Colours In Blackness - A New Life

by Tammy Dunning

CHAPTER NINE

   

   

  “Come on in, doors open.” But then I remember that the doors are always open here. We have locks, but nobody ever locks the doors because if something happens, people need to have access to you, and a locked door makes that really hard to do. This is a hospital after all.

  It isn't Tara, its Laden, the smokin' hot orderly. “Hi. I just want to stop by and check in on you. Can I come in?”

  OhmyGod, mega hot Laden is actually standing in my room. Since the door has a hinge making it close automatically, he's here in my room, alone, with me, with the door closed. “Yeah, come in. Have a seat.” I don't point to the chair or beside me on the bed. I'm not sure where I want him to sit. My heart is pounding. My body’s heating up and I’m getting flush, I can feel it.

  If he sits on the bed, I know that after what happened today, I'll probably try to kiss him. How embarrassing will it be if I make a move on him, and he rejects me because he thinks of me as just a kid? He is older than me after all. Not a lot older, but still.

  Laden takes the chair from my desk and turns it so that he's facing me. The chair is so close to me that when he is sits, our knees are touching.

  He asks, “Can I take your blood pressure and check your heart rate? I don't know if the nurses have explained to you why we're checking so often. They usually don’t explain unless you ask.” When I shake my head ‘no’, Laden continues, “Well, two reasons really. First, we want to make sure you're healthy, and that you stay that way. Second, if we can get any different fluctuations in your vitals charted, maybe we'll know when a vision will happen, and you can prepare yourself for it. That'd be great, huh?"

  Laden looks deeply into my eyes. His baby blues make my stomach flutter. He smiles his sexy smile. Funny thing is, I don’t think he’s trying to smile sexy, his face just is sexy.

  I nod, awkwardly. I wanted to say something like, 'you can check my vitals anytime you'd like' or 'please stay here and never leave', but it only came out sounding like an idiotic grunting exhale. I immediately feel the hot flush of redness overcome my face.

  He smiles again, but quickly drops his eyes and tries to erase his grin, trying not to embarrass me. Laden shuffles with the paperwork and says, "The nurses are really busy today, and since I'm doing my nursing rotation, they asked if I'd help them out by checking your vitals... all the kids on this floor, not just you. If you'd rather have a certified nurse do it, I won't be offended.”

  Of course I want him to take my vitals! I want him to touch me just like he did the last time I saw him. I think my arm is still tingling. “I don't mind. I'm sure you know what you're doing.” Who cares if he knows what he's doing or not. I stick my arm out so that he can wrap the blood pressure thing around my arm, and suddenly realize why he’s fighting off a laugh. So I add quickly, “When you’re taking vitals… I’m sure you know what you’re doing for taking vitals.” I should have just shut up when I had the chance, because a giggle does escape his lips.

  He keeps glancing up after he wraps the pressure cuff around my arm, and begins pumping it up. Our eyes keep meeting every time I try to catch a glimpse of his stunning face, perfect lips or silky golden hair.

  Laden takes the stethoscope out of his ears then he takes off the arm wrap and writes on the clipboard. He stands up and puts the stethoscope ear pieces near his ears. “Can I listen to your heart?” He gestures for me to let him stick the cold stethoscope under my shirt.

  Of course I nod, he is studying to become a nurse, and I should definitely be his practice dummy. My stomach is flipping crazily, and my mind is racing with all kinds of thoughts.

  My face must be blood red. I can just imagine what the readings for my heart rate and blood pressure are. I can feel my heart ready to pound out of my chest. If he stands close enough to me, he won’t even need that stethoscope. I take a few deep breaths, trying to slow it down before he listens.

  He sticks the stethoscope at the top left side of my back, then to the other side. He brings his arm around to the front of my T-shirt.

  Hesitating slightly, he carefully slides his hand and the stethoscope under the collar of my shirt, to the upper right side of my chest. I inhale hard but can't seem to exhale. His touch is so gentle, yet firm. A quiver rushes over me. I close my eyes in an attempt to calm myself down.

  Maybe if I'm not looking at his perfect body leaning over me, and I picture some old ugly doctor guy, then maybe my heart rate will go back to normal. But no, that's obviously not going to happen. I exhale hard, making a weird noise.

  “Take a deep breath for me.” He asks… I comply. He moves over to the upper left side of my chest. “Again…” I inhale again. He moves the stethoscope under my shirt down my left side, just below my breast. “Can you take one more breath for me?” All I can think is 'OhmyGod, maybe'!

  Somehow I manage to inhale once more, so he pulls his hand out of my shirt, then sits back down. He goes to write something down on the clipboard and stops. He looks up at me nervously. “Um, your heart rate is really high. Is that because of me?” He’s looking straight into my eyes so serious, but in a charming, vulnerable way.

  Ok... so, I thought my heart was going to pound out of chest before, well I think it definitely will right now. I can hear it in my ears, loud. “Maybe.” I'm not going to say ‘No’, that will be a lie and I fear he'll know it. I'm suddenly very aware that my eyes are wide open, much larger than normal so I try to adjust, but only end up blinking a few times.

  He lays the clipboard down on the desk, puts his hand on my cheek, and stares into my eyes. He pulls my face towards his. His lips stop about a millimeter from my lips. OhdearGod, please don't let me puke.

  Then our lips touch, soft at first, then he full on kisses me.

  His lips feel exactly as I’d imagined so many times before. I thought they'd feel soft, warm, gentle… I was right. My lips part with his, and we mesh them together. His tongue softly explores my mouth. My tongue tenderly stroking his...

  His chest touches mine as he lays me back onto my bed with him on top of me. Our lips are frantically kissing. My fingers weave their way through his hair. My other arm is tightly wrapped around his shoulder, as though I'm holding him to me, fearful that if I let go, he’ll disappear and this will have only been a dream.

  Is this really happening, or am I imagining this? Holy Crap, I think it's real.

  He supports his weight with his one arm so he doesn't crush me, and his other hand is under me, holding my butt. His body somehow slid in between my legs. His hips are gently rocking. The firmness I feel is a full reminder that he is a man. His hand leaves my ass and slides up under my shirt and under my bra. He shifts his weight then his other hand lifts my shirt. His lips leave mine and kiss down to the base of my neck. Reality slaps me... I don't know if I'm ready for this.

  A knock on the door shatters the moment, and we spring off the bed, both of us frantically trying to compose ourselves. We are both breathing heavily, and trying to gain control of ourselves. I manage to yell out, “I'll be right there.”

  Did that just happen? I almost went to second base in only about five minutes. Ok, so I'm turning into one of 'those' girls. I thought I had more control over myself.

   

  Note to self: Control yourself!

   

  I take a quick look in the mirror as I run my fingers through my hair in a failed attempt to smooth it. I open the door only a bit.

  Todd is standing there. I thought it would be Tara but I can never be that lucky. Please dear God, don't let him feel my emotions. Oh please, oh please. He'll know something's up.

  “Oh, I must have fallen asleep. I'll be out in a minute. Are you headed down to the mess hall?” I don't know what to say. Why is he here anyways?

  “Are you ok? You look flushed. Your anxiety is really high too. Are you having a migraine?” He's looking at me rather intensely, curiously.

  I shake my head, maybe too vigorously. “I'm fine
. No migraine. I was just sleeping and you startled me awake. Why are you here anyways? You shouldn’t be here.” That comes out a little too abruptly. Not my intention.

  “Um, I thought maybe I could come in, and we could talk about what happened in Concentration Class.” Todd's waiting a moment for me to respond, but I don't know what to say to him. “Can I come in? Are you sure you're ok?”

  “No! I mean yes, wait, I'm really alright.” That was a really quick response, too quick. Now he's looking at me weird. What do I say so that he doesn't want to come in. “My room’s a mess, and besides, I don't trust you enough to be alone with you. Not after today. I'm sure you understand why.”

  “Yeah, no problem, I understand. Are we good?” He really does look apologetic. I nod ok. “Good. Ok. I'll see you downstairs for dinner. It's pizza and lasagna night.”

  After I nod again, Todd slowly walks away and I shut the door. That was so close. I inhale and exhale deeply.

  I turn around to see how Laden is doing, but jump when he plants a kiss on me. He was standing right behind me the whole time that I was talking to Todd. No wonder Todd was looking at me so weird, he was probably reading Laden too and had no idea.

  Laden's body pushes me against the door. His hands slide under my butt and lift me up, opening my legs around him. I wrap them tightly around his hips, lacing my feet at his back.

  Laden grinds his pelvis into me. His muscles are flexed and strong, holding me. His lips, warm and velvety, kiss my neck. This is so hot, it's so bad. Naughty! This is so not me!

  I think I'm even more excited just knowing that a simple door is between us and the rest of the world. He can't be seen with me, not like this, he would lose his job and maybe even his career. Not to mention that people would think I'm a slut, after all, I just got here.

  Another knock at the door and I jump and squeal a little. “Laura, it's me, Tara. Are you just about ready?”

  “I need a few minutes. If you want to go on down without me, that's ok, I'll catch up soon.”

  “No, I can wait. Are you getting dressed or can I come in?” Tara is so impatient.

  “I'm getting dressed. Just a second, ok?” I’m desperate to keep her out in the hall.

  Laden puts me down and moves away from the door and whispers, “She's obviously not going to leave without you, so why don't you go and I'll hang out here until I'm sure the coast is clear, then I'll slip out.”

  Sounds like a good plan to me. I run my fingers through my hair, for the second time. I check my make-up and decide to just wipe most of it off; no time to put more on. It doesn’t help when my eyes are red anyway. But when I go to grab the door handle, Laden grabs my hand and pulls me close to him.

  “I'll catch up with you another time. Maybe we can continue where we left off, or we can just hang out.” Laden is sooo hot! I can't believe this is happening. He releases my hand, so I open the door just enough for me to slide out and let it close behind me.

  Dinner was great. Maybe that’s because I’m still super giddy from what happened with Laden. Not only was the food awesome, but I'm getting to know my group of new friends better. I like them, they're fun.

  I'm finally in my room, alone. I have some time to myself. I decide to get caught up on my e-mails. I flip open my computer and wake it from its sleep. I open my social networking account, read up on what my friends are doing, and throw out a few comments on their posts.

  Ronny is the only one who's messaged me through Facebook. Not Brian though. He hasn't changed his status in three days. I think he's avoiding me.

  I fire off a quick note to Ronny, giving him a quick rundown of how it's going here so far, leaving out the part about Laden, of course. He's just worried that I'm lonely, scared or that they're doing weird experiments on me. I let him know that the experiments are performed at a minimum. Then tell him that I'm only kidding, no experiments. I make it a point to tell him that I still have no answers as to why this is happening to me. Hopefully soon I will.

  I open my e-mail account. There are two messages from my mom and one from Brian. I read and reply back to my mom’s e-mails first.

  I’m not going to fill her in on exactly what's going on here. How would I explain it anyways? Oh, by the way Mom, I made out with a hot nurse guy who’s older than me... I don’t think so!

  I open Brian's e-mail and read it. He's breaking up with me. Ok, I know that I shouldn't feel angry or hurt, especially because of the way that I carried on with Laden, but I am. I'm hurt. I e-mail him back saying that I agree with him anyway, and close up my e-mail. I can’t believe he wasn’t even man enough to do it in person… or even over the phone.

  I shut down my computer, then climb into bed, try to put Brian out of my mind, and with the relaxation techniques that I learned, I'm able to force myself to sleep.