Sinclair and Raven Series: Books 1-3
Page 49
But if he offered for her, could she accept? Would he let her continue with her children, or try to stop her going to Temple Street? Would he try to control her? Did she want to marry him?
Yes.
Oh Lord, she had complicated the entire situation by falling in love with Devon and then making love to him. She did love him, and that was a revelation, because Lilly had thought herself incapable of the emotion.
But if she wed him then surely it would be better for her, as he too had heightened senses, and would understand what she was capable of.
Knowing she could not stay in this room indefinitely she gave Toby a final look to check he still slumbered, before quietly slipping out the door.
“Good morning, Miss Braithwaite. My name is Buttles, and if you will follow me I will escort you to the breakfast parlor.”
Lilly gave an unladylike squeal as the butler appeared suddenly before her. “I-I did not hear you, sir.”
“Please forgive me, Miss Braithwaite, I have been told I am very light-footed.”
“Surely an excellent thing if you are a butler.” Lilly fell in behind the very straight back of Buttles.
She took the time to steady her nerves and look around her cousin's home. She saw touches of Eden everywhere in the flowers and furnishings. Dark paneling was complemented with pale walls and lovely paintings. Rich carpets muffled her footsteps.
“It is a very nice home, Buttles.”
“The Duchess has an eye for color, Miss Braithwaite, and with help from Lady Samantha and Miss Emily, she has brought the house to life once more.”
Lilly smiled. It was nice to hear how proud he was of both the house and the family who resided in it, and again it made her feel sad that such warmth and love did not fill her brother's house.
The hum of voices told her they had reached their destination.
“Thank you, Buttles, I will be fine now.”
“Very well, Miss Braithwaite.”
Lilly watched the butler leave. Running her hands down the skirts of the dress Eden had lent her, she hoped she could get through the next few minutes without making a fool of herself. Rubbing her forehead, she wondered briefly if the words Scarlet Woman were written all over it, because surely if she so much as glanced Devon's way everyone would know what lay between them. Dear Lord, imagine if he saw it too, saw with his sharp eyes the love she felt for him. Perhaps she should simply leave, without anyone realizing? Yes. Lilly turned; she would—
“And where are you going? The breakfast room is this way, Lilly.”
When she turned back, she found Devon now standing in the doorway.
“I, ah, I thought to....”
“Leave?”
The bruise on his jaw looked angry this morning.
“No, I had—Yes, I was going to leave.”
“Why?”
He didn't touch her, and for that she was grateful. He destroyed her concentration.
“I feel like everything has changed now, as if I have lost control and don't know how to regain it.”
“I will help you if you'll let me.”
“I'm not sure how to do that, don't you see?”
He moved closer, and Lilly fought the urge to retreat.
“I don't, actually.” He touched her cheek. “You're not alone now, sweetheart. We will work it out between us.”
Shaking her head, Lilly tried to dislodge his hand from her face, but it simply slipped to her shoulders. “Please, Devon.”
“Please Devon, what?” he said, pulling her slowly toward him.
“I must learn how to deal with all of this now. There is so much to take in. Plus, those children are still missing and I must find out who has taken them—”
“You will not be doing that alone, Lilly. I need your assurance on that.”
“I am no fool.”
“If that were true, why did you go to Lady Jane Street when you knew that note was not from Toby?”
“I had to.”
“No, you didn't. It would have been a simple task to send me word of where you were heading.”
“I am not used to consulting others about my actions.”
“However, you will get used to it,” he said, giving her a final tug so she fell against him. “And I won't let you run from me now, not after last night.”
“There is so much to take in,” Lilly whispered again. “What you told me and what I have learned about myself—”
“May I enquire what is going on in my hallway?” James drawled, appearing behind Devon.
“Your cousin was about to run away, and I was attempting to dissuade her.”
“Was she just. We cannot have that,” James added. “There is now danger out there for you, Lilly. You will be running nowhere. Measures need be taken to keep you safe.” He ignored Lilly's scowl. “Bring her into the breakfast room, Sinclair. We need to talk.”
“And I have no say in the matter?” Lilly said loudly.
“None,” both men replied.
Devon led her into the room behind James. Around the table sat Eden and two others; Lilly guessed they were her cousins.
“Samantha, Emily, this is your cousin Lilly,” James said.
“Hello, Lilly,” the youngest said. She was blonde and blue-eyed with ringlets with a big floppy yellow bow tied in her hair.
“Hello, Miss Braithwaite.” Lilly knew with just a glance that Emily was not quite as comfortable in this setting as her younger sister. She remembered James telling her she was his half sister, the bastard child of his father. She was thin—too thin, Lilly thought, looking at her wrists, and her gray eyes looked weary as they looked from James to Eden and then back to Lilly.
“Please call me Lilly, Emily, especially as we are family.” The girl nodded, yet remained silent, once again lowering her eyes to her plate.
Yielding to the pressure on her arm, Lilly fell into the chair Devon directed her to. “There is no need to use force, my lord. A simple, ‘have a seat,’ would have sufficed.”
“Of course it would, and that's why you were running out the front door like a scared rabbit,” he said, moving to the sideboard.
Lilly watched as he loaded two plates. He then returned, lowering one before her and placing the other in front of the seat to her left.
“Be a good girl, Lilly, and eat now. Talk later,” James said.
“Yes, do as your cousin says,” Devon added.
She was not usually rebellious, as it got her nowhere with her brother. But call it tiredness, or uncertainty. The last few days were obviously taking their toll on her sanity, as Lilly poked out her tongue—and instantly regretted it as Samantha clapped and giggled. Eden hooted with laughter and even Emily made a small snuffling sound.
“Lord save me from impertinent females.” James winked at his sisters as he spoke, and then grabbing his wife's chin, he kissed her loudly on the mouth.
Lilly’s jaw dropped at the display of emotion. She had always believed James was like her, someone who kept their emotions firmly in check at all times.
“Eat, cousin.” James gave her a gentle smile of understanding.
“I visited Toby this morning, Lilly. He said he would teach me to use a slingshot.”
“Not until he is stronger, Samantha,” James said, which again surprised Lilly, as surely Toby was not fit company for the sister of a duke, not to mention that a slingshot was hardly ladylike.
“When will he be stronger, James?”
“When he is.”
“What sort of answer is that, husband?” Eden said.
“The only one she's getting until we are sure he is healed.”
“One more sleep, Samantha, and he should be fine,” Dev said.
Lilly felt his fingers brush hers as he reached for his cup, and hated her betraying shiver.
“You will not fire a slingshot inside these walls, Samantha. There will be a target set up out in the gardens for you. Furthermore, Buttles will not be used for practice.”
“Yes, James,”
Samantha said, looking sincere. However, Lilly wasn't so sure; the child had a look in her eyes she had seen in the children she knew a time or two.
“It appears we are in time to partake of breakfast. Excellent, I am famished.”
Lilly watched Cambridge and Essex Sinclair walk into the room. Essex took the seat to Lilly's right, while Cambridge wandered to the sideboard to raise the lids and sniff. Now that Lilly knew about his nose she understood why, although he did look remarkably like a hound.
“I suppose he just had a full breakfast less than an hour ago,” Eden said, looking at her sister.
“Of course,” Essie said, pouring tea.
“Hollow legs,” Dev grunted.
“Another stunning dress, Emily. I shall sit here and bask in your beauty,” Cam said, taking the seat beside James's sister.
“If my dress does not meet your high standards, sir, it is of no concern to me. Furthermore, you should have a care not to poke out your eyes with those ridiculously high points should you turn too quickly.”
“They are always like this,” Dev said in Lilly's ear, as she studied the previously quiet girl and Cam. “From their first meeting they have antagonized each other, and while initially James and I tried to stop them squabbling, he now leaves them to it, as it is the only time Emily appears to come out of her shell.”
Lilly turned to face Devon before she spoke. “It must be hard for her though, don't you think?”
“Hard in what way?”
His eyes really were startling, green with gold flecks, and they appeared so alive, almost sparkling. “Living this life, knowing—”
“None of us care about Emily's birth, Lilly. She is now just one of us, as are Samantha and James.”
Lilly thought about that as Emily and Cam continued to argue. To love unconditionally as these people obviously did was a rare thing indeed.
“I wear them when I know I am meeting you, Emily. I use them to shield me from your rapier tongue,” Cam said with his mouth full of food.
“You have the manners of a barnyard animal!”
Even Emily's lips twitched as Cam neighed like a horse.
Lilly didn't see the communication, but she was sure there was one between Emily and James, because seconds later she left, taking Samantha with her and leaving Lilly to face the Sinclair/Raven clan. Lord, they were a terrifying group. So vibrant and alive, they made her feel... well, gray and dull.
“As you all know, Lilly healed Toby last night,” Devon said, and Lilly felt the jolt of his words. Looking around the table she saw no censure, only understanding, and some of the tension left her body.
“We also know after last night that someone is trying to harm her, and it is the belief of both James and I that this is due to her investigations into the missing children.”
“You did not tell me you had come to that conclusion.” Lilly looked from Dev to James. “Furthermore, perhaps you should talk to me about these matters before announcing them.”
“Toby told us of this man called Dominus and what he believes he is about.”
“Yes, I knew of him,” Lilly said.
“And yet you did not tell me?”
The dark raised brow indicated Devon was not happy.
“I'm not sure why I would, when at the time we were barely speaking to each other.”
“Bravo,” Eden clapped her hands. “We have an ally, Essie dear. It seems Lilly too will stand up to these dictators should it be required.”
Lilly watched James and Devon sigh.
“We are merely trying to ascertain what is the next step, wife,” James said.
“Excellent, and of course we shall help you with those steps.”
“Obviously,” he drawled.
Lilly felt Dev's fingers stroke the outside of her thigh, and the resulting heat that washed through her made her cheeks flush.
“Lord Braithwaite wishes to speak to Miss Braithwaite, your Grace,” Buttles announced from the doorway.
“Unhand my sister, Sinclair!”
Lilly turned to watch her brother storm into the room; his eyes focused on Devon's hand beneath the table.
“A little late to play the role of big brother, don't you think, Braithwaite?” Devon drawled from beside her.
“Nicholas, why are you here? I told you last night not to return.” Lilly got to her feet to face her brother.
“Why was he touching you?”
She could hardly believe his words. He had cared nothing for her, ever, and now he was the outraged older brother. If she could dredge up a laugh, she would have done so.
“Enough, Nicholas. Unlike you, these people actually care about me and I will not have you coming into our cousin's house and behaving in such a manner. Now leave.”
“I will not leave! Someone must protect your honor.”
“Protect my honor? Where was this protection when you wished to wed me to a man old enough to be my grandfather? Go away, Nicholas. I will be home when I am ready. Tell Aunt Vi not to worry. I am well.”
Lilly looked at Devon as he came to stand at her right. James then moved to her left. It was a show of support and she swallowed down the lump in her throat.
“I have no wish to discuss this here in front of these people. Come, Lilliana, we will leave at once.”
“She is going nowhere with you, Braithwaite. You had your chance to look after her and failed,” Devon growled.
“My office, I think,” James said, leading the way. “Move, Nicholas,” he ordered, and her brother surprisingly did as he asked. “I think we need to clear a few things up before anyone leaves this house.”
“What are we clearing up?” Lilly said, running to keep up with the long strides of the men, who were stalking down the hall before her. No one answered her. Devon, however, stopped, took her hand in his, and led her into James's study.
“Do you trust me?” he said, lowering Lilly into a seat and bracing his arms on either side to look at her.
“I-I, of course.” And she did, Lilly realized, and not because of what had happened between them. She knew that to the toes of his large feet, he could be trusted. He would lay his life down for his family, and she had the feeling he would do the same now for her. It was a humbling thought.
“And I will treasure that gift always, my sweet,” he said, straightening. “Just remember those words.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Had Dev his way, he would have left Lilly with his sisters, and yet he knew she would never have allowed that. She sat, hands folded in her lap, appearing calm on the outside. But he knew her now; she was anything but calm. Her lovely eyes were moving between the three men constantly.
James sat behind his desk, Lilly across from him. Dev paced instead of doing as he wanted: punching Nicholas Braithwaite. Lilly's brother also stood.
After last night, his need for this woman had, if possible, grown. Just looking at her twisted his insides. She looked delicate this morning, her eyes haunted, face fatigued. She wasn't delicate, however. She was strong and resilient.
He'd made love to her last night because he could not resist her. She was a fire inside him now, a part of him. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe. Lilly, of course, would never allow that. She had been protecting herself for some time.
“Firstly, I want to know why you contemplated marrying Lilly to Danderfield. Is it, as Dev suspected, because you need money?”
Devon was pleased to see that at least Nicholas did not lower his eyes when James spoke.
“To my shame, yes, that is the truth.”
James gritted his teeth.
“That is unpardonable, Nicholas. How could you treat your own blood that way? Your parents were good people. You have no excuse for your behavior.”
“I know my behavior has been reprehensible, but I want to change... will change.”
“Yes, well, we’ll deal with your behavior and subsequent debts later. Now is not that time.”
Nicholas Braithwaite's lip was swollen from D
ev's fist yesterday, and he looked different; his eyes had lost their insolence. Today he, like his sister, looked young and uncertain, but Dev had no intention of feeling anything but anger for the man.
“I have made this mess I now stand in. I will deal with it, and my debts.”
“Very noble, I am sure, cousin, but I will not let you fall on your sword when both your sister and aunt rely on you, and you have your parents’ reputations to uphold.”
“One thing has come clear to me, Braithwaite.” Dev entered the conversation, as standing in silence and letting another speak for him had never been something he was comfortable with. “Your sister's life is in danger, and living with you she has no protection. Therefore, she will move in here with James and between us, we will keep her safe.”
“I understand the gravity of what has occurred, Devon,” Lilly said. “I am of course indebted to you all for saving me, but I am sure that as long as I now exercise caution, I will remain safe living in my family home.”
“No you will not, now please be quiet, Lilly, while we discuss this matter further,” Dev said.
“No, I will not be quiet, damn you! Do not speak of me as if I am not seated right here several feet from you.”
“Lilly!” her brother said in shocked tones, which told Dev that Nicholas knew nothing about his sister. She was outspoken when required, and used several curses, also if required, to prove her point.
She spun to her brother. “Don't you dare censure me for using the word damn when you have used that and worse in my presence. You are a drunkard, gambler, and whoring wastrel. At least I can lay claim to doing something worthy with my life.”
Had she sprouted wings and flown across the room, the effect on her brother wouldn’t have been greater.
“I-I know my past behavior has been wrong,” Nicholas said slowly, as he looked at Lilly as one would a fire-breathing dragon. “Yet, I ask that you allow me to make amends.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I want nothing from you.”