Hoverfly Girl

by Parker Wren

  “How was New York?” I asked him as we pulled out of the garage.

  “Mostly boring,” Dom said, navigating to the airport exit. “I’m not really sure why John even wanted Henry back, to be honest. I feel like he was just trying to win Henry back or something. Like John knew that he was going down, and didn’t want to have a bad relationship with Henry.”

  “Interesting,” I said.

  “Yeah,” said Dom. “When the SEC showed up, that was it. I didn’t really see either of them much. Now I know that Henry was talking with them, telling them everything about his father, and about Brit.”

  “How did he find out about Brit?” I asked. “That she had…you know…been with his dad? Is Henry close with his mom?”

  “I imagine he found out the same way I did,” Dom said. “Loose-lipped employees, seeing that the skip was sinking, and not caring who knew John’s secrets. And to answer your question, I don’t really know much about his relationship with his mom. I mean, his parents are married, but I get the impression that everyone in the family is pretty distant from one another.”

  “I see,” I said.

  “And when you texted me—holy fuck! I couldn’t believe that Brit did that.” Dom shook his head. “You’re pretty badass though, kid. You know that? You ran like the wind.”

  I couldn’t help but smile now at the absurdity of it. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

  “Hey, you made the right call,” Dom insisted. “I would have been screaming my head off. Brit would probably have taken me down in about two seconds.”

  “Can you imagine her taking anyone down?” I said. “She probably weighs 120, soaking wet.”

  “Yeah, but her stare can kill,” Dom said.

  I laughed. “Tell me about it.”

  I was glad that I could finally take some levity from everything I had recently been through. Dom had been there from the beginning of this crazy summer, and being able to talk to him made the burden feel less heavy.

  “So what’s the deal with Grayson?” Dom finally asked. I couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses, which were focused on the road anyway.

  I looked out the window, squinting in the sunlight. “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “He’s pretty torn up over Henry. Doesn’t know what’s up or what’s down anymore, I guess.”

  “Yeah, I get that,” Dom said. He paused before asking his next question. “Does Grayson know? About us?”

  I wasn’t quite sure what part about “us” Dom was referring to, but it didn’t matter. “Yes,” I said. “He knows all of it. Don’t worry though. He won’t tell anyone.”

  “Not worried,” Dom said, his voice even. “Grayson’s a good guy.”

  We didn’t say anything more on that topic.

  When we finally pulled up to the Select Recruits building, it took me a moment to realize where we were. I felt like I was a million miles away from when I first entered this nondescript building.

  “Ready to talk to with Manuel?” Dom asked, opening the door for me.

  “Ugh,” I said. “I guess. Bring me to the puppet master.”

  When we got up to the 9th floor, Scarlett greeted us.

  “Mr. Gonzalez will see you now,” she said as she escorted us to the same conference room where I had first met Dom.

  We sat at the large table waiting. Finally, Manuel came in, dressed in a black suit with a red tie.

  “Ariel,” he said, reaching out to shake my hand. I reluctantly returned his handshake.

  Had my own handshake gotten weaker? I felt weaker. I felt as though my bones were less dense somehow, my confidence worn.

  “Dom has filled us in on all of your, um, adventures.”

  “You could call them that,” I said coldly, reverting to the tone I always seemed to take with Manuel. I suspected I needed somewhere to direct my frustration and anger, and Manuel was the easiest target. It wasn’t necessarily fair to him, but it was what it was.

  “So,” Manuel said, clicking his pen, reading to write on a blank writing pad. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

  “Not now,” I said.

  “Okay,” said Manuel, putting away his pen. “What do you want to talk about then?”

  “Well, for starters, you can tell me who I can blame for having a gun pulled on me,” I said.

  “Ariel,” Dom warned.

  “No, it’s okay,” Manuel said. “Dom told me about that. I’m very sorry that happened to you, Ariel. As I told you when we were first in this room, unpredictable and unexpected things can happen when you’re out in the field…

  “No,” I said forcefully. “Someone from Select Recruits tipped off John Matheson that there was a person, or persons, watching Henry.”

  Manuel raised his eyebrows. “Well, this is news to me,” he said. “I don’t think anyone in our office--”

  “Just thought you should know,” I said, leaning back in my chair. I had a feeling I would never know who it was. And it didn’t even matter. That was the way the world worked—people traded in secrets. They reveled in them. If someone had valuable information, there was always someone willing to pay.

  “We will definitely look into it,” Manuel promised. I had a feeling that he would actually investigate; he didn’t seem the type to be okay with leaks.

  “Hey Dom, would you mind leaving Manuel and I alone for a minute?” I asked.

  Dom looked at me. “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Okay,” he replied. “I’ll be right outside.”

  I studied Manuel’s face. As soon as the glass door closed, I asked him. “Why did you hire me?”

  He was calm, not fazed by my question. “Well, as I told you when we first met, we do extensive background checks, and your name came up—“

  “Bullshit.” I said. I was silent, wanting to make him uncomfortable.

  “I’m not sure what you’re looking for, exactly, Ariel—“ he said.

  “Manuel,” I said. “Just tell me.”

  He looked down at the table, then back in my eyes. He let out a deep sigh.

  “You know I’m not really supposed to talk about it,” he said.

  I rolled my eyes. “Come on,” I said. “Who am I going to tell?”

  He paused, weighing his options. “This doesn’t leave this room.”

  “Fine,” I said. “Just. Tell. Me.”

  “I knew your mother,” he finally said. “I worked with her at the CIA.”

  I nodded. I already knew this, somehow; I just needed him to say it.

  “When I found out about her disappearance, I—I was beside myself. Of course, I can’t imagine what you and your father went through, but as soon as you both came to the U.S., I asked to meet with your father. To give my condolences.”

  I nodded, encouraging him to continue.

  “You were little at the time. About 5, I think? But he told me about you. Told me that you had ‘it,’ that he thought you could do something someday, to help better the world. I was taken aback. Cynthia had just gone missing, and I would have thought he would want to keep you from that life, but…”

  “And here we are.”

  Manuel gave a wry smile. “And here we are. I thought of you all often, and when I found out you were in Virginia, well…I thought it couldn’t hurt to see how you would like a taste of this life.”

  I scoffed. “’Couldn’t hurt?’ This all isn’t a harmless game.”

  Manuel looked at me intensely. “I know,” he said. “Trust me. I know that. More than anybody.”

  I looked down and swallowed, trying not to think of my mother, and of the bizarre way my father seemed to be convinced my entire life that I was destined to be a field agent like them.

  “One last thing,” I looked at Manuel. “I want my bonus. In full.”

  He smiled. “It’s a deal,” he said. “If you agree to give us a full briefing—every detail.”

  I nodded. “Tomorrow,” I said. “I need some rest first.”
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br />   “Okay,” Manuel said.

  He stood up, collecting his papers.

  “One last thing,” I said. “Just out of curiosity.”

  “I can’t promise that I can answer,” he said.

  “I know,” I said. “But it would help. I want to know: Who was your client? I know I wasn’t the SEC.”

  Manuel sighed. “Well, now that this whole debacle is nearly over, I suppose you can know that as well. It was a private citizen. Someone with a lot of money in Matheson Investments—they knew things were going under, and wanted to track down any diverted funds before John Matheson caught on to the feds. You were sent in there to protect the investors, Ariel. Normal people whose retirement savings and lives are being ruined by the Mathesons.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure it was all about the ‘investors’ and not just one ‘investor.’”

  “Ariel, in this world,” Manuel said, a sad look on his face, “you take what you can get when you’re trying to do good. Idealism has no place in our business.”

  Manuel left the room, and I sunk into my chair. Maybe he was right. To be a man in his position, you had to make compromises, moral bargains. Perhaps anyone with power in this world had to do that.

  I didn’t really know. I just knew that I didn’t want to be one of those people.

  CHAPTER 47

  I spent the next day in D.C., debriefing Select Recruits, and hanging out with Dom. He was headed to Boston soon to start his new job.

  “Come visit whenever you want,” he offered, seeing me off before I drove back down to Charlottesville. “When you come to see your aunt. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

  “Never,” I said. I didn’t think it would be so hard to say goodbye to Dom. I don’t think either of us thought of kissing each other, or anything intimate—it was as if we had passed that and reached a new stage.

  As soon as I was back in Charlottesville, I made sure to keep myself busy with plans. I worked, talked to Sarah on the phone, and spent time with my local friends, including Monika (who was incredulous that I had not only dated, but broken up with two men over the summer).

  Grayson had called a few times since I left the Vineyard. I let all of his calls go to voicemail. I listened to every one—over and over—but never called him back.

  I flew up to visit my aunt Sarah about once every two weeks. I couldn’t believe it, but she was slowly improving. I knew the cancer was terminal, but her quality of life had improved so dramatically that she was back at work, and I no longer felt the need to go up every other week, especially once the semester started again.

  The fall of Matheson Investments was all over the news. I read it obsessively, poring over every detail of John’s arrest. On the day of Brit’s arrest, soon after returning from D.C., I received a text from Dom.

  “Brit,” was all the text had read.

  There was less on Brit’s arrest. She wasn’t mentioned as the fiancée of John’s son, and the reports on her were brief. Like John, she was out on bail, but in hiding.

  The gossip magazines speculated as the extent of Henry’s involvement in his father’s Ponzi scheme. His two brothers had also avoided arrest, but no one really knew the full involvement of each of the family members. News spread like wildfire when someone leaked to the media that Henry would testify against his father at the trial; over time, though, updates on the scandal became less and less frequent.

  I still thought a lot about what happened, though. I became even more determined in my PhD program. I knew that this was the life I wanted. I never wanted to involve myself in the kind of mess that I had been in. I sought out learning new things, it was in my DNA, and my search for my brother had only strengthened my thirst for truth. But I knew now that I needed to channel this desire into my research—not chasing ghosts or having dreams of being a field agent.

  Along with the sense of peace that came over me, another funny thing happened. Randomly, one night, I received a text from Grayson. It just said one thing:

  “I’m sorry.”

  I decided to reply back. I didn’t have any anger towards Grayson anymore. When I thought about him, it was like touching a sore bruise, but sometimes, I couldn’t help myself.

  “It’s okay,” I replied.

  From there, Grayson asked me how I was doing. The conversations started off casual. Somehow, we started talking on the phone again. We didn’t talk about what had happened. The conversations revolved around our work, our family, and funny things that had happened to us.

  It was mid-October, when the air was crisp and the leaves a blush red, that Grayson showed up at my apartment.

  CHAPTER 48

  I smiled. “Did you find the place okay?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said. “Cute apartment.”

  “Thanks,” I said. I suddenly felt awkward. Even though we had reconnected over text and the phone, it felt like new territory, being here in person with him again. We hadn’t discussed where he was staying. In fact, the whole visit was arranged over a quick exchange—Grayson asked if he could come see me, and I said yes.

  “Can I take you out to dinner?” Grayson asked. I finally looked at him, letting myself drink in the entirety of his presence. He looked even better than I remembered. He was wearing dark jeans with a crisp white shirt, his hair styled to the side in effortless waves. He hadn’t shaved since last night, I guessed; his dark stubble was peeking through his smooth skin.

  I averted my eyes, trying to not stare.

  “Well, I’m not sure I can go out looking like this,” I said. I was being silly, and I knew it. I had dressed up for him. Of course I had. I had worn a flattering blue dress and spent too long in the bathroom doing my makeup.

  “You look amazing,” he said. “If you want to change, it’s fine by me, but you really don’t need to.”

  I smiled. “Okay,” I said. “If you say so.”

  To my surprise, Grayson had made reservations at a fancy steakhouse in downtown Charlottesville. I knew I shouldn’t think about it, but I still worried. It was expensive for him to come down to Virginia, and I didn’t want him to have to pay for a nice dinner. We weren’t in the Vineyard anymore, being bankrolled by Henry and his rich posse.

  Over dinner, we talked, falling effortlessly into our old patterns of conversation. It felt so normal, so right, that part of me wished he hadn’t come. It would make his departure that much more painful.

  As we finished our steak, Grayson took my hand in his.

  “Ariel,” he said. “I need to talk to you about what happened.”

  I nodded. I knew this was coming.

  “I was a fool,” he said. “An absolute idiot. I let the pain and shock of what had happened—and nothing even happened to me; you were more the victim than I ever was—get in the way of something great. Because I know, I know that you are special. I knew it then. And I don’t know why…”

  I stopped him. “Grayson,” I said. “It’s okay. Really. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt, devastated even. But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, that can just leave when something happens…”

  “Ariel,” he said, shaking his head. “I know, I know that. Which is why I want to prove to you…why I have to prove to you, if you’ll let me—that I will never leave. I think it didn’t seem real at the time, how serious we could be so quickly, but we were, because we just fit. But I had lumped in everything that happened this summer together, and it’s taken me time to finally untangle it all. I know it shouldn’t have taken me that long, and I will never forgive myself. I haven’t seen anybody since you, and I don’t want to see anybody. I want you, only you, if you’ll have me. I understand if you don’t.”

  Grayson looked almost sickly, he was sweating. His face was pleading, and it was adorable.

  I didn’t know if Grayson was right, that he would never want to leave again. And the logical part of my brain told me to tell him no. I had always prided myself on making rational decisions—well, most of the time�
��and letting him back into my life probably wasn’t rational.

  But none of that mattered. The truth was, I loved him. I didn’t tell him that, not yet, but my love for him was so deep and natural that to deny his request to be with me would be like denying air. I had the power to say no—and every right to—but I didn’t want to say no.

  “Grayson,” I said, letting the words spill out. “It takes me awhile to trust. And frankly, you broke my trust. So just be aware that I’m a cautious person, so it may take some time. But the truth is—you’re my person. You’ll always be my person.”

  His concerned mouth turned up at the corners. I brought my fingers to one of the lines next to his mouth, tracing its length. He kissed his lips on my fingertip, and looked at me with eyes that made it difficult to stay still in my seat.

  We talked more about the logistics of our relationship. We both wanted to get back to my apartment, but it was important for me to figure out how we could make this work.

  “There are plenty of direct flights from New York to Charlottesville, and I will come see how as often as I can,” he said.

  “Grayson,” I said, “I appreciate that, but…can we really afford that? So many frequent trips. I do have the money from the job this summer, though, so that could help…”

  He shook his head. “I don’t spend much,” he said. “But it’s worth it. There is one more thing...”

  “What?” I asked.

  Grayson squirmed in his seat. “I hope you’re not mad at me, but…”

  I gave him a concerned look. “What did you do?”

  “Well, there is a high demand for teachers in this area…not Charlottesville, but places close by, like Louisa County, Lexington…so, I uh, I set up some interviews for while I’m down here visiting.”

  “Grayson Foster!” I said, shocked. “That was bold of you.”

  He looked almost shameful. “I knew you might turn me down,” he said. “And even if you do want to get back together, you might not want me to move closer or anything. But, I thought it couldn’t hurt to at least consider it, and I could always tell them no—if they were interested, of course…”