The Reluctant Wolf and His Fated Mate: A Howls Romance (White Mountain Shifters Book 1)

by Lisa Carlisle

  She drew in a sharp breath that felt like shards of ice in her dry throat. “What’s going on?”

  He raised a hand, palm facing her. "I can explain."

  She covered her chest and stepped backwards, heart and lungs still pumping at downhill speed. “What the hell did I just see?” She shook her head. “No, wait. I don't think I want to know.”

  He exhaled and his broad shoulders sagged. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

  “Find what out?” Her mind raced, questions churning at a manic speed. She scanned him from head down. "Why would anyone strip naked in the snow like this? It's crazy.” She raised her hands to her temples and shook her head. “Wait—are you crazy or has someone drugged me?”

  "You're not drugged, and I’m not crazy.” His voice was low and slow, like he was trying to calm someone who was irrational. “I can explain why you’ve seen wolves."

  She released a slow exhale. "Okay, why?" She pursed her lips.

  "Because—" he began. "Because—I’m a wolf shifter."

  “A what?” Sophie threw her hands in the air and snorted. “Crazy it is, then.” She motioned between them. “I think fourteen gray hairs just popped out of my skull.”

  “I’m not crazy, Sophie. My pack lives here on the mountain. Another pack lives over there.” He pointed across the range.

  “Pack? As in a wolf pack?” Her eyes bulged. Her gut hollowed. Devastation dug deep. It was like the shock of finding Bobby with her cousin all over again, only this time, it felt a thousand times worse because it was Damon.

  Although she’d only known him for such a short time, she’d sensed something between them. A connection. One that was deeper than anything between her and Bobby, which now seemed shallow in comparison.

  “It was you that I saw fighting the other wolf. You lied to me. Tried to convince me I’d seen coyotes.” Her voice was uneven. His deceit cut like shards of glass exploding from her chest.

  “I didn’t.” He rubbed his jaw. “Yes, it was me, but it’s not like what you think.”

  “Well then, what do you want to call this—leaving out the fact that you are a wolf?” Wait, what was she saying? It wasn’t possible. Yet, she’d seen him change. She rubbed her eyes. Exhaustion suddenly weighed on her as if she’d spent the entire day skiing the trails and had returned home on jelly legs.

  Damon’s shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry. I know it seems that way, but it’s not solely up to me. Our pack—we have secrets for a reason. Humans knowing what we really are could be dangerous.”

  She pointed to her chest. “You think I’m dangerous? Why would you sleep with me then?”

  “No, Sophie. Of course not. It’s others. Think about it—if the wrong humans found out about our true nature, think of how they would try to exploit us.”

  His words made sense on one level. A government or military organization would almost certainly seek an opportunity to achieve their means.

  Still, the bottom line was he’d deceived her.

  Just like the others.

  Her heart twisted and tumbled insides, as if she’d been crushed rolling downhill in an avalanche. She thought Damon was better than them. She was wrong.

  “How can I ever trust you?” Her voice caught in her throat.

  He lowered his head. “I don’t know.” He glanced behind him. “Let me grab my clothes and we can go back to my place where we can talk.”

  Sophie wrapped her arms around herself and walked in a clouded daze back to his cabin. Before she stepped in, she hesitated. Who was he really, this man she had slept with? Did she even know him at all?

  She sighed and walked by the hot tub and through the patio doors. So much for her expectations for the night—shattered, like how her heart—torn to tatters.

  Damon followed soon after, now clothed again. His eyes implored her as he asked, “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  Hot tears scalded her eyes. She blinked them back and demanded, “How about you start by telling me the truth?

  Chapter 14

  Sophie

  Once Sophie was back inside Damon’s cabin, sitting on the couch, he paced barefoot over the hardwood floor. He’d put on a pair of black shorts, but nothing else.

  “You see…” he began. “Everything you saw with wolves is real.”

  “Why did you fight that white wolf?”

  He exhaled. “I detected your scent going off trail and I followed you to see if you were in trouble.”

  “What?” Her eyes bulged. “My scent?” What kind of insane story was that? “What?”

  “I have my wolf’s sense of scent.” He pulled out a wooden chair from the table near the window and turned it to face her. He sat down and raised his gaze to meet hers. “Please have an open mind while I tell you this. I know it’s not something humans are familiar with.”

  No freakin’ shit. She blinked a few times. “Okay.”

  “Legend is that wolf shifters have one mate, our other half. My wolf.” He placed his hand on his chest. “My wolf is a part of my being. He sensed that you are the one the night we met in that club six months ago. I tried not to accept it. The very idea of having a life mate has always terrified me. I spent all those months struggling with letting you go without at least trying to find a way to see you again. And then, when I scented you off the trail, I had to follow.”

  Her mouth fell open. She said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

  “You’d wandered into Sacco territory, that’s the land claimed by another wolf pack. I knew that crossing the boundary would be bad. We’d signed a treaty agreeing to land division over a decade ago. But I had to find you and make sure you were safe—especially since you were on their lands. When I crossed the borderline, one of them attacked.”

  “Holy shit.” She couldn’t keep from interrupting over that. “Are you telling me you fought because you stepped onto their ‘land’? What kind of ridiculous crap is that?”

  Damon shrugged. “Wolves are territorial.”

  She snorted and bit back another retort.

  “The thing is, Sophie, spending time with you this week has changed me. I’ve struggled against wanting a mate for so long, but it’s something I can’t deny. It’s so monumental. Life changing.” He swallowed. “After last night, I have no doubts.” He closed his eyes. A second later, he reopened them, and the depth of his vulnerability tugged at her. “For me, there is no other. There will never be another.”

  Her ribs clenched her lungs and her heart ceased to beat.

  “Sophie, you are my mate.”

  Confusion battled with strong emotions in her mind. The betrayal was too raw. “What are you saying, Damon? You barely know me.”

  “Do you believe in soul mates?”

  “I—I—” She stammered and glanced outside the window. The stars were beyond her vision. “I don’t know.”

  “I wish I told you before. I planned to tell you tonight. I didn’t know where to begin—or how you’d react.”

  She stood. “I’ll tell you how I feel. Betrayed. You kept things from me. I asked you about the wolves when I woke up here confused and scared a week ago. You could have told me then.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Instead you—deceived me.”

  “Sophie, please. I’m trying to explain.”

  “No.” Each word sliced through her and deepened the wound. “I’m getting my stuff and leaving.” She avoided his gaze. “Please leave so I can pack in peace.”

  “I will do as you wish.” The pain in his voice almost made her relent. The sound of the glass door opening was soon followed by it closing.

  He’d left.

  After a few seconds, she glanced in that direction. His shorts were on the floor. She ran over to the window and watched Damon walk with head bowed back to the forest path. Once under the cover of foliage, his body shimmered and expanded once more. She didn’t dare blink while he morphed back to the form of a gray wolf.

  Her mouth fell open. Utterly amazing. She wouldn’
t have believed it unless she’d seen it.

  Which might have been one of the reasons he hadn’t told her.

  The wolf turned and glanced at her from those intense golden eyes. Damon’s eyes. No wonder she’d thought his were spectacular. The wolf released a low whine and then bounded deeper into the forest.

  Sophie needed to get out of here, get off this mountain with strange wolves, and return to her life in the city. Her life there made sense. What she’d just discovered here didn’t.

  She needed to go home.

  Damon

  In wolf form, Damon bounded through the woods under the spotlight of a full golden moon. His wolf yearned to return to her.

  She’s afraid. She doesn’t want us, Damon declared, those very words in his head leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.

  His wolf stopped and leaned back on his hindquarters before howling in anguish.

  As Damon resumed running through the trees across the mountain, his soul ached. This was what he feared all his life, the worst thing that could happen. He found his mate only to have her reject him.

  It was all his fault. Why hadn’t he told Sophie before now?

  Instead, she found out in the worst possible way. She witnessed him shift. Without any forewarning or explanation, she’d seen something she didn’t know was possible—and it terrified her.

  Damn. He wished he’d scented her approach. Snow and the direction of the breeze hadn’t worked in his favor. He bounded through the woods in wolf form to head to the border line between the packs. Valen had reported that he’d detected a foreign wolf’s scent in Franconia territory. Damon had been going to investigate when Sophie had witnessed him shift.

  Now he was torn apart with anguish, desperate to return to her and bloodthirsty to destroy any Sacco wolf that threatened his pack. He’d protect his pack. And most of all, he’d protect his mate.

  At least while Sophie was here on the mountain. And then what?

  She was leaving him, returning to the city. There was nothing he could do to stop her.

  How had he messed it all up so badly? Had he acted in a way to fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy?

  That had to be it. There was no other way to describe how he botched this relationship. He should have been wooing his mate, cherishing her—not keeping secrets and hurting her.

  He’d screwed up and made his worst nightmare come true.

  When Damon arrived at the borderline between packs, Rafe and Grayson had already joined Valen. All were in wolf form. Damon sniffed at the stench of Sacco wolves in Franconia territory.

  What does this mean? Damon asked. War? Which he would have instigated at being the cause of strife.

  Rafe growled. Let’s not jump to violence yet. He sniffed at the ground. They didn’t breach our lands too deeply before they turned back. If we can avoid bloodshed, we will. Enforcers, stay alert tonight.

  Grayson padded over to Damon. You appear on edge. Is it just because of this provocation?

  Damon’s heart plummeted. She rejected me, he admitted to all three of them. She spotted me shift. Everything I have feared my entire life has come to fruition.

  I’m sorry, Grayson said.

  What else was there to say? Nothing could fix this mess. Was it only a matter of time before Damon’s anguish led him to flee the pack to live alone in the wilderness, just like his father?

  And then die alone.

  Dread suffocated him like an avalanche.

  Damon relived painful memories as he patrolled the border in wolf form, keeping his head low to detect foreign scents. He pictured his mother with her long black hair pleated over one shoulder. She knelt down and placed her hands on his shoulders and told him she was leaving the pack.

  She’d given him a gentle smile. “Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  “Then why are you leaving?” Damon had asked.

  Her smile had vanished, and she’d glanced down. “Because I have to. This place isn’t for me.”

  “Where will you go?” he’d asked. He didn’t understand it then and still didn’t. What about their world wasn’t right for her?

  She’d gazed off into the distance. “I don’t know.”

  “Take me with you,” Damon had begged before throwing his arms around her neck.

  She’d hugged him back like she wouldn’t let him go, but then she released him. “You’re better off living here with the pack. They’re your family as much as I am.” She’d kissed his check. “Be a good boy.”

  Then she’d stood and gave him one last smile. “No matter where I am, I’ll always be with you. And I’ll always love you.” She turned and walked into the woods, her brown clothing soon disappearing amid the green and brown frock of the forest.

  Damon never saw her again.

  If she loved him, why would she leave him?

  His father withered, slowly losing his mind to his anguish. Fortunately, the pack cared for Damon.

  Grayson, only a few years older, had adopted him like a younger brother. “Some wolves aren’t fit for pack life. Don’t let it bother you.”

  Of course it did. Not only did Damon miss his mother, but his father became more detached. It was a surprise to no one when he declared that he was also leaving the pack.

  He’d died within the year.

  Reports of his mother’s death followed three years later.

  Both of his parents had become lone wolves and had died alone. Was that also to be his fate?

  From that point, his mindset had hardened. He wouldn’t suffer that same fate as his father. Besides, he had his mother’s blood in him. Maybe he was like her and not suited to living with a mate among a pack. Yet, Damon soon dismissed that as he yearned to belong to something and someone. He’d never leave his pack.

  That must have meant he was more like his father. Tonight, he never felt more like him —lost, rejected, desperate.

  Doomed.

  Was there any way to crawl out of the despair before it drowned him?

  He’d do anything to return to living the simple life he’d craved, serving as pack enforcer, and working ski patrol. Why had he messed up a comfortable life by inviting his mate into his life when she’d inevitably cause anguish?

  Give her time, his wolf insisted. We were happy. We’d found our other half.

  Damon scowled. She wasn’t coming back to him.

  Somehow, he’d find a way to go on without Sophie. And it wasn’t as if he had a choice. She was going back to the city and he was staying here in the mountains.

  Unfortunately for him, she’d be taking a piece of his soul with her.

  Chapter 15

  Sophie

  Was everything that Damon said to her this week a lie?

  Sophie stormed back into the guest room of his house to pack all her belongings, hell-bent on leaving all the madness on this mountain.

  A small voice tugged at her. What if his theory about soulmates was true?

  It didn’t matter. He hadn’t trusted her. A relationship had to be built on trust.

  After he’d encouraged her to move up here, she’d started to consider it. She’d even begun to think about the practicalities of starting over as a freelance designer, both seeking clients online or bringing her portfolio to businesses here in the village.

  What a fool she’d been.

  While she stuffed all the clothing into one of her bags, she replayed all that had happened. She still couldn’t believe what she had seen. It was impossible.

  Yet, she had witnessed Damon transform from a man to a massive wolf. She was sure she wasn’t drugged or hallucinating. And she didn’t feel like she was losing her mind.

  And then he’d told her that crazy story about being a wolf shifter. A legend! A fantasy. It couldn’t be real.

  But weren’t some legends based on fact? If what she had seen was any indication of reality, then it would prove to be true.

  He mentioned the wolf packs that lived in this range. She pictured the fo
otprint she had seen that night she got lost, both human sized boots and wolf paws. Was it possible that one had shifted into the other?

  That was indeed what she’d seen Damon do, right? He said he was tracking her. Insane!

  He’d said it was to ensure she was safe. When she’d seen the wolves fighting—much larger than any wolves she’d ever known existed—she never would have expected they had a human side.

  He’d crossed into the other pack’s territory to find her. Did that mean he’d risked himself for her?

  Her questions didn’t matter. He was just another example of her poor choices in men. Eventually, they all betrayed her. His might not have been with infidelity, and yet it hurt more than any of the others. Why?

  Because she’d developed feelings for him. They were so powerful that this inevitable end led to more anguish.

  Sophie had to get off this mountain and return home. She couldn’t see Damon again. She couldn’t look into his eyes and remember what he’d kept from her.

  Even if he had said that she was the only one for him. Even if the vulnerability in his amber eyes tugged still tugged at her.

  She had to protect herself, especially her heart.

  Sophie took one last glance at the guest room where she’d stayed, starting with that night he’d found her and cared for her. Last night, they’d slept in his bed, and it had been magical…

  She groaned. Yes, she had to get away as soon as possible. Nothing remained for her in this cabin but reminders of Damon.

  Sophie called for a cab to take her down to the bus station. She grabbed her bags and brought them outside the cabin. Then she hauled her skis and poles from the mud room, put her ski jacket on, and stepped back outside to wait.

  Her heartbeat quickened as she scanned the woods ahead where she’d witnessed Damon change. She took a handful of steps forward to peek in and see if he was still visible in between the pine trees and their dense coverage. He was gone.

  Had she even spared a minute to think about the situation from his perspective? No, she’d just focused on herself and her pain. What he said did make sense, somewhat, if she could find any sense amid the insanity.