A Tender Hope

by Amanda Cabot

  “Would you like some company? I could watch Stuart while you’re with your patient.”

  Thea gave him one of those sweet smiles that somehow managed to make his pulse beat a bit faster. “Are you certain you don’t mind? I’d hate to take you away from whatever you were doing.”

  What he’d been doing was walking aimlessly around town, thinking about the Gang and about her.

  “I have nothing planned, and a ride in the country sounds good. Would you like me to drive?” Jackson asked as they approached the livery.

  Thea shook her head again. “Thanks, but Maggie is used to me. She doesn’t like others to handle the reins.”

  Jackson wondered why. The bay mare had seemed docile when he’d passed her in the livery, making him think she’d tolerate multiple drivers, but Thea obviously knew her horse better than anyone.

  “In that case, I’ll come along for the ride.”

  Within minutes, they were headed out of town, Thea with the reins wrapped around her hands, Jackson with the now wide-awake Stuart in his arms.

  Thea turned toward Jackson, furrows forming between her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t mind my driving?”

  “Why would I?” Though Andrew Henderson, the cousin Warner had hired to run the livery after his brother’s death, had looked askance at Thea’s not handing the reins to Jackson, it didn’t bother him. Admittedly, this was the first time a woman other than his mother had driven him anywhere, but there was a first time for everything.

  Besides, not having to watch the road meant that he could spend more time observing Thea’s reactions when he asked her about her husband. Even if he didn’t question her, he’d have the undeniable pleasure of looking at a pretty woman. Who would complain about that?

  Apparently, someone had. “My husband always had to be the one who drove.”

  As they headed up a small hill, Thea shifted so that Jackson was once more treated to a view of her profile. She might not be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, but she was the only one who stirred his senses, making him feel both protective and more than a little possessive. The second thought caused Jackson to swallow deeply. He had no right to feel possessive of Thea. He looked straight ahead, trying to calm his suddenly unsettled thoughts.

  Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Thea continued her story. “Daniel didn’t mind if I drove when I was alone, but when we went anywhere together, he insisted on being the driver. Maggie wasn’t happy about that. She’s used to a lighter touch.”

  Jackson nodded slowly, filing away that insight into the man Thea had married. While it might not mean anything, Michener’s need to be in charge dovetailed with the supposition that he’d been the leader of the Gang. The heavy touch on the reins could mean anything or nothing at all. Jackson hoped it did not mean that Daniel Michener had been an abusive spouse.

  He had no reason to believe that had been the case, but he could not dismiss the possibility, given the man’s violent history. A man who thought nothing of killing innocent travelers might not have shied away from using his fists on his wife if she displeased him.

  “Did your husband mind that you continued to work after you were married?” Jackson knew that many men did, wanting to be the breadwinner in their families, and that sometimes frustration led to anger.

  Thea appeared surprised by the question, her brown eyes widening ever so slightly. “Daniel worried about having enough money to buy a house and everything our baby would need, so he was happy to have my earnings.”

  Another insight, but one that contradicted what Jackson thought he knew. With all the successful robberies the Gang had conducted, money should not have been a problem. Even split four ways, it was a small fortune.

  That was another part of the puzzle that had surrounded the Gang of Four for the past two years. Why did they continue to rob coaches and trains when they had enough money to retire from crime and live comfortably? The only theories he and Leander had developed were that either the Gang craved the excitement of outwitting the law or they’d developed a taste for expensive items. Jackson wouldn’t pursue either possibility now. Instead, he’d turn the conversation to Thea herself, then gradually return to her husband.

  “What made you decide to become a midwife?”

  The smile that lit her face told Jackson this was a much happier subject than her late husband. “It started when I was a little girl. I idolized my brother-in-law, Clay. You need to understand that he was more than my sister’s husband; he was like a father to me.”

  When Jackson nodded, silently urging her to continue, she did. “Clay was also a doctor, and sometimes he’d let me tag along while he visited patients. I thought the way he made people healthy again was wonderful and decided right then that I was going to be a doctor too.”

  Thea’s smile widened, and she reached over to touch Stuart’s fist as he tried to push it into his mouth. “Being a doctor was my dream until Priscilla, the town’s midwife, took me with her one day. It was supposed to be a routine checkup. The baby wasn’t due for another month, but by the time we arrived, the mother was in the final stages of labor.”

  Stuart giggled and batted at Thea’s hand, making her smile again, although the subject was a serious one. “It was a difficult delivery, and Priscilla needed help. Unfortunately for Priscilla but fortunately for me, I was the only one there. Seeing what she did opened a whole new world for me, and when I held that newborn baby in my arms, I knew that was what I wanted to do with my life.”

  The flush on Thea’s cheeks told Jackson as clearly as her words how much she enjoyed her profession and how much satisfaction it gave her.

  “Why did you leave Ladreville? It sounds as though you had a good life there.”

  “It was a good life,” Thea admitted, “until Daniel and Aaron died. After that, I knew I needed a change.”

  Jackson nodded, more because he’d learned Thea’s son’s name than because he understood her experience.

  Her voice was firm as she said, “The advertisement for a midwife in Cimarron Creek felt like a sign from God.”

  Jackson wished he’d been given a sign. Ever since Micah had been killed, he’d felt like a rudderless boat, floating aimlessly.

  “It must be nice to be able to bring life into the world. I see too much death.”

  Thea turned again, her smile fading when she saw his scowl. “But you’re saving others’ lives by bringing criminals to justice.”

  As two birds flitted by, Maggie’s ears twitched, signaling the mare’s disapproval. Jackson couldn’t blame her. He didn’t like animals coming too close any more than he did the direction the conversation had taken.

  “That’s what I used to believe. Now I’m not so certain. If it weren’t for me, my brother would still be alive.”

  Thea’s gasp told Jackson his last sentence had shocked her. It had shocked him too. He certainly hadn’t meant to say that. Not even Leander knew how much he blamed himself.

  “You didn’t kill Micah.”

  Jackson knew Thea was trying to comfort him. It wouldn’t work. “Maybe not directly, but if I hadn’t gone home that day, he would not have tried to be a hero. He’d still be alive.”

  Thea shook her head. “You don’t know that for a fact. He might have tried to tangle with a javelina. He might have hit his head falling off a horse. Life is fragile. Believe me, Jackson, I know that. You’re not to blame for what happened to your brother.”

  Her voice was fierce, as if she were using it to erect a protective shield around him. Though the idea that Thea wanted to protect him was oddly comforting, she was wrong.

  “If I hadn’t been a Ranger, none of that would have happened.”

  This time Thea did not try to contradict him. “Why did you join the Rangers?”

  Turnabout was fair. He’d asked her about her profession; she had a right to ask him about his.

  “I wanted to do something very different from my other brothers. I think I told you that Quincy and Jefferson are twins. They�
��re five years older than me, which meant that they were old enough to consider me a pest, not a playmate.” Jackson closed his eyes, remembering how they’d refused to let him join their games.

  “I grew up resenting them and decided that whatever they did, I’d do something else. I liked ranching as much as they did, but when they bought the ranches on either side of our parents’ spread, I knew that wouldn’t be the life for me. When I heard about the Rangers, it sounded like something I could do. I always was a good shot. Now I’m not sure it was the right decision.”

  It was the first time Jackson had voiced those doubts, but for some reason it felt right to tell Thea.

  “Are you thinking about leaving the Rangers?” She sounded both shocked and concerned, as if she cared enough to worry about whether or not he was making a hasty decision.

  Jackson wished he could give her a definite answer, particularly since it might reassure her, but he had to be honest.

  “I don’t know.”

  14

  Thea frowned as she looked down at the sleeping baby. She ought to have started supper, but instead she was sitting in the parlor, watching a child who needed no watching, and thinking thoughts that were best forgotten. She had no business being fascinated by a man—any man. Hadn’t she learned her lesson with Daniel? Other women might be good judges of character, but Thea was not. She had believed that Daniel was the right man for her and that they’d have the kind of marriage Sarah and Clay did, but she’d been wrong.

  She’d been fooled, and she’d paid the price with months of anguish when the scent of perfume—any perfume—made her cringe. And then there’d been the day the sheriff had brought Daniel’s body home and she’d realized that she would never know the truth about her husband. That was the day she’d vowed she would never, ever put herself in that position again. She would never again open her heart to a man. Yet, no matter how often she scolded herself, Thea couldn’t stop thinking about Jackson and all that he’d revealed on their ride.

  Rangers had the reputation of being big, tough men. Jackson was big, at least compared to her, and she didn’t doubt that he could be tough, but there was a gentle side to him too. Few men would have volunteered to care for Stuart. And while he was only the second Ranger she’d met, Thea suspected few spent much time questioning whether they’d done the right thing, whether the killing was justified. It was simply part of the job. They did what they had to without a lot of introspection.

  Jackson was different, and it wasn’t difficult to find the reason. Thea suspected that few other Rangers had had their brothers die in their arms as a result of their job. That was bound to change a man, just as Daniel and Aaron’s deaths had changed her.

  “But you’re alive, Stuart.” She stroked the baby’s cheek and inhaled the sweet fragrance that was his alone.

  “Of course he is. Were you worried?”

  Thea spun around, realizing she’d been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard the door opening.

  “No . . .” She paused, trying to decide how much to share with Aimee. “It’s just sometimes . . .”

  Aimee nodded as if she understood. “You think about your husband and son. That’s only normal.”

  There’d been more to it than that, but that was enough of an explanation for today. Aimee didn’t need to know how deeply Jackson’s story had touched her.

  Aimee untied her bonnet strings and laid the hat on one of the tables. “How was your new patient?”

  “Perfectly healthy.” The urgent call that had summoned Thea to the ranch had been a false alarm. “This is her first baby, and she’s nervous.”

  The expectant father had been even more worried than her patient, a fact that had warmed Thea’s heart. Some men paid little attention to their wives’ condition, but this one had been refreshingly concerned and protective of his bride, telling Thea they’d been married less than six months and that he couldn’t bear the thought of anything bad happening to her. Daniel had been solicitous when she’d told him she was expecting their child, but not to that extent.

  “It turned out she had a case of indigestion and was afraid it would harm the child,” Thea said as she laid Stuart in the buggy. “It took me a while to reassure her and her husband, but once I convinced them that babies could survive much more than that, she seemed fine.”

  A slightly mischievous smile crossed Aimee’s face as Thea settled into the chair across from her. “I heard Jackson went with you.”

  Though Thea knew she shouldn’t have been surprised, she was, as much by the speed with which the story had spread as the gossip itself. “Lydia told me there are few secrets in this town, and it seems she’s right. Cimarron Creek has an efficient grapevine.” Thea raised an eyebrow. “Do you know who started it?”

  Aimee nodded. “Patience. She saw you leaving the livery and couldn’t wait to report what she’d seen.” Her narrowed eyes said there was more to the story. “She’s been coming into the apothecary almost every day.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it? Lydia mentioned that business declined for a few weeks after Warner’s parents died. I would imagine he’s glad to have additional customers.”

  “It is good. Warner told me more women would come in if I were there, and that’s happening, but I don’t think I’m the reason Patience comes.” Aimee flashed a wry smile. “The truth is, I was going to encourage Patience to stop by, but I didn’t have to. She keeps coming without an invitation.”

  Remembering the way the new schoolteacher had stolen looks at the pharmacist when they’d been playing charades, Thea wasn’t surprised. “To see Warner.” She made it a statement.

  Aimee nodded. “I think so. Her face takes on a special glow when she talks to him. I never thought I’d be a matchmaker, but I can’t help hoping they see how right they are for each other. Patience gets Warner to laugh, and he talks more when she’s there, not like—”

  “Like who?” Though Thea believed she knew the answer, she wanted Aimee to confirm her suspicions.

  “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

  Thea laid her hand on Aimee’s. “If it bothers you—and I can see that it does—it matters. I can’t force you to tell me, but I’d like to help you.”

  Aimee bit her lip, and for a second Thea doubted she would reveal anything. “I’m so confused,” she said at last. “Do you know what a coup de foudre is?”

  “Love at first sight.” As she pronounced the words, a lump settled in Thea’s throat. If there was one subject she did not want to discuss, it was that.

  “Exactly.” Aimee’s enthusiastic response left no doubt that she did not share Thea’s distaste for the lightning bolts of love. “My mother claimed that’s what happened to her and my father. I didn’t think it was real, but it is.”

  No, no, no! The lump grew, threatening Thea’s ability to swallow. Though she wished it weren’t so, it appeared that her friend was making the same mistake she had.

  “You love Nate?”

  As Aimee nodded, her mood changed. While her face glowed the way she said Patience’s had, she was not smiling. “It should be perfect. Maman said falling in love was the best time of her life, but that’s because Papa loved her. It’s not that way with Nate and me.”

  Aimee let out a deep sigh that could have signaled frustration. “I feel wonderful when I’m around Nate, but he hardly seems to know I exist.”

  Thea had not had that problem, for she and Daniel had both been smitten from the day they’d met. She had believed they’d shared true love—a deep love that would last forever—but she had been wrong.

  Thea’s heart ached for her friend. As dangerous as her first love had proven to be, she knew that unrequited love was equally painful.

  “What does Nate do?” Thea said a silent prayer for the words to comfort Aimee.

  “It’s what he doesn’t do.” Aimee practically spat the words. “Every time he comes into the store, he greets me, but that’s all. It’s like the words freeze up inside him when
he talks to me.” She shook her head in obvious frustration. “It doesn’t make any sense. He talks to everyone else. You’ve seen that—he talks to you. Why am I different?”

  Thea made a show of checking Stuart while she gathered her thoughts. She didn’t want to encourage Aimee to make a mistake, but she also didn’t want to see her suffer. “There are a couple possibilities. He could be afraid of you.”

  “Afraid? Why? I can’t imagine Nate’s frightened of anything, much less me.” Aimee shook her head, setting her blonde curls to bouncing. “That can’t be it. What’s the other possibility?”

  Though it was one that worried Thea, she owed her friend an honest answer. “It could be that he’s attracted to you. I’ve seen men become tongue-tied when they’re near a woman they want to impress.”

  Aimee’s eyes brightened as some of the tension that had gripped her began to dissipate. “Do you think that’s the case?”

  “It could be.”

  Today was going to be the day. Jackson clenched his fists and relaxed them, repeating the exercise that rarely failed to calm turbulent thoughts. He wouldn’t do that on the street, lest someone think he was belligerent, but there was no one here in Warner’s home to see him, and he definitely needed calming. As distressing as it might be, today was the day he would show Thea his sketch and discover what she knew about her husband’s involvement with the Gang.

  Jackson flexed his fingers, annoyed that fisting his hands had failed to calm him. He knew Thea was seeing Mrs. Allen this morning. He’d talk to her when she returned home. Flex, flex, flex. Clench, relax, clench, relax. It did no good. He might as well give up and admit that he wouldn’t relax until he’d spoken to Thea.

  Why wait? He could take Stuart out again, meet her at the Allens’, and walk home with her. The town had gotten used to him walking up and down the streets with Stuart most mornings. No one would comment on a second excursion.