Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  ‘Ed,’ she hissed, hoping no-one heard.

  ‘And tomorrow night we’ll go to Mario’s because I want to take you out.’

  She stopped and looked up at him.

  ‘Your mum asked if I’d told Matias. Should I tell him about us or do you want to leave it?’ Flora noticed he winced. ‘We won’t say.’

  ‘I’ll tell him when I’m ready. Unless you want to tell him yourself?’

  ‘Do you want me to?’ She didn’t know how to position her next statement. ‘Are we together?’

  The Ed stare was being directed at her, a half-smile appearing on his lips.

  ‘We’re very much together,’ he said, spinning her slowly around in his arms. ‘Call him tomorrow and tell him. I’ll take whatever comes my way.’

  ‘What happened to your hand? You didn’t say.’

  ‘I hit Lee.’

  Flora stopped and looked up at him. Her heart was beating very fast.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because Flo, he said something about someone I really care about and I didn’t like it. I hit him and told him what I thought then walked away.’ Ed glanced at his hand. ‘I didn’t hurt anything but I’ve strapped it up as it was a little bruised.’

  ‘Don’t stop being friends because of me.’

  ‘You know what? I don’t think we’ve been friends for years. I just didn’t realise.’

  They danced together.

  Flora just melted into his arms and was lost in his touch.

  She was incredibly happy then felt something distract her for a moment.

  It was if the sun was shining directly into her eyes and she was instantly reminded of the picture Paulette had painted.

  That made her smile.

  She got it.

  Her picture was about happiness.

  Being happy.

  And Flora was.

  ‘You hit him?’

  … Harry said, looking around. ‘You hit Lee?’

  ‘I just flipped and realised what type of a man he was.’

  Ed looked anxiously around before spotting Flora speaking to his sister and Virginia. He smiled at them laughing.

  ‘And she’s absolutely gorgeous, mate,’ sighed Harry, nudging him in the side. ‘I can see what the fuss is about.’

  ‘I really… god, I can’t explain. It’s like being hit with a thunderbolt in my chest and it’s amazing.’

  ‘Love,’ whispered his friend. ‘You’re in love. Have you told her?’

  ‘She’s told me lots of time but I’ve not said it. I just need to slow it down.’

  ‘You slowed it down so much you didn’t see her for a quarter of a century.’

  ‘I get your point. I’ll tell Flora soon enough,’ he said, just staring at her. Ed looked at her up and down, the slim figure, beautiful skin and enchanting face. ‘Maybe in half an hour.’

  A rush of people went past them onto the dance floor.

  ‘This is a great party,’ Harry said, tapping his stomach. ‘And a hog roast? What more do you want?’

  ‘The night is still young,’ Ed replied, looking at his watch and it was coming up to nine.

  The sky had darkened and there were lights in the garden, twinkling around.

  Then he spotted it before he could move. His father had grabbed his arm and pulled him towards where everyone was congregating.

  ‘Now my gorgeous little boy is forty four on Wednesday and I’d like us all to wish him a very happy birthday!’ said Ernie, very loudly.

  Everyone broke out into song and then he saw the cake coming closer to him.

  It was shaped like a chisel, which he knew his mother would have thought to be a great idea.

  And it was heavily covered in candles making the place light up.

  ‘Make a wish!’ his father said.

  Ed bent down and just before he was about to blow out the flames, he saw Flora standing in front of him.

  For once, he got his wish before he got his cake.

  ‘I better get this,’

  … Flora said, trying to juggle a glass of wine and a slice of cake.

  It was Paulette calling her mobile.

  ‘Hello there! You’re missing a-.’

  ‘Flora, it’s Marjorie. Can you get to Charing Cross as soon as possible? Mum just had a turn and she wants to talk to you.’

  Her body froze and she put down the items in her hands, walking away from the party towards somewhere quieter.

  ‘What happened? Is she all right?’

  ‘Flora, please come,’ Marjorie said then sobbed. ‘She wants to see you.’

  ‘Of course.’

  Searching for Ed, she couldn’t find him and didn’t know where to look. Asking anyone and everyone, they hadn’t seen him and she was frantic.

  She had to leave.

  Taking her mobile, she called his number and it went to voicemail.

  ‘Ed, I have to go to the hospital. It’s Paulette. I’m so sorry. Can you call me when you get this message?’

  She hurried out onto the pavement and then felt something grab her arm.

  To her horror, Lee was standing in front of her. An older and far less attractive version, his face full of lines and hate.

  ‘You slut!’ he slurred. The man was staggering around and he looked drunk. ‘You’re a nasty whore, do you know that?’

  ‘Get off me!’ she shouted, pulling her arm away.

  ‘I heard his mum was having a party and I wondered why I wasn’t invited now I know. He wanted to keep you away from me.’ Lee stepped closer. It was the same expression he had that night he tried to assault her. He was also supporting a very swollen black eye. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘Just leave me alone!’ she shouted out loudly. ‘I have to go!’

  Lee then squeezed her arm hard as she struggled to get out of his grip.

  This was the last thing she needed.

  ‘Get off her!’ she heard someone shout. Harry was rushing towards him. ‘Did you hear what I said?’

  ‘Fuck off!’ Lee replied. ‘We’re old friends.’

  ‘Just tell him to let me go!’ she shouted, struggling to free her arm. ‘I have to leave!’

  ‘Running away from Ed now like you did me? I know he fucked you and left you because you’re a tramp like your sister.’

  ‘Didn’t stop you shagging Faith.’

  ‘Everyone shagged Faith!’

  She got her bag and hit him on the head, startling Lee as Harry pulled him off her.

  ‘Piss off Lee! You’re not invited,’ said Harry holding him back.

  ‘Let go of me!'

  Flora was so angry and upset at seeing him, she took the opportunity to grab his bollocks and twist them very hard, much to the astonishment of Lee and Harry.

  ‘Don’t you ever fucking well touch me again, do you hear?’ she hissed, squeezing harder and seeing Lee in pain. ‘You come near me I will report you for attempted rape and I have a witness. Just go away and leave me alone.’

  Stepping back, Harry let him go and Lee fell to the floor as the man groaned in pain.

  ‘I have to go to Charing Cross,’ she said quietly to Harry, trying to compose herself. ‘Tell Ed I’ll call him later. My friend Paulette, you see, she’s dying.’

  Flora was trying to hold it together and did her breathing exercises.

  ‘I’ll order you a cab,’ Harry said, pulling her away from Lee.

  ‘I’ll see if I can hail one down. God, this is awful. Tell Noreen I’m sorry and…’ She semi broke down for a second then pulled herself together. ‘Please tell Ed, please.’

  Running as fast as she could, Flora found a black cab and jumped in the back, just catching a glimpse of Lee trying to land a punch on Harry but missing.

  The cab pulled up and she’d got a text of where to go. She ran to the ward and stopped when she saw Marjorie, Declan and the family gathered outside the room.

  Flora could see it looked bad.

  Walking slowly towards Marjorie, she grabbed the woman and hugged
her.

  She didn’t need to ask any questions.

  It was evident Paulette was dying.

  ‘She wants to talk to you,’ Marjorie said, wiping her eyes.

  ‘I won’t be long,’ Flora said and composed herself, putting on a bright smile.

  Opening the door, she walked in and saw Paulette lying on the bed. There was an old lady sitting next to her, holding her hand. It was her mother.

  The woman smiled and ushered her closer.

  ‘You Flora?’ she asked quietly to which Flora nodded in response. ‘She askin’ for ya.’

  ‘Paulette, I’m here. I came straight from Noreen’s party,’ she said, looking down at Paulette who seemed as if she was having a doze.

  ‘I could smell the wine from a mile,’ she sighed.

  The eyes opened and a smile appeared.

  ‘I’ve just got here. Sorry.’

  ‘Did you see it, Flora?’ she asked quietly. ‘The sunshine in the sky tonight?’

  ‘I did,’ Flora replied, trying not to cry. Her friend looked so pretty lying on her bed. ‘It was like your picture. Warm and yellow. It’s happiness, isn’t it?’

  ‘I knew you’d get it. Banana boat indeed. Let him love you and your heart will mend.’

  ‘Please don’t go,’ Flora said, her eyes welling up.

  ‘He lost so much too and now he’s found you. You’ve found each other again.’

  Flora nodded, the tears dripping down her face.

  Paulette’s stroked her hand and then whispered,

  ‘That’s all you need to be is happy now.’

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  … Ed asked, rushing out of the party and seeing Lee was being held back by a couple of guests.

  ‘I was just passing,’ slurred Lee. ‘Can you tell these bastards to let me go?’

  Turning, he saw Harry nursing a swollen lip.

  ‘You hit Harry?’ Ed shouted, stepping closer to Lee and seeing him cower.

  ‘I stepped in when he was trying to drag Flora off. She was in a right state, so I had to stop it,’ Harry replied, angrily staring at Lee.

  ‘Where’s Flora?’

  ‘I need to talk to you.’

  Harry pulled Ed away so no one could hear.

  ‘She said she tried to ring you but she had to go. A friend of hers wanted to see her at Charing Cross. She jumped into a taxi and left. Flora said she was sorry.’

  ‘Paulette,’ Ed said and knew he had to follow Flora. ‘Look, I’m going to tell my mum and I’ll go.’ Then he turned to the people holding onto Lee. ‘Put him in a cab.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere!’ Lee snapped back.

  ‘If you’ve hurt her, believe me, you will be going somewhere,’ Ed hissed into his face and noticed Lee looked scared. ‘Leave her alone, do you hear me?’

  ‘Oh I think she gave as good as she got,’ Harry said before wincing at Lee’s crotch.

  Speaking hurriedly to his mum but not saying where he was going, Ed got into a taxi and went to the hospital.

  He didn’t even know Paulette’s last name and was at a loss on where to go.

  Then something made him turn around when he rushed to the entrance of the hospital.

  Flora was sitting on a bench inside the grounds, staring at the sky.

  ‘Flora!’ he shouted and ran towards her.

  She looked up and tried to smile but he could see the pain.

  ‘Paulette died. It was very peaceful and her family were with her,’ she said, biting her lip. ‘You shouldn’t be here. Go back to the party.’

  ‘I wanted to be with you,’ he said, sitting down next to her.

  She buried her face into his chest and stayed there for a few minutes.

  ‘I’m taking you back to mine,’ he said, holding her very tightly. ‘It’s not far from here.’

  ‘Can I just sit here for longer?’

  Ed looked at her face.

  Flora was devastated but very calm.

  ‘I just want to see if I can spot her going into the sky,’ she said, looking up. ‘She was a ray of sunshine in so many ways.’

  ‘It’s beautiful,’

  … Flora said.

  Ed let her into his house. It was just where she would have imagined he’d live. A converted Victorian detached home with a very large with a beautiful wooden staircase. Any other time she’d have looked around but, right now, she was just numb.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, looking into her eyes. ‘Your skin’s cold.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  Flora desperately wanted to breakdown.

  But now, the dying wish of someone she loved couldn’t be done because she simply didn’t know how.

  Then she thought about what Paulette said about Ed.

  It hurt because she knew it was the truth.

  The scars were mental and physical but they could be healed.

  He could heal them.

  But that’s if she would allow him to.

  The gush of tears were strong and she breathed them away, swallowing hard, then realised Ed was holding gently onto her arms.

  ‘Stop it,’ he quietly said, resting his forehead against hers. ‘Let it out, Flo, let it all out.’

  It felt like she could hear Paulette speaking to her

  Flora broke down in tears. Grief stricken, frightened sobs, collapsing to the ground as Ed held onto her tightly, not letting go.

  All she could feel was an uncontrollable pain, so uncomfortable for her body to deal with.

  But there were a very strong pair of arms wrapped around her body, making her feel safe and warm.

  It was only when she was starting to feel tired she realised they must have been in that position for a long time.

  Flora stopped and wiped her face with her hands. Ed had managed to reach over to a box of tissues on the coffee table, constantly pushing them into her face and changing them.

  ‘Let’s get some sleep,’ Ed said and slowly pulled her up to her feet, still with his arm around her, taking her up the wooden staircase.

  Closing her eyes, she trusted his arms to lead her to the bedroom.

  The blinds were open and the street lights were shining in.

  He sat Flora on the edge of the bed and he knelt in front of her.

  Ed touched her face then slowly pulled off the dress until it was around her waist. Flora pushed it off and let it drop down to her feet.

  She looked into his eyes and he reached around her back, touching the fastening of her strapless bar. Immediately, she put one of her hands over his eyes, knowing she didn’t want him to see her breasts.

  Undoing the hooks, she felt it fall away from her skin. He pulled her hand away and gently held her wrists. Ed’s mouth kissed all the way down her face and headed towards her throat.

  ‘Please don’t look,’ she whispered. ‘You won’t want me.’

  Ed darted his eyes towards her and their eyes were fixed on each other’s gaze.

  His lips traced her chest place then his mouth captured her nipple and she was too scared to see if he was looking at her skin, examining the cuts. He licked in between her breasts and sucked on the other nipple before kissing all around them, then pulling gently with his lips.

  Flora decided she wasn’t going to open her eyes.

  Then he let go of one of her wrists and pulled down her kickers. She helped by lifting up her bottom.

  Ed hadn’t said a word.

  His hand just gently massaged between her legs and she knew she was getting wet. Regardless of how she felt about her skin, his mouth was causing a sexual revolution on her libido but she was so tired.

  Caressing his back gently, she undid his shirt and unbuckled his jeans, still keeping her eyes closed, her balance being kept by his lips on her mouth. His tongue delved deeper in and she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t look.

  All the time the words of Paulette ringing in her ears about letting go.

  It was just hard.

  His skin smelt good. Flora gently
bit his shoulder and she reached out, guiding his cock towards her.

  That’s all she wanted.

  Ed.

  His breathing got heavier and she realised he covered her hand with his, pushing closer.

  Opening her eyes, she noticed he was looking at her and then she felt a tightening between her legs as he delved in.

  Flora gasped and held him tightly, never wanting to let him go. The thrusting of his hips felt satisfying. But he then pushed her back onto the bed and she instinctively covered her breasts with her hands.

  ‘Don’t do that,’ he whispered, holding onto her hips, trying to go in deep. ‘Take them away. I want to see you.’

  She counted to three in her head before removing them and again closed her eyes, unable to see the rejection and repulsion on his face.

  It was dark enough to hide what would mar how he felt towards her.

  ‘Just relax,’

  … Ed gasped, looking down at her before holding her arms above her head.

  The dim light in the room couldn’t hide the faint scars on her breasts but he knew if he looked too closely, she’d get upset.

  Flora had suffered enough that evening and he didn’t want to add to it.

  But he could see the marks and small dents in her skin.

  The tightness in certain areas and a few very vague lumps.

  She still looked beautiful though the scars emphasised what she’d been through and the pain she’d suffered.

  He couldn’t remember ever loving anyone as much as he loved her right then.

  The Flora he was inside, moving slowly so he could enjoy her hot wet warmth, was the same vulnerable and unsure one of years gone by.

  Time had only changed her body but not the person.

  Stroking her skin, he could see she was upset, her eyes tightly shut.

  It’s then he wondered if she was the one who couldn’t face seeing what happened to her body, the scars remaining on her flesh.

  Could it be that Flora was repelled by her own very self and she believed everyone would be?

  Ed let go of her hand and she covered her breast with her palm before opening her eyes.

  That’s when he figured out he was right.