Love Me, Crazy

by Laura Burton

  ‘Who died?’ he asked humorously.

  ‘He did, actually,’ I replied, half-laughing. Jack chuckled and started walking to the counter.

  ‘Well, I’m sure you’re going to tell me all about it, let me get a drink, do they do milk shakes here? I need something cold,’ he said as he looked up at the chalkboard above the counter. ‘Ah, I’ll have one of your toffee milkshakes,’ he said to the brunette at the till. She was eyeing Tom slightly unnerved as she nodded towards Jack and took his money. Jack turned to me, his blue eyes searching my face.

  ‘You look troubled,’ he stated, in a low, serious tone. His thick eyebrows were knitted together as he reflected the look on my face. Everything about his face fascinated me.

  ‘I am troubled,’ I agreed, looking back at Tom. He was watching me with a sullen look. Jack took the toffee milkshake off the counter and walked towards Tom at the table.

  ‘Alright mate?’ he asked, Tom gave him a dark look.

  ‘I’m not your mate,’ he answered coldly. Jack looked back at me with a look of amusement as he sat down at the table. I returned to my seat next to Tom and sighed.

  ‘Do you want to tell Jack what’s been going on, or shall I tell him?’ I asked Tom, he shrugged and rounded his shoulders. I looked back at Jack who was sucking on the straw for his milkshake. He swallowed and set the glass down on the table and looked at me expectantly.

  ‘Tom is not a Reverend,’ I began in a patronising voice, looking sideways to Tom as I spoke. Jack made a low ‘Hmm’ sound and took his milkshake off the table again.

  ‘Not surprising, but go on,’ he said before sucking on his straw again. I stared at him for a millisecond and snapped back into conversation,

  ‘Well, he impersonated a Reverend so he could get a job at the school I work in. Then he admitted the truth to me and then told the school that some tragedy took place this morning and he had died,’ I explained, exasperated. Jack laughed.

  ‘You faked your own death? Well that’s impressive,’ he stated. Tom perked up at his positivity.

  ‘It wasn’t very hard,’ he said, ‘I just called the school, pretending to be my brother and explained to the headmistress that I wouldn’t be able to come back to work, because of the accident, people don’t ask for proof when you’re talking about death,’ I shook my head incredulously at him, and Jack remained quiet, eyeing Tom carefully.

  ‘I’m sorry Dee,’ Tom said to me as he took my hand. I pulled my hand away and frowned.

  ‘I think you may need some help,’ I stated slowly. Our intense eye contact was broken by the low rumbling of laughter coming from Jack.

  ‘Well, what are you going to do now?’ he asked Tom, it sounded like a genuine question. Tom gave a small smile.

  ‘I’ve already landed a job in a bank,’ he announced proudly, I rolled my eyes.

  ‘Going to start robbing banks now, are we?’ I asked sarcastically. Tom looked affronted.

  ‘I’m going to be the man you deserve, Dee,’ he said full of earnest. I swallowed and glanced nervously at Jack who was leaning down to reach his bag and pulled out his black laptop. Tom took no notice of Jack and grabbed my hands in his.

  ‘I’m going to be an honest, hard-working person, and you will feel for me, the explosive love that I have for you, and we will marry and-’ Tom’s heartfelt speech was interrupted by a snort coming from Jack. I looked at him; he was looking intently at his laptop screen and started to type quickly on the keypad. I turned back to see Tom getting up from his chair.

  ‘Well, I don’t need to justify anything to anyone, I know who I am now, I’m going to make this all right and Dee-’ he looked at me pointedly, ‘-I will not give up on you,’ he said and kissed me on the forehead. I stiffened against his touch and watched him walk out of the coffee shop and disappear from sight.

  Jack was quiet, typing on his laptop for a few minutes as I sat there in stunned silence. If I thought I knew what was going on an hour ago, I was even more lost now. Tom did not seem to be troubled in the slightest by the fact that a whole school was currently mourning the death of a fictional reverend. What seemed even more strange, was that Jack seemed unfazed as well. I turned to him and cleared my throat. He looked up at me expectantly.

  ‘Are you not at all disturbed by any of this?’ I asked bluntly. Jack rubbed his chin and looked up at the ceiling in thought.

  ‘Not particularly,’ he said. ‘But I am an accountant, this is not the first time I’ve been told that someone faked their death,’ he said mildly. My jaw dropped as I looked at him disbelievingly.

  ‘What? This happens all the time then?’ I asked, shocked. Jack shook his head,

  ‘No,’ he said in a low voice, ‘I heard a few stories from other accountants, you’ll be surprised what crazy things people do for money. Usually when they owe someone or want to run away from an angry mob of customers. Car mechanics and builders, mostly. A lot of them go missing, or reported dead,’ I stared at Jack in amazement as he spoke with such a calm manner. As he spoke to me, my stress levels were decreasing, and I felt a little more grounded. Jack was normal. Tom was not. The world was right again.

  After a few more minutes of silence, Jack closed his laptop and placed it back in his bag. He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.

  ‘You need some fun, and I’ve got somewhere to be, would you like to join me?’ he asked as I placed my hand in his. He gripped my fingers and pulled me gently to my feet. Then he placed his arm around my waist, guiding me out of the coffee shop.

  ‘Where are we going?’ I asked. Jack tapped his nose and bid us to keep walking. I enjoyed feeling the weight of his hand resting on my back and my shoulders relaxed under his touch. We ended up at a community centre, one of the rooms had music pumping through the walls and was crowded full of people.

  ‘It’s my brother’s 30th today, he rented out a hall to celebrate,’ Jack explained to me. He gave me a wink and a cheeky grin as he let go of my waist and strode in on his own, leaving me behind.

  ‘Wait, where are you going?’ I called out to him, slightly panicked.

  ‘We’re strangers, wait five minutes and come in and join the party. Who knows, you might meet someone you like,’ he said over the music. Then he turned and disappeared into the room.

  I stood in the empty hall, shaking from head to toe. What kind of game was this? The thought of going into a party full of people I didn’t know, terrified every part of my being. I looked around and found a sign for the toilets to my right. I walked through a couple of doors and found them. If I was going to a party, I should probably look the part. I walked into the ladies toilets and settled in front of a mirror. My hair was slightly frizzy as it hung wildly past my shoulders. I took out a pocket hairbrush from my bag and untangled my hair, smoothing out my side fringe. My eyes were slightly bloodshot from crying, and my mascara had smudged quite spectacularly. I cringed at the knowledge that Jack saw me looking like this. I dusted powdered foundation on my face and brushed a touch of blusher on my cheeks. After a few minutes, my eyelashes were thick and long, and my face looked flawless. Satisfied with my efforts, I straightened my pencil skirt over my hips and braided my blonde hair loosely and let it hang on my right shoulder. After a few deep breaths, I was ready for whatever the night had in store.

  I walked back down the hall and found my way into the party room. A disco ball hung on the ceiling, and the room was full of young adults dancing to cheesy music themed to a 90s throwback. A small table was laden full of finger food, and a stack of bottles sat on the side. I searched the crowds of faces for Jack’s but couldn’t see him anywhere.

  ‘Hey, welcome to the party!’ called out a short, stocky male with very little hair on his head. He had glasses and a friendly demeanour about him.

  ‘What’s your name, love?’ he asked in a Bristolian accent. I smiled shyly and told him my name.

  ‘Dee? Like Audrey?’ he asked, mildly interested. I nodded, ‘well I’m Josh, the birthday boy, let me introduce y
ou to some people…’ he said as he put his heavy arm around my shoulder and steered me around the room.

  ‘Hey, this is my new friend, Dee, make her feel welcome,’ he called out to a few people as we walked through the dancing crowd. Some people waved or nodded in my direction; others ignored me completely. Then Josh brought me to a small group of short men, two of them round and balding like Josh, and the third was thinner and muscular, with considerably more dark hair.

  ‘These are my brothers,’ Josh announced, holding me on his arm like a new trophy. The men smiled and waved at me, but one of them stepped forward and gave Josh a wink as he approached me. I grinned shyly at him.

  ‘Hi, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Jack,’ he said formally, shaking my hand. I giggled slightly in return, glancing at the brothers who were watching from behind.

  ‘I’m Audrey,’ I said in a small voice, Jack leaned his ear close to me and looked like he was trying to hear me.

  ‘Audrey?’ he repeated. I nodded, he stood back and smiled genuinely at me. ‘That’s a beautiful name’. My heart swelled. He offered his hand, and we danced to the upbeat music in the hall. Within seconds we were laughing as we circled each other and held hands, pretending to dance like professional ballroom dancers. It was the most fun I had ever had in my life. I was free and laughing loudly as Jack twirled me and even started dancing what he liked to call “the chicken dance” where he bobbed up and down and stuck his elbows out. He was confident and cheeky. He displayed so much positivity and happiness; I couldn’t help but feel happy too. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he danced and laughed. Every reaction he made to my moves made my heart leap.

  We danced for a long time, but hunger soon took over, and the food had been consumed by the time we got to the refreshment table. Jack and I said goodbye to his brothers, and we walked out together into the dark night.

  ‘Wow, that was amazing,’ I declared, as I stretched my arms out and looked up at the sky, free as a bird. The stars were out in the clear sky and twinkled down on us. Jack looked at me with approval, pleased with himself.

  ‘I’m glad you’re feeling better,’ he said. I put my hands down and looked at him, a beaming smile on my face.

  ‘I had so much fun, thank you, thank you so much, Jack!’ I said breathlessly. We walked aimlessly down the road, arm in arm. My mind was telling me to cool off; I was showing far too much interest too soon. But my heart betrayed my mind, directing my body, and my body listened to my heart. Jack was so soft and warm; his body felt completely natural to me. He made wonderful company; I wanted nothing more that to just be with him all the time. It didn’t make sense though; it wasn’t logical to feel so strongly so soon. Was this how Tom was feeling for me? I wondered how Jack felt towards me and decided that it was important not to come on too strong and scare him off. We could be friends, for now; I thought reasonably, and then looked over to him as we walked and looked at his lips. They were slightly plump, his bottom lip stuck out a little more than his upper lip, and his scent drew me in. I bit my lip and looked away. Steady girl, I thought to myself. Just friends remember.

  Jack turned to me suddenly as we both came to a halt at College Green, a large bank of grass just off of Park Street. It was a favourite picnic area of the local students. Jack looked at me deeply, his eyes penetrated my soul, and for a moment that seemed to last an eternity, it felt that he was mine and I was his. He cradled my face in his hands and leaned forward, I closed my eyes and allowed him to come to me, I felt his breath tickling my lips and then his mouth joined mine. It was soft, careful and he moved his lips gently over my trembling lips. My body melted under his touch and I reached my arms up around his torso and dragged my hands through his hair. He clutched my back tightly and stood firmly as I collapsed into his embrace. My soul surrendered to his completely. He stopped and looked adoringly into my eyes. They glowed softly in streetlight, and his smile was radiant. Mine must have been too; I was grinning from ear to ear.

  It was the kiss of all kisses. More passionate and meaningful than any kiss portrayed in any of the romantic movies ever made. It was an unspoken conversation, intimate and yet so innocent and tender. It was the pure message of adoration. Tom had tried to make me love him with his words, but none of them had the powerful and intense reaction that Jack’s kiss brought out of me. I stared at him with an overwhelming emotion of excitement and wonder. I had no idea that anyone could ever be so fascinating and irresistible at the same time. He was mine. I had hoped it when we were together in my parent’s kitchen and our arms touched, but now I knew it. He was my soul mate, and I wasn’t going to let him go.

  CHAPTER 5

  Cranking Up The Volume

  The room was dark but for the faint moonlight resting on my bed covers as I lay there, still smiling from the night’s events. I touched my tingling lips and stifled a giggle, pressing my face into the plush pillows on my bed. Jack and I ended the night with a casual dinner eating pizza and parted ways reluctantly as the night grew late. I had to drive back to Portishead, and he offered to have me stay the night in his hotel room.

  ‘No,’ I blushed at his offer, ‘I don’t think it would be a good idea, not until we know each other a lot more,’ Jack coughed on his drink,

  ‘Oh, I didn’t mean anything like that, it has twin beds in the room,’ he explained quickly. I felt myself blushing furiously at his words.

  ‘Oh,’ was all I could say in response. He laughed and shook his head. I had decided to go home, alone. It would not have been wise to do anything too soon. Not after my experiences with Tom, and despite my feelings for Jack, it was still very early days, and it didn’t feel right to tempt things in that area. Especially as it could potentially jeopardise our new friendship. I also felt that we would not have been able to keep our hands off each other if we were sleeping in the same bedroom.

  The next morning came too quickly for my liking. I woke up with a searing pain in front of my eyes which had me blinded. I fell onto my feet and staggered across the carpet towards the hall, leading to the kitchenette area in the lounge. I needed to take something for the pain. A few painkillers later, and I was in the shower, relaxing under the warm water splashing over my body. With a sigh of relief, I felt my eyebrows unknit, and the pain in my head turned into a dull throbbing sensation. A new day, a new life, I thought to myself as Jack’s face came into my mind, the new chapter in my life. I surrendered to the smile threatening to take over my face as I remembered the events of the night before. The goofy dancing at the party, Jack’s genuine character, and level-headedness. That kiss. Oh wow. That mind-blowing, intense and romantic kiss was the most passionate and incredible kiss I had ever shared with someone.

  As I drove to work that morning, the sunlight weakened by the fluffy clouds in the sky; I allowed my mind to wander towards Tom. His moody disposition at the coffee shop was a stark contrast to his usual placid, friendly persona that he put on around me -when I believed he was a reverend that is. I wondered what might have happened, had he not overheard my conversation with my mother in the kitchen that day. What if he had not confessed to his fraudulent way of life and I still believed he was a nice, kind and charismatic person?

  I remembered that just moments before the dramatic reveal, I was about to break up with the guy, so the outcome may have just been the same. Though he would not have any need to fake his own death and lead a different life. But what was this obsession he had with being with me? Or perhaps, he was holding onto the fact that I had shown him friendship and compassion? I had never heard him talk about any close friends or family in our discussions. The only time he mentioned going out with a friend was during the very first sermon he gave, and that was probably all lies. When he spoke about his parents, it was always in the past tense, as if they were not around anymore. I could not trust what he said to me, for all I knew his parents could have been perfectly respectable people who disowned their crazy multi-personality son. How could he flip from one character to another so easily? Now
, he was the brooding, moody banker, was he? Whatever character took up his fancy, he would become it? Tom was a riddle I had no time to solve. Not when I had a job to do, girls to console as they mourn the fictitious Reverend Pembleton. The main question left in my mind regarding Tom, was this;

  Do I tell Mrs Callingham the truth?

  That was a difficult question to answer. What would the girls struggle with more? The thought of their beloved Reverend stand-in, the charming, insightful man who made some very impressive and noteworthy points about their conduct and life’s ambitions, was in fact, a serial con-artist? Or to continue thinking that due to some unmentioned tragedy, their sweet reverend Pembleton passed away and is now playing golf in heaven?

  Either way, Reverend Pembleton was no more. The girls would mourn that. The question was more like this, do you expose the man behind the mask, or keep the girls’ innocence on the matter?

  The decision was not mine to make. Mrs Callingham had to know; it would have been wrong not to inform her of this man. If anything, to make the selection process for the next religious studies teacher to be more rigorous and thorough.

  I resolved to tell Mrs Callingham the truth. This was not going to be a comfortable conversation, and I hoped that I could avoid divulging any information regarding the relationship Tom and I possessed. I pulled up outside the school and gathered my bags together, then stepped out of the car in my ankle boots and black trousers. I brushed out the slight creases on my yellow shirt and closed the car door.

  ‘Good morning, miss,’ called out a first year student. She had two yellow braids and rosy cheeks. I smiled as I greeted her in reply. Crowds of girls swarmed in through the iron gates and wandered aimlessly down the drive as they talked about goodness knows what. The feeling in the air was still tense and strained, the girls were a lot quieter and more serious than usual. I hurried to the main building to find Mrs Callingham, hoping to catch her before the morning assembly. As I rounded the corner, I saw Reverend Hale, standing in the foyer leaning onto a cane. ‘Reverend Hale, it’s wonderful to see you on your feet!’ I said politely as I approached him.