by TC Matson
“As in Michael Lawson? Your wildest crush in high school?”
Amanda bites her lip and holds up her left hand showing off a diamond that sparkles against the lights. “The one and only.”
“Oh my gah,” I squeak. “I’m so happy for you!”
Ashley nudges my shoulder. “A lot has changed since you left us.” It wasn’t meant as a dig, but her words are like a slap to the face. “Except,” she bats her eyes overdramatically and bites her lip, “the way Blake looks at you. That hasn’t changed one bit. He was undressing you. Have you two caught up on old times?”
“No.” I shake my head. “We’ve spoken a time or two, but only for a few minutes. I don’t have much to say to him.” I leave out how much of an asshole he’s been.
The song changes and the first chords of the next song strike. Instantly, my heart slams against my chest, my stomach drops, and my lungs freeze. Emotions rush up my throat, choking me. Delaney’s head snaps to me and instincts have me glancing to Blake. He’s turned his chair back around, but I see his shoulders tense, his back snapping straight. The moment John Michael Montgomery’s voice starts, Blake jerks to his feet, sending his chair sliding backward, and he storms out of the bar without looking back.
“Are you okay?” Ashley asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.
My gaze slides back to my sister. Remorse stares back at me. “Yeah. Yeah. I, um…”
The chorus hits… “Long as I live. Long as I breathe…”
“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you around.” I rush away, snatching my purse from the chair.
“Dakota…” Delaney’s sympathetic voice rips me apart further. I shake my head and hurry past everyone, hoping like hell Blake isn’t in the path between the door and my car. I can’t handle him being a jerk right now. I’d snap or break. Possibly both.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks by the time I yank open my car door and drop into the driver’s seat.
“Dammit,” I cuss, swiping away the wetness. I haven’t heard that song since I left town. I’ve avoided it at all costs. Too many damn memories. Too much hurt. Blake swore that song was written for us and I loved to listen to him sing it to me. He’d pour his heart into the lyrics and I’d pour my soul into the power of his love.
I flip down the visor and look at myself in the mirror. “Suck it up,” I tell myself, taking a deep calming breath to help pull myself back together. “He doesn’t deserve any more of your tears.” A few minutes later, I crank my car and go home, making myself a promise to not cry into my pillow tonight.
Chapter Nine
Blake
Tonight’s been a damn nightmare—a fuck-all. Watching her do that damn line dance brought a flurry of memories slamming into me. Hours of watching her practice it everywhere she could, the way her hips moved smoothly, and the way she bit her bottom lip during particular maneuvers never realizing she does… Watching her do it as the woman she’s become? I couldn’t rip my damn gaze away if I tried.
Then to add insult to injury, our song came on. I was able to handle being in the same place at the same time with her. I was able to handle watching her lithe, sexy body move. But when that song started, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t have the strength to keep it together.
She rushed out of the bar not long after I stormed out, dropped into her car, and after a few moments, she left. Part of me wishes I was a fly on the wall to know what she’s feeling, and the other part hopes it hurts like fucking hell.
Leaning my head back to the head rest, I close my eyes. I used to dream of the day I could see her again. I had it all planned out. We’d talk and the friendship we once had would keep us sane enough to hash things out. We’d navigate what went wrong and finally put some closure on open wounds, but since seeing her again, all the hurt, all the pain, and all the broken memories have dulled that hope. The heartache and destruction she caused echoes through my chest. Eleven fucking years later, and that shit still hurts just as deeply as the day she left.
I hear a soft tap on the window and peek open an eye to Leo.
“You good?” he asks, somberly when I lower the window.
“I’m good,” I lie.
“Need some alcohol therapy at my place?”
Tightening my lips, I shake my head without a word.
“Head to the field and unload a few rounds?”
I blow a laugh through my nose, staring at the spot where she was just parked. “Nah.”
He’s quiet for a moment and scuffs up some gravel under his boots. “You hanging on to all that hurt ain’t good for you. I think it would do you some good to talk to her. Hash out all that shit before she leaves to go home. Just like you’ve talked about doing. Close that door and all.” He clears his throat. “That’s just my two cents, man.”
“She’ll be gone soon and I won’t have to see her again.”
“Until the next time.”
“I ain’t got nothing to say to her,” I retort, frustrated at all the feelings.
“Might want to check yourself in a mirror. You’ve been a burly asshole since her grandmother died and you knew she’d be coming back to Cameron Falls. You’ve been carrying a lot of hurt for years. Time to get it off your chest.” He raps his knuckles twice on my door panel. “Call me later, man.”
Every year the town shuts down for the Cowboy Festival. They close the roads to vehicles and open them for pedestrians. The streets are littered with large white vendor tents lining the sidewalks and people selling things from jewelry and clothing items to animal supplies and small livestock. It’s a big deal. People from all over come out. The town even sets up a small petting zoo for the kids with live music, incredible foods and sweets, a parade, and hell, even a night dance for the adults. For over sixty years, Cameron Falls has hosted this festival. I’ve attended every single one of them since I was born. Mom and Pops brought me every year, and as I got older, I’d show up with my girlfriend or with friends.
This year, Rhett invited me to come with him after we knocked out the ranch chores. Now we’re in search of Presley, Hadley, and Willow who came earlier. We’re heading in the direction of “Sweets Row” where people deep fry everything and sell homemade desserts. It’s the ladies’ favorite place. As we round the corner, we spot them under a large teal umbrella shielding them from the afternoon sun. My eyes immediately land on one woman in particular—Dakota. Her chestnut hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. Gray and white striped shorts show off her long, smooth, slender legs all the way to her fancy as hell sandals. She’s stunningly beautiful, looking more out of place than ever.
“Fuck,” I grumble under my breath.
“Behave, Blake,” Rhett warns.
“I always do,” I hit him with a sly grin.
“From what I’ve heard—”
“You always believe the rumors?” I ask, cutting him off. “If so, did Presley ever report back to her government officials?” I ask with a chuckle and then tip my chin to where the women are standing. “She looks like the city puked her out on the streets.”
“Yeah. But you still think she’s beautiful.”
“Need me to admit that so you can feel better about yourself? You’re right. She is beautiful. Always has been. That opinion will never change. But she looks better in boots.”
“You—”
“Blake!” Hadley shouts. She drops whatever sugary treat she was eating, scrambles around the picnic table and charges toward me. She acts like she hasn’t seen me in forever, when in fact, we see each other several times a week. Not that I’m complaining. This little girl owns my heart. Squatting, I scoop her up as her little body slams into mine and she hugs my neck. “They said they’re going to make fresh funnel cakes really soon.”
Dramatically, I drop my head back and look to the sky. “Yessss.” I pop a kiss to her cheek and then glance to Rhett with a bastard of a grin. “Me first, huh? Told you I was her favorite.” I set her back down.
I almost get an eye roll from him just before he leans
and kisses Presley on the forehead. “You’re the one staying up with her since you enjoy feeding her all the sweets.”
Presley smiles innocently up to him. “I’ll just sleep when she crashes.”
“Willow. Delaney. Dakota.” He greets everyone. “Feels strange not seeing Granny’s stand out here.”
Delaney smiles a little sad. “Yeah. Maybe next year I’ll open it back up.”
“How’s Mary doing?” he asks Dakota.
“She’s doing well. Keeping busy.” Jesus, her smile is fucking beautiful. “She asked me to have you call her when you get a moment. She asked Dad, but he keeps forgetting.” I can’t keep my eyes off her lips.
Rhett chuckles. “She sent in the troops. Huh?”
“She did.”
Dammit. I rip my gaze away from her and look around. People are everywhere, but I don’t really see them. I just need a distraction.
“I was just telling Dakota she needed to come for dinner before she leaves,” Presley tells Rhett. “Maybe a family dinner since she missed the last one.”
The reminder that she’ll be leaving again hits me in the chest and burns me with irritation. “Country life too hard for you, city slicker?”
She cuts her tawny brown eyes at me and sharpens them into daggers. “No, Blake. It isn’t. It’s the fact that my life isn’t here.”
Fuck that hurt. And it pisses me off.
“That’s right. You ran off like you didn’t have a damn thing here.”
“Blake,” Rhett hisses under his breath.
Dakota rocks back and crosses her arms over her chest. “You realize the past is the past. Right? Thought for sure you’d grow up and move on by now, but I can tell by the contemptible way you’ve been acting toward me, you’re still harboring childish feelings.”
“That was the politest way of calling me an asshole.” I laugh. “Figured city slickers had more colorful words than that. The old Dakota sure did.”
“Blake,” Rhett hisses again.
“What?” I snap.
“Stop.” He levels me with a look that says I’m way out of line.
I am. I know I am. But years of bottled-up hurt has me lashing out like the eighteen-year-old I was when I was left with no answers. No closure. Not even a damn goodbye. Nothing but a destructive heartache.
I open my mouth to show my ass, but Hadley skips up to me, stopping the god-awful immaturity I was about to spew. “They just pulled the cakes out of the fryer.” She bounces with excitement. “If we don’t go now, they’re not going to be fresh.”
Smiling down at her, I hold out my hand. “What are we waitin’ for then?” The moment her little hand is in mine, it grounds me. Gone is the anger. “Come on, Pipsqueak. I’d much rather spend time with my favorite girl.” Well…almost gone is the anger. Tipping my chin to everyone and ignoring Dakota, I cock a smug brow to Rhett and walk away.
Rhett texts me to come see him when I’m done with the morning chores. That was an hour ago and now I’m knocking on his office door.
“What’s up, boss man?” I drop my shoulder to the frame.
He looks up from his paperwork, and leans back into his chair with a smirk. “I’m boss man today, huh? You kissin’ ass?”
I chuckle. “You know I’m not an ass kisser.”
Leaning his forearms on the edge of his desk, I watch his face transform. Whatever he’s about to tell me, I’m not going to like it. At all. “I need you to do me a favor. And before you pitch a fit, hear me out.”
Suspicious, I quirk a brow and keep my mouth shut.
“I spoke with Mary yesterday. She needs help with a few things around Granny’s house, one of them being the shed in the backyard that isn’t far from falling in. Richard doesn’t feel comfortable on that tall of a ladder.”
Pushing off the frame, I straighten up. “What are you asking me to do, Rhett?”
He blows out a breath. “I need you to go over there to help out and do the few things she needs.” I start to interrupt but he nails me with a look, holding his hand up and shutting me up. “I would do it, Blake. I really would, but I don’t have time.”
“Then tell Mary you’ll do it another day,” I toss out, knowing it’s a dick thing to say. “Send someone else.”
He gives his head a shake. “And who would you like me to send? Hunter? The shed would fall on top of him. Davis? He’s busy with the stables and I don’t trust Hunter with the horses yet. I would go, but, again, I don’t have time this week,” he rebukes harshly. “She just lost her mother and that entire family has been a part of ours for years. You’d do it without question if it weren’t for Dakota being in town. Just because you’re holding onto a grudge with her daughter doesn’t mean you need to take it out on Mary. She’s been a second mother to you. Wouldn’t you want someone to help Ma if something happened to us?”
“A fucking guilt trip?” I grit.
“Is it working? Because if not, I’ve got more to thicken it up with.”
Grinding my molars, I scowl.
“I’m not asking you to be happy about this. But I am asking you to be the man you are, the man you were raised to be, and help them out.”
Straight for the fucking jugular. “What all does she need help with?”
I catch the tic at the corner of his mouth…
Prick.
Chapter Ten
Dakota
Momma’s in the kitchen baking an apple pie when I come down, freshly showered and in desperate need of good coffee. Specifically a latte. But for now, I have to settle for a cup from the pot in the corner.
“Mmmm. Something smells fantastic. What are you cooking this early in the morning?” I kiss the side of her head as I pass going to the cabinet where the mugs are.
“What’s it smell like?” she says, light-heartedly smiling up to me.
“Your famous apple pie, but surely you’re not baking at this god-awful hour.”
“It’s eight in the morning.” She sounds horrified. “The morning is halfway over.”
I take a sip of coffee. “If you want to be technical, no. It’s seven where I live and also, nine is the halfway point of the morning.”
“Dakota Jayne,” she gives me a dirty look behind her smile.
A grin splits my face and I take another sip of hot liquid gold.
“Charlotte asked me to lunch today. I have someone going to Granny’s to help fix a few things. Would you mind going over there? If you feel like finishing up the back bedroom, you know what I want and what I want to donate.”
“You trying to get out of work, Momma?”
She laughs, tossing the rag at me.
“I don’t mind. Who’s coming to fix what?”
“That shed out back needs fixin’ before the snow comes and it falls in. Your dad isn’t comfortable being on a ladder that high anymore. We’re no spring chickens. A few boards need to be replaced on the back deck and a new porch swing needs hanging. Figured I’d have whoever comes to fix the shed, fix the other things too.”
“Let me finish my coffee first. I’ll head over there and get to work on that back room.”
She smiles at me and then it slips away. “I hate you live so far away. What will it take to keep you home? What if I give you Granny’s house? It’s beautiful and you’ve always loved it.”
She’s right about Granny’s house. I’ve always thought it was stunning. Two stories. A wrap around porch. Nothing but land around it with no neighbors….
“Momma. You know I don’t really like this town. Plus, I have a very successful life in California. You could open Granny’s house as a bed and breakfast and make good money off it. Then Daddy could officially retire.”
Her shoulders drop and she shakes her head. “I’m not sure what I want to do with the house. Delaney and Wyatt have a house already. I grew up there, but I don’t need it. I just thought…” she trails off.
“I promise I’ll do better and come see you more often,” I tell her.
Patting my cheek, she
kisses my forehead. “I really hope so. We’ve missed you a lot.”
I’m grabbing my purse when Momma comes down the stairs. Her bronzy chocolate-colored hair frames her face with her bangs swooping to the side. She’s put a touch of makeup on and changed into a pretty lavender shirt with black dress pants.
“Wow, Momma! Look at you! Daddy’s gonna be jealous he missed this.”
She laughs and looks down to smooth the bottom of her shirt. “I wasn’t sure where Charlotte is taking me so I wanted to be prepared. It isn’t too much, is it?”
“No. Not at all. You look beautiful.”
“I’m too old to look beautiful, baby. But I had to put on this nonsense to hide these bags under my eyes,” she waves a finger over her makeup.
“Well, you look beautifully presentable and I think you need to skip out on Charlotte, kidnap Daddy and go on a date.”
Momma titters as she heads into the kitchen. She places the apple pie in a purple pie Tupperware and hands it to me. “Make sure you put this on the stove when you get there. It’s cool, but not enough.”
“Okay. Who do I need to fight for this apple pie?”
She tenses, her entire body becoming rigid. “Blake will be there soon.”
The floor drops out from under me. A jolt of trepidation charges through my veins and the air rushes past my lips. “Momma…” I breathe. “Wha— Why?”
Concern swirls in her eyes when they meet mine. “I asked Rhett, but he’s busy, so he sent Blake. That boy’s been part of this family for a long while. You’ve not been here, Dakota. He comes often to help your daddy. Both them boys.”
“Don’t do this to me. Not now. You know our history. Why couldn’t any of this wait?”
“Eleven years is a long time. It’s time to leave the past in the past. I’m not going to argue about this. You probably won’t see him anyway. I love you and I’ll see you when you get back.”