Luke

by Lisa Lovell

  “So, you’re just going to make your mom suck on frozen strawberries?” There’s humor in his voice. He always sounds like he’s about to start laughing. He has the best laugh.

  “I can get stuff next time we go to Denver,” I say.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll bring the blender over tomorrow,” he says. “By the way, your mom sent me a text about Gary’s old truck. I’m trying to help him sell it.”

  “Oh, god,” I sigh. “Please, don’t sell it to her. She’s not going to be able to drive a car soon, let alone one like that.”

  “Don’t worry,” he assures me. “I know how she is with anything weird and unusual. I told her one of the McLarren brothers already made an offer.”

  “Thank you.” Relief mixed with guilt washes through me.

  “Do you want to grab something to eat?” He asks.

  “Um.” My mind goes blank. His question catches me off guard. It’s already hard enough to think straight while standing so close to him. He’s a good ten inches taller than me, which I’ve always loved. He looks like a superhero trying to blend into a civilian population.

  “It’s not supposed to be a brain teaser,” he chuckles.

  “My mother’s waiting in the car,” I say. “Another time?”

  “Sure,” he nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow when I bring the blender.”

  Before I can tell him it’s not necessary, he walks away.

  Chapter Four

  Luke

  I knock on the door to Marie’s home at nine the next morning. A tired-looking Alice answers, though her ever-present smile is in place. Her hair was always thin, but I can see where it’s starting to fall out.

  “Luke!” Her smile widens. “I haven’t seen the likes of you here in some time! I should get cancer more often if it means handsome men will come knocking on my door.”

  “Mom!” Marie appears beside her mother, looking embarrassed. When she eyes the box in my hands, her eyes narrow. She wears a flattering cream colored sweater and jeans that hug her in all of the right places.

  “What’s all this?” She asks.

  My mind goes blank. All I can think about is running my hands over her thighs. I used to be so much better at keeping this under wraps. I guess, I’m out of practice. She snaps her fingers, bringing me back to the here and now.

  “Uh, Fresh is better than frozen. Where can I put it?” I look down at the box of fresh fruit and veggies. Maybe I should have brought more.

  “I thought you were bringing a blender,” Marie says, unable to take her eyes off my box of goodies.

  “It’s in the car.” I step past her and make my way into the kitchen. Marie follows me like she’s trailing a criminal.

  “I didn’t poison anything,” I say.

  “You didn’t have to bring so much,” she says. “I have it covered.”

  “You want your mom to live off strawberry puree?” I chuckle. “All this stuff came from the Horace’s garden. Laurel went a little overboard this year. She was happy to share.”

  “That’s really nice of her.” Marie looks shocked as if she can’t believe old fashioned neighborly kindness exists.

  “All this stuff is real healthy, too,” I say. “Lots of antioxidants, vitamins, and other stuff I don’t understand. Blend it all up and you’ll have a bonafide health potion.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” she says.

  “Luke, you’re my hero?” I prompt. “Luke, I’m sorry for disappearing six years ago? Anything along those lines will work.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t plan on leaving like that. I had a chance and I took it.”

  “You can take chances and also make a phone call,” I say.

  “It was…” she hesitates, “more complicated than that.”

  “How?” I ask. “Tell me.”

  She lets out a long sigh and ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t want to get into this now. I have a lot on my plate with my mom and everything, okay?”

  “Don’t you think I deserve an explanation?” I press. I don’t want to push her too hard but if she knew how many sleepless nights, I’ve had while trying to figure out why she left town the way she did, maybe she’d change her tone.

  “You do,” she agrees quickly, to my surprise. “You do. I’m just not in a place to give you the quality explanation you deserve. My mental and emotional bandwidths are at capacity, right now. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s fair,” I shrug and walk out of the kitchen. I hear her rush after me.

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  I look over my shoulder with a smile.

  “To get the blender,” I say. “I’ve got some recipes I want to try out.”

  The visible relief that crosses her face makes me smile. At least, I know she wants me around.

  “How’s your mom?” She asks when we’re back in the kitchen. I weigh out smoothie ingredients in an attempt to pack in the most nutrition.

  “She’s good,” I say. “She’s dating.”

  “Oh?” Marie’s brows shoot up in surprise. “That’s amazing. I’m glad she’s getting back out there.”

  When my father died, my mom shut down. It took her years to start acting like a human again, let alone a mom. She’s only been seeing Brad for two months, but he’s been good for her. A small part of me hates that she’s moving on from dad, but I know she has to. She doesn’t deserve to spend the rest of her life alone just because an idiot kid took my dad away.

  “Are you okay?” Marie asks quietly.

  I realize I’m holding the blueberries too tightly. Purple juice leaks onto my palm.

  “Fine,” I nod and dump them into the blender.

  “I light a candle every year, you know?” She says. “For Andrew.”

  It’s always weird hearing someone say my dad’s name.

  “Thanks,” I say. “I bet he likes it.”

  “I like to think so.”

  “Are the smoothies ready?” Alice walks into the room rubbing her hands together like a child who’s about to get a treat.

  “Just about.” I put three big handfuls of spinach on top of the fruit and almond milk.

  “You’re putting spinach in a smoothie?” Alice cries. “That’s like putting Brussel sprouts on birthday cake. Have you lost your mind?”

  “You won’t even taste it,” I assure her.

  “And what are those little blank things floating around?”

  “Chia seeds, mom,” Marie answers. “They’re good for you and they have no taste. You won’t even notice them.”

  “None of this seems natural.” Alice peers into the blender with a skeptical eye.

  “It came from Laurel Horace’s garden,” Marie says. “It’s as natural as it gets.”

  I fire up the blender. The blueberries and the spinach make a weird color. Alice wrinkles her nose. Her expression doesn’t improve as I pour the smoothie into three glasses. Marie is the first one to take a sip.

  “Crap, that’s delicious,” she says. “Did you sneak in a little vanilla extract?”

  “Just a drop,” I wink.

  “Mom, you have to try it. It’s good!”

  “I just don’t see why I have to change my whole diet,” Alice grumbles. “I like my chicken fried steak from Harry’s. I like bacon. I like butter. What’s so wrong with that?”

  “You can still have those things,” I say. “However, these smoothies are going to taste just as good going down as they will if they come back up. Can you say the same for chicken fried steak?”

  “Luke,” Marie says through clenched teeth.

  “Don’t chide him,” Alice says. “Everyone keeps talking to me like I’m a toddler. Luke’s right. At some point, it’s going to be hard for me to keep food down. It’s okay to acknowledge it.”

  “Let’s also acknowledge that I practically had to tackle you to get you to take your pills this morning,” Marie says. “Did I baby you then?”

  “Those pills make me all screwy. I don’t
like them. They sure as hell don’t make me feel better.”

  Marie sucks in a long, slow breath. Tears shine in her eyes but she blinks them away.

  “They will if you take them correctly. Is it okay to acknowledge not taking your pills is a bad idea?”

  “When you can prove it.”

  “I can’t deal with this right now,” Marie mutters and strides out of the kitchen. Alice lets out a sigh.

  “I’m not trying to make this difficult, you know?” She says to me.

  “I know,” I nod. “So does Marie.”

  “It’s just all these doctors telling me what I can and can’t do. I hate it. Complacency isn’t in my nature. It’s not part of Marie’s either.” Alice picks up her smoothie to examine it.

  “No, it’s not,” I chuckle. “That just means both of you are natural fighters. That’s going to come in handy in the coming months. All those doctors just want you to have the best weapons.”

  “Like this?” She shakes the smoothie glass.

  “Yup.”

  “When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like a list of demands.” She takes a small sip. “Wow, that’s good. I can’t even taste the green stuff.”

  “What did I tell you?” I grin. Alice looks up at me, her eyes clear and bright.

  “I’m glad to have you around again, Luke. Marie is going to need a friend like you.”

  “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

  Chapter Five

  Marie

  Luke comes over every morning to make smoothies for us. With each passing day, it gets both harder and easier to be around him. We’re falling into our old rhythm but I want him so much I can hardly think straight.

  On Wednesdays, he brings more produce from Laurel Horace. It’s my mother’s favorite day of the week now. She loves to declare how much she hates something only to listen to Luke work his verbal magic and convince her to try it. It’s like a little game between them.

  That’s not the only area in which Luke’s made improvements. The leak in the roof mysteriously vanished. Our gutters are spotless. Our lawn is neatly mowed, though my mother likes having a ‘wild lawn’, as she puts it. The trash bins are always put out on time, too.

  I don’t know what he said to my mom, but I haven’t had a problem getting her to take her meds. When I drive her to her treatment, she plays pump up music, and acts like she’s about to get into a boxing match. I don’t get it but I sure as hell not going to complain about it. Her hair is starting to fall out, but she doesn’t mind it as much as I thought she would. My mother has always been a little vain, but I don’t blame her. She’s a pretty woman. She’s compact and pixie-like, exactly the opposite of me. I take after my dad, but I haven’t seen him since I was twelve. He’s got a new family somewhere else. I have no desire to know them.

  “Knock, knock!” Luke calls as he enters the house at nine o’clock on the dot. Even my mother’s cats, Edmund and Lucy, run to the front room when Luke arrives.

  “Morning!” I call from the kitchen.

  He hasn’t brought up graduation, my abrupt departure, or anything difficult since the day he brought the blender. I’m eternally grateful to him for it, but I know I have to talk about it eventually. I need to come up with a way to do so without having to admit the feelings I had for him. We’re just starting to get our friendship back. I don’t want to ruin it. When he enters the kitchen, his smile lights up the whole room. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. I can’t help but smile back.

  “Are you ready for another gourmet smoothie courtesy of Laurel Horace?” He asks as he sets down a wooden crate overflowing with fruit and veggies on the kitchen counter. “Do you think I can sneak carrots in without Alice figuring it out?”

  “Definitely not.”

  “Where is she?” He looks into the living room, which is empty except for the cats.

  “She’s tired,” I say. “I’m letting her sleep.”

  “The treatments are starting to take their toll?”

  “Yeah,” I nod. “That and all the travel time. Driving, even being a passenger, is more exhausting than it sounds.”

  “I believe it,” he says. “When I used to do patrols, those were my most exhausting days.”

  “When did you decide to become a ranger?” I ask.

  “About a year after high school graduation,” I say. “Sherriff Cormick offered me a spot in the training program. I had to get a few certifications first.”

  “I thought you were going to get a Criminal Justice degree from that school in Texas,” I say. “What happened to that?”

  “I didn’t feel right about leaving my mom,” he answers. “I don’t regret staying at all. Because of the ranger program, I’ve met some of the best guys ever. Rhodes and Max are like brothers to me.”

  “That’s great,” I smile, though it doesn’t feel entirely genuine. I can’t be angry he’s found people to replace me with. It’s not fair. “I’m glad you’ve found your place.”

  “What about you?” He asks. “Have you found yours?”

  I want to say yes, but I hesitate.

  “Don’t lie to me,” he says with a sly grin. “Honest answers only.”

  “I love New Orleans,” I say. “I really do. However, I feel like I’m on an extended vacation rather than living in a place I call home.”

  “Ever consider moving back here permanently?”

  “I don’t know,” I shake my head. “So much has happened.”

  “Has a lot happened?” He asks. “I still have no idea what you’ve been doing this whole time.”

  “Studying. Working. Exploring. Nothing too exciting,” I say. “Let’s get these in the fridge before they go bad.”

  Luke and I reach for the same apple. Our hands brush together. My entire body feels like it’s been touched by a live wire.

  I pull back too quickly to play it cool.

  When I look up at Luke, he’s watching me with a pleading gaze. Up until this moment, I thought I’d been doing a good job of keeping my feelings in check. Now, when I look at him, I realize how foolish I was to think my feelings for him would ever go away.

  “Marie,” he says softly.

  “I need to check on my mother.” I pull away and leave the room but I linger in the hallway. I can’t let his happen again. I barely made it out of high school without losing my mind. I spent years in love with my best friend knowing he’d never feel the same way about me. I watched him date perfect, skinny, girls raised to be perfect, skinny southern belles.

  He always stuck up for me. He never let me feel like I was less than them. It was so easy to fall in love with him then and it’s just as easy to fall back in love with him now. But the bottom line hasn’t changed. He’ll never be with someone like me. That’s why I had to leave the first time. It’ll be the reason I have to leave a second time.

  Chapter Six

  Luke

  Marie’s been back in town for a month and I’m still no closer to understanding why she left down all those years ago.

  Alice’s treatment is taking its toll. Her hair is gone. She can only drink smoothies now, which she doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, now she gives me lists of ingredients and challenges me to make a smoothie out of them. It’s fun for me too, though I’d never recommend mixing peanut butter and kale. It just doesn’t work.

  Now that Alice is on an all-smoothie diet, I’ve started bringing normal food for Marie. I’m in the kitchen seasoning chicken for dinner when my phone rings.

  “What’s up?” I answer, already knowing it’s Max, a fellow ranger.

  “Are you coming out tonight or are you staying in with the wife?” He jokes.

  “Very funny,” I mutter. “I’m having dinner with Marie and her mother tonight.”

  “Ah, so staying with the wife.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t call her that,” I say.

  Sometimes, it feels like Marie and I can easily slip back into how we were before she left. It’s like we haven’t missed a beat. Other tim
es, she can’t look me in the eye. I don’t understand it and I have no intention of backing off until I do. It doesn’t help that I can’t be in the room with her for an extended period of time without wanting to push her up against the wall or take her into the bedroom.

  All this time spent at her home, cooking dinner, and fixing things up has made me realize just how empty my life was without her. It’s a stressful time for her and her mother, but I haven’t felt so at ease in years. Looking after them is as easy as breathing. I want Alice to get better more than anything, but when she does, I’m worried that Marie will disappear all over again. I don’t know if I can go another six years without my best friend. She needs me right now, even though she won’t admit it. What she doesn’t know is that I need her just as much.

  “You’re basically a married couple. You look way too damn chipper every time you come into work. It’s obvious,” Max taunts. “Rhodes thinks so, too.”

  “You’re just jealous that I get to spend my time with two wonderful women and you’re eating leftover casserole out of Tupperware.”

  “We’re definitely both jealous,” Max agrees. “When are you and the missus going to have us over for dinner?”

  “When Alice is better, she wants to have a huge cookout,” I say. “You two idiots are definitely coming.”

  “Awesome. Tell her we’ve got her back, all right? Marie, too.”

  “Sure thing.”

  I hang up and grab a can of cat food from the cabinet. Sometimes, Marie and her mother hit a bit of traffic on the way home from treatment, so I’ve taken it upon myself to feed the cats.

  Lucy and Edmund come running. I place their food in the usual spot by a huge bookshelf crammed with knickknacks. As I straightened up, I spy something I hadn’t noticed before.

  It’s a photo from ages ago at a school event. I must’ve been around ten years old. Marie is in the photo, too. So are Alice and my mother. The face I’m not expecting to see is my father’s. He didn’t get to come to school events often. Work took him all over the place. This must’ve been the last school event he came to before he…