Breaking the Playboy's Rules

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  ‘Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.’ Her stiff little smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it reached his heart like a sharp little dart.

  Then she turned on her heel, walked out through the exit and he stood watching her go without moving a muscle to go after her. But then, why would he? He wasn’t in love with her. He wasn’t a believer in the romantic fantasy of happy-ever-after. He was a realist, a cynic, a man who knew how to avoid messy emotional entanglements.

  And, by letting Millie go, he knew in his bones he had avoided one of the most potentially messy of them all.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  MILLIE GOT HOME to her flat to find Zoey on her way out to visit her father.

  ‘How did your weekend go?’ Zoey asked, shrugging herself into a lightweight jacket and lifting her dark hair out of the collar.

  ‘I’d rather not talk about it, actually.’ Millie plonked her overnight bag on the floor with a despondent sigh.

  Zoey frowned and walked over to her. ‘It’s over?’

  Millie nodded. ‘I ended it.’

  ‘Why?’

  Millie sank to the sofa and laid her head back against the cushioning. ‘I don’t want to make a fool of myself over him. I got out before I started gushing about how much I love him.’

  Zoey’s neat eyebrows lifted, her eyes wide as violet orbs. ‘You love him?’

  Millie pressed her lips together. ‘Yes, well, it kind of happened before I could stop it.’

  ‘Yeah, apparently it sometimes works that way.’ Zoey sat down beside her. ‘I’m sorry. How did he take it?’

  Millie gave a gurgle of humourless laughter. ‘Without a flicker of emotion. It kind of proves I did the right thing in ending it. If he cared a jot for me, you’d think he’d at least have said something, wouldn’t you?’

  Zoey shrugged one slim shoulder. ‘I’m no expert on men, as you already well know. I have enough trouble understanding my own father without trying to understand men of our generation. But I do know one thing—you have to do what’s right for you.’

  ‘If it’s right for me to end things with him, then why does it hurt so much?’

  Zoey made an ‘I’m sad for you’ face. ‘It really sucks to get your heart kicked around. But at least he wasn’t unfaithful. And you ended it before it got really messy.’

  Millie got off the sofa and began to pace the room. ‘I need to do something to take my mind off this or I’ll go crazy.’

  ‘Come to dinner with Dad and I. You’ll have a ball watching him get blackout-drunk and telling everyone in the restaurant how much he wished he’d had a son instead of a daughter.’

  Now it was Millie’s turn to do the sad face. ‘I really don’t know how you cope with him.’

  ‘Yes, well, he’s all I’ve got, so I have to suck it up.’ Zoey got up and scooped her tote bag off the floor where she’d left it earlier. She hung it over her shoulder and added, ‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. And if I wasn’t such a cynic I’d say, hang in there. He might come to his senses and realise what he’s given up.’

  Millie’s shoulders slumped on another sigh. ‘I can’t see that happening any time soon.’ She dared not hope for such an outcome. It was in the realms of impossibility, knowing him the way she did.

  * * *

  Later that day, Millie unlocked the door to her studio and went to her workroom. She picked up one of her jewellery saws and passed it from one hand to the other, preparing herself for the thing she should have done long ago. A clean break was the best break. She began to saw through the gold band on her left hand, tiny sawing movements that finally released her from a promise she should never have made in the first place. ‘I’m sorry, Jules. I hope you’re at peace now. I’m going to give this to your mum. I hope you don’t mind.’ She carefully placed the cut ring into an envelope and sealed the top down, placing it in her tote bag to deliver to Lena.

  Millie sat down at her desk and began some preliminary sketches of a charm bracelet for Hunter’s sister. She didn’t want to walk out of Emma’s life without leaving something behind to tell her she would be thinking of her. Hunter might not approve but she was determined to do it anyway.

  * * *

  Hunter threw himself into work in order to distract himself from thoughts of Millie. As usual, plenty of work was coming through the door—kind of proving his view of romantic love being nothing but a fantasy. He spent extra time and effort on Millie’s mother’s divorce, but he was still waiting on further details from Matteo Vitale over some missing funds and some suspicious offshore accounts. Matteo suspected a serious case of fraud and didn’t want to act until he had all the facts on the table, but it held up the process, and meant Hunter couldn’t get the closure he wanted.

  He needed the distance.

  He needed to stop thinking about Millie, period, but acting for her mother meant Millie was almost constantly on his mind. He was too much of a professional to let his bitterness over their break-up interfere with how he processed Eleanora’s divorce. And he was still perfectly happy to do the work pro bono. It gave him a good feeling, and what he needed right now was good feelings because he felt rubbish most of the time. He had no appetite for food, no interest in the punishing exercise routine he usually enjoyed and no ability to hold a sensible conversation with anyone without his mind going elsewhere—most particularly to his island in Greece and the image of Millie walking out of the sea like a goddess.

  Hunter groaned and snatched up his car keys and phone from his desk. Why couldn’t he let it go? He was acting demented, like some sort of love-sick fool who didn’t know how to walk away from a fling. He knew exactly how to walk away. He’d been doing it for most of his adult life. Why was it killing him now?

  Because you miss her.

  The words dropped into his head like stones in a pond, the circles going outward in waves with follow-up thoughts.

  You miss her smile. You miss her touch. You miss her intelligence. You miss the love-making. You miss every damn thing about her.

  So? He could go on missing her. He had no business picturing a happy-ever-after with Millie Donnelly-Clarke. There was no such thing as happy ever after, or at least not for people like him. He had Emma to think of—poor little Emma who would never be a bride, never hold her own baby in her arms. But he would do what he could to make up for that, using Millie’s suggestion. Yes, he had listened and taken on board the notion of a therapy dog. He had one lined up that very day.

  Hunter had arranged to meet the dog trainer and handler at Emma’s townhouse. He hadn’t told Emma anything about it, wanting to surprise her, as well as gauge her reaction in case she didn’t warm to the dog at all.

  He shouldn’t have worried on that score, for as soon as the handler, Kate, brought in Ruby, the chocolate-coloured labradoodle, Emma wrapped her arms around the dog’s neck and cried for joy.

  ‘Do you really mean it? She’s mine? All mine, to stay with me all the time?’ Emma asked, happy tears shining in her eyes and dripping down her face.

  Hunter smiled, in spite of his own misery, and felt a suspicion of moisture in his own eyes. ‘Yes, poppet. Ruby is yours.’

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ Emma said, petting the dog lovingly. Ruby lapped it up with a doggy smile and melting brown eyes and a wagging plume of a tail. A bond was forming right before Hunter’s eyes and it touched him deeply.

  But then he caught sight of a bracelet on Emma’s wrist. ‘Hey, poppet, where did you get that bracelet? Did Rupinder give it to you?’

  Emma shook her head. ‘No. Millie came by the other day. She made it for me. Isn’t it beautiful?’ She held out her wrist and swung the little charms around, making them tinkle. ‘She’s so clever. She told me to hold this charm here if ever I feel scared and lonely. See, this one? It’s got a smiley face. I love it. But I might not have to hold it now I’ve got Ruby, huh?�
�� She wrapped her arms back around the dog and Ruby’s tail swept the floor like a shaggy broom.

  Hunter suddenly felt tight in the throat and chest. Millie had taken the time to make Emma a bracelet. She had delivered it to Emma and encouraged her to self-soothe, giving her a strategy with which to do so. Millie hadn’t dumped his sister along with him. She had thought of Emma and taken it upon herself to make sure Emma was protected from any hurt resulting from their break-up.

  What a pity Millie hadn’t spared him the hurt in the first place. Maybe he needed a charm bracelet to rub every time he thought of her. He knew one thing for sure—he would have rubbed the metal to the thinness of paper in no time at all, so incessant was his thinking about her. He had a bad case of something, and he didn’t want to admit it. The L word was hovering at the back of his brain, but he pushed it away. Love and hurt went hand in hand and he wasn’t signing up for that any time soon.

  But, oh, how dreadful it was to know he might never see Millie again. He would never hold her in his arms and kiss her or make passionate love to her. There was that wretched L word again. Sex used to be sex, but with Millie it was always making love.

  Why had he been such a fool to let things go that far? Far enough to make him feel as if the bottom had dropped out of his world?

  He had always determined never to love enough to feel the pain of losing, yet he had lost Millie. But had he ever had her other than in a physical sense? From the outset, he had closed off his heart, only giving her his body. How could that ever be enough for someone as caring and loving as Millie? She wanted the whole package because anything less would be an insult. He was insulting himself, let alone her, not to open his heart to her.

  There was a strange feeling in his chest, a loosening of bolts around the cage in which his heart was locked. It was like allowing a beam of light into a darkened, closed-off room, light that showed all the secret longings hidden inside. He had ignored and denied those longings for most of his life. Like his sister, he had been desperately hurt by their father, and had sworn never to allow anyone close enough to hurt him again. But he was hurting himself by not loving fully, openly and wholeheartedly. He was living half a life—he wanted more. Needed more. He needed Millie. She had challenged him from the start, triggering something in him which was only becoming obvious now.

  Hunter leaned down to stroke the dog’s silky ears and was rewarded with a lavish lick.

  ‘So, you’ll keep her?’ Kate asked from a short distance away.

  ‘Yes, I’ll keep her.’ Hunter had never been more certain of anything in his life, but he wasn’t talking about the dog. Why had it taken this long to realise it? He was madly in love with Millie. Madly, deeply in love, and he had been a fool not to recognise it earlier. No wonder he’d been fighting it from the first moment they’d met. No wonder he was so miserable and lost. He was lost without the hope she gave him, the love she taught him to feel. She had unlocked his frozen heart, released him from his emotional prison.

  He. Loved. Her.

  ‘She’s not yours,’ Emma said, possessively hugging the dog to her chest with a fierce little stare at her brother. ‘She’s mine.’

  Hunter laughed and ruffled Emma’s hair. ‘I’m not talking about Ruby, poppet.’ He turned to Kate. ‘Will you excuse me? Rupinder will fill me in with any instructions later. I have to propose to the love of my life.’

  ‘Sure,’ Kate said with a beaming smile.

  ‘You’re going to marry Millie?’ Emma asked, eyes wide, smile wider.

  ‘If she’ll have me,’ Hunter said. He leaned down and kissed his sister on the top of the head. ‘Look after Ruby. She’s part of our family now.’

  And he hoped Millie was going to be too.

  * * *

  Millie walked back to her flat after visiting Julian’s mother. It had been a poignant meeting, with tears on both sides, but it had given Millie some much-needed closure to hand Lena the engagement ring. She had soldered it together and put it back in its original ring box.

  She hadn’t told Lena she hadn’t ever loved her son in a romantic sense. She didn’t think it necessary, and nor did she want to taint the treasured memories Lena had. Instead, she’d told Lena she was now ready to move on with her life and hoped that Lena would find some joy of her own in spite of her loss. And, much to Millie’s surprise, Lena announced she was actually seeing someone—her first relationship since Julian’s father had left all those years ago. Her new beau was a widower with three school-aged children and Lena was already enjoying helping to take care of them.

  Millie crossed the street at her usual place, lost in her thoughts—mostly of Hunter and how much she missed him—when she happened to look up and see him standing at her door. For a moment she wondered if her mind was playing tricks on her. She blinked a couple of times to reset her vision, but he was still standing there. She climbed the steps with unsteady legs, her heart racing. Why was he here? What possible reason could he have for coming here after they had said all that needed to be said?

  ‘Millie, can I have a word with you?’

  ‘Sure.’ Millie was surprised at how even her voice sounded, given how fast her heart was beating. She began to work the key in the lock, but her fingers wouldn’t cooperate. ‘Sorry about this, the lock is a bit—’

  ‘Here, let me.’ His large hand came over the top of hers and turned the key with her, and the lock turned as smoothly as anything.

  Millie removed her hand from under his and stepped inside, trying to ignore the tingling on her skin where he had touched her. Would she never be immune to his touch? He closed the door behind him and stood looking at her for a moment.

  ‘You, erm, wanted to talk to me about something?’ she prompted in a cool tone.

  He let out a shaky breath, his hands seeming restless by his sides, his fingers opening and closing as if he was trying to control the urge to touch her again. ‘I got Emma a therapy dog.’

  ‘Oh, that’s lovely. What’s its name?’

  ‘Ruby. Emma adores her already.’

  ‘I’m so glad.’

  A silence fell between them. A silence so thick, Millie heard herself swallow and suspected he did too.

  ‘So, can I get you a drink or...?’

  He stepped forward and grasped her by the upper arms, his expression tortured. ‘My darling girl, can you forgive me for being a blind fool and not realising how much I love you?’

  Millie stared at him speechlessly for a moment. ‘You...you love me?’

  His hands tightened on her arms as if he was frightened she was going to pull away. ‘Madly. Deeply. Desperately. I think I fell in love with you that day we met for a drink, when you asked me to act for your mother. I’ve resisted it all this time, not even recognising what I felt as love until today. I’ve been flat-out miserable without you. I can’t believe I let you walk away. I was so blind to what I was really feeling. Losing you made me finally realise how I was short-changing myself in life. My life can’t be what it’s supposed to be without you in it. I can’t imagine life without you by my side. Please come back to me and make me the happiest man alive.’

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. ‘I didn’t want to walk away. I love you so much. I can’t believe how much.’

  He looked down at her with love shining in his eyes. ‘Will you marry me? Please? Nothing would give me more joy than to have you as my wife and partner in life.’

  Millie smiled and hugged him again. ‘Yes, yes, of course I will, you darling man. How could you think I would ever say no to you? That was my problem almost from the moment we met. I saw what a danger you were to my heart. I tried to keep my feelings under guard, but it was impossible to resist you.’

  He framed her face in his hands, looking down at her with loving tenderness. ‘I’m a package deal, you know. It won’t always be easy with Emma. Her health is tricky to manage,
and she can be quite possessive over people. She’s already glued to that dog.’

  ‘I adore Emma,’ Millie said. ‘I hope you didn’t mind that I visited her?’

  He smiled. ‘I saw the gorgeous bracelet. She loves it, and I can’t thank you enough for not walking away from her because of me.’

  ‘Do you think she could be one of our bridesmaids? I would love that so much.’

  Hunter blinked back tears. ‘You truly are a one-in-a-million girl. What have I done to be so lucky to have you in my life?’

  Millie stroked his face with her hand. ‘I’m the lucky one. I never thought it was possible to love someone the way I love you. I love you with all my being.’

  ‘Do you remember when I told you how the pretence over your situation with Julian was hurting you more than anyone else? What a hypocrite I was. I realised I was doing the same. Hurting myself by not acknowledging what I really felt for you.’

  Millie had never thought she would hear such wonderful proclamations of love from him. All her dreams were coming true. Her heart had never felt so full, her love for him knowing no bounds. ‘I just love hearing you say how much you love me. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing it.’

  ‘I’m going to keep saying it for the rest of our lives.’ He pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, then continued, ‘I got to thinking about what you said about having children. Emma can’t be a mother, but she would certainly love being an auntie. I want a bit of time with you first, since we’ve rushed our relationship so far, but let’s have a family together.’

  Millie pressed another kiss to his mouth. ‘I would love to have a baby or two with you. Nothing would please me more. I didn’t realise how much I wanted to be a mother until I met you. You will be the most wonderful father. I just know it.’

  ‘And you will be a beautiful mother.’ He captured her left hand and stroked his thumb over the vacant space on her ring finger. ‘You cut it off.’