“I won’t talk to you. There must be someone else other than you,” she hisses, pinning me down with her gorgeous eyes.
“Do you always behave like such a spoiled brat? That mouth of yours could get you in a lot of trouble.” I smirk, getting closer again, so I can smell her alluring perfume. That really pisses her off, and she narrows her eyes even more, like she wants to kill me with that look.
For a moment I notice sadness and pain in her eyes, but then that’s quickly replaced by fury.
“Pull your fucking head out of your arse. I have nothing to say to you until you learn how to talk to me properly.”
I laugh, wondering if she’s a good kisser. This whole thing has to stop. I don’t know why I can’t control myself around her. All of a sudden I’m experiencing these new emotions. For years I couldn’t feel anything, and now it’s happening when I’m around this girl.
“Do you think you can hide yourself behind the vampy clothes and that look? You don’t fool me,” I challenge her. “Tell me, why don’t you have a mobile phone?”
She snorts and looks away. “How is that any of your business?”
“This case makes it my business, so cut the attitude. I’m the authority here.”
“I don’t fucking care about your authority,” she says, leaning over.
I lose control then and invade her personal space again, without touching her. The problem is that I want to touch her; I want to feel the electricity running through my fingers. I force myself to focus on my job and remember that she needs to be scared of me. She needs to know that I can easily destroy her life. The charge of obstruction of justice won’t look good on a DBS check, and she is doing a psychology degree.
“Shut your dirty mouth and answer the question or we are going to take a trip to the police station. Why don’t you own a phone?”
“Because I don’t need one.”
“Bullshit, everyone has a phone. How are you keeping in touch with your friends or family?”
“I don’t have any friends or family, you imbecile. Therefore I don’t need the phone.”
She smells fantastic and my heart keeps thumping loudly. She’s teasing me, seeing how far I’ll go.
“Micah?”
I hear Rogers’s voice behind me and swear in my head. He’s approaching, so I back down. Miss Sanderson exhales sharply, turns around and starts walking away, not even saying goodbye. I drag my hand through my hair, wondering why I’m so attracted to her. All right, she is pretty and I bet she’s dirty too, but that doesn’t mean that I should desire her.
“What was that about?” Rogers questions me.
“Nothing. I’m just questioning a potential suspect. I fucking hate her attitude,” I snap at him and keep watching her until she vanishes inside the house.
“Everyone thinks that she isn’t important. Quiet, keeps to herself. Hasn’t been seen out with anyone, not even with the victim. Mate, I think you’re digging the wrong grave. She’s not the one we are looking for.”
“The Chinese girl said something very interesting. Apparently our pinky head had arguments with the victim over some guy that Suranne was seeing. Woo couldn’t describe him to me, but she seemed certain.”
“Couple of girls did mention that Suranne was hung up on some guy from Braxton, but no one ever saw him.”
“We need to find him. That might be our lead. The pinky head lied, and I bet that he wasn’t the only thing that she was lying to us about.”
Chapter Eight
Twisted dreams.
Rogers doesn’t want to believe me that pinky head could have had something to do with her roommate’s murder, but I know for a fact that she’s hiding the real truth. My resourceful partner managed to find out that Sanderson works as a waitress in the local restaurant just outside the campus. She keeps insisting that she doesn’t like socialising, and I almost fell for it. She obviously needs money and she has to have certain qualities to work as a waitress.
I want to pursue the lead of the boyfriend. Intelligence is already working on tracking down the caller. Woo could be a key witness, and I would be glad to give the old man updates about what we found. That should shut him up for a bit, so then I can get on with my own investigation.
Roger and I get back to the station later on. We both finish work just after six. When I’m just about to leave, Kerry catches up with me downstairs, asking if she can come over later. I make some lame excuse and head home to catch up on some sleep. My unofficial fuck buddy doesn’t seem happy that I turned her down, but I can’t please everyone. The truth is that I can’t get Tahlia Sanderson out of my head. I thought that I could let Kerry in, but now I’m not sure if that is what I really want.
After I have some food, the early night doesn’t quite go to plan. My mind keeps working and in the end I get up and watch a pointless film and spend the rest of the evening in front of the TV. I need to look further into Tahlia Sanderson. There must be something that I missed. Her records seem clean; she doesn’t have a phone and acts like she wants me to arrest her. Something is not right here.
I’ll have some fun tomorrow watching her interacting with others. I’m fucked off by her attitude and the lack of respect for the badge.
The second time around is much easier, and I’m drifting away as soon as my head touches the pillow.
Tahlia
When I saw his face again I thought that my heart would shatter into a million different pieces. I didn’t want to believe that he dared to treat me like I’d done something wrong, that he didn’t remember who I was. It was like my identity was wiped out again, like I wasn’t even a normal person anymore.
I arrived in Braxton hoping to have a fresh start. From the very beginning I didn’t like Suranne. She had wealthy parents and treated me like I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. I knew that she assumed that I wasn’t good enough. The hair, piercing and tattoos weren’t helping, and by the end of the day I had made up my mind. Suranne Wallace was a stuck-up selfish bitch that didn’t care for anyone.
The morning when I found her, my world ended. The fear that had been buried deep inside was suddenly crawling back up. Someone must have gone to her room and slashed her throat. Her doors were locked, and I nearly had a panic attack when I had to break inside. I screamed until the Chinese girl came downstairs to check what was going on. At least that was the version that I gave to Micah Thomson.
The night before, when he crashed with me on the street and damaged my bike, I recognised him then, but I was too angry and shocked to tell him who I was.
A day later, I found myself face-to-face with him again. Micah Thomson, now all grown up, now a detective with a new shiny badge.
I nearly fainted when I saw him at the door. Anxiety flooded through me and my heart started hammering between my ribs. His face told me that he had no fucking idea who I was, that he was too ignorant to even acknowledge me. On top of that, I felt the pull. Since Rudolf I haven’t let another man touch me, but that rule didn’t apply to Micah. For some reason I allowed myself to believe that he could heal me, free me from the nightmare, the trap, like he did once before.
Today I gave him a few minutes to see the real me, but he failed yet again. He’d changed. I turned into someone else, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t see beyond his arrogant ego, that he couldn’t notice himself from years ago.
He was no longer that caring, empathetic man that I got to know for a short period of time. He had changed into a ruthless son of a bitch, but I couldn’t deny the sizzling chemistry that sparked between us. I wasn’t afraid of my sexuality, and that was a big step forward.
I wished that fate wouldn’t have put us on the same path, but I had nothing to say. He was back and I was pissed off.
Instead of being cooperative, I acted like I didn’t want to talk to him, that my perfectly planned life wasn’t affected by Suranne’s sudden murder. The university and my new look were pushing me to cut the old ties, to forget about the raw past. The monster
was dead. Lee assured me that I had nothing to worry about. He was going to send a few agents to assess the situation, to find out if I had to be moved. He was certain that Suranne’s murder had nothing to do with me, that it was a coincidence.
When Micah was staring at me, I couldn’t ignore the explosion of old emotions, the pounding heart, sweaty palms and desire that settled deep in my abdomen. The fear of being used faded, and I wanted to be loved again. I’d always sworn he was the only person that I would let into my heart. Yet today his eyes were looking directly at me, but he wasn’t seeing the real me. To him I was just a woman with pink hair, piercing and tattoos. I was no one.
For a split second I thought that I could tell him the truth, but in the end I chickened out. It was better that he didn’t know. After he spoke to me I realised that he didn’t deserve to hear the truth. Years had passed, I had grown up, but I always had to look behind my back. The pain was always just beneath the surface, but I managed to mask it with tattoos and piercing and attitude.
It was Micah’s fault that I was hurt, because he never really saw what was happening under his nose, and I hated him for that.
Micah
I wake up and it takes me a moment to realise that I’m in my own bed. It’s still dark outside, and the rain pounds on the windows.
Small dots of sweat gather all over my forehead as I bring up images of Tahlia sitting in that classroom. This isn’t normal; she shouldn’t be the first person that I think about as soon as I open my eyes in the middle of the night. I get up to take a piss, trying to distract myself from thinking like a teenager, at the same time wondering how I am going to solve this case.
I breathe in and out, aware that my heart is pounding violently in my chest. I have never felt so strongly connected to anyone else. With Steph it was natural, but this is starting to freak me out.
Back in London when I was still living with my scumbag parents, Josh was one of my best mates. We lived in the same council estate and we hung out together all the time. We were the kids of the parents that relied on the state. Everyone around there was on benefits. Rarely anyone had to get up to go to work in the morning. We went to the same school, and his bipolar mother knew my drunken father. At the time I never thought about the future. Sometimes his mother took care of my burns when my bitch mother purposely burned me for telling other people in the estate that we couldn’t afford a new car. I slept in his house, hiding under the bed when my father was going through his drunken rage. Sometimes he would show up in Josh’s house, looking for me, and his mother covered up for me. I remember when he used to hit me, and my mother would just watch, not doing anything to stop him.
When we both turned seventeen I met Steph, and Josh started going out with that shy girl whose name I can’t quite remember now.
I crawl back into bed, and after some time I finally manage to drift back to sleep. In the morning when the alarm rings, I don’t get up at six. I sleep in until seven. It’s my turn to be on call this weekend. Lisa, Brandon’s wife, hates when he has the phone shift.
I take a shower, and I have to jerk off to get that image of pinky head out of my head.
In the past eight years I have been having nightmares, always about Steph, always seeing her wounded, calling for me. Then her face transforms into the girl that I found in the druggie house. That’s why most of the time I’m cranky and tired, and since the investigation started, the nightmares are only more intense.
I iron a fresh shirt and tie, then dress and leave the house around seven thirty. By the time I arrive at the station I know that I have to have sex with Kerry today. I can’t keep going this way. I shouldn’t let Kerry see my vulnerable side, that part of me that craves something much deeper. Whether or not Kerry even has a deep side to her—which I’m not so sure of—she’s made it clear she doesn’t want that from me. But I can’t be attracted to pinky head, and I can’t keep having wet dreams about her.
The station is busy. There has been another homicide on the other side of the city; apparently some guy was found stabbed to death. Later on I find out that it’s one of Knox’s men. One of the detectives pokes his head inside my office, asking for the files that I had been working on before I took over Wallace’s case.
“What’s our agenda for today?” Rogers asks, stretching his arms above himself.
“I think another trip to the university is necessary. I need to find out more about Tahlia and speak to her manager in that restaurant she works in. See if he can tell us anything interesting,” I say, wondering if maybe I’m being paranoid. Tahlia had been in Suranne’s room quite a lot. Her fingerprints are spread everywhere and that is slightly alarming. She said that they weren’t close, so why are her fingerprints all over the place?
“Well, that might be slightly more complicated, mate. She phoned to say that she doesn’t want to be questioned by you anymore, that she wants another detective,” Rogers states, smirking. “What the hell did you do to her?”
Anger flips through me, lighting my insides. She can’t have anyone else. I’m the leading investigator and she has to cooperate. I should have locked her up when I had a chance. Now she is spoiling my reputation.
“Too bad. She hasn’t got much choice. I don’t have fucking time for her drama. I can make her life very difficult if she forces me to.”
“She said that you were obnoxious and rude.” Rogers laughs. “She sounded pretty pissed off. Maybe back off for a bit and let me handle it?”
I wrap my fingers around the armchair, wondering if he is fucking with me. Sanderson couldn’t have called unless she had something to hide.
“No, you have shitloads of work to do in here. I’ll drive to campus and just look around for a bit, see if I can sniff out her issues without talking to her.”
“Whatever, man, just smooth this whole thing over with her. We have enough on our plate as it is,” he reminds me.
“She’s screwing with us, man. I can just feel it. Woo stated that she heard her and Wallace arguing downstairs, not just once but a few times. Plus her fingerprints are all over her room.”
He mutters something under his breath and then takes all the paperwork, ignoring my latest comment.
Around nine thirty I jump in my car and drive back to the campus for the third time this week. It’s not too far away from the station and for some obscure reason I’m excited to see her again. She probably is going to think that I’m stalking her. Maybe I just want to be close to her, without thinking about that damn case.
I park in the visitor’s car park and have a friendly chat with the porter for some time. He is a good ally to have.
I watch recordings from CCTV, tracing Tahlia’s movements, but all she ever does is go to her classes, work and her flat. She doesn’t seem to have any social life or a hobby.
I spot her several hours later trying to blend into a crowd of students. She’s walking fast to the building, not paying attention to anyone. I lick my lips, thinking about the way she talked to me in the classroom. The heat around my groin area is back and I have an urge to pull her against my chest and kiss her.
I follow her until she gets to her class. It’s another psychology subject. She’s inside, sitting at the back alone. I have forty-five minutes to kill. The admin office gives me Niku’s schedule and after some time I find him in the library. He doesn’t have much at all to say about Tahlia Sanderson. From what I can gather, he doesn’t like her much and doesn’t remember any arguments.
I take notes, but Niku doesn’t seem very talkative. I keep drilling him with questions until pinky head shows up. She triggers a fire deep in my fucking stomach, injecting me with excitement. She notices me, locks her body and shoots me a furious, challenging look. I only smirk, not planning to confront her today. She’s wearing tight jeans that show off her incredible ass, and a sleeveless T-shirt.
She is hot, but I never doubted that.
Tahlia doesn’t say anything to me and keeps walking. My badge gives me access to all the buildings
on campus, so I follow her around. Purely because I want to get to know her, understand her and because I fucking can’t take my eyes off her body.
Around lunchtime when I follow her to the canteen, she finally snaps. I order some food and sit on the other side of the room. I feel her approaching before I even lift my eyes. The electricity is zooming all over my skin, and I already know that this might turn ugly.
Chapter Nine
The vicious circle.
“Why are you following me around? If you want to ask me anything, go ahead. I’m sure you will get fired once your boss finds out that you’re stalking me,” she barks, leaning over my table. She’s turning me on trying to act tough, but we both know that it’s a game we both like to play. Some parts of my body are screaming to stop acting like a harsh cop and apologise. Behave like a human for once, give her the benefit of the doubt. We got off on the wrong foot, all because of my uncontrollable anger. My career is important to me, but I can’t deny that I’m affected by her alluring aura.
Everyone is staring at us now and I feel like I’m back in high school again. No one ever dared to mess around with Josh, and because we were mates, people stayed away from me too. After Steph’s passing we kind of lost contact and went our separate ways. The word in uni must have spread. Other students are whispering, probably expecting me to take her to the station. She can’t keep getting away with insults.
“I have nothing to say to you, Pinky. It’s a free country, and I’m hungry,” I say, lazily looking at the menu right in front of me. Food would be a good idea. “Can you recommend something?”
That doesn’t go well and she keeps looking at me like she is ready to punch me. There is that dark gleam in her eyes that just makes her more attractive. I could keep staring at her all day long. It seems to me that the whole canteen has stopped whatever they were doing and they’re just staring at our exchange. Tahlia’s rating must have gone up in popularity since her housemate was murdered.
Love & Hate Series Box Set 2 (3-4) - In Too Deep - Skimming the Surface Page 7