The Child's Past Life

by Cai Jun

  After school, I hurried out of the classroom. People ogled me in the corridor, as if “killer” had been scrawled across my face.

  Outside the multipurpose building, a few male students huddled in conversation. They scattered as soon as they saw me. Only Ma Li stayed behind. He was the best student in class, and also my favorite.

  “Were you talking about Liu Man?”

  “Mr. Shen, didn’t you hear?”

  Ma was lean. He looked like Nicky Wu but had hair like Aaron Kwok. He always seemed melancholy.

  “Know what?”

  “Liu Man was poisoned!”

  “I’d guessed as much. I didn’t see any wounds on her this morning.”

  “The whole school knows. When the cops looked over the crime scene and found some liquid on the floor, they figured that after she was poisoned, she climbed onto the library roof through the attic window. She couldn’t get out through the attic door because it was locked from the outside. Our chemistry teacher went in to do some testing after the cops left. You know how he talks.”

  “What did he find?”

  “There was a lot of oleander glucoside in the liquid.”

  “Oleander glucoside?”

  I suddenly understood, but I tried to look confused for Ma.

  “The chemistry teacher said you can extract it from the oleander. Half a milligram of pure oleander glucoside is enough to kill someone. He told us to stay away from oleander.”

  There were a lot of oleander bushes next to the sports field. They bloomed bright red every year at exam time. Red oleander was the most poisonous.

  “Don’t spread rumors like this. Nobody will really know how Liu Man died until the police autopsy report is out.” I patted Ma Li’s shoulder and whispered into his ear, “Rumor kills! You know what I mean.”

  “Mr. Shen, I don’t think Liu Man would go to the haunted library attic without a reason. Someone must have asked her to. Who do you think it was?”

  His eyes were so clear that they made my heart clench. I backed away two steps. “You don’t trust me, either?”

  “I’m sorry, but everyone is saying—”

  “Shut up!”

  I ran away from Ma Li. The robust oleander bushes displayed countless red flowers among the greenery; they made me nauseous.

  I now understood why Huang Hai had taken note of my remembering “everything.”

  CHAPTER 4

  June 5, 1995. Late night.

  My room was number 19, the very last room on the fourth floor of the men’s dorm. Next door was a cluttered storage room. My fiancée, Gu Qiusha, had only been there twice. She said my place was worse than a doghouse. She insisted that we were to live in a spacious and comfortable home.

  We were going to be married in a month.

  The wedding was set for after exams, which is when I was leaving Nanming High before starting a new job at the Education Bureau. We were supposed to pick up our marriage licenses on June 19, two weeks after the exams.

  I called her that day. I was afraid to tell her what happened—just that I might be in trouble but it wouldn’t last long.

  My Swiss-made designer watch showed ten o’clock. It had been a gift from Gu Qiusha’s dad, my future father-in-law; he’d bought it in Hong Kong. That watch had caused quite a stir in the teachers’ office. I was afraid to use it for fear of wearing off its shine, but Qiusha insisted that I wear it every day.

  I sat at my desk. I stared at the watch’s face, which reflected my weary face. Ever since returning to teach at my alma mater three years ago, I’d lived alone. The paint on the walls was peeling, the ceiling was moldy and cracked, and I had little else besides a rickety single bed and a fuzzy color TV from the flea market. I liked this room, though—I’d spent my high school years in it, too.

  Back then, it had three bunk beds, and six of us slept in here. In 1988, on the night before the college entrance exams, one roommate hung himself. We woke up in the morning and saw him hanging from the ceiling fan. Unfortunately, I slept on a top bunk. The boy’s stiff body swayed before me. Its exposed belly button was at my eye level, and it looked like a single eye staring at me.

  The school’s investigation went nowhere. The conclusion was that he was afraid of not doing well and decided to take his life. All of us in the room had a hard time accepting those findings. We had nightmares for weeks. After we graduated, no one else wanted to live in our room. Nearby rooms were haunted, too, so the school just gave up on the whole block of quarters.

  Four years later, I returned as a newly minted teacher, as well as the only Peking University graduate. I had no housing, however, and the school had no place for me to stay, so the haunted room became my staff dorm room.

  I would be moving next month and saying good-bye to this room, where I’d spent six years of my life.

  My new place would be official housing from the Education Bureau; it was an exception. I had only taught for three years, yet many teachers who taught their whole careers were still cramped inside a leaky old house with their kids and grandkids. Two months earlier, I had gotten my keys. The place was a two-bedroom apartment—the best the Education Bureau could offer. Top education administrators lived upstairs. My fiancée’s family was renovating the place for us and had moved in imported furniture and appliances just the day before. They’d already spent more money than I made in a whole year.

  I knew that a lot of people felt envious, and some of them even hated me.

  I didn’t feel like sleeping, but I turned off the light early and lay in bed. When I heard a knock, I opened the door, feeling scared. Huang Hai, the same policeman who’d interrogated me earlier, was standing there. His gaze swept past me and looked things over.

  “Good evening, Mr. Shen. May I inspect your room?”

  He presented a search warrant. The teaching director, Yan Li, stood behind him. He was a sincere middle-aged man, but tonight his eyes were full of pity.

  “Are you . . . am I a suspect?”

  “Mr. Shen,” Yan Li said, “you’re known for your verbal skills, but tonight you seem rather—”

  I blocked them from coming in. “Mr. Yan, are you—”

  “Sorry, are you not letting me in?” Huang Hai’s voice was almost toneless.

  “It’s fine—please come in and check! I didn’t do anything wrong. Why would I be afraid of a search?” I showed the cop my room and pointed to a necklace hanging off the writing desk. “Be careful not to break it,” I said.

  Huang Hai didn’t tell me to leave, but I left anyway. I was embarrassed. Where could I go with a cop trailing me everywhere?

  I walked into the cool moonlight. The male students were coming out of the dorm. They’d probably decided that I was the killer and the police were arresting me. The time I spent waiting for the search to finish felt endless. I turned to look at the girls’ dorm and saw their young faces in the windows. But she wasn’t there.

  Huang Hai came downstairs carrying a clear bag with a plastic bottle in it. The night’s darkness hid his face. He didn’t talk to me again. Two policemen escorted me to the front of the school and out to their waiting car, parked with its flashing lights on.

  “Sir, please lock my room—I have important things inside.” This was the only thing I said when they arrested me.

  As I was being shoved into the police car, I saw a man standing on Nanming Road. His face was so pale under the streetlight that it was scary.

  His name was Zhang Mingsong.

  CHAPTER 5

  My first night at the police station was sleepless. I begged to call my fiancée but was refused. Huang Hai promised me they’d let her know. They knew Qiusha’s father. But by dawn there was no further word. The detention room had no mirror, so I couldn’t inspect my face. I probably had dark circles under my eyes. My breakfast tray sat on the floor. I couldn’t eat with my stomach in kno
ts.

  June 6, 1995. The first interrogation.

  Before Huang Hai could say anything, I asked, “What did you find in my room?”

  “We found that plastic bottle on your dresser,” he said. “It was empty, but it had traces of oleander extract. The lab tells us it had been procured in the last few days.”

  “You’re saying I made poison out of oleander and killed Liu Man the night before last?”

  “Right now, you’re our primary suspect. But that doesn’t mean you’re the killer.”

  There was no point in explaining. Everyone saw me as the killer. They’d decided I had some sort of immoral relationship with Liu Man. Since I was getting married soon people assumed that she was an obstacle to me. She could have harassed me after graduation. I lived on campus and had the perfect opportunity. The school had oleander everywhere. No one else dared to go up to the library attic after dark. Only I could have lured Liu Man up there.

  “I didn’t kill anyone!”

  “I checked your college records. You took a toxicology class. Isn’t that rather strange for a Chinese major?”

  “Did you also check how my mother died?”

  Huang Hai answered quickly: “Your father killed her when you were seven.”

  “She was—she was poisoned.” I became calm again, like I was recounting something I’d heard on the news. “My dad added the poison to her medication daily. I didn’t cry at all when my mother died. I ran out of my house and I bit a cop on the thigh. Then they sent my mom for an autopsy and found out how she died.”

  “Your father was executed. I read the file last night. So that’s why you took the toxicology class—because your mom was poisoned?”

  “Why else would I take it? Or do you think I’m psychic? That years ago, before I ever met Liu Man, I knew I wanted to kill her—so I took a class to learn how?”

  “Shen Ming, what about the rumors about you two?”

  “That’s nonsense. She only liked to ask me questions. Sometimes she said strange things. As a teacher, I know to keep a distance from students, especially pretty girls like her. I was extra careful.”

  “You must have been popular with the girls when you were in high school?”

  I lowered my head and stayed silent for a moment. I’d never felt like a heartthrob. At most, I looked clean-cut, like someone from an awards ceremony. Occasionally someone would say I looked powerful, that my face showed a hero’s fate. Would girls today even like that kind of look?

  “I don’t know. I’m easygoing. I don’t talk much. I like to write classical poems. You know how moody eighteen-year-old girls are. Maybe they admire me for that. But that will change in a few years.”

  What was I rambling on about? Had I just admitted that Liu Man had a crush on me?

  The stenographer quickly wrote down what I’d said. Huang Hai nodded.

  “Let’s change the topic, Shen Ming. Tell me about your past.”

  “My past?”

  “Start with high school. We talked too briefly yesterday. I heard you had guaranteed admission to Peking University?”

  “My dream college was Peking University, but I wasn’t sure I would get in. A month before the exams, about seven years ago today, something big happened across from Nanming High. There was nothing but the woods and a factory on Nanming Road—as well as some illegal housing units, shacks built by migrants. A big fire broke out. A bunch of kids climbed up the wall to watch. I was the only one who ran across the road to save people. I was lucky to survive. Because I’d been a Party member since my senior year, the city gave me an award. Local TV stations and newspapers interviewed me, and I almost got on the national news broadcast.”

  “So that’s how you got the coveted guaranteed admission?”

  “Mr. Huang, do you believe in fate?”

  “No.”

  “Neither did I. I studied really hard in school, I did nothing else and had excellent grades. But at graduation time, people who did worse than me, some of whom had terrible grades, were assigned to government jobs, while I was sent back to my hometown to be a high school Chinese teacher.”

  “You’ve got the best opportunity now, though.” Huang Hai lit a cigarette and blew smoke over my head. “I heard you’re getting married soon. Can you talk about your fiancée?”

  “Two years ago, when I took the bus back to school, I noticed a thief pickpocketing her. No one on the bus cared. The ticket seller actually opened the bus door. Just as the thief was about to get away, I ran up, knocked him to the ground, and dragged him to the police station. That’s how I met Gu Qiusha. She was so grateful. She asked me to dinner a few times. She worked at the Education Publishing House and was in charge of high school textbooks. We had a lot to talk about, and she became my girlfriend soon after.”

  “Have you ever had a relationship before?”

  “No, she is my first girlfriend.” I scooted back to avoid Huang Hai’s smoke rings. “I didn’t know that her father was an administrator at the Education Bureau until we’d been together for six months. As you know, he’s a university president now. Qiusha lost her mom when she was young, and her dad spoiled her. Guys like me who have nothing aren’t popular with most people, but her dad likes me. He also graduated from Peking University. When his secretary quit to have a baby, I was transferred from Nanming High to the university and worked as the president’s secretary for three months. I worked really hard and stayed by his side day and night. I made sure he had everything he needed. All of his bosses and professors loved me, too.”

  I stopped talking all of a sudden. Why did my future father-in-law like me so much? It seemed odd that someone with nothing was getting a chance to have it all. But President Gu only has one daughter. He needed someone to continue his legacy so his retirement wasn’t too cruel. Perhaps it was better to cultivate a hardworking kid’s loyalty than to marry off his daughter to someone with connections.

  Huang Hai broke the silence. “I heard your engagement ceremony was in March.”

  I couldn’t have dreamed of a more elaborate ceremony. Everyone came—university officials, Education Bureau administrators, the Writers’ Association president, even celebrities like TV hosts. They all flattered me. My future father-in-law meant well. He wanted to give me access to his social circle. Everything would be easier with his connections, including getting me out of a police station.

  I didn’t share these useless thoughts with the police. Instead, I focused on the key: “A month ago, the school heard from upper management that I was leaving for the Youth League Committee after exams. I am also Nanming High’s Youth League Committee secretary. Qiusha told me that her father has ensured that in two years I’ll be the internal candidate for the city’s Youth League Committee secretary. Everyone heard about it.”

  Huang Hai stubbed out his cigarette and tapped the table with his knuckle. “So a lot of people must have been jealous,” he said. “This is what you wanted to tell me?”

  “Mr. Huang, have you read The Count of Monte Cristo?”

  “I have no time for novels. I know what you’re saying, though. So tell me, who is out to get you? I’m talking about revenge, not just jealousy. Even I feel a little jealous after hearing your story. I worked my butt off for years. I’ve apprehended so many killers and have the wounds to prove it. But I still don’t have a single apartment for my efforts. You’re about to have it all. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”

  “I understand. This is persecution via murder, not just jealousy. Can I have something to write with?”

  Huang Hai stared at me before pushing over some paper and a pen.

  I wrote down a name: Yan Li.

  CHAPTER 6

  Yan Li was the teaching director for Nanming High.

  Why would he want to frame me? I wasn’t 100 percent certain. But I knew he was a bad guy. Others may have gossiped about me, but Yan Li was one of
those people who appeared docile—until he stabbed you in the back.

  All high school teaching directors are very conservative and stubborn. Yan Li seemed that way at first, too, just like his name, which means “stern,” would imply. He was in his early forties and divorced. His wife had custody of their kid.

  One night I was up very late, correcting homework in my office. I opened the window to look at the stars and noticed someone leaning on top of the multipurpose building. Worried that it was a student, I ran to the roof to check. I was surprised to find that it was actually the teaching director training a telephoto lens on the girls’ dorm. I was too embarrassed to say anything—he was my boss after all. I snuck away when he wasn’t looking. After that I started keeping an eye on him. The school showers have very tall windows, but with the thick forest outside, no one could easily look in. The teaching director had all the keys, however, so he could peek from the roof. One night as I watched Yan Li I saw Liu Man and two other girls going into the showers. That was the final straw. I went up to the roof and gave Yan Li a beating. He didn’t even fight back. He knelt in front of me and begged for more. He swore he’d never do it again. He asked me to not say anything and promised to do whatever I asked. He agreed to replace the girls’ shower windows with frosted glass. The next day, the windows were changed, so I kept my mouth shut. What a Wolf of Zhongshan.

  Now that I was about to leave for the Education Bureau, I wanted to secretly investigate Yan Li and drive him out of the school. He must have known his days would be numbered once I left Nanming High.

  One night, just three days before Liu Man was killed, she told me that she saw Yan Li wandering through the girls’ dorm hallway. Dorm rules prohibited all males, even teachers, from going into the girls’ dorm at night. She called out to him and demanded to know why he was there. He was really nervous and threatened her, telling her he was there on official business and if she told anyone she would be in trouble. Most girls would be too scared, but not Liu Man. Yan Li must have known this.