by Karli James
“What’s that face?”
“What? No face. I have no face. Just my regular, ole’ boring Nina face.”
“You’re a liar. What do you know?”
“I don’t know anything!”
“Lies.”
“Not lies. I promise you; I do not know anything.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Ugh! I really, do not have some crazy information. All I have is a sisterly perspective. Jude has never looked at a woman the way he looks at you. He’s never talked about a woman, or fought to have a woman, or been…as happy with a woman, as he has been with you. So, for that I say, thank you. And also, maybe just realize that he’s very serious about you whether he’s voiced serious feelings yet or not. I hope you feel the same, because I actually really like you and want you to stay.”
“I like you too. Don’t worry Nina, my feelings for your brother are also serious. I wouldn’t still be doing all this with him if I didn’t at least consider a long-term future with him. I just don’t think I’m at that place to share that with him yet. To be honest, we’ve had so much fun, and I haven’t felt this insane need to push for that conversation either. I feel comfortable, and happy, and it’s all just…natural. I feel like our feelings for each other, whatever they’re developing into, will also just come out naturally, and when the time is right.”
“You’re such a grown up.”
“I know right? When did that happen?”
“When you met your person, I guess. Is it I okay if I hate you a little bit?”
“Sure, but I thought you were like Allison—anti relationship.”
“I mean, sort of? I’ve definitely been burned in the past, and now even this thing with Liam—I mean if you can’t trust a best friend to stay a best friend, then really…who the hell can you trust anymore? I’d rather just get laid at this point. Sign me up to attend that bone parade, Allison.”
“On it, girl.”
“You two together…hanging out…this could be bad news.”
“We’ll be fine.”
“Uh huh.”
“Stop worrying, Kara. Damn, you’re being such a peer mom.”
“Hey! I am not. I’m still cool!”
“Meh.”
They’re both smirking at me, chuckling around their sips.
“I hate you both.”
“Love you too, friend.”
“Alright, well what do you say we get out of here?”
“Kara, it’s not even midnight.”
“Your point? I’m tired.”
“You miss Jude.”
“Stop it! I do not. I’m just tired.”
“Tired of not being with Jude.”
“Allison…”
“What?”
“Fine! I miss him. I can’t help it. We have a routine. I’m used to it.”
Nina busts out laughing before she adds her snark.
“They have a routine, Allison! We can’t mess with the routine.”
“Alright you whores, that’s fine. Laugh it up. Make fun of the relationship girl. Just wait—it will happen to you one day, and when it does, I will be sure to return the favor.”
“Never gonna happen.”
“Ooohh, I guarantee it will.”
“Nopes.”
“Yups.”
“Kara, just text Jude to come pick your sorry ass up. Nina and I can stay behind and hang. Maybe try to pick a bone, or two…with someone.”
“Fine! But if you don’t pick a bone, or even if you do, and it ends up being more like a chicken bone that you choke on, and possibly die from, call me.”
“Get! We’ll be fine. We can handle ourselves. We can Uber our asses out of a chicken bone sitch if needed.”
“Okay, fine. I’m texting him.”
“Okay, we’re going to move to the bar where we can be more available.”
“We are?”
“Nina! Get with it.”
“Oh right. Bar. Bones. Got it. Can we get shots?”
“You mean, can we let some guys buy us some shots? Yes.”
“I like you.”
“Ditto Neens.”
I’m rolling my eyes hard at these two who are already more than halfway to Drunkville when I get my return text from Jude.
Jude: Who dis?
Kara: Yer mom.
Jude: Oh, hey Alice. Long time no chat.
Kara: Fuck. Badly played. Sorry!
Jude: Lol. You can make it up to me when you get home. I’m leaving the house in 2.5 seconds. Wait your ass INSIDE the bar, Kara Marie.
Kara: The full name? Shit. I am in trouble.
Jude: The best of trouble. Now shut up so I can drive.
Jude arrives ten minutes later, and as I climb in the passenger seat, I notice he’s wearing that devilish smirk on his face.
“What?”
“Baby, you’re plowed, aren’t you?”
“I am not! I have all my wits! I also have Liam and Nina deets.”
“Nancy Fucking Drew, ladies and gents.”
“It really wasn’t hard. Nina got toasted, and feelings happened.”
“Oooh, Nina and feelings. I bet that was a true delight to witness.”
“I mean, there were tears.”
Jude’s head whips around in my direction, his eyes wide.
“Are you shitting me? What did that bastard do to make her cry? She never cries.”
“Well, it’s a bit of a story, and I will gladly share. However, I really am not plowed, and in fact, only sort of tipsy. So, I would like this to be wine-time story hour.”
“Done, and done. Do you need tacos?”
“You have tacos?!”
“I picked some up earlier, just in case you needed them.”
“I love you.”
Oh. Shit. I slapped my hands over my mouth, my eyes wide. When I had told the girls that I assumed our feelings would be said naturally, I really thought I would say it over a more romantic setting. Fucking tacos! If that doesn’t tell you exactly who I am, then I don’t know what does.
Jude has parked the car, and he’s wearing a half-smirk when he turns to face me. I’m still holding my mouth to keep it from running off again. Bitch really loves to exercise, and I don’t get it because the rest of me hates running. Unless…bees.
Jude gently pulls my hands down from my face, but holds them firmly in his own.
“Presh? You okay?”
“Yup. Fine. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine? Just swell. Should we go in? I’d love those tacos now. And wine. So much wine. Please?”
“Sure, in a sec, k? Just answer me this real quick. Did you mean ‘I love you’ like in a joking way because of the tacos, or like, ‘I love you’, in a serious way because of the tacos?”
“Dammit, Jude. I’m sorry. I had hoped the first time I spilled my guts to you it would be all like the girly version of swoony, ya know? Maybe I would have baked you something. Or put on that black underwear again. Given you a blowie first. Something! But it wasn’t. It was fucking tacos. You bought me tacos anticipating my need for them after a drunken night out with my friends, and so yeah. I seriously meant it. I love you. I do. I’m not even going to act like I don’t. And I’m sorry, I don’t expect you to say it back or anything, I realize it’s only been a couple of months, but shit, Jude. This is your fault! You bought me tacos and so I love you!” It’s only after I quiet down from my insane rant that I notice that Jude is full-on grinning. He leans forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead, and then one on my lips.
“Took you fuckin’ long enough, Presh.”
“I’m sorry…what?”
“I’ve been waiting a few weeks now for you to tell me this shit. Of course, you’re a stubborn ass. I should have done this sooner. The taco thing that is. How could I have been so blind as to not realize it was all I needed?”
“Are you…what…what in the actual hell are you saying right now?”
“Oh right. I love you too.”
“What?!
How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me first, you bastard!”
“I’ve known for a hot minute, but you didn’t buy me tacos.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s okay, boopsies; now we know. For future.”
“Taco ‘bout our feelings, tacos?”
“Holy grail of women, you are amazing. I love you more for that entire sentence.”
“I love me more for that entire sentence, too.”
“There she is folks.”
“I’ll be here all week.”
“Can we go in now?”
“Oh yes! Please! I have so many stories. Oh wait, should we have like hot, in love with each other sex now? Really commit to this moment before wine, and deets, and tacos?”
“As amazing as that sounds, baby, you’re kind of way more tipsy than you realize. And don’t argue. Your cheeks have been flushed since I picked you up, and your eyes are doing that constant narrowing like you’re trying to see without letting on that it’s a little blurry.”
“Well dammit. We can have more than tipsy sex, can’t we?”
“Mmm. That’s kind of pushing it. I mean, buzzed sex…that’s hot. But remember last time? You got more than tipsy on all that wine and then had to stop halfway through because you felt like you were on a rollercoaster, but before you got off my ride you puked in your mouth a little.”
“I’m a mess.”
“Yes.”
“You still love me.”
“Someone’s cocky already.”
“You already said it, you can’t take it back. You. Love. Me.”
“Always, Presh.”
“I love you too.”
“I know. Let’s go. Wine, deets, and tacos are waiting. WDT, son!”
He’s so ridiculous. He makes me laugh like no other. He’s a big ole’ piece now, guys. A big ole’ piece that’s fitting rather snug and right all up in my heart feels. Tacos and love. I’m good with it.
Chapter 23
Jude
It’s been a week since the “I love yous” have been said. I’m hunkered down in my apartment, waiting for my PR girl, Maggie to get here with author copies of my book in print. That’s right, it’s finished. Finally! This book was a true testament of my writing; this book is everything. What started out as a completely different project, turned into something much more real—something much more me.
This book is of course, my favorite so far. While there are as always, necessary differences in order to make the book flow and have a complete happily ever after for the reader, so much of my characters are Kara and myself. I couldn’t have written this book without her. She’s more than inspiration, she is very much Sarah. I needed to find a way to write Sarah so people would forgive her past, and understand her on a very human, real, level. I needed to showcase her vulnerabilities that I wouldn’t have been able to do if I hadn’t met Kara. Sure, I took some liberties as most authors do, but I also stayed true to who Kara is; to who Sarah is.
She’s strong, smart, beautiful, but a bit unsure of herself. Sarah, like Kara, is a bit insecure about her physical attributes, but she grows so much inside her relationship. With the constant affirmation from Jase, she learns to see what he sees; to trust it. To believe it. And Jase? He’s a bit lost when he starts their journey. He’s been known to find love in all the wrong places prior to Sarah. He’s had his heart nicked and bruised by women who used him; who were selfish, vain, and callous. See also: Me. See also: Me with Satan.
I’m shaking my head at myself when there’s a knock at my door. Finally, Maggie is here, and I’m so excited to see the final product. I could have had one overnighted to me, but she wanted to discuss upcoming projects as well so we made a meeting out of it. Maggie is the best PR person I’ve ever had; she’s sweet and kind, but firm on her beliefs. She knows what sells, she knows what’s good writing, and she knows me, and what I need. She also works for herself, with a very small client list so I feel like I get special treatment, which of course, I adore.
I swing open the door and there she is, copies in hand and I grin like a kid in a candy store.
“Hi! Gimme, gimme, gimme.” She laughs and hands over a copy of the book.
“This one is for you, but this one is for me. And I want you to sign this one.”
“Ooooh, really? You never me have sign your copies. What’s up with that by the way? And why this one?”
“I work for you; I can have you sign my books any time I want. However, this book? This is the best thing you’ve ever written. There was so much humor, and vulnerability, sweetness, and pure delight. I’ve told you before how much I loved this book, and I’m not just saying that because you make me money. I’m saying it because Jude, whatever you harnessed to write Sarah and Jase, you need to hold onto it. These characters fit; like perfect puzzle pieces.”
Her choice of words has me momentarily stunned because that’s how Kara and I have referenced each other throughout our very real relationship. I’m so caught up in her praise that I’m momentarily shocked speechless.
“Well…this is a first. Humble Harry, nice to meet you.”
That gets a chuckle out of me, as I emerge from my stupor.
“Please make sure you’re here when my girlfriend shows up, and let her know I had my very first humble moment. She would never believe it without another’s confirmation.”
“I’ll do what I can. So, tell me, what do you think? Look at the damn book, Jude!”
“Gah! Right. Oh man, this cover is even better in person. I’m loving the typewriter font.”
“Right? So perfect. By the way, who is the dedication to?”
“My girl.”
“Well, well, well. Did you write your own love story, Jude?”
I feel myself get blush embarrassingly.
“Oh my gosh, you did!”
“Shut your face, Maggie! But yes. Sort of. Sarah and Jase are both based after myself and Kara, and I didn’t know it was going to go that way, but it did. She inspired me.”
“Well damn, keep that girl around.”
“Plan to.”
“That’s awesome, I’m so happy for you. You’re one of a kind, she’s a lucky girl.”
“I’m the lucky one, Mags. But hey, what happened with Mike?”
“Ugh. Don’t get me started. He’s head of the douchebag parade now.”
“Oooh, shit. Wait, he beat out Steve?”
“Yep.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. I do not. It’s over. He’s a scumbag. I’d much rather talk about hitting publish on this amazingness to the e-reader world in three days, and then also your future projects.”
“Right, so yes, definitely hitting publish in three days. I cannot wait. How far out do we plan on doing the print?”
“Mmm, I think we should give it a month. I’d like to gauge the sales of the e-book first.”
“Sounds good. As far as other projects…can I be honest?”
“Please.”
“I really don’t know yet. I thought I knew, but Sarah took a turn, and the series is over, and I don’t know. I need some re-group time. I don’t want to just put out a book because I can, I want it to be as special as this one, and I’m not sure I have it all in me to devote like that again.”
“I hear you, but I don’t hear you. Are you taking a vacation?”
“Yeah, I’m thinking I might. I need some weeks off. We can promote the hell out of this one, and the other two that came before it. But I need a time out to really gather myself, and find some new inspiration. The ideas I had are feeling kind of stale. You know I can’t be writing croutons, girl.”
“I get it. You have never taken time off since you started, so I suppose this was bound to happen. What are you thinking, a month? Six weeks?”
“Something like that. Obviously if I start before that I’ll let you know, but I definitely need some Jude time. And Jude and Kara time.”
“Understood. I’m really happy for you, Jud
e. On all fronts. After Satan you really deserve your own happy ending.”
“Heh. You said ‘happy ending.’ Thanks, Maggie. And hey, so do you.”
“You’re absurd. And maybe someday, but for now I think I’m taking a break from men. I need some Maggie time.”
“I get it, I get it. Keep me posted on what you need me to do as far as promoting, Facebook, Insta, all that crap.”
“Oh, you know I will. Alright, well, seems this was a rather quick meeting so I’m gonna head out. So great to see you, congrats again, oh wait…sign my book before I go.”
“Oh right! Let me have it.” I take the book and sign a little note of thanks and heartfelt appreciation for all she does, hand it back to her and lean down for our typical, well done, congratulations we did it, hug. Right as she’s leaning up to place a very chaste, platonic kiss on my cheek, my front door swings open.
And there’s Kara, looking fine as hell, but…squinty? She’s squinting at the scene in front of her and that’s when I realize what she’s seeing, and how it looks. Maggie and I have pulled away at this point, and Maggie even goes to introduce herself when Kara shoots a glare over at me and storms the fuck out of my apartment. Right. Makes sense. Fucking hell.
Maggie looks over at me with an oh shit face, which by the way is comprised of wide eyes and a giant smirk.
“Kara, I presume?”
“Yep.”
“Need me to explain anything before I go?”
“Nope.”
“Got it. I’ll be in touch.”
“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
Maggie exits the apartment, and that’s when I begin to pace. I’m shoving my fingers through my hair in my hair repeatedly; pulling at it in frustration.
To be honest, I never thought I could ever be this mad at Kara, but here I am. I’m not just frustrated, I’m pissed. What the hell is this? What have we been working toward? How many times have I reassured her about my feelings? Even long before my love was stated, it was shown. I’ve shared every bit of myself. I’ve encouraged her in every aspect of her life; from her bartending, to owning her own bar, to owning her awesomness, to appreciating her sexy ass in and out of clothes. All. Of. It.