by Blair Young
At first, I was a little worried. I hated to think that he would see there was a big world out there – much bigger than the world we lived in back in Secret Bay. But, it didn’t take long before I realized how stupid it was for me to think that he would even glance in the direction of another girl. He had eyes only for me, and he wasn’t going to even encourage another girl to try to flirt with him.
We hung out all night, meeting new people and talking about what we were going to do after high school. There were people who had been at Harvard for a couple of years, and students who were just like me and Damon – kids who were on the brink of leaving their hometowns behind just for a chance at the great big world beyond.
The idea alone was thrilling, and for the first time in a long time, I told myself it was okay to leave behind the life that I had in Secret Bay. Sure, there were things I was going to miss, and I was still determined to find answers about what happened to my parents, but for the most part, I knew I wasn’t going to miss it.
That wasn’t home to me. That was where I was living for now. I had to. I wasn’t yet legally able to live on my own, and until that happened, I had to live with Susan and Dean. But, as soon as it happened, I was going to be up here in Massachusetts as soon as possible.
I made a promise to myself, I was going to work hard until I knew for sure I had a spot in the class at Harvard. I didn’t care how much I had to work to save money, how many student loans I had to get, or what I had to do to make it happen. I was going to make sure I got the money and the GPA that I needed to have, and I would be coming to this school next fall.
The more I had fun and partied, the more the night became a blur, and I was glad I had Damon there to take care of me. I wasn’t sure at what point he cut me off from the punch bowl, but soon enough he was pulling me toward the door. I could hear his voice through the din of the rest of the party, telling me it was time to go back to the hotel.
“But I want to stay here and have fun. Aren’t you having fun?” I asked. “I want to stay.”
“It’s getting late,” he said with a laugh. “And you need to get up early in the morning. We’re going to come back for the tour, and we’re both going to need a shower before we do that. I’m sure we smell like an old distillery.”
Though I still wanted to stay, I let Damon lead me out of the party and back to the lawn. He knew where we were going, and that was a relief to me. I had no idea where we were, and I couldn’t have gotten back to the hotel on my own even if I tried.
But, Damon walked us both right to the door, then walked us both up to our room. He put the card key through the slot, and before I knew it, we were both in the room. Then, he helped me work my way out of my party outfit and into bed. I didn’t care that they were hotel sheets, I still fell into them naked and tired.
The room spun around slightly, but it wasn’t too bad. It had been so long since the last time I’d gotten drunk, I was glad Damon was there to tell me that I’d had enough before I went overboard.
He slid into bed with me, wrapping his arm around me. “So, did you like your first college party?”
“If this is college, I think we’re going to have a blast,” I said with a grin. “What did you think?”
“I think you’re going to have a blast,” Damon said with a laugh. “I told you before, I’m not sure this college thing is the route for me.”
Although he’d said so before, the way my heart sank to hear him say it again let me know that I was hoping for more from him and this trip. Of course, I was more than happy to support him in anything he wanted to do, but I realized there was a part of me that wanted him to want to come to college with me. I hoped that the trip might show him that college was going to be a lot more fun than he thought, and he would want to try hard to succeed academically, too.
The tone changed in the room, and I felt my mood dampen. I was sure part of it was from the alcohol, but Damon rubbed his hand up and down my shoulder, caressing me as I closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired, but I did want to sober up. I never really cared for the feeling of being drunk alone, and I didn’t get the impression Damon was as far gone as me.
“What’re you thinking about?” I asked him.
“What do you mean?” he replied.
“I mean, what do you think is going to happen when we get out of school?” I asked. “I want to come to college, but what’re you going to do with yourself if you don’t want to go to college?”
“I’ll come up here and get a job,” he said. “If you want to go to Harvard, and you’re living up here, then I’m going to come up here and be with you. I don’t have to be going to school to think Massachusetts is a pretty cool place to live.”
“Are you sure you’ll be happy?” I asked. “Cambridge is a lot different than Secret Bay.”
“I’m sure,” Damon said with a squeeze around my body. “I told you a long time ago. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy. I don’t care where we are, what we are doing, or where we end up. I want to spend my life with you, and if that means we’re going to live up here while you go to college and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life, then I’m more than happy to come up here and help you figure it out, too. I love you, Sutton, and no matter what, that’s not going to change.”
I smiled, easing down into him further. The room was still spinning slightly, and I had a feeling I was going to fall asleep faster than I normally would. But, the mood had once again taken on a lighter feel, and I hoped that tone would stick around.
It was so easy for the happiness I felt to be replaced with sadness or worry, and I didn’t want to keep worrying about what we were going to do next, or where life was going to take us. I had spent so much of the year just worried about what the next day would bring, it was hard to enjoy any of it.
But now, now I had a next step in mind, and Damon was going to be right there with me. He promised he was going to be with me through everything, and I knew I could trust him to keep his promise.
Damon wasn’t like the other people in the world. He was there for me no matter what. He wasn’t going to leave me, and he wasn’t going to let anyone take him from me, either. I could trust he was going to always be there, having my back, making sure I was safe and sound. Taking me to campus when I wanted to, making sure I didn’t get too drunk before the tour in the morning.
This was the love of my life. I might not even be eighteen yet, but I knew without a doubt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and I was going to make it happen. I didn’t care how much work I had to put into the relationship, this was the man I would hopefully marry. This man was the family I never had. This was my soulmate.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about our future, and everything I wanted to share with Damon. There was so much more than just college or where we lived. I wanted to be with him through all the ups and downs in life. I had always loved him, there was no doubt in my mind about that, and I always would. I was even more confident about that.
We had already been through so much, I could only imagine we could withstand anything life threw our way – no matter how hard things got.
Shoot, I had managed to keep it together alone for so long, I knew I was strong. But Damon, he was strong enough for both of us, and he made it clear he wanted to take care of me. He would take care of me. He wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way. I just had to let down my walls and let him step in to handle it.
And I was more than ready to do that.
Chapter 16
Damon
Although the entire reason I went to Massachusetts was to make Sutton happy, I had to admit, the trip really was what we both needed. The tour of the campus was nice, and I was glad to see she had made a good choice for college, but more than that, I felt that she and I had connected more than ever.
I liked the town of Cambridge well enough, and Massachusetts as a whole seemed like a decent place to live. It wasn’t as hot as North Carolina, but I was okay with that, too. I d
idn’t mind the lower temperatures, and I really did mean it when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Sutton.
She, too, seemed refreshed by the trip. Not only did it allow us the time to be together away from Dean and Susan, but it also gave us time to bond as a couple – more than just the two kids who were together in high school. We were thinking about the longevity of our relationship now, and I had confidence that it was really going to last.
Sutton, too, seemed to feel far more confident in my loyalty, and the fact I really did just want to see her be happy, no matter what that meant. I would follow her to the ends of the earth, just so I could see that smile.
And she knew it, too.
We told Susan and Dean as vaguely as we could how nice the college was when we got back to Secret Bay, but I felt they were satisfied with what we had to report. Sutton was beaming as she related all that there was to see on campus, and how happy she knew she was going to be there.
Susan seemed thrilled for Sutton, but Dean seemed to still be stewing over the fact Harvard was expensive, and it was going to be a blow to their budget to be able to send Sutton to that particular school. I was sure it was going to be a bigger fight before it was resolved, but Susan seemed determined to make this happen.
Perhaps it was because Sutton was her real daughter. Maybe it was her one way of getting control from Dean. Either way, the funds were hers to really control, and if she wanted to send Sutton to Harvard, Dean could argue, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.
I, for my own part, decided that the best thing to do would be to make my own requests from Susan minimal. I was making more than enough money at the board shop to fund my whims, and I still had a few more fights to get through. Those would be a small source of income, and I would use that money for myself, too.
I’d have to give more to my debtors, but they still didn’t now quite how much I made in a fight, and I wasn’t about to have the crap kicked out of me and hand over all the cash afterward, I didn’t care how much damage I did to the other guy. I was going to get some level of pay for those fights, and that was the end of it in my mind.
As long as they didn’t know I was holding back some funds, it was all good. They didn’t have complete control over me. I might do what they said because I did owe them, but that wasn’t going to last forever. Shoot, it should already be over, but I still put up with them at least for now.
For the sake of Sutton and all we were going through, I didn’t want to bring in more drama on the side if it didn’t need to happen.
And, as far as I was concerned, it didn’t.
For the next few days after we got back from the trip, I thought life was going to improve. There seemed to be less stress in the house, and Susan and Dean weren’t fighting nearly as much. Sutton didn’t say two words about Dean to me, so I hoped she was finally coming to terms with the fact that he lived with us.
I wasn’t in love with the way Dean acted these days, but then, I knew I couldn’t do anything about it, so I just let it go. Susan was an adult, and she was free to date who she wanted. There was a time when I was thrilled for that to be Dean, but now, I was just looking forward to my own graduation and when Sutton and I could move up to Massachusetts.
Part of me wanted to start saving money now. The sooner we could get out of the house, the better as far as I was concerned.
And then, I was given more reason to feel that way.
The talk came out of the blue, as Susan and Dean so often did to me. But, I had to admit, I really didn’t see any sign that this one was coming. I normally could sense when they wanted to bring up something that probably wasn’t going to go well, but this was entirely out of the blue, and I was caught off guard.
Sutton had stayed after school to study in class, hoping to get more of her homework done there than in her room. I, on the other hand, was more than eager to get out of school and get to the safety of my room, when Susan and Dean stopped me in the kitchen.
“Damon! It’s good to finally catch you alone,” Dean said. “Sit down, we need to talk to you.”
“About what?” I asked. “We checked in when you said to and made it back on Sunday.”
“It’s not about the trip,” Susan said. “It’s about Chad.”
My heart dropped. I thought the whole Chad thing was done and over with, and it didn’t make any sense to me why they still kept bringing it up.
“Oh?” I asked.
“Chad committed a crime,” Dean said. “And it needs to be reported. We aren’t comfortable with this in the house without the authorities being alerted to what happened.”
“I told you, Sutton doesn’t want this to blow up into a thing,” I said.
“Well, Sutton also is the victim of a crime that many victims never report,” Susan replied. “You were the one who was there, so you need to really go to the police over this. You’re always saying that you are nearly an adult, and now it’s time for you to do something that an adult would do.”
“Why can’t one of you?” I challenged.
“Because you can provide more details. I’ll go with you if you want, hold your hand even,” Dean said with a smirk. “But you’re going, and you’re going to make that report.”
“Sutton’s not going to like that, not one bit,” I argued.
“She’s going to be glad when it’s done,” Susan said.
“We talked about this, Damon,” Dean remarked. “I told you I don’t want to have to force my hand here, but you know that I have to protect the family, and if you’re going to enable something like that to happen then I’m going to have to take drastic measures.”
“Mom?” I turned to Susan with raised eyebrows, expecting her to shut Dean down. There was no way she could let him kick me out of the house. But, she looked defeated. I could see in her eyes she wanted to argue, but she wasn’t going to challenge Dean.
Looking from one adult to the other, I knew I was stuck. If I didn’t do what Dean said, then he was going to fire me or throw me out, and Sutton and I were so close. I didn’t want to lose what we had going on, and I really didn’t want to do anything that would slow us down moving away.
Finally, I gave in. If this was the only way I could keep my job and a roof over my head, then I would allow it, but I was far from happy about it, that was for darn sure. And Sutton, well, I didn’t even want to think about what she would say when she heard what I was about to do.
“Fine,” I said. “But this isn’t going to go over well. I promise you that.”
Dean smiled. “That’s my boy.”
“Then I ran into the room, threw a punch in Chad’s face, and he left,” I said. “Our foster mother called out, asking if everything was okay, and Sutton begged me to keep it to myself, so I did.”
The officer was taking notes throughout the entire narrative, and she now looked up. “Your foster mother didn’t know about the incident?”
I shook my head. “We kept it entirely from her until a couple weeks ago, she asked me why I didn’t hang out with Chad anymore. We were friends at one point, but I refuse to associate with him anymore, and she got the story out of me.”
“And you didn’t report it then?” the officer asked.
“Sutton is adamant that we don’t,” I said. “I wanted to respect her wishes. But my foster mother and her boyfriend insist that this is a crime, and we have to report it, so here I am.”
“Neither of them came with you?” the officer commented.
“I didn’t want them to. My foster mother’s boyfriend, Dean, said that he would come if I wanted, but I was the one who really knew what happened, and I was going to be doing most of the talking anyway. I knew I could do this on my own,” I said.
The officer wrote down more notes and continued to ask questions. I did my best to answer them, but still give Sutton as much privacy in the situation as I could. Still, by the time we were done and the officer filed the report, I felt like trash. I knew it was wrong to go against her wishes, bu
t I felt that I had my hands tied.
Not to mention, if she was a victim of a true crime, then I wanted her to get justice. Not that the cops were going to do anything to Chad. But still. I wanted her to be justified in life in some way. She had already dealt with so much, it had to be hard for her to deal with more.
On the other hand, I knew she hated being the center of attention, especially when this sort of thing happened. She already wore the badge of being suicidal at one time, picked on at one time. She was the naked girl in the photos that were posted all over the school at one time. She was made fun of, her locker defaced.
There was so much she had dealt with, she didn’t want to be the girl who was almost raped on top of it. But now, the word was officially recorded, and I could only hope to God she didn’t find out about it. Or, if she did, that it didn’t happen until we were long done with high school.
Then, there was another side of me that felt I ought to say something to her. I should tell her the truth about what I had done. I didn’t want her to be blindsided by any of this, and I had a feeling, like so many other things in life, that was how the truth would come out.
She would be going about her day, then it would just fall out and she would know that I broke my promise. She would know that I went behind her back and told the cops what she didn’t want them to know. And, for all I knew, she could end up being pitied or laughed at all over again.
I swallowed hard, kicking a rock out of the way and doing what I could to push it all out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to imagine the look of disappointment on her face when she found out that I filed a report and shared the story she made me promise not to share with anyone.
It wasn’t like I had much of a choice, but at the same time, I worried she would think that I wasn’t going to keep any of my promises her to her. Sutton had dealt with being lied to and left so much in her life – by people she thought would never do either to her.