My Next Breath

by Shannon McKenna

  “I’ll explain the theory to you later, Zade,” she said impatiently. “I need to work now.”

  “Fine,” he said. “Whatever.”

  A long, strange day followed. He stayed right next to her the whole time, needle at the ready, but Simone seemed to have forgotten that he and Asa existed.

  She existed only to work on Brenner’s brain. She’d knotted her hair back with string, but a few soft curls wafted up around her face, backlit by the overhead into a halo. His brainy angel, with crazy goggles on her face. Wild.

  Simone peered into the imager through her goggles, constantly manipulating the frequency wand. She never relaxed her focus. She only acknowledged Zade’s existence when she was signaling for something that was out of her reach.

  He passed the time ogling her. Why not? He was just a fly on the wall.

  She just kept at it. Four hours, six. Ten. They had arrived in mid-morning and there was no daylight down here in Asa’s dungeon, but his ASP told him when twilight fell and when evening thickened into night.

  Asa brought food down at one point. Zade tried to get Simone to eat. Lost cause. She wasn’t just ignoring him. He could tell, monitoring her physiological reactions with ASP, that she literally didn’t hear him speak or feel his hand tapping her shoulder.

  She just perched there on a stool Asa found for her, peering into Brenner’s brain, moving the wand constantly, stopping only to type into the laptop.

  Brenner was quiet for the most part. He yelled a few times, writhed occasionally. At one point, he started to sob, tears carving tracks into the bloody grime on his face.

  Asa dragged an IV rack in from his hospital suite and set up a glucose drip, the first fluids and nourishment Brenner had taken since he’d come out of his coma. He tried to speak a few times, but only made thick, garbled sounds. Mostly he just gulped air, his body shaking with tension. As if trying to learn how to breathe again.

  Sometime around midnight, he drifted into what looked like sleep.

  Simone didn’t even look up.

  “Simone.” Zade shook her shoulder, as persistent and annoying as only he could be. “Simone. Hey.”

  She lifted a hand, making a shushing gesture and went back to her frantic typing. A block of code was pouring out onto the screen.

  “Simone,” he said more loudly. “He’s asleep. Take a break now.”

  “If I leave him alone, the disturbance will build back up again,” she said. “Stress flashbacks. Nightmares. That could knock him right back to square one.”

  Zade grunted. His own sleep, whenever he got any of the real stuff, was always full of suck-ass nightmares. Vicious, bloody, wake-up-screaming nightmares.

  “So he can join the club,” he said. “It won’t kill him.”

  “He’s been through so much,” Simone said fiercely. “He needs some real sleep. It’s the least I can do.”

  “You need rest, too. You’ve been at it for fourteen hours without food or drink. You didn’t sleep last night, either. You were too busy fighting stim sickness.”

  Her lips twitched. “Among other things,” she murmured.

  He was heartened that she remembered the sex. That was a good sign.

  “Look, I’m not going to muscle you around because it doesn’t work and it just pisses you off,” he said. “But if you don’t stop and eat something, you’re going to collapse. Turn some of that incredible focus on yourself for one second.”

  She looked down at Brenner’s face. “I don’t want to leave him alone.”

  Zade rigged the laptop so that the webcam was pointed at Brenner, synched the video feed to the tablet, and handed it to her. “Keep an eye on him, then. Check him every ten seconds if you want.”

  He felt the moment that she gave way to his pleading. He slid an arm around her and he led her, stumbling, through the corridors and back up the stairs. She’d dived so deep, she’d forgotten how to talk. He knew exactly how that felt.

  Zade guided her to a chair in Asa’s big kitchen, and pulled open the fridge, taking a quick inventory. “Grilled cheese?”

  “I’m not really all that hungry,” Simone said faintly.

  He looked her over. She was still in another world and needed to come down to earth.

  “Grilled cheese it is,” he said. “Coming right up.”

  He got to work and soon was sliding a plate of toasty golden sandwiches in front of her. “Beer to wash it down? He’s got plenty in the fridge.”

  “Water’s fine,” she said.

  “Tequila’s better.” Asa stood at the entrance to the kitchen, holding a bottle of Patron by the neck.

  “How’s Brenner?” Asa asked.

  Simone pushed the tablet toward him. “Sleeping,” she said.

  Asa went to the table and studied the screen for a few moments. He exhaled slowly and rubbed his eyes as if they stung. “Thank you,” he said.

  She waved her hand. “It’s nothing.”

  “Hey.” Asa’s voice was a thick rasp of exhaustion. “He’s sleeping. Which means that I can too. For the first time since he woke up four days ago.”

  Zade looked at the guy, startled. Really looked at him. They’d all been so focused on Brenner, he hadn’t noticed that Asa looked like shit, too. Caved in and hollow-eyed. A hell of a bruise was forming on his forehead.

  Fuck. Like he needed to feel guilty about Asa too.

  “I’m glad to help.” Simone held up the glass Zade had given her. “I’ve changed my mind,” she said. “Give me a shot of tequila.”

  Asa poured her a generous slosh.

  Zade snagged two more glasses from the shelf and held them out. “Sorry I was a dick,” he said awkwardly as the liquor glugged into his glass. “About Brenner, the other day. I wasn’t listening to you.”

  Asa took his glass. “You sucked,” he agreed. “But she made it right. So I can afford to be generous.” He lifted his glass. “To Simone. You came through. Against all odds.” He tossed the liquor back.

  Zade lifted his glass. “To Simone.” He drank it down.

  Simone held her liquor glass like she’d forgotten what to do with it, and blushed.She lifted her glass and gulped it down, sputtering.

  Then they heard a faint sound from the tablet on the table.

  The sound of rattling chains.

  Chapter 25

  Zade muscled his way to the front in the mad rush for the stairs. His processor revved wildly as they filed into the underground room and gathered around the bed.

  Simone broke the ice. “Brenner? Are you awake? We heard you moving.”

  Brenner’s swollen eyelids struggled to open. He finally turned his head as far as he was able, peering at her. “Hey,” he croaked. “Fucking hurts.”

  “I can get you something for the pain,” Asa said.

  “No.” Brenner’s voice took on a rough strength. “No more … junk.”

  “I hear you, man. You change your mind, you let me know. I got stuff.”

  Brenner kept his eyes stuck on Simone, which didn’t surprise Zade. She was easy on sore eyes. “You’re the one,” he said to her hoarsely. “You made it stop.”

  Simone put her hand gently onto his battered fingers, which made every muscle in Zade’s body seize up with screaming tension. That guy could break every bone in her hand with a single squeeze.

  “Don’t do that,” he hissed. “Let go of his hand.”

  True to form, she ignored him. She just smiled at Brenner. “I did a treatment on your brain with the tools I had,” she said. “I’m glad it helped.”

  She must look like a ministering angel. A tousled, tired, incredibly beautiful angel. Shining like a goddamn star. Like always.

  Brenner just gaped at her like he couldn’t stop. Not that Zade could blame him, but it made him uneasy. It had been a very long day, and he didn’t get off on watching his girlfriend radiating glory at another man. Cradling his hand as he gazed worshipfully into her face. The fuck?

  “You can ease off on the angel of mercy routine,
” he growled.

  “Your asshole is showing,” Asa murmured, poker-faced. “Cover it quick.”

  He glared back. “Didn’t ask for your opinion.”

  “Won’t stop me from offering it,” Asa shot back.

  “Shut up, both of you,” Simone said. “He’s trying to talk.”

  “ … sit up?” Brenner mumbled.

  Tension gripped him. “I’m sorry, man,” Zade said with genuine regret. “Too soon. Rest a little while longer.”

  “Unlock the cuffs,” Asa said.

  They all looked at him, startled.

  “You heard me,” Asa said. “Are you just like those Obsidian motherfuckers, Zade? Or do you know right from wrong?”

  “It’s not a moral issue,” Zade growled. “It’s a security issue. He was homicidal a few hours ago.”

  Asa glanced at Simone. “What’s your take? You just mapped his brain.”

  “All I have is raw data,” she said. “I’m on uncharted ground. But for what it’s worth, I say unlock the cuffs. Let’s be who we are. Not what they tried to make us.”

  Asa grinned. “Dude. She really is inspiring.”

  Zade’s jaw ached. “Then Simone leaves the room.”

  “No, I’m staying right here,” she said. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

  Zade turned his gaze to Brenner, who tried to shrug. “I won’t freak out,” Brenner offered. “I promise.”

  “Great,” Zade grumbled. He glared at Simone. “Step way, way back.”

  Here went nothing. Four handcuffs came off. Wrist, ankle, wrist, ankle. Brenner was free. He tried to sit up, but sank back down with a grunt of pain. Simone moved to help him, but Asa and Zade lunged to get there first. Between the two of them, they heaved Brenner’s huge body into a slumped sitting position on the bed. Brenner braced himself against the mattress, racked by hoarse coughs.

  “Want some water?” Simone asked.

  He looked up. “Callie,” he said hoarsely.

  Simone looked at Zade. “Who?”

  “Callie is his daughter,” Zade said. “She’s two years old.”

  Brenner’s eyes brightened, and he sat up straighter. “You know about Callie? Is she okay?”

  “Callie is fine.” Asa reached for the tablet on the table and tapped onto it. “I figured you would want to know how she’s doing, so I got a guy to take some photos and video for you. These are all from the past four weeks.”

  He handed the tablet to Brenner. The man took it and swept with his bloodied and thickened forefinger through a series of photos.

  Zade caught a glimpse of a tiny girl with a cloud of curly dark hair and big, worried looking eyes.

  Brenner tapped the arrow to view a video. Noisy little kids playing some random game to start. Then the clip zoomed in on a close-up of Callie, quiet and alone in a carpeted area. She rocked a baby doll in her arms. Her voice was inaudible in the din, but she was clearly singing.

  “That’s her day care center,” Asa said. “It’s a good place. Up to date, clean, accredited. I’ve accessed their security camera, so you can check her.”

  “Where’s she living?”

  “Still in Wardwell, with a distant relative. A second cousin of your wife’s, I think. Lucy Cade’s her name. A research librarian. Lives alone. Seems like a good person. I did a background check on her, looked at her social media accounts. You can look over her file later if you want.”

  Brenner covered his face and hunched over. “Callie’s hair’s gotten so long.”

  His shoulders shook. They all waited, in a silent agony of sympathy. After a couple of minutes, Brenner wiped his face and straightened. “I have to go to her.”

  “No,” Asa and Zade said in unison.

  “She’s not safe! Those bastards could hurt her. She should be with me.”

  “The safest place for her right now is where she is,” Zade said.

  “In a goddamn foster home?” Brenner’s voice cracked. “She already lost her mom last year. I can’t imagine how it was for her when I just disappeared.”

  “Listen,” Asa said. “Obsidian thinks you’re dead. That’s a good thing. If you’re dead, Callie’s no use to them. And they’ll forget about her.”

  “But she’s all alone!”

  “This Lucy Cade who comes to pick her up seems like a nice enough woman.” Asa’s voice was measured. “Callie runs to hug her when she shows up.”

  “Brenner, the minute you play your hand, Callie becomes a target,” Zade said. “She can be used to control you.”

  Brenner sagged back down. “Then what in the hell am I supposed to do?”

  “Nothing yet,” Asa said. “We’re not telling you to abandon her, but you have to get back on your feet. You need resources to protect her. You just woke up a few minutes ago.”

  “It’s been too long already,” Brenner muttered.

  “She’s covered.” Asa squeezed Brenner’s shoulder. “My guys down there are watching out for her, twenty-four seven. Just in case. So far, so good.”

  Zade was startled. “You never said anything about that.”

  “You never asked.” Asa turned back to Brenner. “Get better fast. Get everything you need together. Then go get your little girl.”

  Brenner looked around at all of them, bewildered. “Who the fuck are you people?”

  Asa nodded at Zade. “Over to you, dude. Explain yourself.”

  “We’re rebels,” Zade said. “We got caught by Obsidian, but we survived and got away. Like you.”

  Then Asa had to put in his two cents. “Not me, though,” he said. “Just to be clear. I’m not a modified. But I am a rebel. With no cause but my own.”

  “Right,” Simone said. “Except for going all out to protect a little kid you don’t even know. Sounds like a cause to me.”

  Asa frowned. “Enough. We’ve been doing cartwheels to keep this guy alive, so talk to him, not to me.” He stalked out of the room, grumbling under his breath. A few moments later, he was back with a steaming coffee mug.

  He handed it to Brenner, who looked at it as if he’d never seen coffee before.

  “Welcome back to the world,” Asa said.

  “Do you remember the last few days since the coma?” Zade asked.

  Brenner’s face contracted as he sipped the hot coffee. “Kinda. It was like what he did with the pain wand except that it never ended. I wanted to die. But I couldn’t.”

  “He? You mean Mark Olund?” Zade asked.

  Brenner nodded. “He had our activation and compulsion codes. They’re synched with the cranial implants. A pulse from the wand, and he had complete control. If he’d told me to rip out my own eyeballs, I would’ve done it. What about the others? Did any of them make it?”

  Zade’s silence answered him.

  Brenner looked away. “Dead,” he said dully. “All of them.”

  “Three died in combat,” Zade said. “The others died resisting compulsion. The cerebral disruptors brought them down. But somehow you survived that. You were in a coma for seven weeks. Then you woke up. And went nuts.”

  “Am I sane now?” Brenner asked. “I don’t feel sane. I feel like shit.”

  “You’ve been through hell, but your brain responded to the neurostim quickly,” Simone told him. “Faster than any I’ve ever seen. You’ll recover, eventually.” She gave Zade a warning glance. “But he’s tired now.”

  “I know that,” Zade said. “I’m not going to debrief him now.”

  “Good,” Brenner said. “I wouldn’t remember anything even if you tried.”

  “I hear you. But I do have just one urgent question,” Zade said.

  “Go ahead. Ask it.” Brenner looked at him curiously.

  “Mark Olund captured my brother. He was holding him in whatever facility he considers his main headquarters. But I don’t know where that is. Did you ever go there? Or learn its location?”

  Brenner’s eyebrows knitted together. “He never took us to his headquarters,” he said.


  Zade’s hopes nosedived into free-fall. “So,” he said slowly. “No clue, then.”

  “We were only with Mark for a few days,” Brenner said, gulping down the last of his coffee. Asa must have made it strong, because Brenner started talking faster. “He’d just scored a weapons cache. He was activating the prototypes on the short list. I drove his truck around while he collected the others. Then we headed to Seattle to pick up that woman he wanted. The one who could open his safe.”

  “Caro Bishop,” Zade said.

  “Yeah. Her. That was the mission. Get Caro Bishop so he could activate his army, and then wipe out the whole world. That was his master plan.”

  Talking so much clearly exhausted the guy, coffee or no coffee. Zade felt bad for pressing him but he couldn’t stop now. “You never synched with Mark’s computer systems?”

  “Just his truck,” Brenner said. “I connected with the GPS a few times when he made me drive.”

  “I already checked the GPS on his truck,” Zade said. “He’d erased it.”

  “Sure he did,” Brenner said. “After.”

  “After what?”

  “After that first day he had me drive it. He’d been driving himself before. At that point, the GPS stored about ten days of the truck’s movements.”

  “And you still have that data?”

  “Yeah.” Brenner rubbed his bleary eyes. “Went straight to my auxiliaries. I never even ran it through my conscious memory. But unless my hardware got damaged in the battle, it should still be there. You want it?”

  Asa nudged him. “Yo,” he said. “Ease off. Drill him later.”

  “Nah, it’s okay,” Brenner said. “Take it, if you want it.”

  Asa looked puzzled. “Take what?”

  “The data.” Brenner looked at Zade. “You’re technokinetic too, right? Just take it. I won’t try to block you. I’ll even highlight it for you. Look in C-897.” He looked around at them, then back at Zade. “What the hell are you waiting for?”

  Zade hesitated. “I don’t want to data-dive in your head after what you’ve been through.” He gestured at the laptop. “Could you just put it onto the hard drive?”

  “Whatever.” Brenner closed his eyes for a second. “Done and downloaded.”