water and stomach to churn.

  Couldn’t afford a distraction now.

  Couldn’t let the memory of the drinking or a fear of weakness prevent me from recapturing the only woman in the world who made sobriety tolerable. The only one who made it feel worth the pain, struggle, and uncertainty.

  Honey wasn’t an addiction.

  She was the cure.

  And I wasn’t leaving without her.

  Her truck wasn’t hard to find in a sea of professional vehicles and legitimate food vendors. The ice cream truck had carried her this far though—and, after the work I put into the truck, it’d take her as far as she wished to travel.

  Definitely back to Butterpond.

  The woman worked over her smoker, ensuring the inside was clean and the wood meticulously sorted for the moment the whistle blew to begin the contest.

  The woman was beautiful, from the sunshine yellow scarf in her hair to the bright yellow halter top caressing her ebony curves. I especially loved the short booty shorts that enhanced every inch of her mouth-watering legs and skin. She focused only on her smoker, and her expression settled into sheer determination—an ambition I’d never once felt for myself until that moment when no drug, no drink, and no terrible past would stop me from winning her back.

  “Honey.”

  Even her name tasted sweet.

  She turned, her eyes widening as she spotted me and Spence.

  Wasn’t sure what I was thinking. Wasn’t sure what was right to do.

  But I grabbed that woman, spun her into my arms, and claimed her whispered questions with a stolen kiss.

  I hauled her towards her truck, pinning her against the side like I’d done so many months ago.

  But this time, I didn’t intimidate her.

  This time, I begged her forgiveness.

  “I was never a good man, Honey.”

  Her tears already fell. Christ, did I do that good a job at breaking her heart?

  “What…what are you doing here?”

  I didn’t let her speak. “I wasn’t a good man…until I met you.”

  She quieted, leaning against the truck. I didn’t let her interrupt.

  “Before I met you, I used to lie. Cheat. Steal. I broke the law, broke noses, broke myself.” I exhaled, but it didn’t clear the decades of guilt and misery straining my chest. “I took every drug anyone offered and never once cared if I’d wake up in the morning. I blamed everything in my life on my past…and I never thought I’d have a future until I met you.”

  “Tidus—”

  “I’m a bastard who never appreciated what family I had. I’m a man who refused to lie but only told the truth to hurt those who got close. I’m a user, an abuser, and an addict, and getting clean was the hardest thing I’ve ever done until the day I had to walk away from you.”

  Her lips parted, and I kissed her quickly, preventing her from speaking, from stopping me from making the only confession I’d ever given.

  “I wanted to be a better man before I fell for you, Honey. I wasn’t ready to love someone else, not when I didn’t love myself. I feared how hard I fell for you, and I thought I did right by you when I pushed you away.”

  I touched her face, caressed her arms, drew her hips to mine just to feel the heat swirl between us.

  “I was addicted to your scent, your voice, your body…and I never told you how I really felt because I was so goddamned certain that I’d disappoint you. That I’d break the sobriety and fail, and that my destruction would hurt you too.” I shook my head. “But that’s not gonna happen now.”

  I kissed her again, dragging her against my body and tangling my hands against her hips, her hair.

  “You are my reason for getting clean,” I said. “You are the reason for staying clean. You are my reason to work hard, never surrender, never stop fighting the addictions.”

  I brushed her cheek, pulled her close, and kissed her forehead.

  And every pain, every fear, every shred of guilt faded away.

  “I thought that if we were together now, I’d be too weak to conquer the addiction…” My voice steadied. “But you gave me more strength than I ever had alone. If I’m with you, Honey Hudson…how could I ever fail?”

  Her breathless words teased with hesitation. She forced a smile.

  “Tidus…” She cleared her throat and pointed behind me. “
I’d like you to meet my father.”

  Son of a bitch.

  Even when I tried to do good, I fucked everything up.

  I turned, facing the only man in the world who loved this woman as much as me.

  Even proved it by wearing a t-shirt with her face plastered over the front.

  Marty Hudson stood proud and tall, grey around the temples, round about the waist, with skin a shade lighter than Honey’s. He had the look of a man who loved hard, protected harder, and did what was right by his family no matter the consequences.

  He was the sort of father who would have hated a man like me.

  I hadn’t shaken a real man’s hand before, but I offered my hand with every confidence.

  “Hi.” I nodded. “Name’s Tidus Payne.”

  He took my hand, squeezing it firm. “Marty Hudson. I got three questions for you, son.”

  Honey stepped between us. “Daddy, don’t.”

  I shook my head. “No. Let him ask.”

  Marty set his jaw. “Do you love my daughter?”

  I hadn’t told her before, but I didn’t hesitate now.

  “Yes.”

  He nodded. “Can you make her happy?”

  “I’ve done a poor job of it so far, but I have a lifetime to make up for that mistake.”

  Third question. Marty hummed. He glanced to his daughter then back to me. I anticipated the worst. Questions about my addictions and crimes. If I thought I was good enough for his baby girl. If I had the means to take care of her, to give her the life she deserved.

  Marty’s eyes narrowed on me. “So, Tidus…how much do you love barbeque?”

  The tension eased from my shoulders. I glanced from Honey to Spencer, both nodding enthusiastically.

  “I…” I scratched my head. “Only recently started liking it…once I tried Honey’s cooking.”

  “And now?”

  “I love it.”

  A grin brightened Marty’s face. He patted my shoulder and tossed an apron around my neck.

  “Then as far as I’m concerned…welcome to the family, Tidus.”

  Spencer ran to Marty’s side, mimicking our handshake. “Hi! I’m Spencer. I like Honey, and I love barbeque too. A lot. I wanna help. I promise I won’t burn the festival down.”

  Honey’s voice still trembled. “Good. Cause we could really use you today, Spence.” She glanced to her father. “He’s been helping me prepare.”

  “Yep. I know everything about smoking now,” Spence said. “And I know everything you don’t do to smoke, like burn scrap wood or paint or lighter fluid…”

  Marty rubbed a hand over his face. “Uh, good…why don’t you…follow me then, Spence. You can show me what you know.” He shouted to his wife. “Tia? Just keep them matches in your pocket.”

  Marty led Spence from the truck, leaving me with Honey.

  The woman stared at me in amazement, her hand gentle against my cheek.

  “Can’t believe you’re here,” she said.

  “Can’t believe I almost missed it.” I pulled her close. “I was an idiot.”

  “Forget it.”

  “But I—”

  Her fingers pressed over my lips. “You’re here now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I gestured around the competition. “I wanted to show you how I felt. Help out. Win the contest.”

  She smirked. “You know there’s no recipe for this disaster, right?”

  “Nothing better than a bit of chaos.”

  “You’re more than a bit of chaos.”

  And the thought still weighed heavy on me. “I know. But you showed me I could be something more than those mistakes. Can never tell you how much that means to me.”

  “You taught me something too, you know?”

  “What’s that?”

  Honey stood on her tippy-toes, her lips grazing mine.

  “You taught me that some mistakes are worth making, some trucks are worth crashing, all food is worth eating….” Her smile radiated absolute peace. “And that some men are worth loving.”

  “Fuck me, Honey…” I welcomed her kiss. “I love you.”

  “Love you too, bad boy.”

  Epilogue

  Honey

  Only thing better than a victory picnic at the Payne’s farm?

  Not having to cook.

  After a weekend of ribs and brisket, pulled pork and chicken, barbeque and hot sauces, the only thing I needed more than a wet nap was a place to set my Finger-Lickin’ trophy and a lazy afternoon cuddled in the shade with the man who’d made it all possible. Tidus’s family handled the party preparations—fixing sandwiches and making punch. No alcohol—a new Payne family rule. No one seemed to mind.

  After a hearty dinner, another viewing of the first place brisket trophy, and one pregnant woman in labor, the family hustled Gretchen and Marius off to the hospital and returned to let the kids play in the sunshine while the family worked on bets for guessing the newest Payne’s sex, weight, and time it took to pop into the world.

  The hammock gently rocked under the trees. Tidus wrapped one arm around me and dropped the other over his eyes. The sun tickled through the fresh leaves, and I cuddled next to him. My fingers teased a path over his chest, abs, then lower.

  Tidus grunted. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “Couldn’t let you fall asleep on me.”

  “First time in years I’ve fallen asleep at the farm without a drink in my hand.”

  “And why’s that?”

  He tugged me closer. “Got a reason to be happy now.”

  “That so?”

  “But if you really want to make me happy, we can sneak into the new barn.”

  I pinched his side. “You should behave, Tidus Payne. I think your family would notice if you go missing now.”

  “If they saw me sneaking away with you, they’d forgive it.”

  I smirked. “We’ll have plenty of time for that tonight.”

  “Taking you at your word.”

  I leaned close, kissing the top of his nose. “Would I lie to you?”

  “You know I won’t.”

  The hammock gently rocked under us. I leaned up, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “You look happy, Tidus. Relaxed.”

  “Lot of good that’s gonna do me.” He rested his arm over his face once more. “You’re dragging me all over God’s country for the competitions. This might be my last opportunity to get some rest.”

  “Barbeque during the day, sex at night?”

  “The burdens I bear for you, Honey.”

  I giggled, glancing over the farm. The kids played in the sunshine—Glory, Lulu, and Varius; Rem and Cassi with Tabby and Mellie; Micah tummy-timing Max. Only one was missing.

  That didn’t bode well.

  “…Where’s Spencer?” I asked.

  Tidus shrugged. “Probably packing. Kid’s ecstatic that you’re taking him to the Rib Rumble and Smokin’ Semifinals.”

  “He deserves it…poor kid is still torn up about the Barlows.”

  “The whole town is gonna get screwed cause of the Barlows.” Tidus snorted. “Always did have it out for us. Only gonna make the feud worse.”

  “Really?”

  “The Barlows just donated to Mayor Desmond’s reelection campaign. It’s gonna get ugly, fast.”

  I bit my nail. “Maybe we should take Spencer with us all summer then? Think he’d like to travel that far? New York to Atlantic City, down the coast?”

  “That depends.”

  Shouting echoed in the distance. I sat up. “Depends on what?”

  “If he can stay out of trouble for thirty goddamned minutes.”

  The Paynes rocketed to their feet, rushing towards Spencer’s alarmed cries. Julian and Quint rushed into the barn, but only Quint emerged, screaming like a banshee and clamoring up the first tree that could hold his weight.

  I squinted into the distance, peering through rays of sunshine that turned cold and grey.

  Dust churned from the p
asture, rising into the air and coiling like charred black smoke billowing out of hell. A figure emerged from within the dust.

  Sprinting on all fours like a demon.

  Snarling and baying, screaming for blood.

  I shook Tidus and pointed. “What…what the hell is that?”

  Tidus opened his eyes, peeked at the monstrosity, and swore. “Shit. We gotta go.”

  “What is it?”

  “That—” Tidus tried to spin out of the hammock, got stuck, and twisted my leg into the ropes. “That is bad news. Run.”

  “Run?”

  “Run!”

  He shoved me out of the hammock, but my ankle tangled, spinning the ropes and dropping us both into the dirt. My foot contorted above my head, and Tidus knelt at my side.

  His eyes stared only at the ugliest monstrosity on four legs that ever grazed a farmland.

  The creature galloped towards us, its leathery skin bare and naked to the spring breeze. It flapped in the wind, slap slap slapping its own hide with wrinkled, thick flesh.

  What luck. I’d finally won the greatest barbeque competition this side of the Mississippi only to be run down by a raging, rabid uncooked lump of brisket.

  Tidus dove over me, protecting my head as the beast unleashed a vile screech.

  The monster leapt over the hammock, its naked flesh clapping, its folds of fat dangling, and it’s utters…

  Protruding.

  Never expected to get walloped in the face with the utters of a lactating, hairless alpaca, but it was better than having my soul consumed by the hellion as it raced across the farm in search of its next victim.

  “Oh…” I groaned, wiping the rivulets of milk cascading down my cheek. “It’s…a girl?”

  “Jesus.” Tidus untangled my ankle from the hammock. “She’s a goddamned pain in the ass, that’s what she is.”

  A tinier critter squeaked from only a few yards away. I braced myself, but a baby alpaca—equally hairless but not nearly as terrifying—galloped close, following his momma with a happy squeak and a playful little hop, skip, and jump away from Tidus.

  The family followed close behind—Jules, Varius, and Quint stumbling over the grass, barking orders to split up and corner the alpaca.

  “Hurry!” Julian tied a lasso. “Before Alicia rampages the town again!”

  Chasing the pack, Spencer puffed, a blind rooster in his arms and a three-legged goat with a leash at his side. He raced after his uncles, shouting his apologies.