My Next Breath

by Shannon McKenna

  That moment of truth had come upon her sooner than she’d anticipated.

  He took her hand. “Come with me.”

  Contact with his hand had the same uncanny effect as before. She felt light and soft, strangely unburdened as she wove effortlessly through the press of people who had filled up the dim, noisy bar. He pulled her into the relative quiet of a dingy corridor. Past the pay phone and the bathrooms. Through a door to a narrow stairwell lit by a flickering bulb.

  They were alone, and she wasn’t afraid. It was crazy. She went anyway.

  Still holding his hand, she ran up flight after flight of stairs behind him as if she had rocket-propelled boots. By the fourth landing, she was laughing.

  Zade aimed a hard kick at the battered lock on the door at the top of the stairs. It flew open and he drew her outside … into a whole new world.

  The rain had slackened. Cold wind had picked up, tearing thick billowing clouds into ragged orange tinted tufts that shifted and sped, lit by the city’s lurid nighttime glow.

  Lights glittered in the darkness. The sky was a ragged dome over satellite dishes turned up to it, a bristling forest of antennas, water towers, and skylights, twisting snarls of pipes and tubes. An eerily beautiful, dreamlike fantasy nightscape.

  He led her swiftly across the roofs of several attached buildings, circling the raised skylights, ducking under flapping lines of rain-soaked laundry.

  The last building on the block had a roof bordered by a low wall. He helped her over it and led her down into the recessed area near the door to the stairwell, sheltered from the wind.“Doing okay?” he asked her.

  “I’m great,” she told him. “More than great.”

  His teeth flashed. His hand tightened on hers, and he tugged it. A wordless invitation that she could not refuse. She melted into his arms, lifting her face to his.

  And the nature of reality shifted forever.

  Hunger exploded open to her shocked awareness like a seed bursting from its shell, both inevitable and miraculous. Yearnings, cravings. Unseen forces, unknown powers. Pushing her, pulling her. Upwelling, cascading. Emotional chaos.

  His lips entreated and demanded, seeking the moist heat of her mouth with his tongue. She’d thought kissing was a skill that could be learned, but this kiss felt like an entity that possessed them, with its own feverish demands, its own agenda.

  She abandoned herself to it. Carried away, dazzled by the hot, tender inner sweetness of his mouth, the implacable strength of his arms, the massive solidity of his chest, the shocking intimacy of being tasted, known. She felt so soft and yielding, and at the same time, charged with immense power. And terribly hungry.

  For him. She twined around his big body with wild abandon. The muscles in his arms were like bundles of steel cable. His masculine heat made her frantic. She couldn’t get close enough to him fast enough. More. Now.

  The kiss went wild all by itself. She clutched his neck, his shoulders, fingers scrabbling for a better grip. Her back was pressed to the rough brick wall, one leg lifted up to wrap eagerly around him. Her hips tilted to press the hot bulge in the front of his jeans, rocking closer to that rush of sweet pressure that promised more and more pleasure with each tantalizing, grinding push.

  Her longing sharpened with each teasing pulse, until she was on the verge of screaming. No control over what her body did, the sounds she made. Clutching, kissing, pulling. Arching and gasping and heaving. She clutched at his taut, excellent ass, pulling him against the spot where she needed him most … oh, yes … again, and again … rocking and shoving … edging closer to that shining promise of …

  Oh God. Yes.

  It wrenched through her. Each throbbing pulse a flash of light that revealed the vast and starry infinity inside herself.

  Later, the coolness of the wind and rain against her forehead made her open her eyes. The world felt brand new. Freshly washed. Glittering and mysterious.

  Like him. He was so incredibly gorgeous, her eyes welled full.

  He noticed. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, yes,” she whispered. “Oh, Zade.”

  His grin carved beautiful dimpled lines into his lean cheeks, and he leaned closer to kiss away a tear that had flashed down over her cheekbone.

  “That was so good,” he murmured, kissing her ear. “Exciting. Watching you come was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  She vibrated with silent laughter. She had no words. Too overwhelmed.

  He slid his hands up under her loose sweatshirt, his big fingers settling into the curve of her waist, splaying over her ribs. He nudged the fabric up.

  “Show me?” His voice was low and rough. Seductively pleading.

  She didn’t hesitate. Just dragged the sweatshirt right up, revealing her cream lace bra. She undid the front clasp, hesitating for a split second before spreading open the lacy cups and baring herself to him.

  The cold air hit her flushed skin, making her nipples tighten. She shivered with pleasure at the kiss of the rain, the grip of his big warm hands, the weight of his hot eyes roving over her body.

  He let out a rasping groan and slid his hands up to cup her breasts, circling her soft globes with his fingertips. He bent to press his face to her, dragging slow, hot kisses over her shivering skin. Flicking with his tongue, suckling, hot and deep.

  His mouth left a throbbing glow of pleasure in its wake. He took his own sweet time caressing and nuzzling and kissing her breasts until she was helpless with pleasure. Her body shook with intense awareness. She looped her arms around his shoulders, winding his thick, damp hair into her fingers and gasping at the deep, suckling pull of his mouth around her nipple, the liquid, yearning ache between her legs.

  Her body vibrated with sensation. He looked up, frowning. “You’re cold?”

  “Not cold. I feel hot. The rain feels good.”

  “I’m so turned on right now, I’m about to pass out.” He reached down between them, adjusting his jeans. “Excuse me. He needed a little space.”

  “Do you want me to go down on you?” The words were out before she realized how they would make her feel. Wanton, crazy, naughty. Things she’d never been before, things she didn’t identify with. Had no experience with.

  She’d just met this guy. She knew nothing about him at all except that he drove her crazy with lust. And she was no expert fellatio artist, for damn sure.

  Even so, she was already gripping his thick and extremely hard cock. She squeezed it possessively through his jeans. Stroked its steely length.

  Oh yes. She wanted him in her mouth. Wanted it now.

  Zade caught his breath. “Holy fuck. Right here?”

  “I want to. Come on. Let’s do this.” She reached for his belt.

  His hand covered hers, blocking it. “Wait. It doesn’t feel right.”

  She stiffened. Humiliation flash-froze her buzz. She tried to pull away.

  “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to—”

  Her voice cut off as he covered her mouth with his own, a hard, urgent kiss. His body still vibrated with controlled hunger. “Hey, I want it. Of course I want it. But I should be on my knees to you. Worshipping at the sacred well. Paying homage with my tongue. You should have ten screaming orgasms before we even give a passing thought to my hard-on. Believe me, it won’t go away.”

  Her face had gone hot crimson again. Good thing it was dark up here.

  “And I’m trying real hard to be, you know, a gentleman. But you went there first, so fuck it.” He kissed her neck hungrily, tonguing her earlobe. “It’s true. I want to put my face between your legs. Open up your pussy lips, and make your clit pop out, and suck on it until you moan and pull my hair.”

  “Keep talking,” she murmured.

  He nipped at the sensitive cord in her neck and went on in a low, rasping whisper. “Most of all I want to tongue-fuck your pussy nice and slow. For as long as you want … until you come right against my face. How does that sound?”

 
“Um.” She tried to swallow, but her throat quivered. “Good. Very good.”

  “Sorry,” he whispered against her ear. “Too much, too soon. I know. It’s been a weird night. I feel really close to you after what happened. Like we’re already lovers. That’s my only excuse.”

  “It would be a good excuse if you needed an excuse. But you don’t.” She dragged him closer.

  His eyes flashed. “Have mercy on me, Alison. Don’t let me fuck this up. Tell me to dial it down if I need to dial it down.”

  She exhaled slowly. “You could ask me for anything you wanted tonight.”

  He hesitated. “Anything,” he repeated.

  She nodded.

  “I’m taking you at your word,” he warned.

  “You do that.”

  He sank down to his knees, lifting up the hem of her long skirt. “Hold this.”

  He admired her lace panties for a second, no more, and tugged them down.

  Zade ran his hands reverently over her hips, her thighs, her ass, between her legs. His hot breath caressed her thighs. He inhaled hungrily. “Ahhh. So fucking perfect.”

  Then he put his mouth to her, and every thought still lingering in her head melted into a liquid shimmer of shocked sensation.

  He was fiercely focused on her pleasure, his tongue sliding eagerly between her folds. Swirling and thrusting into her molten core.

  Her head fell back. She was shocked at how wonderful it felt. How wonderful she felt.

  She tried to steady herself by digging her fingers into his shoulders, but his muscles were massive, unyielding. She wound her fingers into his hair. Intense pleasure with a bright, shining edge of terror swelled like a vast wave, rising higher … and higher …

  Chapter 5

  Zade pressed his face against her mound, nuzzling the soft, wet slickness of her tender folds, savoring her sweet taste. Aftershocks still rippled through her, easing slowly down to panting, trembling stillness. Her hands were still wound through his hair. Gripping like she didn’t want to let go.

  He didn’t dare look up. He felt naked and raw and it was going to show. He didn’t want her to see that. Didn’t want anyone to see it.

  What the fuck just happened?

  They had spiraled way out of control, starting from someplace deep inside him. It was like being possessed. She was oxygen. He was drowning.

  And this was nuts. He had to stay on top of himself somehow.

  Yeah, good luck with that, with your face buried between her legs.

  So damn good. He could have spent hours playing with her pussy, licking and nuzzling until it beamed. Tender and sticky as a sun-ripened peach.

  He loosened his grip on her beautiful bare ass, gave those soft, juicy girl parts a farewell tongue-kiss, and slid his face up, pressing it against her warm, smooth belly. Still hiding from her.

  He’d never felt anything like it. Her orgasm had torn through his own mind. Blinding fireworks, spinning colors in his head. She shone, and so did he, by reflex. She’d lit him up with all that light.

  But some things were better left shrouded in darkness.

  He bought himself some time nuzzling her navel. Inhaling the sweet fragrance of her shampoo, soap, and lotion, mixed with her unique body scent.

  He’d recognize it from miles away if the wind was right. One whiff and he’d come at a dead run.

  She was stroking his hair. Caressing the part of his face that was not plastered against her petal-smooth skin. Her touch felt great.

  “Zade,” she whispered. “That was amazing. I had no idea … ”

  Neither had he. He rose to his feet. Her skirt was still bunched up against her middle. Nothing covered her down below but those cock-teasing striped thigh-highs. He was captivated by that dreamy smile as she offered herself up with sensual abandon to his hungry eyes, his greedy hands.

  “You’ll get cold,” he said. “You should cover up.”

  “But it feels good.” Her voice had a wondering tone. “Everything feels good.”

  That ratcheted his hard-on even harder and higher. His cock ached and pulsed. Sweat trickled down his back.

  Something snapped, pushed too far, wound too tight. Out of nowhere, they were madly at it again. No skillful approach, no seductive circling, just wild, frantic kissing, like they’d die if they didn’t get closer to each other right now.

  The velvet softness of her skin, the hot curves and silken heat beneath her skirt rolled over what was left of his impulse control. He lifted her up, clutching her warm ass cheeks in his hands. She clutched back, pulling him against herself. The hard bulge of his cock pressed her belly.

  That radiant, soft-focus glow on her face blew what was left of his mind.

  Sweet surrender. He could have her. Here and now. She’d let him do her on the roof, in the rain, up against a brick wall, and it would be so fucking good.

  He reached further down, stroking the wet seam of her pussy with his finger. She moved against him, and his finger slid inside her. Plush, clenching hot heaven. She shivered and sighed, wiggling around his hand. So wet. It would be a tight fit, but he could make it work for her. A slick, hot plunge and a hard, pounding ride, straight toward their ultimate release. His heart thundered with urgency.

  A flash of anger intruded on his lust-fueled daze, disorienting him. Where the fuck did she get off, dropping her guard like that? He could be a monster from a radioactive swamp for all she knew. But what was his problem, anyhow? She was playing right into his hands.

  This was so messed up. So fucking backwards.

  Eyes on the prize. This was about Luke. He wanted inside this girl’s mind. He had to know if anything in there could be useful for finding Luke. He’d get her home and bone her brains out. Take the edge off so he could think straight.

  And then he would get his goddamn head back in the game.

  He steeled himself, and slid his finger out of her.

  “Don’t break the spell,” she said.

  He didn’t want to. She was so beautiful, head thrown back, eyes closed. That pale mass of hair moving with every gust of wind. The sweep of dark lashes, shadowing her cheek.

  He released her skirt. It dropped heavily down around her ankles. “We should get you back down to earth,” he said.

  “But I like it up here in the sky. I don’t ever want to come back down.”

  “We all have to come down to earth sometime.”

  She must have heard something in his voice, because she went very still. Her eyes opened, but she didn’t look at him.

  “I get it.” Her voice was low. “This is the part where you tell me that this went too far, too fast, and you want to walk it back.”

  “Hell no.” It exploded out of him louder than he intended. “I’m not walking anything back.”

  Her smile returned full force. “Good,” she said.

  He buttoned her coat. Couldn’t trust himself to speak right now.

  Most of the Midlanders had scrubbed the worst effects of the brain-stim patterns out of their minds, by hard work and the passage of time, but he and Luke were special cases. The control codes programmed into them were too deeply embedded in his and Luke’s core ASP to eradicate. Even if he’d known what the damn codes were, which he didn’t.

  If Obsidian ever identified him as one of the Midland rebels with control codes, he would be at their mercy. Which meant that all of them would be.

  And Obsidian had no mercy.

  Simone’s phone rang again.

  The hell-chimes were faint, but they got to her in the same terrifying way. Her smile faded to a mask, her eyes froze wide. He felt it coming down on her again. The cold, the shock, the pain. The noise. Her heart labored. He’d seen her turn that phone off. The bastards must have rigged her device so they could turn it on remotely.

  It made him angry. Those assholes. Hurting her, using her, and she had no clue. They’d left her in the dark, alone and confused.He was going to rip their guts out for doing that to her.

  She reached
into her coat pocket, pulled out the phone and stared down at the glowing display. She began, robotically, to lift it to her ear.

  “No!” He snatched the phone from her hand and hurled it at the wall.

  It smashed and scattered into pieces for the second time that evening, but this time, he stomped the pieces. Ground them with his heel. That piece-of-shit phone wasn’t coming back from the dead another time. Rest in peace, motherfucker.

  He looked up at Simone, hoping he hadn’t made matters worse. When the means of fulfilling the compulsion pattern were removed, things could go either way. It depended on how well-established the pattern was. How far down into the programming it went. And the subject’s personality and character.

  Simone was struggling for breath, but there was a fierce, hard light in her eyes. She wasn’t going under. She was still fighting.

  Solid as a rock. Fucking wow.

  He seized her, hugging her close, since that seemed to have helped the last time. “You using your talisman?” he whispered into her ear.

  She gave him a jerky nod and swayed forward, resting her forehead on his shoulder. It didn’t take as long for her to wrestle it down this time.

  He knew they were in the clear when her arms went up and her fingers dug into his back, pulling him close. Safe and sound.

  He tilted her face up, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. The talisman helped.” She vibrated with something like laughter. “But Zade, what the hell? You killed my phone.”

  “Yeah,” he said savagely.

  He couldn’t think of anything to say, not being free to explain himself. He had no way to justify going apeshit and destroying her stuff.

  Chill. Shine it on. Work the man magic angle. Work it hard.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I just lost it for a minute. I’ll buy you a new phone tomorrow. The best one going. Without that evil-ass ringtone.”

  “Okay. I’ve wanted to smash that phone since I got it. It’s just your standard smartphone, identical to millions of others. But I never did. I guess I was afraid to … ”

  He picked up the thought where her voice trailed off. “To look like a raving head-case who forgot to take her meds?”