Facing The Pain

by Vera Quinn

  “Alright, I’m ready. My time is almost up. I miss home.” I just didn’t know I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. I was released on a medical discharge, but I missed Snide’s funeral.

  I was there for Peter’s. He couldn’t take being paralyzed from the waist down, so he took his own life. Long did the same thing a year later. He said his life was useless without both his legs. I died a little more with each loss.

  Chapter Seven

  CHARLIE

  Life Went On

  I went through some depression, but I picked myself up and went on. It’s what a soldier does. I turned twenty-one a few weeks after Long’s death and I spiraled hard.

  My vision into the future stopped at going into the Army. Check—done that. Now to the next thing. I found my way the second week I was home and had come home drunk off my ass with Rance. My dad found out and the next morning my dad announced that no daughter of his was going to become a club slut. I mean, really? I’d come home with my virtue intact and with my brother.

  I knew building my home was my next big venture. I set up an appointment with an architect to look at some plans and let him know what I was looking for. I knew this would be a work in progress for a while. I was a grown woman, and it was time I was adulting all the time.

  I don’t know how it happened, but Duke asked me out for a date, and at the time, he seemed like a good man. I mean, bikers don’t date, but if he could bend for me, then I could tolerate a date. The thing was that Duke was sweet when he stopped being such a big flirt. He opened doors for me and asked what my preferences were. I had a very enjoyable time, and he wasn’t handsy. The things I heard of Duke was he was a lady’s man, and he wasn’t choosey of which lady. With me, he was different, or he made it seem that way.

  We compromised that we would see each other but not at the clubhouse. My dad approved with reservations and Quinton was the only brother of mine that disapproved. He wouldn’t say why. I thought he and Duke were tight. The only thing Quinton would say was to keep my eyes open. I assured him I would. The longer that Duke and I spent together, the more infatuated I became. Duke told me in time that he loved me and wanted to make me his ol’ lady. I knew what an honor that was in the club. I knew what I felt wasn’t anything close to what I felt for Jake, but then I thought maybe we only get that one great love in our life. One soulmate and the rest were just love. I didn’t even know if love was what I was feeling.

  I agreed to be Duke’s ol’ lady, but I told him everything that I was feeling. I would never deceive someone that way. I told Quinton and talked to him about it too. He told me to follow my heart but to not do it with my eyes closed. Club life was club life and there were always hidden agendas—another weird remark.

  That was the night that Duke and I first made love. Duke was sweet and took care of me. I felt like a precious doll. I didn’t know if I would ever feel that safe and loved again. If I had only listened to Quinton closer.

  It was our big night a little over a month later. Duke had been acting differently, and it was like my family suddenly despised him. I knew there was talk around the clubhouse about trouble that was happening in Duke’s family—something about an older brother that had been disowned years ago. I didn’t see how that could have anything to do with my family but in the MC life you just never knew. Duke was as tight lipped about it as my dad and brothers. I was glad tonight was going to be over and by this time tomorrow, I would be a claimed woman and things would get back to normal.

  I knew I shouldn’t be acting this way, but this morning I found out I was pregnant. After this event settled, I would need to bring that up. I had been going for follow-up x-rays and blood tests to make sure I was healing correctly. They did a pregnancy test before the x-ray and it was positive. I was shocked, but I shouldn’t have been. I had never been on birth control except when I was in the military and I quit when I got out. I was told going into a combat zone that it was against the rules to be sexually active. I understood that but being caught behind enemy lines didn’t mean I wouldn’t be attacked by an enemy. I didn’t know if the enemy would understand and follow an order given by the American government. My thoughts were that if I were ever attacked by an enemy, I might be able to find my way back from a rape, but I wouldn’t go home to my family carrying the child of a rapist. I had an implant put in my arm. The side effects that I had from them were not something I liked. I had it removed as soon as I was home. I just hadn’t thought. I would face the consequences; we could face it. Duke was always telling me what a big family he wanted, and I wasn’t against starting our family now.

  I put on my biker princess best and decided to head over to the clubhouse to see if I could help with something. I walked through the field between our house and the clubhouse. I hadn’t taken that walk for a while. I missed it. I went in the back way, walking through the garage to get to the back door of the kitchen. No one could see me, and I was being quiet. A conversation my dad was having with my brothers stopped me. I stooped down and finished listening so I couldn’t be found eavesdropping.

  “Dad, we need to tell Charlie. If not, she’s going into a relationship without knowing everything. Once that tattoo is in place, the only way she can be released is when Duke is ready to let her go. You know he was on a mission to get Charlie so it would strengthen the ties between his dad’s club and ours. It’s what the mother chapter wants, and that’s why this is happening. Jules wants both territories under his rule, and he thinks he has his way to do that if our families are brought together. Then all he would need to do is get rid of you before you step down. It doesn’t matter who you would leave the presidency to in our club. There’s been too many accidents and brothers hurt in other clubs for all this to be a coincidence. I say Jules and Duke have something to do with it. Duke will hurt Charlie. The club has always been our lives, but Charlie is our blood. We need to do something to stop this.” Tobie was livid.

  “The vote was taken that no brother would interfere. Whoever gives Charlie any information is out of the club. No exceptions. That came from the mother club. I have no say in it. The mother chapter wants this union. Are you ready to walk away from the club? We could do that, all of us, but they still get what they want—our club. If we let this play out, we may find a way to intercede along the way. We are here, and no one can hurt Charlie this way. She’s protected by each of us.” Dad wasn’t happy about this at all.

  “The mother club didn’t say we couldn’t fuck Duke up every damn day,” Rance yelled. Dad quieted him. I knew how the club worked. The mother club kept their noses out of each club’s business if they pay their dues unless it was something important. They thought this would strengthen the club. I saw the advantages of having close ties between different chapters. That would leave Duke the head of one of the clubs and that was a power play. Duke and his dad, Jules, have had an eye on Dad’s club, because Dad has made it prosper. But if Dad or my brothers do anything to tip me off, then they were canned. Not on my watch. Dad’s club made twice the money of any of the other chapters of the club but the mother chapter. He also takes on more responsibility of the jobs that trickle down from the mother chapter, so he is respected more. He’s worked too hard to get this club where it needs to be. I needed to find Quinton.

  I found Quinton in his room and I took him back out the back door and back down my trail before anyone was able see us. I brought Quinton to the small pond on the path. I knew this was out of surveillance camera’s view.

  “Quit beating around the bush and tell me. I overheard the things that Duke and Jules have put in motion. It’s a power play to take our family out of the president’s role in the club for this charter. I also know anyone that interferes with our relationship gets to kick rocks. This conversation is between us and it goes no further. I will take it to my grave.” I tried to convince Quinton to tell me.

  “Duke didn’t argue with you not coming to the club with him because he has a club girl set up in his room. He’s arrogant about it
and has been rubbing it in Dad’s nose. There’s not a damn thing Dad can do about it. There’s a rumor that Sheila is knocked up. That’s a rumor between the girls but it’s spreading around the club. Everyone in the club knows what Duke is up to, but we have been bound not to say a damn thing. Duke is a prospect here, but he was ready to get his patch at his dad’s club. The word has come down that the mother club wants him patched in here. Who would extend their prospect days? It didn’t make sense to us. When our president of the mother chapter was taken out last year, they put one of the Lake brothers in that position. It was voted on so it is legal within our bylaws, but it was done so fast that no one could really react to all of it. The man that took out the old president was never found and it’s rumored to be an inside job, but every time we are close to finding the man, he is tipped off. We have a mole or more than one somewhere in our club. We don’t think it’s in our chapter but now the search has been on hold for a while. It’s like they don’t want to find the man. We have started our own investigation on the down low and if we are found out, then we will be answering to the mother chapter.” Quinton pauses and then looks at me and smiles. “Damn, I’m glad you’re still nosy.” Quinton hugged me tight. I sat and began to think. The claiming was that night. I was out of time. I looked at my watch. This is all a lot to take in. There’s only one way to help my family now or the only way I can figure out. I need to stall and give my family more time to do their digging while the club is busy somewhere else.

  “When was the last time Jake’s truck was serviced and is it filled up with gas?” I questioned my brother.

  “Last week and yes, it’s full of gas and has new tires. Why?” Quinton asked.

  “I’m going to go and pack a few things and put them in Jake’s truck. Does Dad have a tracker on it?” Quinton looked at his feet. I knew it. “Can you take it off for me and make sure there are no others? I’m leaving my cell phone in my room and cutting all ties with social media. I have some cash stashed in my room and I will drive and stay somewhere close tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll withdraw everything from my savings except the money I’ll leave for my house to be built. Dad will take care of that,” I rambled off.

  “What are you talking about?” Quinton asked.

  “Brother, tonight I disappear for a year or two. I want Duke to go to the next club and try to conquer it. You know if they can’t get what they want here, they’ll try it somewhere else. Once he claims someone else, I’ll come back. This will also give all of you time to dig and find answers on all the strange things going on. It’s not forever, just for now. I’m taking one of Dad’s still packaged prepaids. I’ll put all your numbers in it and some numbers I don’t want to lose. I’ll keep in touch from a distance but not for a while. At first, it will be mail correspondence, nothing traceable. This can work. After I get the truck loaded and ready to go, then I’ll go to the clubhouse and let this thing play out. After the big show, I’ll sneak out and hit the road. You and Dad need to find out who is helping Duke and his family in the mother chapter. They couldn’t do this all alone. Find out why. I love you and all our family. I am trusting only you with this.” I hoped Quinton wouldn’t argue.

  “If you promise to be careful and take your gun then I think this could work. It’s not the perfect solution but it will give us time and you’ll be safe and away from here.” Quinton thinks about it for a minute. “Don’t use any plastic and no checks. What about your medical and your disability? Go to Pittsburg and get in touch with Louie. He owes the family favors and can get fake identifications. One is not enough, but only buy two at a time. If you get caught with them, it can be jail time. He will be the go between. Charles Cants is in San Antonio and Darrell Bests is in Oklahoma. They are the best and fastest at taking care of fake identifications and that gives you a few names to remember. I’ll put the numbers in your phone. I’ll activate the phone after I take care of the trackers. I think this is a good plan for now. You know Dad would never ask this of you.” Quinton hung his head.

  “It’s alright, Quinton. I can take care of myself. When I come back, my house will be complete. I’ll worry about seeing doctors when I cross that bridge. My check will still go to the bank. I know the club life is what you all live for. I won’t make any of you pay for my stupid decisions. I was living in a fairy tale and everyone knows at midnight, everything changes back. Let’s stop thinking about this and making ourselves miserable. Just let the rest of them know that I’m fine, and this was my decision. No one takes my decisions away.”

  Chapter Eight

  CHARLIE

  The Big Day

  My tasks at home are done. I packed what I could in a couple of duffle bags. It’s not like I will be able to wear my clothes in a few months. I will need to get a job. Quinton helped as much as he could. Nothing about packing up your life is easily done in thirty minutes. I took the things that are most important. I couldn’t leave my memories of Jake at home this time.

  I walk in the back door of the clubhouse and the ol’ ladies are all in the kitchen gossiping. No one would come right out and say Duke was cheating on me but there were a lot of clues dropped. Sheila is the front and center clue. Everyone is taking bets on who the baby belongs to and the top name is Duke. I act surprised but heartbroken, then more things keep coming up—like the way Duke was busy today moving her out of his room. I knew this and it hurt, but I shut it down and out of my mind so I could get through tonight. If the ol’ ladies only knew that I was pregnant by the same man. I didn’t tell Quinton that part either. I know they would try to stop me from leaving if they knew. The code is if a man gets a woman knocked up then he can claim her. I’m not giving Duke that in.

  I leave the kitchen with the intention of finding Sheila or Duke, but I don’t have to go far because she is standing in front of him looking up at him. The room is quiet. Dad walks up next to me.

  “You don’t need to see this. I’ll explain later.” My dad is in ‘protect Charlie’ mode. I’m not having it and I don’t need it. I walk away from Dad and up beside Duke.

  “Duke, is Sheila’s baby yours? Don’t even try lying. Is there a possibility?” Duke sizes me up and tries to figure out what mood I’m in. I have my mask in place, and he would never be able to emotionally touch me again. That’s over with.

  “There’s that possibility. It also could be any brothers here. Who has been feeding you information? Your damn brothers or Dad will lose their cuts if it’s them.” Sheila intakes a breath loudly. “Besides that, she’s a club whore, and I wanted to get all my side-fucking out of the way before we were married. No ring on this finger and no cunt owns my cock until I claim you.” That makes me see red. I look at Sheila.

  “Honey, you deserve better.” I first look at Sheila and then I look at Duke. “We are done. I will not accept your claim and if you want to press the issue, we can go to ring tomorrow. My brothers and Dad never said a word. They chose the club over me.” In this chapter of the club, the woman has the option of calling ring if she doesn’t want the claiming of a man. It’s a genuine thing but any man that takes it that far loses face in the club. He would never be voted in as an officer because the club takes pride in the ol’ ladies of this club and all club ol’ ladies are here because they want to be, not because they were forced. I look at Dad and he is feeling what I said.

  “You already accepted, bitch. I will take what is mine.” Duke gets in my face and all the brothers of the club stand up. Duke backs away.

  “I believe you remember that conversation we had. The one where we said that we belonged to each other from that day on. We were in a monogamous relationship. Were those not your exact words?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

  “Words are just words. I know my rights as a brother. I’ll accept the ring. I’ve been needing to knock some damn sense into you, anyway.” I raise a brow at him.

  “There’s never been a brother that accepted ring from a woman that was voted in as an officer or kept a seat as an officer.” Duke l
ooks at me and he knows I have figured his plan out. I almost want to laugh. He wants to tell me off, but he knows better than to let his hand be shown to everyone.

  “Fine, no ring, but you will be mine and every brother here better hear this. Anyone touches Charlie, and I will cut your throat.” Duke is showing his true colors.

  “Claim not accepted. You can move Sheila back to your room now, but, Sheila, you deserve better.” I turn to leave but Duke catches my arm and squeezes hard. Yance steps up and pries his hand off and pushes Duke away.

  “This discussion is not finished.” If Duke only knew how finished it was. I hug my dad and tell him I love him and then do the same for each of my brothers. I hug my special aunts and uncles that I will miss. I slip out in the middle of Duke and Sheila’s argument. I make it home down the same path I had walked earlier with the flashlight of my phone. I go upstairs and take a quick shower and put on fresh clothes. I leave my phone on my nightstand and hook it up to the charger. I leave a note for each of my siblings and Dad. I make sure the kitchen is clean and the coffee machine is ready for the next morning and turn the lights out. I lock up and get in Jake’s truck. Now, I am driving away from my past and finding my future with my child.