“You can’t just turn up here and pretend that you’re eating. It’s my fucking life and I have spoken to your boss. I’ve a right to get questioned by another detective,” she says with a hiss, folding her arms over her chest and sucking her lip piercing. I have to stop picturing her naked.
“I’m bloody starving. Are you going to recommend something on the menu or not? I heard that you work in a restaurant. You must be a terrible waitress if you talk to your customers the way you’re talking to me now.”
“Screw you,” she barks, then turns around and starts walking away.
“I would love to, Pinky, but the tattoos aren’t doing anything for me,” I shout after her. She gives me another furious look and shows off her middle finger. Some people are laughing, others staring back and forth at both of us. She doesn’t leave. Instead she gets her food and takes a seat a few tables away from me. I have no idea what I’m really doing here. There is nothing worse than being stuck and too scared to ask for directions. There are other detectives at the station and I have to just reach out and ask for help.
I get up with a heavy sigh and head over to the cashier to order food. There must be a link in the past to Suranne Wallace’s murder. It wasn’t a coincidence that she was set in the exact same position as Steph. The problem is that the victim had absolutely no connections to Steph. She lived on the other side of the country.
I sit down and wait for my food, keeping a close eye on Tahlia. She is consumed by one of her psychology books. People keep staring, but no one approaches her. For some reason I feel sorry for her. I know I shouldn’t, but she must be lonely. I order some salad with bits of chicken.
A woman with large breasts places the plate right in front of me ten minutes later, smiling widely. It looks like I’m getting special treatment.
“Here you go, gorgeous,” she says, then winks at me and walks away.
“Yes, here you go, butthole. Enjoy your food. I bet it will taste amazing now,” says another voice. Tahlia appears right in front of me and starts pouring tomato sauce all over my food.
I get up abruptly, ready to handcuff her to the fucking table, but then I realise that we are not alone and she is aiming for me to lose control. I pin her down with my hard look, imagining slamming my body against hers and finally feeling some kind of closeness. Crap, why do I want to get closer to her?
Before I have a chance to say anymore, she is already walking away, swaying her hips. I can’t stop staring at her arse. Finally after some time, I sit back down, knowing that these new cravings will remain unfulfilled.
I can see now that I have made a mistake. I will never gain her trust behaving like a total arsehole. I should have apologised about the bike, smoothed the whole conflict.
After I finish my food, I leave and decide to chat with her boss in the restaurant where she works, to see if he can shed some light on her carefully guarded personality.
It’s a small place in a cute location just by the park, but the restaurant doesn’t open up until six. In the end I get back to the station, annoyed that I behaved so immaturely, that I didn’t go through with simply asking her about the earlier phone call.
Back at the station I bump into Kerry.
“Hey, Inspector Thomson,” she greets me with a sweet smile. Today she is wearing a pencil skirt and a white blouse, looking sexy as hell. I’m feeling on edge, tangled with thoughts about a woman that’s done something to me, a woman I can’t have.
I look around to make sure that we are alone, and everyone seems busy. “Hey. You all right?” I ask.
“Fine. I have lots to do, so if you’ll excuse—”
“Kerry, listen, do you want to go out today after work? I know this really good place in town,” I fire out, without even thinking about it. Screw this. I need to forget about pinky head and give this thing with Kerry a chance. Dinner is a step forward.
Kerry’s face lightens up instantly. She bites her lips, making sure that no one is paying attention to us, before she takes a few steps towards me.
“Restaurant, hmmm. Well, I don’t know. You haven’t been very nice lately, Inspector Thomson,” she mutters, playing with my tie again.
“I want to make it up to you, so skip the bullshit and say yes. I’m going to pick you up at eight,” I tell her. That way I can catch two birds with one stone. Take a step toward something real with Kerry and talk to Tahlia’s boss.
“Fine, but you need to know that if I want you, I should have you. There is nothing in between,” she says. Her words sound cold and there’s a calculating look in her face, but maybe it’s just me avoiding getting close to someone again.
“Fine. Sorry for not being in the mood lately. Just wear something sexy tonight.” I continue back to my office, deciding that I have to make a phone call later on to Foster, tell her that I want to see her again. The therapy would probably make a difference. Kerry might be the solution to all my problems.
I go back to the main database and start searching for Tahlia Sanderson. The missing records make it look like someone has fiddled with them, but that can’t be right. My gut feeling tells me that she might have changed her name in the past. I look over the list of suspects from eight years ago. The case is long closed and I still haven’t spoken to Rogers about this. Two students and one black guy who wasn’t a student were seen in the area at the time of Steph’s death, but the detectives that ran the case didn’t charge anyone. I type the guy’s name in the database. Jeremy Rode. Still lives in London. Had been arrested a few times for robbery and possession of weed. The other two are clean as a whistle.
For a brief moment my thoughts stray to another girl—that girl I found in Rudolph’s house three years ago—remembering that I promised her that I would take care of her. Guilt and anger swirl inside me, causing my hands to clench until my nails bite into my palms. There was a reason that I never fulfilled that promise.
She was barely twenty-one and went through a real deal of abuse. But I left her, didn’t fight hard enough. After that one time in the hospital, my boss told me that she wasn’t my responsibility any longer, that someone else was taking over the case.
I close the internal system, wanting to punish myself, to stop feeling like a scumbag for abandoning her. I was only a trainee then, but this girl had no one, only me, and I chose not to challenge Crawly.
I switch off my computer and head over to see Rogers. He is still working.
“Go home. We’ll pick this up tomorrow. Lisa is probably waiting,” I tell him, grabbing my jacket. I have a feeling that Rogers might ask me to be his daughter’s godfather any day now. I don’t think I can handle it. That little creature doesn’t deserve me. I’m better off alone.
He nods and we both leave just after six. Kerry winks at me when I’m on my way down to the car. I massage my temple once. I start the engine, thinking about tonight’s date.
After a quick shower I’m ready to go. My hair is cut close to my skull. This is just the way I like it. If I want to do this right, I have to take Kerry out and then drop her home. This can’t be a booty call, but my way of telling her that I’m ready to commit to a relationship.
I wonder how Tahlia will react when she sees me in her workplace later on. The tattoos, piercing and that absurd hair—it should be a turn-off, but instead I’m getting hard thinking about her. The sudden rush of anxiety tells me that I’m a complete fool.
I arrive at Kerry’s address by eight. I haven’t booked the table in the restaurant, and I hope that we don’t have to wait long. My palms are sweaty, which isn’t right. I’m nervous, petrified that she will crush my idea, or that I won’t feel anything when I look into her eyes. A few minutes later Kerry strolls downstairs, looking good. She likes using a lot of makeup, and I can’t say that it suits her.
She kisses me deeply on the mouth, slipping her tongue inside. Nothing. For a long moment I kiss her, expecting to feel some sort of arousal, but my body is fucked up.
“You okay, Detective? I really hope that yo
u can handcuff me to the bed, because I have been a naughty, naughty girl today,” Kerry says.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Food before play, then we will see,” I reply and put my foot down. Kerry starts telling me about her brother’s business and some party that she went to the other day. I kind of switch off, responding when it’s necessary.
I find the car park in town, worrying that I might spook Tahlia if I show up in her place of work, but who cares? If she has nothing to hide, then she will prove this to me tonight.
“So what is this place that we’re going to?” Kerry asks, wrapping the crook of her arm around mine. She likes that strong, very sweet perfume that gives me a headache.
“It’s not big, around the corner from the university.”
“University? Well, I thought that we’d go somewhere more posh,” she mutters.
I don’t say anything to that and within ten minutes we approach the restaurant. It’s an old Victorian building and the place is called Valentino’s. Italian—that should be fine with me, because I can eat a horse tonight.
We walk in and I spot Tahlia instantly. She’s talking to the customers at the back. The place is packed and most of the tables are reserved. A guy in a funny moustache signs to me that he’s going to be with us in a second, while he’s on the phone.
My pulse starts pounding when the pinky head notices me. She narrows her eyes, says something to the customers and heads in our direction. She has a tight red top on and black pants. I don’t know why, but I keep thinking that we’ve seen each other before, but I know that I would remember a woman like her, for sure.
She plasters on a smile, approaching us.
“I’m sorry, but we are fully booked tonight,” she says with that sweet voice that sends a tremor through me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but all of a sudden I feel my dick twitching uncontrollably.
“Tahlia, it’s fine. I just had a cancellation on eleven,” says the guy from earlier on. “Sir, please follow me.”
Kerry giggles like it’s the best day of her life and I turn to follow them.
“One for me, Pinky,” I whisper, leaning down and at the same time inhaling her alluring scent. She flinches and shoots me an angry glare, but I’m already walking to the table.
“You were right, this place is great, although I would have preferred something much bigger. I guess your effort still counts,” Kerry says.
Within moments sexy Miss Sanderson appears at our table. She has ditched all the piercing tonight and her hair is tied up at the back in a ponytail. Her lips are tight, and I know that I’m the last person that she wants to serve tonight. I wish that she would swap places with Kerry and talk to me. I want to look at her, talk to her and imagine that we’re just two complete strangers that just met, not two people that hate each other.
Chapter Ten
Lust and some more arguments.
“Here are your menus. Would you like to order any drinks, or should I give you a minute?” Tahlia asks, looking at Kerry, pretending like I’m not even at the table. It looks like she can be polite enough if she wants to be.
“No, but we will have some champagne to start with,” Kerry says, folding her fingers together before I have a chance to tell Tahlia that we need some time to decide. She raises her eyebrows at Kerry with obvious surprise and then vanishes, leaving us alone. I force myself to keep my eyes on my date, but I can’t help but feel the pull towards this magnetic girl that frustrates me so much.
“Why did you order champagne? I thought we were going to have wine?” I question her.
Kerry bites her lip and tosses her hair behind her. All of a sudden I realise that this whole date is bad fucking idea. I can’t get close to a woman that makes me emotionally numb. I should have come alone and tried to speak to Tahlia, apologise that I damaged her bike during the first night we met, and offer to pay for it. Then talk to her manager after we smoothed things over.
“I thought you could relax a little. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately,” she says and starts moving her leg over my calf. She’s either horny or she wants to wind me up. The tiny voice in my head reminds me that normally I don’t showcase any affection in public, but I should at least try.
Tahlia comes back with a bottle of Prosecco. She still doesn’t make eye contact with me when she’s opening the bottle. Her breaths are heavy, almost laboured. The heat crawls over my neck, sending signals to my brain to say something, complement the space and show her that I don’t want to cause any trouble. But I don’t, and Tahlia pours the champagne and then walks away.
I can smell her scent even when she’s not around, waking up that unexplained need to have her. I can’t seem to think straight when she is around.
“I’m fine, Kerry. I don’t need to relax,” I tell her.
“Don’t be so grumpy. You asked me out and I’m flattered.” She pouts. “Tell me more about this case that you’re investigating. Have you guys got any leads?”
“Sort of, but nothing concrete. You know that I’m not supposed to talk to you about it,” I insist, finally able to pick up what I want to eat. I glance around the restaurant. It’s quite busy and Tahlia is chatting to the older couple in the back. She appears to be different around other people, less hostile. My fascination with her reaches a boiling point. I shouldn’t even be here, acting like I’m a big tough cop. In the end of the day, it’s my first homicide and I have no idea what I’m really doing.
“Micah, are you even listening to me? I was saying that I know what you can and cannot say. I’m just curious, that’s all. Maybe I was wrong. Clarke gave you this case because he has faith in you.”
“He’s probably just testing me, Kerry. We found out that the victim had this mysterious boyfriend and we are trying to track him down,” I say, a little annoyed that I have to pay attention to her.
“Wow, that’s exciting. I’m sure you’ll solve it soon. You’re so smart. I never asked you, but where were you from originally?”
“London. Lived there until I left to uni. I was born in England,” I add, scanning the menu again.
“What about your family? Are they still there? You never talk about them,” she points out.
Hell, I don’t know why she is so curious tonight. Maybe she sensed that I’ve been acting odd and wants to know what I’m expecting from her.
“Because there is nothing to talk about, Kerry. They’re—”
“Are you ready to order?” the electrifying voice asks all of a sudden, so I don’t finish what I mean to say. Tahlia stands only inches away from me and again I’m wishing that she could take Kerry’s seat.
Normality—I need to experience that once in a while. Except I’m not sure what it is for me.
Kerry frowns and I lift my eyes at the pinky head.
“Yes, I am. Kerry?”
“Yes, I would like…”
While Tahlia takes Kerry’s order I have a chance to look at her properly. My pulse spikes when I realise how beautiful she looks tonight. I start to undress her with my eyes.
She writes as fast as she can, taking Kerry’s order and treating me like I don’t exist.
I order a steak for myself, because I don’t want to waste anymore time. I take the menu from my date and hand it back to Tahlia. Our fingers brush accidentally and I feel her stiffen at the contact.
Our eyes lock for a brief moment. We stare at each other for longer than necessary, and suddenly I see in her that girl that I rescued. The abused, haunted creature that kept wrapping her arms around me and begging me to keep her safe. The voices in my head shut down that absurd comparison. Tahlia is just a stranger.
She starts walking away before I have a chance to say anything.
“The waitress is odd, and what’s with her hair? I’m not sure how she even got a job in the restaurant like this,” Kerry comments, making a face.
“She’s a student,” I snap.
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. She most probably is. The
restaurant is close to the campus,” I add, backing off. Kerry doesn’t need to know that I have questioned Tahlia and that I was following her earlier in the day.
“Right,” Kerry says. “So where were we? Oh yeah, I was asking you about your parents?”
I’m not in the mood to tell her that I grew up on the council estate and that my parents are worthless. She won’t like the real truth. She won’t be able to handle the fact that I’m not perfect.
“I don’t want to talk about my parents. They’re in the past.”
“Are they still alive?”
“Yes, they live in London and we don’t keep in touch. Cut the crap, Kerry. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She stares at me for a moment and then takes a sip of the champagne, leaving a mark from her lipstick on the glass. Her leg moves higher towards my thigh and she’s smiling.
“What are you doing on Sunday next week? You’re not on call, are you?” she asks with a hint of annoyance.
“Nothing. I have no plans. I’ll probably work, go to the gym, maybe do some shopping.”
“Well, how about you come with me to this party in Park Plaza in town? I need a date and you owe me for all these blow jobs I’ve given you,” she adds casually.
I blink rapidly, wondering if it’s a hint. If Kerry is finally serious enough to go out with me on a proper date. Maybe she is willing to go the distance with me.
“Sounds good, but what’s going to happen after that? We would be dating officially, right?” The words come out of my mouth before I can process what I really wanted to say.
Kerry narrows her eyes and puts her drink back on the table. “Officially? Oh, hon… I’m sorry, but I think you misunderstood me. I need a date for the party, that’s all. You’re still a baby, and I’m still fishing around, looking for that right man to come along.” She laughs, like I made the best joke in my life.
Blood rushes to my ears, while I stare at her in disbelief. I’m a baby? I finally realise that all Kerry ever wanted from me was to be her itch scratcher. Someone that passes the time, someone that makes her feel better. Shit, I was blaming myself for being so emotionally damaged that I needed time to work up the courage to risk a real relationship with her, but all that time she was just using me.
Love & Hate Series Box Set 2 (3-4) - In Too Deep - Skimming the Surface Page 8