by Natasja Eby
Instead, he says, “That’s fine then. I’ve got some work around here for you. Been meaning to clean out the chimney so we can use it during the winter.”
I smile. At least he’s still expecting me to stay for the whole winter. “I can do that,” I say.
“And we’ll need to tidy up the guest room a bit for your friends,” he says.
“Oh, right,” I say. “Red and Zara.”
He raises his eyebrows. “You didn’t tell me it would be a boy and a girl. You make the other bed in the loft and we’ll get that room prettied up for Zara.”
“Of course,” I say flatly.
It hadn’t occurred to me I’d be sharing my loft with Red. What a crazy idea that was, asking Red to come all the way out here. Even crazier that he said yes. What if he comes all this way only to discover that I’m still the same terrible person he punched in the face a few months ago?
***
That night, I decide I’m “well enough” to go to my Get Dry meeting. I have to get through those meetings anyway and I figure that maybe I can re-explain myself to Brooke. But to my great disappointment, she doesn’t show up.
I try to be polite and actually listen to everyone else talk. But in my head, I’m on the rink, skating in the most elegant way. Spinning, jumping, looping... Falling in love. I let out a big long sigh before I can stop myself.
“Do you have something you’d like to share?” Dawson asks gently.
I look up at him and then at Lou and the others. They’re waiting patiently, just like I did when it was their turn. I almost want to say no, but I owe them more than that.
“Yeah,” I say, trying to look them all in the eye. “I’m really glad I was forced into these meetings. I know it took me a while to warm up.” I stop and smile when a couple of them chuckle. “But I also know I wouldn’t have gotten this support back home. I would have kept doing the same things I’ve always done with the same people. I would have just gotten worse and worse. I’m glad that’s not the case.”
Dawson smiles and nods. “Thank you for that.”
“Thank you,” I say.
When the meeting is over, I help put chairs away and linger a little longer. When I see mostly everyone is gone, I ask Dawson, “Do you know if Brooke is okay?”
His eyebrows furrow. “Supposedly she was feeling sick today. But I figured you knew that since you two seemed like you were becoming quite close.”
I swallow back a guilty lump in my throat. “We...we were. I haven’t seen her in a couple of days, so I didn’t know.”
His eyebrows get even more scrunched up. “I see.”
“It’s complicated,” I say, even though I don’t owe him an explanation.
“I understand,” he says. He hesitates like he has more to say, so I wait for him. “You know, Brooke’s lost a lot of friends over the past year. And when she lost her friends, she lost her whole world.”
I nod. “She told me about the Olympics. I can imagine how painful that is for her.”
“And I think that’s why she likes being with you so much,” he says, surprising me. “Because you understand her. And you like what she likes. That’s a bonus for her.”
“I guess,” I say with a shrug. “I’m not sure she likes me as much as you think, though.”
Dawson smiles, his eyes crinkling up mysteriously. “I don’t know what’s in her mind. But I’ve known Brooke her whole life and she’s really picky about...”
“About?” I prompt.
His smile grows. “Boys.”
“Oh,” I say, laughing a little. “Could have fooled me. She’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel with me.”
This time he laughs out loud while I try to figure out whether or not to be offended. “Well, I don’t think that’s true. In any case, she probably likes having a friend who’s not going to leave like the others.”
My heart sinks. He obviously doesn’t know that that’s exactly what I’ll have to do, sooner or later. And therein lies the problem. Maybe that’s why Brooke reacted the way she did when I told her I might go home soon. She was protecting herself.
I hate that.
***
I spend the next day cleaning the house, making the extra bed in the loft, and dusting the spare bedroom. Even though Red told me they’d be in late, I’m still anxiously waiting throughout the whole day.
When the doorbell rings, I jump up from the couch. With a shaky hand, I open the front door. There’s Red Jackson, still super tall and buff and looking like he might want to hit me for somewhat valid reasons.
Then he lifts an eyebrow and says, “Are you going to let us in?”
“Of course,” I say hastily, stepping back to let them in.
Red’s carrying a large suitcase, which I take from him to set farther inside. A pretty girl with dark curly hair and follows behind with a small bag and a smile on her face.
“I’ll get the rest,” Red says just before heading back outside.
They’re only staying for two weeks, so I’m not sure how much is left. But I’m not going to complain. Instead, I say, “You must be Zara.”
She smiles at me, her straight, white teeth a contrast to her skin. “That’s me.” She reaches down to take her boots off. “And you must be Adrian. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh...” I say slowly.
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t all bad. Where should I put this?” she asks, holding up her bag.
“I’ll show you the guest bedroom,” I say, instead of asking what kinds of things she’s heard about me. It doesn’t matter anyway. I have no pride left.
Red comes back in with two more suitcases. “What is all this stuff?” I ask.
He rolls his eyes. “Zara wasn’t sure which of her outfits she might need. Or which makeup. Or which workout clothes. I think she brought them all.”
“No, I left a few at home,” she says nonchalantly.
“I’m sure there’s something here that’ll work,” I say diplomatically. “So... There’s an extra bed in the loft for Red. You guys are probably tired, so I’ll...let you get settled in.”
I know I’m not winning any awards for host of the year, but I also just don’t know what to do with them right now. They don’t complain anyway as I go up to the loft to give them some privacy. That doesn’t matter much since the sound carries so well in this old house.
“I love you,” Red’s soft voice says. I can’t believe that’s the same guy who can demolish every single opponent he faces in the ring.
“I love you, too, babe,” Zara says in just as gentle a tone.
There’s a silence during which I can only guess they’re kissing. I decide that maybe they need a touch more privacy and sneak down to the back door.
Just as I’m getting my boots on, Red says, “Hey, Adrian’s grandpa told me there’s a really great breakfast place close by. Wanna go in the morning?”
“Sure,” Zara says brightly. “Have a good sleep.”
I slip out the back door, wondering exactly how Red managed to get a girl so excited about breakfast. The air is still tonight, a nice break from all the wind and snow we’ve had recently. The door opens and closes behind me but I don’t look to see who it is.
“What are you doing out here?” There’s the rough boxer that I know. “It’s freaking cold out.”
I smile. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep before your date in the morning?”
Red steps in front of me, his eyes narrowed. His face softens but he doesn’t quite smile. “You heard all that?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “The sound carries inside. Sorry.”
“It’s alright,” he says as he looks up at the dazzling night sky. “It’s not like it’s a secret that she’s my girlfriend.”
“She seems great,” I say—mostly because I don’t want to get punched.
He nods and his face brightens with a rare smile. “She’s the reason we’re here, you know.”
“Yeah, I’ll remember to t
hank her.”
We fall silent. A little wind picks up but it’s not enough to cut through my coat.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “You sounded...broody on the phone.”
I laugh. “As opposed to...?”
“As opposed to— Ah! It’s Adrian McDuff, Bridgetown MVP and heartthrob,” he says with added flair.
I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’re Bridgetown’s MVP.”
“I’m pretty sure Julian stole that from both of us,” he says with laughter.
He doesn’t sound the least bit bitter when he says it. But for me, it drives a knife into my heart.
“Among other things,” I mutter.
“He didn’t steal your girlfriend, Adrian,” he says, the lightness gone from his voice. “As if Elli’s something you can just lose, or steal, or trade like a hockey card. Come on.”
“I get it, okay?” I shove my hand through my hair with a bit too much force. “I was joking.”
“Alright, so why are you all depressed and stuff?” he asks.
I blow out a deep breath as a few lazy snowflakes start to fall from the sky. “Why are you pushing me?”
“I feel bad for you,” he surprises me by saying. No mincing words with Red. “I’ve never seen you look so...so...desolate.”
I look at him, raising my eyebrow. “Desolate? Geez, who are you?”
“What?”
“You are not the Red who broke my nose,” I say.
“And you’re not the Adrian who deserved it,” he shoots back.
So, I guess we’re just going to do this right now. On my Pops’s back deck, in the snow and cold. I turn to him fully, putting my hands up. “You know, I didn’t mean to hurt her that badly.”
His eyes widen innocently. “And I didn’t mean to hurt you that badly,” he says calmly.
I’m not sure how to respond to that. “Then why’d you hit me so hard?”
“I’m a boxer.” He stares at me like I’m crazy. “I don’t know how to hit softly. I did you a favour, though. Julian wouldn’t have held back.”
A part of me thinks that he’s wrong about that. Julian is mild-mannered and non-confrontational. Then again, he did win a huge boxing tournament and Elli’s heart. So, maybe I’m the one who’s wrong.
“Well, thank you so much,” I say. “You know, I did you a favour, too. My parents wanted to charge you for assault and I convinced them to go for the restraining order instead.”
“Oh,” he says like he really had no idea. “Well, um...thank you. Why’d you do that?”
I sigh and look away. “I didn’t want to be the guy that gave another guy that much trouble over a broken nose. I’m not stupid, you know. I wasn’t about to commit social suicide after everything else.”
He’s quiet. It’s cold. I’m tired. But I can’t leave the conversation like this. I don’t know why, but it bothers me to think he might still see me as the rotten guy I used to be. I don’t want to be him anymore.
“Look, I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done,” I say into the quiet night air. “But I’m...changing.” That sounds lame, even to me.
“I get that,” he says quietly.
“You do?”
“Of course.” He shrugs and shifts uncomfortably as the snowfall thickens. “I mean, my best friend is a guy I bullied for years. You don’t think I still feel guilty over that?”
I look into his dark, serious eyes. He’s right about Julian. Neither of us was all that kind to him throughout high school. Even when I helped him train, I couldn’t help feeling jealous and resentful.
But I want to be better. I’m tired of resentment.
“You know what? It’s all in the past now,” I say. “Even if you didn’t come for me, I’m glad you’re here. I appreciate it.”
“Come on, I came for you, too,” he says, elbowing me. “’Cause you were all sad sounding.”
I smile. “Well, thanks for coming to cheer me up.”
“Great. Can we get out of the cold now?”
I take him back inside and lead him to the loft. “There’s extra blankets. It gets drafty up here.”
He takes the blankets I hand him. “Thanks. You want to come for breakfast tomorrow?”
I start to shake my head but I recognize the olive branch he’s offering me. “Maybe if I’m up.”
“And Brooke,” he adds.
“Yeah, maybe if she’s up.”
Red gets into his bed and soon after, he’s breathing deeply. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about how he just invited me to a double date with my not-girlfriend who I’m terrified of telling my feelings to.
I’ve never had a problem telling someone how I felt about them. But it hasn’t always worked out for me, has it?
CHAPTER twenty
Brooke
Adrian texts me early in the morning, saying that he and his friends are going for breakfast at Mrs. Claus’s Kitchen. Do I want to come? The friends want to know.
Well, the invitation didn’t come from him. And why would it? It’s not like we’re dating. We haven’t even talked to each other in days. I want to say no but I also want to meet Adrian’s not-friends who are also not skaters.
Me: See you there.
Adrian:
I roll my eyes. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.
I quickly get dressed and head to the cute little diner on Mission Street. When I get there, I see Adrian sitting in a booth across from a super buff guy and his super hot girlfriend. At least, I’m assuming that’s his girlfriend by the way his arm is resting across her shoulders. They’re both drinking coffee.
But not Adrian.
As if he could just sense me staring at the back of his beautiful head, he turns around, sees me, and smiles. I want to turn and go, but then he waves me forward.
“Hey,” I say, sitting next to him.
“This is Brooke,” Adrian says, motioning to me. “She’s really the mastermind behind the show.”
My cheeks warm at the way he introduces me. “And you are?”
“Red,” the guy says, removing his arm from the girl’s shoulders to offer me his hand.
I shake it. He’s got a firm, confident grip.
“And I’m Zara,” the girl says.
She shakes my hand, too, and I’m surprised when her grip is just as strong as his. Then my gaze travels up her arms to her pretty face. She’s got a good set of muscles. They both do. Maybe this could actually work if they’re great dancers and decent skaters.
Before I can ask any more questions, a waitress comes by with plates of food. She sets down a plate in front of everyone, including me.
“Oh, I didn’t order this,” I say to her while I try to hand it back.
“No, I did,” Adrian says. He nods to the waitress. “Thanks.” After she walks away, he says, “It’s an everything plate because I didn’t know what you would want and I figured I’d just...fight Red for the leftovers or whatever.”
“You must really like losing fights,” Red mutters before shoving a forkful of home fries into his mouth.
I look down at my plate. There’s definitely too much food here, but it all looks delicious. And it was sweet of Adrian to think of me. I push aside the bacon and sausages and go for the eggs.
“What do you two do?” I ask. “Adrian was kind of vague about you guys.”
Adrian and Red look up at each other, an unspoken moment passing between them. Zara, either not caring or not noticing, answers instead.
“Red’s a boxer. But he and I also work as recruiters for this dance studio in town,” she says.
“Meaning what?” Adrian asks, confirming my suspicions that they aren’t really close friends of his.
“We travel with a troupe and do performances,” she explains. “Usually for schools or at least school-aged kids so we can garner interest in the studio’s dance lessons.”
I look back and forth between her and Red. Despite the way he’s shoveling down his food, he’s quite attractive and I’ll bet anything
they look good together on a stage.
“Oh, I get it,” I say. “You do sexy dances in hopes that more boys will sign up for lessons.”
“Well...” Zara drawls while Red nods silently, his mouth evidently full. Neither of them denies it and I can’t help but smile.
Adrian chuckles. “Well, well, well. Who knew you’d be doing that someday, Red?”
Red looks up sharply and scowls at Adrian. “I could break your nose again, if you’d like.”
Adrian gives him a tight smile while I’m reeling over that comment. “No, thanks.”
“Wait,” I say. “You’re the guy that broke Adrian’s nose?”
Red shrugs.
“In any case,” Zara says, and I can tell she knows the whole story, too, “the studio’s already seen a rise in their male-to-female ratio.”
“Then you’re obviously doing something right,” I say.
She smiles sweetly. “I like to think so. And I can’t wait to skate with you. Adrian told us you’re like super good.”
“I’m good enough,” I say quietly. Adrian elbows me but I’m not getting into the whole thing right now.
“She’s great,” Adrian says.
“And what’s the pageant all about?” Red asks with his mouth full.
At least he saved me from starting an argument with Adrian. “Well, Adrian’s playing Santa. I’m playing...um...”
“Mrs. Claus,” Adrian says.
My face flushes, which is ridiculous. It’s not like it means we’re really married or something. “Right. And then some of the kids are elves and some are just regular kids. And then there’s Mary and Joseph.”
“Wait,” Red says, holding up a hand. “You have a Santa, and Mary and Joseph?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding. “There’s even a baby Jesus, but he’s just a doll. Every year, Santa visits Mary and Joseph to bring Jesus a special gift.”
“That’s some strange lore,” Red says with his face all scrunched up.
I laugh while Zara smacks him on the arm. “It is strange,” I say. “But honestly, that’s what people like about it. Welcome to Christmastown. We love all things Christmas.”
“Well, I think it’s sweet,” Zara says. “And where does Mrs. Claus play into that?”